'No, we… we can't do it.' John suddenly stopped and stepped back.

'Oh, sorry' Sherlock looked at the floor 'I thought you wanted to'

John's pupils were dilated. His hands shaking.

'John… I am sorry, we don't have to do anything.' Sherlock didn't know what to do. His friend clearly was distressed, so a hug would be recommended, but right now it seemed like it was Sherlock's touch that caused the distress. 'I'll make you tea.' Tea is always good, right?

When Sherlock brought the tea John was already sitting on the couch.

'Thank you.' John smiled weakly.

'I didn't mean to harm you. I am sorry.'

'You haven't done anything wrong, Sherlock.' John took a deep breath as Sherlock looked at him. 'It's just… I thought you weren't interested in me. Well, I had thought you were, but then…' John blinked few times to hold back tears before he continued. 'And now, after we went to the wedding. You have just kissed me… And I just wasn't prepared. I don't know. It's difficult when... But it's not your fault. I might have been sending mixed messages…'

'It's ok, John.' Sherlock smiled softly and looked into his friend's eyes. 'Now, I think it will be easier if we just talk… openly. You are probably aware that dating is not my area of expertise, so umm… I would just want to talk honestly, so we are on the same page.'

John's eyes were red, but he was nodding.

'I highly value your presence in my life. There is nothing I am more afraid of than the thought that you may leave me. However, I also have feelings for you that do not fit our current relationship status.' Sherlock took a big breath. 'I love you, John. I… I don't know. I am not used to that. I thought it's stupid. I thought I shouldn't tell you that, I was worried it may destroy our friendship… But when I saw that even Mycroft love someone… I realized I cannot waste my life and I have to tell you. And umm you looked like you were interested.' Sherlock smiled as he remembers kissing in the cab. 'But… we don't have to change anything. It's ok if you want to just be friends. I just want to be sure that's what you want.'

'I don't know Sherlock.' John looked away. 'I really really do not know. Some time ago I would say yes without a doubt. Now… I am not saying no, but…

'But you are not saying a yes either.' Sherlock nodded and turned back. 'So… um, I probably should go… police… you know… busy…'

'No Sherlock, stop.' Sherlock immediately stopped and looked at John. 'You wanted to talk. I am talking. If we don't do it now, we will never do it.' John took a deep breath and looked into Sherlock's eyes. 'I love you, Sherlock. But I was hurt by many people, who have also have told me they love me. And I am scared that one day you may realize you don't love me anymore and then… do something bad.'

'Oh my… John looks at me.' Sherlock's voice was trembling. 'I won't do anything bad. I am sorry that something has happened to you but… I promise I have no intentions of harming you… And John, even if I stop loving you, which won't happen, I won't hurt you.'

'Okay'

Sherlock raised his eyebrow. 'Okay, what?'

'Okay, we can be together.'

'Really?' Sherlock approached John

'Yeah' John smiled. 'We can even start now.'

Sherlock didn't wait any longer. He came closer to John so now their noses were nearly touching and looking deeply into blond's eyes he put his arms around John's waist. 'I love you. I've loved you for so long.'

John hugged him tightly 'Yeah, me too.'

'May I kiss you, John?'

'Yeah' He stepped back a little and kissed Sherlock. Their lips touched for a brief moment and after that, a long kiss happened.

'Have I told you that I love you, John'

'Yeah'

'Do you want to go to my room' Sherlock blushed

'Why?'

'I thought we may want to you know… have sex?'

'Oh… right. Okay… No! I meant… do you have condoms?'

'Um John, I do. But… you know, we don't have to if you don't want to. We can just cuddle and go to sleep. It's fine.'

'No… I want to. It's just… I probably should have told you earlier. I am transgender.'

They stared for a few (very long) seconds at each other before Sherlock realized John is waiting for his answer.

'Umm okay. But like… I don't mind talking with you about whatever you want, but I thought we were going to have sex.'

'Oh sorry. Transgender means that when I was born doctors assigned me female at birth and now I am male and...'

'John, stop. Sorry to interrupt, but uhm I know what transgender means and I know you are transgender. But I don't see why are we talking about it now when we just decided we are going to have sex.' Sherlock started to sound a bit frustrated.

'I don't have a penis!' John shouted

'Okay'

'Okay and…'

'… and I do. Sorry. I think I don't understand what's happening. Do you want to have sex with me? I do have condoms. And penis. But like… that would be obvious already if we got naked instead of talking about penises.'

'Yeah, I want to.' John chuckled and kissed his new boyfriend.

*The next morning*

'Oh, how could I not noticed… that does make sense now. However, I thought it's obvious I knew you were transgender. I am Sherlock Holmes.'

'What do you mean by that?'

'Oh sorry. I meant Mycroft checked everything about you three generations back.'