A/N: SLEXIE CAME BACK. And they're healthy and happy and safe and idc if they're "together" only in Meredith's consciousness; they are in mine too. They are absolutely perfect and when they were running around on the beach together holding hands, my heart soared. Also all their little glances and smiles made the entire season. 17x10 is going on my list as one of my favourite grey's episodes.

best. grey's. anatomy. surprise. EVER. I'm even more happy then when Derek returned. #slexie reunion 2021 (also me and one of my best friend's Alls, frickin' called it)

i'm so happy that i just had to bring you this little snippet piece. i swear to freaking god, slexie was the best thing to come out of s17. i don't need anything else, just mark and lexie being adorable and together in the afterlife. gosh i can't even cope with this.

anyways, please enjoy this fic (my second one in less than a week, haha). all mistakes are mine, i apologize in advance

Lexie. My little sister, Lexie. You're here.

It had been years since she had seen Lexie, but only a few hours since she last thought about her. Meredith's thoughts always went back to those she had loved and lost, such as George, Derek and Lexie. They were her biggest motivators, and she had always wondered if they looked down on her and watched. Now she knew.

Meredith knew they were always there. Mark had said, had specifically said that they were there, that sometimes he yelled in her ear to warn her of what was to come. It comforted her to know that even through the hardest times, people were beside her. That they loved her no matter what path she took or choice she made. It didn't matter that she felt all alone after saving Gabriella Rivera's life, despite knowing deep down it was the right choice; someone was beside her in that moment, Meredith just knew. Maybe it was even Derek or Mark pushing her to save the girl's life, and Meredith just happened to think it was her own. Her husband and his best friend threw her life into some turbulent times, but she wouldn't change it for the world.

For Lexie's world either. Lexie's world while she was living consisted almost entirely of love for Mark Sloan, Meredith knew that much. Sure, Lexie wanted to be a good surgeon. But aside from patients, Mark was invading Lexie's thoughts. What was it that Lexie compared Mark to? Oh yes, a disease. It was like she was being infected by Mark Sloan . A real romantic, the youngest Grey. Remembering what Lexie had said made Meredith smile but only to herself. She didn't know if in this state of her mind, Lexie and Mark knew everything from their Earth-bound lives. She hoped that they might, because they had had some good moments. Laughing, loving and smiling. If everything happened for a reason then Meredith would count herself lucky for this precious moment with two people she loved very dearly.

Lying in the field of flowers, it felt more like a dream then a state of Meredith's subconsciousness. She was at peace knowing that in her place, Lexie and Mark were safe. Happy even. They were together, and Meredith couldn't help noticing the glances the pair were shooting each other. While the plane had been Lexie's cause of death, sometimes Meredith wondered if the loss of a loved one had been Mark's. Of course that wasn't her medical diagnosis but it certainly crossed her mind periodically. However for Meredith, it didn't always make sense. When Derek had died, she never thought anything could ever be good again. But she had to stay alive, for the unknown life growing inside of her at the time, and her two children; Zola and Bailey. Maybe without them, Meredith would've been more like Mark. Even then the thought flickered but didn't catch flame. It wasn't possible for her to move on. Despite being alive, Meredith knew she would always feel the pain of her loved one's deaths, no matter how long she lived for.

In her head, Meredith had deemed Lexie and Mark trustworthy enough. So as she lay, nestled amongst the grass, she voiced her question. "So life is pain, right? Life is pain, and somehow that's the point?" It didn't all make sense, but hopefully those lying next to her would have an answer.

"No." Mark was quick to answer, just as Lexie answered the same, "No."

Meredith was confused; pain was the point of life. It was all she ever really knew. There would be happy moments and moments that made one forget about all the bad things in the world. Though deep down, pain was the root of all evil; right? "I lost you both. I lost George. I lost my parents and even before my parents died…"

"...they caused you a lot of pain." Lexie shot Meredith a sympathetic glance. She knew so much more than Meredith did but Meredith would always see her as her little sister. Dubbing her as Little Grey suited the brown-haired girl perfectly.

