So, everyone has a version of how to fix this mess...I thought I'd give it a go. Let me know what you think?
'Hey, we are hitting up that Pizza Pie place you love. Wanna join us?'
Adam responded quickly. 'No Thanks, Busy.' He tossed his phone back on his table and picked up his remote and started flicking through the channels, finally settling on a replay of a game he already knew the result of.
Instantly regretting his hasty response he reached for his phone again. 'Say Hi to little Mak for me. I miss her.'
'We miss you too. I miss you. Please come?'
That one he didn't bother responded to.
It hadn't been easy, trying to turn off the tap. The tap in him that was always dripping, always ready to put his heart and soul into whatever situation she'd let him be part of.
One tap that was easy to turn off though, not that it hurt any less was the one that involved his father. Bob had been calling him, knocking on his door, waiting outside the district for him. His sister had been calling him, pleading with him to a least talk to their Dad.
She had even turned up on his doorstep, something she never did. It wasn't exactly the closest of relationships, once or twice a year they'd catch up, usually on their Dad's birthday and her birthday. Never on his though, surprisingly they were both always too busy for his birthday. "He's devastated Adam, he hates himself."
"Well that makes two of us. I hate him too." He'd been cold and used as little words as possible. He was annoyed that she was even here. No doubt after having heard Bob's very sanitised version of events.
"You don't mean that." Kate was used to Adam's sharpness when it came to their Dad.
"No I don't but it helps me deal with the betrayal." He bluntly told her. "He put a target on my back, then he put it all on me to save his legacy and pension. While putting a fucking target on me. So forgive me if I am not that keen to play happy families right now."
"What are you talking about? He asked you to help with a few bills?" Kate snapped.
"Is that what he told you?" Adam laughed bitterly. Sadly he wasn't surprised his Dad would lie. Kate was his princess, always got the best of him and she couldn't see that Adam didn't. "Surprise fucking surprise."
He was feeling overwhelmed in his small apartment with the air of tension thick and Kate defiantly defending their father.
"Adam."
"Eighty fucking grand. You know that… Eighty fucking grand he owed and he borrowed it from a drug dealer. He then gave up my name to save his sorry ass. Not even man enough to take a bullet for his own mistakes, he'd rather I'd take it for him. How the fuck do you think that makes me feel? He was willing to let me die to save his sorry ass, and for what? To play happy families with you?" He unloaded and she stood there, her expression changing from stubborn defiance to abject horror and defeat. It was clear her brother's relationship with their Dad was over and she finally got it. "So, no sorry. I just don't fucking care anymore. He's walking this earth but he's fucking dead to me. He's your problem now, don't bother asking for my help."
She took a step towards him and he backed away. "Don't, just don't."
"He's made mistakes and he regrets them…." The rest died on her lips as Adam strode into his bedroom and closed the door. He was done. If she was going to take his side and defend him then he didn't have to listen to it.
Within moments he heard his front door open and close again and knew she'd gone. He did wonder briefly if that was the last he'd see of Kate. While it would be disappointing not to see Sammy it wasn't like he saw a lot of him anyway. They didn't have that kind of relationship.
It had been weeks since he'd heard from either of them, which suited him fine. He knew that it hadn't made one scrap of difference to his sister and did see a post on her Facebook of Sammy and her Dad. He'd bought him a new skateboard and Adam had typed out a bitter response wondering if he actually bought it or who does he owe now? It wasn't fair on Sammy though, the kid looked happy and he needed to figure out his Pops was a deadbeat all on his own so he deleted it.
Adam shut down though, he shut himself off from everyone. As far as work was concerned he went, he did his job the only way he knew how. He gave it everything he had and then went home. He didn't go out drinking or partying, he hit the gym, read books, played video games, caught up on some TV and licked his wounds, alone.
Kevin had tried. Jay had tried and he was just waiting for the next one to knock on his door. There was nothing in the rule book that said you had to live your life in the pocket of your work colleagues.
