Summary: Four years ago, he broke her heart into a hundred pieces, but Bella was over him, she was. She had a good job, the perfect boyfriend; everything in her life was fine. He just had to come crashing back in and ruin everything. ExB.
A/N: Here we go with another one… I've been writing this as OF, but I wanted to share it with you as FF too!
Just a quick note to say, I promise that every single story I start on here, I will try my absolute best to finish – I know some of you are waiting on Fated and Umbra, I haven't forgotten either of them, just bear with me :)
This chapter is unbeta'd – so apologies for any mistakes I've made!
Massive thank you to my bestie, Pearlyfox for pre-reading and encouraging me to post this; she also made this gorgeous banner! ❤️
1
Collision
o-O-o
Bella ran her hand down her dress nervously; the noise emanating from behind the door she stood in front of was a soft hum, voices and music muted by thick wood.
"Aren't we going to go in?"
She turned to her right, meeting light blue eyes. "Of course," she answered hastily, shooting the man next to her a sweet smile.
He ran a hand through his dark hair, his mouth curving up in response.
She wasn't the type to usually stand motionless in front of doors, if such a type existed.
Truthfully, Bella was nervous.
What lay behind the door was the past, neatly packaged into a room full of people, memories simmering under the surface of 'hello's and 'how are you's.
It was Emmett and Rose's engagement party, and she couldn't have turned down an invite to her closest friend's celebration. It's not even that she wanted to turn it down, it was just that she hadn't been back to Atlanta since…
Her eyes burned as she recalled the taste of beer, raised voices and a deep, hollow ache in her chest.
But that was the past now.
So here she was. Or, more aptly, here they were. She glanced at Alec again. He was studying her somewhat impatiently, though he wouldn't voice it.
In the entire year they'd been together, he'd only raised his voice at her twice.
Bella wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans, teetering slightly on the 4-inch heels she'd convinced herself to wear. The chances of him being inside were pretty high.
He was Emmett's brother, after all.
Alec shifted next to her with a sigh. "Sorry," she apologised, biting her lip. He laid a warm hand against her back, his fingers brushing the sliver of skin that lay exposed above her jeans.
"It's okay, I know it's been a while since you've been back here. It's just a little cold," he murmured with a touch of embarrassment.
She glanced at him in surprise. She hadn't noticed, but that had little to do with the weather. As she raised her hand to knock the front door swung open, and just like that, it was 2017 again.
o-O-o
"Bella, finally!" Emmett greeted her.
"Don't panic Em; I brought the stuff." Bella rolled her eyes gesturing to the large carrier bag in her hands.
She'd gotten Jake out of more than one ticket thanks to sweet talking her dad, making her one of the only people in Westbridge able to get away with buying alcohol underage, from Jake's Parents Shop.
"Nice one Bella," a deep, rich voice murmured behind Emmett.
Bella's cheeks tinged pink as Edward stepped out from behind his brother.
His bright green eyes met hers with a playful glint.
Emmett, utterly oblivious to Bella's incapacity to move, grabbed the overflowing bag from her arms and wandered off, leaving her and Edward standing in the doorway.
"Hi," he smirked, glancing to his left and right before stepping into her and placing a kiss on her cheek, his large hand gently squeezing her ass.
A barely concealed moan left her mouth and Edward chuckled throatily.
"Miss me?" He asked in a deep, husky tone that made her squirm.
"Yes," she answered shyly, biting her lip as she breathed in a combination of apples, burnt sugar and cinnamon. His aftershave didn't just smell good to her, it was hot mouths moving together in the dark, strong hands guiding her body over one much larger, whispered pleas and deep groans.
He flashed his teeth in a teasing smile, and she pressed her thighs together, her body reacting to his presence like it always did, a current racing across her skin and heat dancing down her spine.
"Come with me, we've got half an hour before everyone arrives," he said, his eyes growing dark as he watched her mouth.
She followed him, her hand clasped in his.
o-O-o
Bella blinked at the woman standing in front of her. She held a slim phone to her diamond studded ear, her other neatly manicured hand wrapped around the mahogany door handle.
