This fanfic is meant to be post TROS. A bit of a slow burn I will admit but I am enjoying writing it so far. It will explore the Reylo relationship, and her longing to bring him back. It will also feature a new enemy. I am planning on updating at least once or twice a week! Enjoy
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Star Wars Story. Just a fan wanting to write.
Note: I am fueled by reviews. The more reviews, the more I seem to write.
Chapter 1
I'm there again. Sitting on the rocky dark surface, the birthplace of the sith. It was cold and wet, lightning struck the sky frequently. It was the only source of light besides the moon and glow from the final orders ships. Kylo—I catch myself on my words, he was no longer Kylo Ren, but rather Ben Solo. He is with me. My lips still tingling from the kiss we shared only seconds ago. His smile brightens the darkness around us, still holding his face, I can only help but to smile back at the man I will share my life with. I feel his weight start to collapse and I hold him tight to catch him. He's collapsed in my arms again
"No no no no. Ben"
I stir him a little, thinking this time will be different. "No, Ben please. Stay with me". Tears streaming down my face. I rest my hand and, on his chest, trying to revive him using the force as he did me. I am weak. I push and push trying to help him. I can't.
He sacrificed his life, for me, the orphaned Jakku scavenger, a resistance fighter, his dreaded enemy until only a short time ago. I feel the tears streaming down my face onto his life-less body. A dyad, two that are connected forever. But I've lost him. I feel half my soul has been ripped out. I'm sobbing uncontrollably at this point, gripping his torn shirt.
In an instant, he is gone. Faded away out of my arms. Only his sweater left behind. I collapse even further to the ground, hysterical. Soulmate, my soulmate is gone. I let out a load agonizing scream...
I fling my body out of my bed. I can hardly breathe. The same nightmare for the last year. Every night. Every night I was in agonizing despair. It never got any better. Every time he faded away in my arms, I cried and screamed. At one point, I tried to avoid sleep, I even went five days without it. But that could only last so long, I had passed out on the sixth day and the nightmare was even more vivid then now.
He isn't gone. I can still feel him, but just barely. I feel him every day. His warmth, still imagining that happy smile on his face. I call to him, begging him to appear like he did before. He never comes. I've stopped calling. Only in times of desperation do I call, when I can't calm myself or I think of the darkness that is my bloodline trying to still suede me to the dark side. I have hope that he isn't gone but rather somewhere I cannot find him. I will never stop looking for as long as I can feel his presence.
I slip out of my bed and place a robe on my body. The sky with still black with only a few glowing stars. I walk to get a glass of water, trying to shake the despair and sadness my heart is feeling. I am shaking as I pour into my cup. It must get better; it can't be this excruciating forever.
After the battle at Exegol, I went back with the resistance with my friends Poe, Chewy, Rose, and Finn. Oh Finn, he was crushed when I told him I was leaving. He knew I wasn't leaving for a short amount of time. He knew I was going to isolate myself, having never gotten over the events that had happened. The resistance was in good hands, Poe was going to do a wonderful job taking over for Leia. Although he was reckless at times, I wasn't worried about him, especially with Finn looking watching over him.
I leave my hut and take a stroll on the island of Ahch-To. This is where I found Luke. Hiding from his past, not wanting to face it. He pushed me away, but I am persistent, a quality I'm sure Ben loved. I came back to this place after I buried Luke and Leia's sabers on Tatooine and made my own. As the Jedi texts say, a Jedi must build their own saber. Besides it was time to lay the Skywalker name to rest and it only felt fitting to bury their sabers at the very place the Skywalker saga began. I took the Skywalker name, assuming it as my new identity. I call myself Rey Skywalker not truly knowing if they would approve. Leia and Luke had provided so much guidance, especially Leia leading up to the battle of Exegol. She always had hope I would bring her son back. She loved him, but she knew his conflict.
I walk along the cliffs in the night. It is silent. It is always silent. No one here but me. I isolated myself not wanting to talk to anyone. My friends felt betrayed I wouldn't confide in them. They never understood that I lost my other half, they only ever saw him as Kylo ren, the murderous supreme leader of the first order, they never knew him as Ben solo, kind and caring Jedi. However, they know I was on the island, I wouldn't make the same mistakes Luke did. At any point they can come for help. I prayed there would be peace for a while.