Jay he just blew off. He was the last person he would talk to knowing full well whatever he said wouldn't stay with Jay. Only two people didn't show up, Burgess and Upton and he wasn't surprised. He never expected Upton to show, she never had before. She never believed in him or trusted him and he knew it and in some strange way that was comforting, he never worried about letting her down because he just didn't care and neither did she. Perhaps that was the reason it lasted longer than it should of. Neither of them cared not on any real level.
Burgess not showing up didn't surprise him either, sadly but it still hurt.
Kevin was tougher. He could see why this was a struggle for Kevin, he was caught in the middle. He loved Kim like a brother should love a sister, and that made it hard for him to toe the line.
At this point in time though, Kevin wasn't exactly neutral. They'd had it out and Adam got to lay it down that the moment Kevin even thought he had it in him to cross that line because of the colour of his skin, a skin he didn't choose to be born with, he had broken him a little.
Kevin explained his perspective, and Adam listened and they'd agreed that the moment they started doubting each other either one of them was dead. If that was what this was now then it was going to cause problems. Kevin had to have faith in him and Adam had believe that Kevin only held him accountable for things he could control. His attitude and his beliefs. Adam couldn't change the colour of his skin any more than Kevin could.
What Kevin had no idea about though was exactly what went down between his two best friends. It had taken a good week or so before he realised they weren't hanging out like they usually were. He found Kim in the locker room clutching her phone with tears in her eyes one Friday night. Ruzek had been spending most Fridays with Kim and Makayla, if they were lucky he'd stop by for one beer and would then take off. "What's up? Is it Makayla?"
"No, she's good. She's great." She slipped her phone in her back pocket and started rummaging through her locker and shoving some clothes in her bag. It was time that she took them home and washed them. Little things like this were getting away from her lately. Just functioning on any level as a human, not when she fell into bed every night exhausted and worried about what the next day might bring.
"Burgess." Kevin tilted his head and gave her that look. The look that meant she wasn't getting out of here without giving him some explanation.
"It's nothing Kevin."
"Is it Ruze? What's he done now?"
Kim smiled painfully. That had become apparent to her only recently. Even Trudy asked her that exact same question. "I think that's the problem, that's always the first question anyone asks."
Kevin didn't understand what she meant. "He's feeling sorry for himself lately, ever since that thing with his Dad. Give him time to get that straight in his head."
"Yeah, yeah. That's it." She muttered as she slammed her locker shut and slung her bag over her shoulder. "See you tomorrow Kevin. You are coming to the park aren't you? Makayla is looking forward to it." She patted him on the arm as she squeezed past.
When Adam wasn't at the park the next day Kevin started to worry. "Where's Adam?" Makayla bounded up to him. She had come such a long way in such a short space of time.
Sometimes they came together in the same car, usually after Kev had left his car at the back at the station after he'd gone out drinking the night before. If Adam had no social life beyond hanging out with Kim and Makayla, Kevin was living life for all of them.
"I'm sure he'll be here soon."
Kim shook her head. "Adam's not coming today Makayla, I've already told you this." She instantly regretted the harshness of her response when Makayla looked like she was going to cry. "He's working." She lied to her.
"Adam's not working." Kevin queried her once Makayla was out of earshot.
"I know. He's just not coming."
"Stubborn assed mule." He muttered under his breath. He asked Kim what was going on and the tears in her eyes gave her away. He caught it just before she turned away to watch Makayla climb the jungle gym. She had finally learned not to hover like a vulture waiting for her to fall, Makayla was a strong willed independent little girl. As long as she knew Kim was nearby she was happy to do things on her own.
"Oh, nothing Kev, don't worry, just something I need to sort out. I didn't ask him to come." She lied again.
Kevin knew it wasn't a matter of whether she asked him or not, it was just what they did on a Saturday morning. There was no need to ask, it was a standing invitation. If you weren't working you were at the park with Kim and Makayla. "Why do you push him away all the time?"
"I don't." she crossed her arms defensively.
"Why do you do that all the time too? Get defensive whenever the topic of Ruzek comes up?"