"Oh hello! Coming in?" She asked the couple, flashing them a polite smile. "It's right down the end of the street Maggie!" She suddenly burst out, making the universal gesture for 'I'm on the phone' as she waved Bella and Alec inside.
"Bella! You made it." A cheery voice exclaimed from the stairs.
Alec barely had time to move out the way before his girlfriend was wrapped up in a hug by a tall, dark-haired, muscular, boy.
"Jake! I've missed you," Bella laughed, kissing his cheek.
"Missed you more!" he said with a large smile, turning to face Alec. "Sorry we haven't met, I'm Jake."
Alec cleared his throat awkwardly, holding out his hand. "Alec."
Bella hid a smile as Jake ignored the hand and pulled Alec into a one-armed hug. "Heard a lot about you man."
Alec shrugged, but he looked pleased.
"Did I hear you say Bella?" Rose's soft voice exclaimed, seconds before she appeared in the hallway, her icy blonde hair in waves, crystal blue eyes finding Bella's instantly and lighting up.
Bella flew to her and hugged her tightly, breathing in her vanilla scented perfume.
"Missed you so much. Thank you so much for coming." Rose said in a muffled voice, her face pressed against the other woman's shoulder.
Bella pulled back from her with a question in her eyes.
Rose responded with a soft, sympathetic nod and Bella's chest clenched.
He was here.
o-O-o
Bella shivered as Edward's hand traced up her bare back softly.
They were lying on his bed, facing each other, sheets tangled between sweaty legs.
Edward wasn't staring at her, his gaze was somewhere else, some place she couldn't see. It left her with a rare opportunity to study him freely, so she did.
Her eyes traced his angular jaw and the small white scar above his lip where Emmett had accidentally wacked him on the backswing of a baseball bat. She longed to touch his face, trace her fingers across his full lips and high cheekbones, where his long eyelashes brushed, dense and deep black.
It was his eyes that were the most captivating part of him. Deep, sea green, with small specks of gold that seemed to shimmer in the soft light.
Edward's full lips curved up at the corners and Bella gulped as she realized he was no longer lost in thought, glancing up to find those enchanting green eyes fixed on hers.
"You're so beautiful," she blurted out, regretting speaking the minute the words left her mouth.
He smirked at her and she felt her cheeks heat.
Bella looked down but his large hand caught her head, tilting her chin up with his thumb as he ran the back of his knuckles across her jaw and then her warm cheeks. She shivered, a zing rushing across her skin from his touch.
"You don't need to be embarrassed," he said in a soft tone she hadn't heard him use before.
Her eyebrows creased slightly, and he mirrored the expression.
"We wouldn't be fucking if we weren't attracted to each other," he commented in a slightly rougher tone.
Bella shifted at the term.
It's not like Edward was the first boy she'd been with, that had been Tyler Powell, when she was barely 17.
It was different with Ed. He was different.
Smart, charming, sensitive. He was an attentive lover, always watching her reactions, testing the way his body made her feel, coaxing deeper pleasures than she knew she was capable of, with his hands and his mouth.
But they didn't just fuck, they spent time together, talking, laughing. Sometimes he fell asleep in her bed, his strong arms holding her body against his, his breath warm against the back of her neck.
He was her best friend.
And she was hopelessly in love with him.
But he could never know that.
She knew she should stop it, that it was going to end in tears. He didn't feel that way about her, it was painfully obvious. It was his idea to keep things a secret, to not tell their friends or families, or let anyone at school see them together. He said they wouldn't understand. She shouldn't have gone along with it, she knew that.
The worst part was, she'd probably do it all over again, if she had the chance. Even knowing that she'd end up feeling like this. He was electrifying, magnetic. She felt the pull towards him deep inside her gut.
"What's going on in that beautiful head?" Edward asked as he sat up, stretching his arms over his head.
"Thinking about coursework," Bella lied, her voice surprisingly steady.
"Jesus Swan, you are such a nerd sometimes," Edward teased, smirking at her as he shimmied into a pair of black jeans.
"We can't all get straight A's without trying," she quipped, getting to her feet too.
Edward paused what he was doing to stare at her, and a thrill shot through her body at the raw hunger on his face. She loved that he wanted her like this, that even if he'd never love her, part of him at least was captivated.
