Sting chose to launch his plan in the afternoon, when those who needed jobs to pay rent or—for those who lived on the upper floors of the guild—dues were likely to be gone. The remaining wizards, Sting reasoned, would not be hindered in the long run by Sting's prank. There were no Guild inspections, no Guild Master meetings, and no pressing matters to attend to, either. Absolutely nothing to make the day Sting planned backfire in anyway.
This was going to be hilarious!
"Sting, it's here!" Lector cheered, waving a package as he flew around the entrance.
"Yes!" Sting bolted from his seat, meeting Lector halfway before they danced around in the middle of the guild with their diabolical prize. "It's finally here!"
It wasn't long before Frosch flew around the two, clueless to their intentions but overjoyed all the same. "Fro is happy too!"
"Mind sharing what you got there, Sting?" Orga called, momentarily distracted from his game of darts. At that moment a dart flew over Orga's hair in a downward angle, barely missing his scalp before hitting the bull's-eye. Scowling, the God Slayer whirled around and yelled to the shooter perched in his window up on high, "Show-off!"
"Come now, Orga. You can't deny his aim is impeccable," Minerva chided.
"According to my memories, it's not often that you're excited over the mail," Rufus noted as Sting tore apart the wrapping.
"That's because it's not everyday that a chocolatier completes a special order." No longer hidden under wraps, Sting held an elaborate box tied neatly with a ribbon that was quickly undone. Sting set the box on a nearby table and lifted the lid. "Ta-da~!" Sting practically sang.
"Candies!" Frosch gushed.
"Chocolate animals?" Rogue wondered, joining the gathering crowd inspecting the chocolate box. There were numerous pieces inside, possibly enough for each person to have one if Sting wanted to share his bounty. Rogue was more focused on the design of the chocolates, each one meticulously shaped into various animals. A turtle poking its head out of a swirled chocolate and amber shell. A rabbit curled up with its ears pointing backwards. A pair of white chocolate doves. Rogue spotted two of what looked like hedgehogs, one covered in nuts and the other layered with thin white chocolate drizzles.
"The craftsmanship is remarkable," Rufus admired. "It almost seems like a shame to eat them."
"Did the chocolatier include a flavor list?" Minerva asked.
"No," Sting lied morosely, not mentioning the fact that the flavor guide that used to be under the lid was now tucked into his back pocket. "But he said it would be more fun for us to find out!" he added, plucking a chocolate out of the box. "Take one, guys!"
At Sting's invitation, the mages of Saber Tooth took a piece of chocolate. Most simply popped it right into their mouths while some took a bite.
"The turtle has caramel!" Someone chimed.
"I think I got toffee!"
"I have a praline," Minerva said, finishing the other half of her piece.
"A parrot with peppermint filling. How interesting," Rufus reported.
"For a monkey, mine's pretty nutty," Spit Fire announced, swallowing his candy. "I expected banan—hah!" With a high-pitched screech, Spit Fire disappeared under a cloud of white smoke.
Casting a wide-eyed look at the candy box, Rufus rounded on a grinning Sting. "What did you—?" Before he could finish his sentence, Rufus also went under a smoke cover. One by one, each of the mages who had a piece of chocolate vanished under a cover of smoke that faded as quickly as it came.
Standing on top of the table next to the box that started it all, a black rooster looked down at himself before crowing at Sting.
Unable to hold it in any longer, the White Dragon Slayer doubled over and howled hysterically. "I can't believe you got the chicken, Rogue! This is priceless!"
Clearly infuriated and annoyed, Rogue used his new form to peck at Sting's hand. "Ow! Get a grip, Rogue! It's April Fool's—gah!" Sting was forced to run after Rogue managed to fly high enough to dig his newly clawed feet into Sting's shoulder.
Rogue wasn't the only one who wasn't amused by his new form. The menagerie that was now Saber Tooth chased after Sting, who laughed at the top of his lungs as though a horde of rightly pissed off animals wasn't determined to trample him. Lector swooped in and lifted Sting off the ground just as three porcupine quills grazed his boot. Sting was still cackling as Lector carried him high above the menagerie. "I can't believe I got them all!" Sting gasped, wiping a tear that escaped against his control. "This calls for a treat!"
