a/n: Welcome to Apriltober 2021, 30 super short stories in 30 days. First up, we continue investigating an April Fools Day prank done by the West Gate skell refueling station.
Possible swears. Vandham and Lila the OC NPC had a thing going shortly after the game ended, but it was short lived.
All the good things belong to Monolith Soft, but the station and several of its crew are mine.
Commander Vandham had picked the time of his arrival carefully. The lunch rush would be long over, but the station crew wouldn't be going off to dinner in shifts yet. He could pull the station manager aside and have a quiet talk. He didn't want this conversation to be some big public thing. To be honest, he didn't want this conversation at all, but he'd have to trust that when it was over, they could go back to building their fragile friendship.
"Lila, a minute?" He was using his most professional voice, the one he saved for meetings with industrialists when Maurice was also in the room.
Lila Brown, the top of her head barely reaching his collar bone, turned without surprise and flashed him a very small smile, probably an involuntary one. She handed her clipboard to the best technician, a foul-mouthed wiry guy with angry eyes, before leading Vandham to an area in the shadow of the shipping container/office/quickie mart. The corner was removed from the hustle of the station, and while a few tiny golden floor robots zipped past their feet regularly, they had the privacy that Vandham wanted.
"I heard you ran a prank today."
She smiled more openly. "You missed it. We shut it down at noon, like all proper pranks should be."
"I got complaints."
"What for?" She wrinkled her nose up at him, and he felt a little better. She wasn't always on the up and up, but she usually never played ignorant.
"Your stunt could have reduced readiness in a crisis. Your station attracts that kind of thing. Not a good combination."
"I'm not following."
He crossed his arms and rumbled down at her. "This planet does a fine job of translating for us, but electronics knock it sideways. We can't make heads or tails of what our xeno friends say over the comm links." His polite voice was slipping, because to be honest he wasn't comfortable with the weirdness that Mira offered them on a daily basis.
Lila snorted. "We swapped up the sounds of our voices, Jack, not the people doing the talking. Pure American being spoken by the three of us, plus Twyleth for once making honest human noises, prerecorded phrases that could be broadcast and understood in a pinch. If anything, we were more ready than ever. We're planning to build that into the station work app for the future."
"Still would have the issue of distortion."
"Nothing that the cheapest comm device couldn't handle. Besides, we had kill switches on the off chance there was a problem."
He was relieved but not surprised. Lila had been good at workplace safety on the Whale, even if she pulled weird stunts. Unfortunately, the conversation wasn't over. "There were also concerns about cultural sensitivity."
"Do not blame anyone for this but me," she insisted immediately. "If there are complaints, I will apologize and make whatever amends ..."
"No complaints, but concerns."
She looked at a single service robot scooting past, then looked steadily at Vandham. "Ricky and Twyleth swapped voices. The pre-recorded words she was using were all his, and she modified her own voice patterns for him to use. Right before we shut it down, they sang a duet. It was sweet, even if it wasn't much more than 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat.'" She took a breath and continued. "Gino's voice was based on Min'barac's. We even had Min stay an extra hour, paid, to teach Gino some authentic swears."
"He's your Orphe tech, right?"
"Second night manager. If he were better with customers, he could be full manager."
"And Orphe swears consist of..."
"Rude numbers."
"I can think of one."
"That one only works to shock humans. A fairly mild one is 105.84%, sort of a 'gee whiz'. Gino has a list of worse ones if you're interested."
Vandham wasn't satisfied. "And you were...?" he asked, knowing the answer already.
Lila tilted her chin upwards. "It's true, I didn't get any consultation about Zaruboggan speech. We ... I cobbled together something that introduced hisses and hard breaths in normal conversation. Garbled the sounds a little. I don't have any of them on staff, and they're too in-demand to call for a consultation."
"Next time, check. Better yet, no next time."
"Understood, sir."
The conversation was over, and Vandham was relieved that the silence was only mildly uncomfortable. He had delivered his message, it had been heard, and all that was left were the awkward goodbyes.
"It got me worried though, Commander, borrowing the Zaruboggan voice."
"Huh? How so?"
"it was more authentic than I would have preferred, in hindsight. I didn't have much time to build something and the easiest way to sound like you're running short on air is to reduce intake. I was not enjoying it by the end."
"You said there was no threat to readiness, Brown."
"I could have popped it out any time I wanted, Commander, but the Zaruboggans, they're stuck in their environmental suits 24-7. I know they say they're fine, but now I'm worried."
"We can't terraform this planet to suit them. The rest of us need normal air, not the noxious stuff they breathe."
"I know, but maybe a dedicated space for them to relax? Properly sealed, of course. Is that even possible?"
"You could ask around. In fact, that's an order."
The slight smile was back on her face. "I'm not in BLADE, Jack."
"Then as a favor, and to ease any misunderstandings built from your prank. You're in tight with the Ma-non, Nopon, and Orphe; more contacts with yet another xeno should be right up your alley."
a/n: Min'barac is canon, otherwise OC palooza, including Candid & Credible Number One Station!
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