His lean muscles rippled as he pulled a shirt over his head, and it was Bella's turn to stare, her eyes feeling heavy as they traced the lean ridges in his torso.
They met each other's gaze across the room and Bella's teeth sunk deeply into her bottom lip as the air between them seemed to heat up, goosebumps spreading across her skin.
Then he was in front of her, tugging her lip from her teeth with his thumb and crashing his mouth to hers hungrily, picking her up by her thighs as he sought her tongue.
"God, I can't take it when you look at me like that." He groaned into her mouth, hand tangling in her thick brown hair as she whimpered his name.
"We don't have time," Bella warned as he dropped them both to the bed, settling in between her legs so she could feel him, thick and hard against the juncture of her thighs.
They both shivered.
Edward growled softly against her mouth and then pulled back with a slight pout. "Can we sneak up here during the party?"
She frowned, "Won't someone notice? I know Irina wanted to spend time with you tonight." She tried to keep the jealously out of her voice, but his frown made her think she'd failed.
"Maybe," was all he said, moving off her body.
Bella went downstairs first.
o-O-o
Rose had met Alec several times before, and Bella took a moment while they greeted each other to try to mentally prepare herself for what was going to happen.
She was going to see him, be in the same room as him.
Bella felt woefully unprepared, her hands feeling clammy again and her vision blurring slightly. She was being completely ridiculous, she knew that. It was ancient history, what had happened. He probably didn't even think about it, about her. That thought made her chest ache and she mentally slapped herself.
She'd moved on. She wasn't in love with him anymore. She wasn't angry with him anymore. She couldn't be.
In her head she rehearsed how the reunion would go. She'd be calm and collected. Oh, Edward? It's been ages! How are you? She'd introduce him to Alec, greet his date if he'd brought one, and then she would walk off to mingle with other people. It would be fine.
Her fingers tapped against each other and she laughed automatically when Alec and Rose did, pretending to be listening.
She wondered how he'd look now, she hadn't let herself go on his social media, and Emmett and Rose barely posted. She knew he'd graduated early from Stanford the year before and was now in Med School, Emmett had let that slip after one too many beers when the pair had visited Bella in Chicago.
"-right babe?" Alec said to her expectantly.
"Yep," she answered confidently, hoping to god that she hadn't just agreed to something ridiculous.
Rose covered up a laugh with a cough and Bella grimaced. Based on that response, she would definitely regret not listening.
Music filtered through the hall, low voices and laughter spreading on top until it all mixed together in a discordant hum. This house was new to Bella, but the red carpet and soft cream walls looked just like Rose's childhood home, and she could see pieces of her friend's everywhere she looked; Emmett's guitar picks framed on the wall, various pictures of him and Rose together, some with all of them. Bella's eyes lingered on a photo of their group at the beach. Edward had his arm loosely around her shoulders, his face alight with laughter, and she was leaning into him, her hand lingering at his thigh. Nobody had known then, what they were to each other. The picture didn't show his other hand, that had rested on her ass, or the light bruising he'd left on her hips when they'd snuck off into the rocks and he'd taken her against one of them, his head buried in her neck, fingers digging into her sides as he coaxed her over the edge twice, then emptied inside of her.
Something sharp twisted under Bella's ribs and she looked away hurriedly; just in time too, because Rose and Alec turned to her then with a questioning expression.
Bella nodded, having no idea what was being asked of her again, and then Rose was leading them down the hall, past more frames that Bella refused to look at and through the spacious, black and white marbled kitchen.
When the three of them walked into the main living space of the house, all eyes went to Bella. She shifted nervously under the attention, her eyes seeking out green without permission.
"Bella! Wow! It's been years." An attractive brunette woman stepped forwards, hugging Bella tightly.
"Angela! It's so great to see you." Bella said honestly, smiling at her old friend. They'd lost touch when Bella had left but not for any malicious reason, just the usual business and lack of time.
Bella introduced her to Alec and Angela beckoned over her boyfriend Sam.
Halfway through Angela's recount of the time Bella managed to injure half of the softball team, Bella felt a shock go through her, goosebumps spreading across her skin.
She tensed immediately and Angela trailed off suddenly. "Oh, hey Edward." She said slightly nervously, glancing behind Bella's head.
