CHRISKA SLEFIES SEJFOSHFOU ANYWAYS THERE'S THIS GTG

I'm done.

I don't want you in my life anymore.

I never want to see you again.

The call came in at 11:43. She doesn't even remember leaving her apartment, frantically asking her neighbor to keep an eye on a sleeping Noah. She doesn't even remember the address she was given, but is forced to trust her body to get her there because her mind is everywhere but. She only remembers the words that are recycling in her head.

Elliot. Car. Explosion. Unidentified body. Elliot.

She glances at the time and it reads 11:51. There's no air to breathe. She knows she should not be driving in the state that she's in, but she needs to get there and soon. Her world is coming to a crash. It couldn't be him. She just needs to get there and make sure that it's not him. That there's been this huge mix up.

Elliot.

She can't differentiate between the tears that are pouring from her eyes and the rain pouring down from the sky. All she knows is that Elliot Stabler is alive and well, just like the last time she saw him. He can't see and her trembling hands can barely hold on to the steering wheel with the tremors taking over her body. She grips the steering with all she has left in her body. He has to be okay. He's okay.

Elliot is okay. He is alive. He's fine. Elliot.

They could easily have made a mistake… All it takes is one misinterpretation, and…

I never want to see you again.

Her own words ring in her ears, louder than she'd ever said them, and they hurt more than anyone else's words have hurt her. He's okay. Elliot Stabler is okay…he has to be… But if he's not then that would mean…

I never want to see you again.

A sob escapes from her throat as she shoots a shaking hand to her mouth. No, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't want you in my life anymore.

A white truck turns into her lane out of nowhere and Olivia barely registers it before her arm abruptly swivels the car to the right. The man honks a loud New York complaint and Olivia takes off as soon as there are no other cars obstructing her path. She's not even sure if she's taken any red lights. She doesn't care. It doesn't matter. None of it matters if she's wrong. If he's there, none of it will matter…

"You know what… forget it… none of it matters."

She sees traffic ahead of her and aggressively slams her hand against the dashboard. "Damn it! Come on… move!" She brings her hand to her forehead to reassure herself that this is in fact happening. It's not just a nightmare… Elliot could be…

Elliot is okay. He is alive. He's fine. Elliot. She'd never forgive herself if he wasn't.

She can't feel anything except dread that is threatening to consume her at any given moment. All the moments they spent together over the course of those twelve years… she'd never forget them. They could never be replaced.

"It's just too complicated"

"You're the longest relationship I've ever had with a man, who else would put up with me?"

"They're wrong."

"I'd give you a kidney."

"You and this job are about the only things I've got anymore. I don't wanna wreck that. I couldn't take it."

They'd survived so much together. Gitano.

She'd held his son before he had the chance.

I'm done.

I don't want you in my life anymore.

I never want to see you again.

He can't be dead. Her hand rushes to cover her mouth at the thought, afraid the bile will just come shooting up. He can't be dead… he can't… Her last words to him could not be those that she had last spoken to him. She shouldn't have said all that… she didn't mean it… she needed him… she needs him. She needs to know he's okay.

Elliot is okay. He is alive. He's fine. Elliot.

She hadn't meant it. She hadn't… she would take it all back now if she could. She wants to tell him how much she wishes he was still in her life and all about her being a mother about her son who she knows would love him and about her being the Captain now, and about how she sees so much of their relationship in Carisi and Rollins and all about how Fin found love and is engaged and she realizes that there is so much she wants to tell him. There is so much she is never going to have the chance to tell him. She wants to apologize for how she left earlier… apologize for telling him that she never wanted to see him again.

She wants to laugh with him again. She wants to see that stupid shit eating grin again. She wants him to meet her son. She wants him to meet the people who have now become her family.

She turns off into the destination and sees the ambulance in front of her. She feels like she's having a heart attack. She's out of the car before she's even sure it's at a full stop. She runs up to the ambulance, past a car that looks totaled from the explosion. Her mind screams that there is no way there are any survivors. That the harshest words she'd ever spoken to him would be the last words he would ever hear from her. She doesn't want to admit it to herself. She knows how to exist without Elliot Stabler in her life, but she's sure she can't exist in a world completely rid of him in the most permanent way.

She's trying her hardest to get the attention of one of the responders, but no words leave her mouth. She's trying her hardest to process what is going on… but she can't stop her mind from running. She knows that something's not right because there is no urgency in the way of the responders. She doesn't hear screams or cries. She knows what this means… that he has to be-

"Liv!"

Her neck snaps around and she does a double take, unable to believe that he's really there…

That Elliot is… alive, okay, not dead.

Their eyes meet and the weight of the world on her shoulders disappears.

And all at once she feels the air rush into her lungs again. Her heart stops racing to the point of concern. The world has stopped spinning. Her mind has stopped revolting. Her entire being focuses on the one man standing in front of her. Her whole world from ten years ago stands in front of her… alive. The man who was undoubtedly the most important man in her life stares right back at her. Blue eyes. She was wrong. She never wanted to stop seeing those blue eyes ever again. She wants him in her life.

Her second chance. His second chance. Their second chance.

Her soul, intact now, and her body rejuvenated, the ability to speak returns enough for her to whisper back…

"Elliot"