Without a second thought, Sting popped the candy he'd held in his vest pocket into his mouth. Lector nearly dropped his partner in flabbergasted horror. "Sting!"
"What?" Sting asked. As soon as the taste of chocolate and nuts slid down his throat, Sting's face paled. "Crap."
That was his only word before the mastermind of the shenanigan exploded in a white smoke cloud. Lector's hold on Sting vanished and something small began to fall towards the waiting horde. The red Exceed dived after the small creature, catching what became of Sting before a gorilla could nab him. "Ow! Don't worry, Sting—ow! I've got you!" It was Lector's turn to flee from the Saber Tooth menagerie, but it was difficult to fly while juggling a tiny creature in an attempt to avoid hurting his paws. "Frosch, help me!"
The frog-suited Exceed stared at the empty chocolate box blankly. He looked at the stampeding herd, his eyes filling with tears. "Fro wanted to be a frog!" he cried.
"Frosch!"
Yukino was on her way back from the market, carrying a crate full of groceries. Judging by the ingredients the guild cooks asked her to buy, it looked like they were planning on stew or roast for dinner.
The Celestial Spirit wizard pushed open the doors to the guild. "I'm back!"
"Hoot-hah!"
"Ba-cawk!"
"Me-yow!"
"Yukino!"
Yukino frowned in confusion at the cacophony of animal calls that greeted her and immediately startled when she heard an actual lion's roar. Lector sped towards her, juggling what looked like an albino hedgehog like a hot potato. "Lector! Frosch! What happened?" Yukino exclaimed, dropping the crate to take the hedgehog into her hands as a crowd of various animals surrounded her. "Where is everyone?"
"They're right here!" Lector cried, flying over the menagerie. "Everyone's still here! They all turned into animals!"
"Fro wanted to be a frog!"
"What?!" Yukino stared wildly at the sea of animals that gathered around her. "Where's Sting?"
Lector scratched his head nervously while the lion Yukino had heard earlier growled at the hedgehog in her hands. Instinctively she held it high above her and away from the lion. An odd realization made Yukino lower her hands to bring the hedgehog to eye level. It shivered and curled up in a ball of spines, but Yukino could make out an unusual pair of blue eyes on the hedgehog. "Sting?" she gasped.
The lion roared. A monkey hooted. A cat yowled. All while the albino hedgehog nuzzled her palm with his nose in what seemed like an attempt to nod.
"I left for the market two hours ago," Yukino marveled, walking away from the doorway with Sting cradled in her hands. Behind herself, she heard her guild-mates-turned-animals following her as she sat down at an abandoned table. "How did this happen?"
A red and gold parrot flew towards her carrying an empty chocolate box in its claws and a piece of paper in its beak. "Sting decided to graciously offer us enchanted chocolates," it explained in a man's voice once he dropped the paper from his beak. The parrot nudged the paper towards Yukino. "This fell out of his pocket after he foolishly ate one as well."
"Thank you, Rufus." Yukino was about to unfold the paper when her head whipped towards the parrot. "Rufus?!"
"Yes," Rufus' voice came out of the parrot. "I'm glad you were able to recognize me, Yukino."
"Can anyone else speak?"
"No," Rufus admitted. "The magic within the chocolates seems to prevent us from communicating as we normally do. Fortunately for me, the parrot happens to be one of the few creatures capable of forming human speech, " he added, a smug glint in his eyes.
Yukino sweat nervously as she unfolded the paper, reading over the list of chocolates. "Since you're a parrot, that means you had the Peppermint Parrot," she said aloud. Thankfully someone was trying to solve the daily crossword, allowing Yukino to use a pen to write Rufus' name next to the offending candy's name.
"That's correct."
"Sting is obviously the Hedgehog Cluster," she continued, adding Sting's name to the list. "Do you remember who ate what piece, Rufus?"