The whole room seemed to grow silent, and Bella's eyes burned with embarrassment, her heart suddenly pounding against her rib cage.
She slowly turned, fixing a casual smile on her face.
Her breath caught in her throat as she met deep, sea green eyes.
o-O-o
The party was well underway. Bella narrowly avoided tripping over someone's leg as she made her way over to the large couch where a few of the girls were sitting chatting.
Tightly clasped in her hand was the signature plastic red cup, filled with cheap beer. It was her fifth, and there was a pleasant buzzing in her head.
She gasped as she tripped again, squeezing her eyes shut as she plunged headfirst towards the floor. Strong arms caught her, and she heard Edward's familiar chuckle in her ear as he righted her, his hands resting on her hips.
"You alright there, Swan?" he asked with a teasing smile.
The alcohol in her system made her brave and she returned his smile, biting her lip softly.
"Now I am," she said quietly, so only he would hear her.
His eyes darkened, his hands tightening on her hips for a moment before he gently pushed her away.
The rejection stung more than she was expecting, and she was alarmed to feel tears burning behind her eyes. She turned away from him hurriedly and sat down on the sofa, taking the cup to her lips and gulping down the fizzy liquid as she blinked away the urge to cry.
When the cup finally left her mouth, it was empty, and she was smiling.
"What was all that about Bella?" Jess asked her, raising her eyebrows with a smirk. "Do you have a little crush on Edward? Like he'd go for you…" Hidden underneath her friendly tone was the sharp bite of jealousy, and Bella, who seemed to have lost her filter found herself remarking back with, "Give it up Jess, he's not interested in you."
Jess's face resembled someone who'd been slapped, and her sharp gasp was swiftly followed by the other girl's giggles.
Bella, sensing she'd made a grave error, decided the best course of action would be to abandon ship. Immediately. She mumbled out an apology and then practically threw herself off the couch, searching for Rose.
It turned out that Rose was otherwise engaged and from the loud thumps and groans coming from Emmett's bedroom, so was Emmett.
Bella wandered around for a while, chatting with people, before she ended up standing with Angela and a few others in the hallway of the house, leaning against the wooden bannisters. Though she could be shy, she was feisty when enthused, and she often engaged in the regular banter that occurred between the students. She was well liked, and got on with everyone, though she was by no means popular.
The others were enjoying her filter-less state a little too much and she had them all in tears of laughter.
"Bella!" She stopped laughing abruptly at the sharp tone of Edward's voice and she turned to look at him with a frown.
His green eyes were dark, his eyebrows drawn together and his jaw tight.
He was furious, she realised, her stomach sinking.
What was wrong?
"Did you tell everyone that we're a couple?" he asked angrily.
Bella flushed with embarrassment. "No!" she said hurriedly, "why would I do that?"
"Well, how does everyone in there know we've been fucking then?" he practically growled.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Bella asked, mortified. The others had gone completely silent.
"Jess told me what you said to her, that you and I have been dating for months? That I'm obsessed with you?" he spat. "Why would you fucking tell people that? It's a fucking lie."
Bella stepped towards Edward, her eyes filling with tears. "Edward, I swear I didn't say anything like that. Please believe me, I didn't tell anyone about any of it," she pleaded with him.
"Don't fucking lie to me," he bellowed, storming out of the hall and into the living room. Bella chased him.
"Edward, I didn't say anything!" she cried.
"That's not what you were saying earlier Bella," Jess piped up.
Bella turned to her, blinded by her tears. "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what? I just told Edward what you said…" Jess said in a sickly-sweet voice.
"But I didn't say anything." Bella shouted at her; she was so angry, she was shaking. She turned back to Edward. "Edward, you have to believe me, please."
"How could you fucking lie like that?" Edward asked angrily, stepping towards her.
"What the fuck is going on?" Emmett bellowed from the doorway, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.
Everyone spun to look at him, but he barely noticed.
"Why are you screaming at Bella?" he asked Edward, frowning.
"Edward and Bella have been fucking, and Bella told Jess that they were dating, but Edward's saying that they're not." Tori said, sipping her vodka and coke with ill-concealed excitement.