Kim dropped her arms quickly and started to protest and Kev gave her a knowing look and she stopped. "Habit." She offered weakly.
"Then break the habit before you lose him forever."
"What did he tell you?" The defensiveness wasn't easy to drop and even if her arms twitched by her side as she tried desperately not to cross them again.
Kevin smiled his easy smile. "So it is a problem with you and Adam? He's said nothing by the way. Just talks about being betrayed by his Dad."
"Has he heard from Bob?" Kim saw the opportunity to spin it away from her onto another subject.
Kim had asked Adam a couple of times at work and he just shrugged and said 'sure'
Work was awkward, but not in a way that Kim had imagined. Adam was obviously putting space between them personally but professionally it was almost business as usual. He was cheery, polite and would have a laugh when the occasion called for it, he would buy her a coffee, hold the door open for her and happily discuss work.
It was awkward because it was too normal.
On the surface at least. If she tried to talk to him in the locker room he just walked away. He was quick to ride with anyone but her and if he needed to head out and check something he would ask Kevin to join him. He made sure he wasn't alone with her too often and when they were it was always about work.
She wanted to scream and yell, and she wanted him to scream and yell at her, to tell her what to do to fix it, to tell her if she should even try. And she hated that she felt that way.
Kevin had no idea if he'd spoken to his Dad again but he did know that the last time they talked about it he had made it pretty clear he was done with him. What he did know about Adam was he rarely went back on his word, if ever. When he decided to do something he did it. The only exception to that rule was sitting beside him now in abject misery. She was his kryptonite.
"I think Bob's stopped calling." Kevin waved at Makayla at the top of the jungle gym. "You go my little homie." He called out to her. "That's gotta be tough, I mean my old man is a bastard and is quite rightly where he belongs but being betrayed like that, like what Bob did, man that's gotta affect ya." Kim didn't respond so he kept talking. "I mean I had no idea all that bullshit about his old man going to his games was a lie."
"He told me that once but really wanted to remember it the way his Dad told him it went down because that's all he had. He let his Dad live that fantasy because it made Adam feel like he wasn't worthless." Kim's voice shook and she buried her head in her hands and sobbed. "That's all he had and even that's been taken away from him now. He's got nothing. Nothing."
"Kim, Kim." Makayla called out her name. "Come climb with me."
She wiped her face on her sleeve and smiled sadly at Kevin, not giving him a chance to ask what she meant by nothing. He didn't have nothing, he had her and Makayla, whatever that was or would end up being was up in the air. It gnawed at Kevin, something went down yet neither of them were talking.
Kim distracted herself with Makayla who just wanted to have fun and Kevin let her. He watched, he chewed on things and he resolved to figure it out.
Kevin picked up a six pack of beer and just turned up at Adam's door that evening. He banged on it a couple of times. "Open up Ruze. I know you are here. I can hear the game." And waited, knocking again when he didn't hear any movement.
It was such a small apartment, it was like a shoe box and he had no idea how he could live here. It was dark and dingy and the walls were paper thin. It was cheap though and he hadn't spent a lot of time until recently. He was always out, with Kim, with him or catching up with his Academy buddies or old school friends. It was a place to lay his head and for that purpose it was perfect. Now it seemed to have become his cage.
Slowly the door opened. He was expecting to see a dishevelled shell of a man but Adam looked annoyed but not the complete clusterfuck he was expecting. "Persistent aren't you?"
"What you do?"
It was an almost involuntary reaction as he went to slam the door in his face but Kevin was too quick and strong and put his broad frame in the way to stop it closing completely. Adam clenched his fist by his side. "The fuck you say?"
"What you do?"
"Fuck you man, fuck you." He started angrily, his arms flailing and his hair swinging wildly. "Fuck you…." His voice quivered and he couldn't stop the tears that spilled down his cheeks. "I didn't do anything." He spluttered.
Kevin closed the door, setting the beer down on the table and wrapping his arm around his best friend. Seeing Burgess cry was hard to take but he was kinda used to it, over the years he'd seen a lot of them but listening to Ruzek sobbing was like being stabbed in the chest.