"Of course." Rufus puffed out his feathered chest. "Before he ate his own piece, Sting laughed at Rogue's transformation as a chicken."
"A what?!" On cue, a black rooster jumped onto the table, giving Sting the hedgehog an evil glare before stooping down to peck him. Sting's response was to curl up into a ball of spikes again, to which the rooster used his clawed feet to nudge him. Sting rolled across the table and the rooster took delight in kicking Sting around like a ball. "That's enough, Rogue!" Yukino scolded, scooping Sting into her hands and balancing him on her shoulder. "That makes you the Chicken Confetto."
Rogue clucked softly, still glaring at the hedgehog.
"Next on the list is—" A fireball brushed past Yukino, making Sting hiss as he lost his balance and tumbled onto her lap. "Spit Fire!" Yukino chided, whirling in her seat to look at a small black monkey holding a ball of flame in its hand. "Spit Fire?" she repeated, surprised not just by how easily she recognized him, but also because he could use magic in his new form.
"Spit Fire did mention that he had a monkey with a nutty flavor," Rufus noted. "Which stands to reason that he had the Monkey Marzipan."
"Put those down, Spit Fire," Yukino warned as the monkey plucked quills menacingly from an unusually green porcupine. "Wait a minute..." It was just a hunch, but that coat of green quills almost resembled a certain God Slayer's hair. "Orga?"
The porcupine grunted. "The resemblance is uncanny," the parrot beside her agreed. "Without my memories, you've already narrowed him as the Porcupine Parfait."
Yukino decided not to say out loud that she expected Orga to have eaten the Gorilla Ganache, which was actually the piece one of the cooks had eaten. Despite their transformation into animals, half of the guild managed to retain a key characteristic to help identify who they were easily. It took only one look at a purple peacock brooding beside Rogue to know that Minerva had eaten the Peacock Praline. Thankfully there hadn't been a Dragon chocolate, though the Lemon Cream Lion was certainly cutting it close to out of hand.
"Which one did Dobengal eat?" Yukino asked after half of the animals/guild wizards were identified.
"I can't say," Rufus confessed, deflating. "I'm ashamed to admit I didn't see which piece he grabbed."
"Hm..." A lizard, a turtle, and a brown rabbit met her gaze expectantly, though Yukino returned the lizard's stare. This was way too obvious, but... "Dobengal?"
The lizard instantly turned a shade of red before fading out of view. "That's him," Yukino and Rufus chimed. The Celestial Spirit wizard marked off the ninja's name next to the Chameleon Cream.
The rabbit sneezed, drawing Yukino's attention to it. "I know you had the Hazelnut Bun-Bon," she confessed, "but I don't know who you are."
The only answer the rabbit gave her was another sneeze.
"You've already done a splendid job of identifying us," Rufus consoled. "And I carry fault for not keeping track of everyone as well."
Yukino sighed in defeat. "Well, all we can do now is wait for the chocolates to wear off." A gurgling sound erupted from the guild, causing Yukino to look at the clock. "I should get started on dinner," she said, getting up from her seat.
"By yourself?" Rufus squawked, flying after her.
"We don't know how long the transformation will last, but everyone will be hungry by then." Yukino turned around to look at the menagerie. "The rest of you, behave. And don't pick on Sting while I'm gone," she warned. Several calls of dissent emerged from the guild. The hedgehog trembled in its place, making Lector pick up Sting in an effort to protect him from the herd.
When Yukino and Rufus entered the kitchen, they were surprised to see the gorilla and a pair of doves in the kitchen. The doves flew about carrying small ingredients and tools while the gorilla donned an apron and was washing his hands. "This feels like something out of a storybook," Yukino admitted.
"Indeed," Rufus chimed.
Just as Yukino suspected, the gorilla had a pot boiling over the fire for a stew. The doves ushered her towards the vegetables, which Yukino took as a sign to chop them. By the time Yukino had her own apron on, the brown rabbit sat on the counter next to the cookbook. "When did you get here?" she wondered.