Emmett's mouth fell open. "You've been…with Bella?"
"Edward, please. Can we go and talk about this?" Bella asked softly, stepping towards him and grabbing his large hands in hers. "I promise I didn't say what she said. I didn't tell her anything."
Edward stared at her. For a second, she thought he might actually listen, but then he looked up, glancing around the room. Suddenly he was shoving her away from him roughly, avoiding her gaze.
He laughed incredulously, "Jesus Christ Bella you're fucking delusional. Yes, we slept together a few times, but it was just sex…it meant nothing to me. I could never like you like that, I would never date you."
Bella flinched. "I-I know."
He shook his head. "Clearly you don't...what the fuck is wrong with you?" he laughed suddenly, a harsh, bitter sound. "It wasn't even that good Bella…"
Bella felt her stomach drop. "What?"
"Wow she's a stage five clinger." Tanya murmured to Jess.
"I mean it. You were just there, and it was easy. It didn't mean anything to me. We weren't even exclusive…"
"Why are you saying these things? Would you just look at me please," Bella choked out, struggling to speak through the tears that were streaming down her face.
"Because they're true." Edward shrugged, ignoring her request. "I fucked you, didn't I Lauren." He turned to smirk at one of the girls standing by Jess.
"Edward, for fucks sake that was supposed to stay between us." Lauren hissed.
There were scattered laughs.
Bella couldn't breathe, there was a gaping hole where her chest was supposed to be.
She knew it had been just sex for him, but she'd thought it had at least meant something. They'd connected, talked about things that she hadn't told anyone. They were friends. At least she thought they were friends. And he'd told her it was just her…She'd been wrong. About so much.
"Aw Bella, you love him don't you," Jess cackled.
"Of course not," Edward snapped. "And I don't fucking love her either it was just se-"
"Edward," Rose said sharply from the doorway, "Stop."
He finally looked up at Bella, but the second those green eyes connected with hers, she looked at the ground, not wanting him to see her cry like this.
She was trembling, sobbing, staring down at the ground and hoping it could swallow her up.
"Bella…." She heard him say, shakily.
"I have to go,' she choked out.
o-O-o
"Hey, Bella," Edward said softly, his deep voice making her body shiver, a tingle run down her spine.
He'd grown even more beautiful, if that was possible; the softness of youth in his face replaced now with sharper, more angular features, dark stubble dusting his strong jaw and upper lip. His pale skin was utterly flawless, the shocking green of his eyes sending her heart lurching up into her rib cage.
The sight of him made her chest ache.
"Edward," Bella said cordially, fixing a fake smile on her face as she looked up at him. "How have you been?"
He swallowed, "Yeah good. You?"
"Great," she said in the same emotionless tone.
Alec cleared his throat, sensing the awkward situation but lacking the context to comment on it.
Bella turned to him then widened her eyes slightly.
"Um, Alec, this is Edward, Emmett's brother. Alec's my boyfriend."
Edward's smile froze slightly as he held out a hand. "Nice to meet you," he said stiffly to the other man.
Alec accepted his hand, but something seemed to transpire between the two men because Alec pulled away sharply, a grimace crossing his face.
"Bella, can we please talk?" Edward said, turning back to Bella. "Privately…"
She wanted to tell him to fuck off, but everyone was watching, and she didn't want to look like she still cared.
She didn't care.
"Um, sure," she said with a sigh.
o-O-o
"Bella, wait!" Rose shouted after her.
Bella was already running from the house, her shoes in her hand. She needed to get out of there. Not just the house, Atlanta. Her mom had called the day before saying she missed her, and she should come visit.
She had to leave. She could go stay in Phoenix with her mom; finish Senior year there. She only had a few credits left to graduate. Then she could go straight to Chicago for college after the summer.
She'd never have to see him again.
The thought brought hot relief and intense pain in her chest. She felt broken, used.
It had all been a lie, the sex, the friendship.
He didn't want her, had never wanted her.
She wanted to be glad that she'd never see him again but even after everything he'd said she still loved him.
