"No home is forever."

-Baphomet, Nightbreed

High school was long ago, and they always told us that time changes people. But, sometimes, the moments that you felt the happiest? The moments that changed you and made you better? Those are the ones that remain. Unfortunately, with those moments that were the shiniest and best also came with the deepest of hurts. If you have perfect recollection, you never forget the pain of such a loss.

When someone must have an amputation, they feel phantom pains for a long time after losing their limb. Sometimes forever. When someone gives up pieces of themselves to others, losing them- severing them- may cause phantom pains of a different kind. And that was why she wanted to come back, even after everything. It was just that there were pieces of her left behind- and she wanted to see if she could find a few to make her feel more whole. To feel more like herself. Because Ingrid hadn't felt like herself in ages. Old wounds still felt fresh and always stung when she tried to look at them, trying to believe that someday they would hurt less.

Her plan had been to wait until her black hair grew back in so she could feel like Ingrid Third again. She had been a redhead for so long, but it never felt *right* so she had been growing it, knowing that the time was near that she would be free again. With long hair dyed so much, she just wanted her hair to be healthy and shiny ebony again. But, with barely an inch of her roots had grown out, Ingrid had gotten restless.

It was at 12 AM when she decided to leave. Ingrid knew she wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. Ingrid found herself dressed in a simple black outfit, packing up some clean clothes and stuffing them in a vintage suitcase. She snuck to the bathroom to grab toiletries when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

She barely recognized the reflection. Ingrid brought her hand to her partly-washed-out cherry red hair, which looked especially light and orangey near her split ends. The inch of black hair at her roots was healthy and shiny but didn't exactly compliment the rest of her rat's nest.

Ingrid crept back to her room, fishing a black beanie from her gothic vanity, and covered her head with it. Her orange split-end bangs stuck out like old broom bristles. She fiddled with them a little until she gave up, slipping a comb into her bag as well as a brush.

She was going to drive. There were fourteen hours from New York to Minnesota so she figured that would give her ample time to figure out what to say. She grabbed her bag, heading down the hallway. She passed her father's room, hearing his gentle snoring. It was good for him to sleep; she knew better than anyone how tired her family was. Ingrid wound around the hallway, turning a corner to see that the kitchen light was on. She paused before slipping into the lit room.

Ariella was at the stove, stirring something in a pot and turned away from her. Ingrid cleared her throat, trying not to scare her sister, but Ariella jumped anyway. Whirling around, she instantly sobered seeing Ingrid, putting a hand over her heart.

"Ingrid, you startled me," her eyes darted down to the bag Ingrid held, a knowing look passing over her face. "Are you going?"

Ingrid felt a little guilty, "Yeah, I need to."

Ariella got a couple mugs from the cupboard, "Good thing I made enough cocoa for two, then."

Ingrid wondered silently if Ariella had sensed Ingrid's restlessness, "I actually wanted to-"

Ariella sat down at the table, putting a mug opposite her, "Come on, if you talk to me a little, you can go, I promise."

Ingrid looked at the chair opposite her sister, her heart pounding. She was afraid of Ariella asking too many logical questions to end the conversation with Ingrid's hopes broken. For a moment, she thought about booking it to the door, but she sighed instead and sat at the seat. Ingrid glued her eyes into the mug, the hot chocolate's foam reminding her of years past, remembering a girl with a smile that hadn't been broken.

Ariella was quiet for the first few sips. Finally, she put her mug down, looking hard into her sister's eyes. "Are you sure you want to go now?"

Ingrid took a drink, even though the cocoa was a little too hot and burned her mouth a little. Putting it down, she kept her gaze on the circle of chocolate in her mug. The whole time she felt Ariella's sharp gaze steady, not giving even the slightest glimpse away from her sister.

Ingrid sighed, still not looking up. "Ariella, please don't try to stop me." She turned the mug in her hands, creating a small spiral of cocoa inside. "I need closure; you were in college and focused on your studies; I left-" she cut off again, drinking more of the cocoa. Though it wasn't too hot any more, she still felt the strange numbness and sensitivity in her mouth from the burn, "I let a lot of people down, and what's worse is that I couldn't even say why," Her brow furrowed, "I couldn't get to say goodbye, either."

Ariella was still and quiet for a moment, watching her younger sister with a serious stare. Suddenly, she swiveled her head, bringing the cup to her lips, staring out the window into the cold November night. After a thoughtful moment, she swallowed. "Okay. I knew you wanted to, but I don't want you to get too many hopes up after so long." Ariella took a few more drinks. Ingrid did, too, but she drank to satisfy her sister.

"I know, but I think it will help, nonetheless. It would at least be better to know than to remain in the dark forever," Ingrid finished her drink, pushing it forward to signal to her sister that she was still going, "I want closure more than anything else."

"Sounds reasonable," Ariella shrugged, and took two more gulps, finishing off her cocoa.

Ingrid got up, picking her bag from the floor. She eyed Ariella, who grabbed both mugs, nodding gently.

She put cups into the sink, "At least take some snacks for the road." Ariella began sweeping through the kitchen, grabbing various things from the cupboards. Trail mix, apples, some candy bars with nuts, and a few of her daughter's juice boxes and two water bottles. She did it so quickly that it reminded Ingrid how motherhood suited her sister, even though they hadn't had one to teach her.

As Ariella gathered the food for the lunchbox, Ingrid grabbed a black shoulder bag near the door and checked inside to make sure her laptop and all its accessories were in it. She shouldered it, also picking up her old suitcase.

Ariella pulled out a blue lunchbox that zipped shut. It actually surprised Ingrid how all of the snacks fit in, like a Tetris game. Ingrid slipped on her combat boots, not bothering to lace them up. Ariella slipped the lunchbox's handle onto Ingrid's hand, smiling softly.

"I hope you find what you're looking for," her voice was sad. Ingrid wondered if her sister pitied her: a smart, young woman chasing the dream of her teenage self. "I'll let Dad know; call us when you get there. You have a place to stay?"

"I'm renting a B&B near our old neighborhood; I have it for a week. I'll call."

Ariella looked her sister up and down. "Do you have a coat?"

Ingrid nodded, smirking at Ariella's motherly protectiveness, "Dad's old leather one, I left it in the car."

Ariella grabbed Ingrid, holding her in a tight embrace, "Be safe. I love you."

Ingrid hugged her back. They separated, and Ingrid walked out, not looking back. She tossed her things into the back seat of her silver Corolla. Once in the driver's seat, she felt a rush of anxiety. It was good that it was at least a seventeen-hour drive, because Ingrid needed to marinate on her thoughts and feelings. What was she going to try and do? What was she going to say? What could she say?

Ingrid turned key and the car started. Her stomach dropped, and she worried if what she was feeling was the excitement for a new start, or the anxiety of losing something she'd held onto forever.

A/N: Ah, it's been a long time. I will always love the Fillmore! cartoon, but I will also be forever sad over its cancellation. Anyway, here's an idea I've had for a while. Maybe I will follow through with it. The rating may change, depending how it goes. Anyway, I hope this is a good start. I'll put another chapter up soon, in the meantime, someone wants to be a beta reader for me, send a message my way.