The rabbit turned away from her to sneeze again, mindful of the vegetables on the cutting board. Unable to help herself, Yukino couldn't help but stroke the rabbit's ears. Immediately her guild mate stiffened, clearly taken back. "Sorry," she apologized sheepishly.
Once she washed her hands, Yukino returned to the task at large. As she chopped vegetables, she looked up every once in a while to check on the rabbit—judging by the reaction earlier, Yukino suspected the rabbit was one of her male guild mates. He looked like he was starting to doze off, lulled by the repetitive sound of the knife cutting through vegetables.
Everything was going well until the doves tried to carry a basket together. One of them lost their grip on one side of the basket, causing several kitchen tools to tumble out onto the counter where Yukino worked. The clatter of metal immediately woke the rabbit, his eyes wide in alarm as he scrambled away from each falling item. Yukino lunged to catch the falling knife at the same time a ghastly screech alerted her to the rabbit who fell off the counter.
Yukino shrieked and rushed to her guild mate on the floor. As much as she wanted to check on him immediately, Yukino knew the infirmary was a safer place to do so than the kitchen. Especially when the magic in the chocolates wore off.
The infirmary was a new addition to the guild, as Jiemma believed that bearing visible wounds inside the guild hall was one of many signs of weakness. When Sting took over, he agreed to build the suggested infirmary connected to the kitchen.
The rabbit never stirred, not even when Yukino placed him on one of the beds. It shouldn't have bothered her and the enchantment was only temporary, but rabbits were prone to dying of fright. Part of her worried that her guild mate had—
The rabbit didn't even twitch at the loud poofs out in the main hall. Against her better judgement, Yukino went over to the door to check on the commotion outside.
Rogue, who was in the middle of kicking Sting like a ball again, stumbled mid-kick as he transformed back into a human. The monkey, who had been riding atop the lion while holding Orga's quills to throw at Sting, fell off the lion's back when the latter shifted back. His celebration was short-lived when Spit Fire landed on top of him, shaking his messy black hair as he scratched it with a gloved hand. Orga, who had followed along Spit Fire and the lion—likely to provide the former with more ammunition—rolled across the floor and knocked a table over. The God Slayer groaned as he rubbed his head.
Lector took the chance to scoop Sting into his hands, only to lose his hold when Sting changed back as well. "Sorry, Lector!"
"STING!"
Yukino sweat nervously at the brawl that broke out in the main hall, escalating in intensity as more and more wizards changed back into their proper human forms. The cat pounced on Sting, tackling him when he morphed back. The turtle who hid in his shell when Spit Fire shot a fire ball at Sting reverted into a man curled into a defensive position. Even Dobengal, who had been lounging in a sunspot on the table earlier, leaped onto Sting's hair and succeeded in putting him in a headlock when he transformed back into not Dobengal.
Yukino blinked, dumbfounded as she processed the fact that the ninja hadn't been the chameleon like she expected. But everyone out in the main hall was back to normal and Dobengal wasn't in his usual window seat high above. She wondered if he had retreated to his room following his transformation—that possibility was certainly believable. The Celestial Spirit wizard began to walk back to the connected kitchen, passing the ninja on the way as she did—
Wait, what?
It took everything Yukino had to not gasp when she saw that in the rabbit's place, Dobengal lay unconscious on the infirmary bed.
No wonder he kept sneezing! He was allergic to himself! Yukino thought to herself. Not only that, she had to apologize to the victim of the Chameleon Cream for mistakenly identifying him as the wrong mage.
His mask had to have fallen off after the initial transformation, but Yukino cared little for the ninja's face save for a bruise on his right cheek that he gained when he fell. She watched for a shift in body movement, terror growing in her own chest when the ninja didn't so much as inhale. Yukino placed a hand on his chest, desperate for a sign of life.
Three seconds...five...suddenly Yukino heard a faint exhale and a subtle drop from Dobengal's chest. Yukino removed her hand and sighed in relief quietly.
"Oi, Yukino!" The mage in question looked up as Hugo poked his head into the infirmary, wearing the same apron he wore as a gorilla. "You mind helping serve up dinner? Everybody else is trying to kill Sting."