She was so deeply, excruciatingly, pathetically in love with him.
o-O-o
"What did you want to talk about?" Bella asked, taking a seat on Rose's desk. They'd gone to the study and in a different circumstance, she'd be admiring the dark, oak furniture and green walls; as it currently stood, she could barely see, her heart racing in her chest at a pace that left her feeling like it was going to explode out; shatter into a million pieces.
Edward was standing by the door, his green eyes fixed on her.
It had been almost four years since she had stood in the same room as him, and the effects were just as intense as they had been then, her body painfully aware of his, across the room.
His eyes slowly slid down her legs and then back up to her face; his slow perusal of her set her heart pounding, a wave of heat rushing down her body and her nipples hardening against the satin of her top. She hated that he still had this effect on her.
"I wanted-needed… to apologise," he said finally, running a hand through his thick brown hair. It was a new habit and she studied him curiously.
His hair was longer, more…tousled.
It looked good.
He looked good.
His words registered and she swallowed heavily. "Let's leave the past in the past Edward. We're all good."
He shook his head at her, and when his eyes met hers, they were angry. "No. We're not."
Bella frowned at him, feeling exasperated. "I'm not doing this with you again Edward. You didn't want to listen to me back then, I'm not going to-"
"I know Jess lied; I was a fucking asshole." Edward cut in, holding his hand up to her.
She cocked her head at him. "I…um…"
He breathed out angrily, "That night, what I said…I'm so…fuck Bella. I've done this so many times in my head and it's so much harder than I…"
Bella placed her hands on the desk beside her, squeezing it until her knuckles went white.
"Look you were a huge asshole," she said with a sigh, "and I wish you'd have just told me in private how you felt, or I don't know…made it clearer that you were sleeping with other people, but it all worked out okay Edward. I'm fine, and you seem to be fine. We don't need to rehash it."
"Yes, we do," he said intently. "Bella, the things I said, I was fucking lying."
"What?" She stared at him bewildered.
Edward ran a hand through his hair again, letting out a frustrated sound. 'You don't understand what I was…I came into the room and everyone was talking about how I'd 'hit that' with you, and asking me how good you were in bed, then Jess told me you'd told them all that we were a couple and that I was in love with you and…I was so fucking pissed at you, for…I didn't want them to know about us…"
Bella started to interrupt him, but he shook his head at her. "And that was my fucking bad Bella; I was a prick and I cared way too much about what stupid high school kids thought. The funny thing was, they didn't even fucking care, I was so fucking stupid. I just wanted them to know it wasn't true, and so I said…those things."
He looked up, his eyes burning into hers. "But… I didn't mean them. I did sleep with Lauren, but it was before you and I- before the first time, and then it was just you, I swear. And I did-I do care about you; I was just scared of…fuck. I'm so sorry. I don't what else I can fucking say. I'm sorry."
Bella stared at him for a moment, trying to process what he was telling her.
"Why didn't you…when did…"
He swallowed, "I showed up at your house the next day but you'd already fucking…gone. Bella after I saw your face…I knew I'd fucked up. I wanted to go after you, but Emmett decked me so hard I blacked out."
Bella widened her eyes, "He punched you?"
Edward shook his head at her. "I deserved it. I think if he hadn't done it, Rose would have. She was fucking furious with me." He stepped closer to her. "Bella when you left, I was…I missed you, so fucking much."
She closed her eyes, pressing her hand to her head as she fought the urge to cry, "Why are you telling me this now? What's the point?"
His warm hand gently gripped hers and moved it from her face. She stared up at him. He was right in front of her now. So, close she could feel the heat of his body.
"Did you love me?" he asked her, those intense, sea-green eyes burning into hers.
Bella floundered. "I…" She started to say no, but then decided to just get it all out in the open. "I did," she breathed out, "but I knew what it was and that you didn't feel that way, even before the whole Jess thing. So, no hard feelings."
Edward nodded slowly, "I was such a fucking idiot."
Bella sighed. "It doesn't matter anymore. Thank you for apologising, but I'm over it. It doesn't make a difference if you meant it or not."
She started to move off the desk, but Edward's hand came to rest on her waist gently, stopping her.
Bella desperately tried to ignore the way heat spread from the spot he was touching, traitorous goosebumps rising across her skin.
"Does it make a difference if I tell you that I loved you too?"
Her heart dropped in her chest.
Bella's eyes burned with unshed tears. "No," she said forcefully.
Edward's expression made her chest ache. "How about…" he swallowed, his eyes scorching hers with their intensity, "how about if I tell you that I'm still in love with you. That I never stopped. That I think about you every fucking day."
Bella stared at him for a second, then shoved him away from her angrily.
"Are you fucking kidding me? What game are you trying to play Edward?"
He shook his head at her, his jaw twitching. "I'm not playing a game. I'm telling you the truth."
"Well, I don't believe you," Bella hissed. "How does that feel by the way?"
"I deserve that," Edward said quietly.
She tore at her hair, "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I love you, and I need you to know. Bella, is there even the smallest part of you that still feels something for me, anything for me?"
"No." Bella snapped. "I feel nothing for you."
Edward's face fell but he looked resigned. "That's nothing more than I deserve. I'm sorry to have sprung this on you."
He started to leave, and Bella found herself reaching forward and grabbing his arm, stopping him. Her heart jumped in her chest at the feel of the solid muscle under her palm.
"Why didn't you…why didn't you call? You could have…called or emailed or…"
Edward breathed out slowly. "I…Bella I wanted to call you so many fucking times. I stole Emmett's phone and got your number, wrote hundreds of messages and never sent them. I even tried to call a few times…and then I just…chickened out. I didn't know what to fucking say to you. I still…don't. But seeing you I just…I had to tell you."
The incredulity of what he was saying to her suddenly struck Bella and she was alarmed to find her vision blurring with tears.
One broke the barrier of her eyelid and started to make its way down her cheek when she was wrapped up in strong, familiar arms. Edward's large body totally engulfed hers, his hands gently stroking up her back. "I'm so fucking sorry,' he murmured in her ear. "I'm so sorry. Telling you was selfish of me. You deserve to be happy and in love and I hope this Alec guy treats you well and doesn't fuck up and lose you, like I did."
Bella gripped his shirt in her hands, closing her eyes and letting the tears fall. She didn't think she had any left to spill over him, but she'd been wrong.
Being in arms felt so good, so right and familiar.
Her tears stopped, but she didn't let go of him, holding his muscular body tightly to hers.
God, she'd missed him. Missed the comfort his arms brought her, the way her head fit perfectly against his strong chest, how small she felt against him.
He was so warm, his skin burning through his clothes, where he was pressing against her.
"Fuck, I missed you so much." Edward breathed into her hair, echoing her thoughts.
"I missed you too," Bella admitted, her voice barely a whisper.
Edward's hand shifted against her back, and suddenly his large, burning palm was pressing right against her bare skin.
She felt like he'd electrocuted her, her whole body trembling at the feel of his warm fingers.
She couldn't help but compare it to how it felt when Alec did it. She'd barely even noticed Alec's hand on her body, but Edward's touch lit her up from the inside, making the space between her legs throb.
"Are you cold?" Edward asked her in a deep voice that made her shiver again.
"No." Bella breathed out against his neck. It was his turn to shiver, and she felt a sick thrill go through her body.
He'd lied, he had wanted her. He still wanted her.
Her breath caught in her chest as his thumb smoothed gently across her back, the stroke of his bare skin against hers making her panties instantly damp.
God, she wanted him. Just as badly as she had when they were eighteen.
"You are so fucking beautiful," Edward murmured in her ear.
The way his voice wrapped around the word fuck, caused something in the pit of her stomach to ache and she extricated herself from his arms, breathing heavily.
He stared at her with dark eyes and her teeth sunk into her bottom lip automatically. His gaze dropped and he licked his lips, his breathing picking up, his chest rising and falling a touch too quickly.
"I'm um…we should go back out there." Bella said, trying to steady her breathing.
"Yeah," Edward said throatily, his eyes still fixated on her mouth.
The ache deepened.
A burning, forbidden desire to press her lips to his, built in her belly.
She remembered the feel of his naked body against hers, the delicious weight of him on top of her as his cock lay heavy and hard at the entrance to her sex; his low groans in her ear as he filled her, the drag of him deep inside of her.
She sometimes thought about it when she was with Alec, even just the memory of Edward quickening her orgasm and leaving her shaking in her boyfriend's arms, guilt flooding her sweaty body.
Edward swallowed and her gaze dropped to his Adam's apple, hunger flooding her as she followed it down to his broad chest, a slither of bare skin peeking through the gap in his shirt buttons, teasing her.
Her thighs squeezed together, her heart racing in her chest. She felt totally out of control and he wasn't even touching her.
The air between them felt thick; hot and heavy with desire. She could smell his aftershave, and the undercurrent of something muskier, that pure Edward smell that made her nipples harden and arousal flood between her legs.
It had never been that way with anyone but him. She'd never felt such a deep, all-consuming attraction to another man.
"Bella," Edward growled in warning, his voice sinfully deep.
Her eyes flew up to his and she choked, her body arching.
The expression on his face was pure hunger, those emerald eyes scorching her. "How can you expect me to believe you feel nothing for me, when you look at me like that?" he hissed.
Bella's pulse pounded between her legs and she inhaled shakily, crossing her arms across her body just to touch something, because she was terrified that she'd reach out and touch him.
She couldn't. She had a boyfriend. She had…
"Alec," she said suddenly, the thought horribly sobering.
What the fuck was she doing? Edward had hurt her more than anyone in the world, broken her. It had taken her years to even kiss another man, let alone have sex with him.
Edward's eyes narrowed, his features darkening all of a sudden, then stepped away from her.
"You'd better get back to your boyfriend," he said in a voice that would have sounded pleasant, if not for the tightness of his jaw and the way his vibrant green eyes flashed.
She wanted to yell at him. To scream at him for hurting her. To tell him he had no right to be jealous, that he'd broken her heart, ruined her for anyone but him.
But that would show him that she still cared.
And she couldn't let him have that power over her.
Bella swallowed and nodded, stepping out of the door he held open, desperately trying to ignore the way her nipples ached as she brushed past his burning body.
Every single eye was fixed on Edward and Bella as they stepped into the living room.
Bella had been expecting it, and apparently Edward had too, both of them wearing casual, nonchalant smiles.
"Great to catch up," Bella said breezily, hating the way her whole body thrummed with energy, just looking up into his green eyes.
"Of course," Edward said in the same tone, the corners of his mouth turning up in an easy smile.
Alec walked up to her, wrapping his arm around her waist and Bella sighed at his touch. His hands felt so wrong on her compared to Edward's, and she despised herself for even thinking that way.
Alec was the kind of man that every woman wanted as their boyfriend, probably even as their husband. He was intelligent, sweet, caring. He put her first most of the time, always considered her feelings, really listened to her when she spoke. Both of her parents adored him and so did all her friends. He had a great job and a nice apartment in the city that they shared together. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him at all, except for one, stupid, and frustrating fact, which she desperately wished she could ignore.
He wasn't Edward.
"What was all that about?" Alec asked her quietly, his mouth brushing her ear.
"Nothing. Just…we fought, when I left, and he wanted to apologise," Bella said, turning in his arms to look into his bottomless blue eyes.
She willed her heart to flutter in her chest like it did for Edward, or for her body to heat up and her skin to tingle with desire. But all she felt as she looked up at her boyfriend was guilt.
Alec's warm mouth brushed hers gently and her skin erupted in goosebumps, not from his kiss, but from the feel of emerald eyes burning into her back.
She hated him for making her feel like this. Two seconds alone with him and he'd reduced her back to panting over him like a dog.
Her resolve hardened and she ignored him for the rest of the evening, trying to focus on introducing Alec to her school friends and celebrating with Rose and Emmett.
She'd only have to put up with him once more, at the wedding in eight months. After that, she vowed she would never see Edward Cullen again.
A/N: Let me know what you're thinking! I'll be posting on Thursdays. Come and join the Facebook group, Creaatingmadness for early teasers for the chapters, picspiration and just to chat – I love talking to you guys and hearing what you think :)
I have another main WIP at the moment – Wicked Games – go check that out if you haven't already! I also just posted a very steamy short story, featuring a teacherward, called 'Teasing Mr. Cullen'.
As always, if you did enjoy, don't forget to leave me a review :)
See you in the next one,
Ella xx