With a sigh, Meredith concentrated on the moving shapes of the clouds as she echoed her sister's words. "So much grief. So much loss. So much pain."

Lexie agreed, "Yes."

"Yeah, but what's the thing that caused the pain?" Mark, as always, butted in with his own words of wisdom.

Meredith hadn't invited them to her beach to quiz her. While she wasn't angry in the slightest, she also didn't want to be questioned. She was the one supposed to be asking the questions. Standing up, she brushed off Mark's words with a simple statement. "I hate this."

"Hate what?" His deep voice had Meredith almost rolling her eyes.

"You knowing things that I don't."

Mark asked again, patient as always, "What's the thing that caused the pain?"

She knew. Oh boy, did Meredith know. "I know it, I just don't want to say it." She didn't want to say it because it was what kept her heart beating and her body moving after Derek died. It was the reason she had to fix things for Andrew Deluca's sake after he tried to cover up the insurance fraud for her. It was why she would always be there for Cristina, even if she was in stupid Switzerland. It was the reason she forgave Amelia, talked with Maggie and hugged her family whenever she could. The silly little four-letter word that seemed to make anything and everything either fall apart or become new again. Too bad Mark couldn't hear her thoughts, despite being in them. He would know how much she knew about what he was asking her to say out loud.

Instead, he chuckled. "Stubborn as you ever were." His eyes danced, gaze flickering over to Lexie.

Lexie wasn't looking at the man who died loving her with his whole heart. She was looking at the flowers on the ground, then up at her sister. "The depth of grief that you felt with all the losses, it's because of the depth of love. As long as you're alive, you get to feel it. And you get to do something about it. Everything changes all the time when you're alive and all the time, you fight the change. You cling onto what you have and what you know like that's how it should always be."

Silence overtook the trio. For the first time, Meredith thought about what Lexie was saying because she had never thought about life like that. Being alive changed things, it changed the way you felt and thought and could act. While she was alive, she could fight for Derek, she could fight for love and the laughter and the moments with her kids. In this state, she didn't know how to fight. It had been hard enough to let Derek come closer, let alone tell him what she wanted from him.

To live, that was all anyone was really fighting for. That and love, of course.

This time, when Mark glanced at Lexie, she was looking right back at him. "It's such a waste of life," he said, with a hint of humour in his tone.

"Right?" The corners of Lexie's mouth turned up, as she replied to him.

"What a waste?" Meredith's head was spinning; she couldn't keep up with whatever they knew and she didn't.

"Fighting change." First Mark.

"Resisting pain." Then Lexie.

Meredith paused for only a heartbeat. "I miss you both so much."

"That's kind of a waste of time, too." Lexie shot her sister a glance, before letting out a small laugh.

"Why?"

"Because we never left you." Plain and simple, the words sounding so right to Meredith's own ears. Why or why did no one ever figure this out before? If she ever woke up, Meredith wanted to remember everything so that she would never feel alone again.

"Sometimes we're right next to you, yelling in your ear."

Trust Mark to make her laugh. Meredith let out a chuckle that had been bubbling up inside of her. She had never felt so good; so free. This wasn't her home, it was Mark and Lexie's, but if she could choose, she'd want to be here forever. Forever was a long time. It was as long as Mark was going to love Lexie, and Derek would wait for Meredith. As long as Andrew would be reunited with his mom, and Cormac's wife would watch from above as her boys grew up. Forever was a long time, but Meredith knew she would stick around for it.

Something had shifted in the moment, and Meredith couldn't place what. She turned to say something, when she caught Lexie looking at her, a stern but kind shadow crossing her face. "Don't waste it, Meredith."

A breath. Meredith barely thought of her next question, until they came flying out of her mouth. "Waste what?" She asked.

"Don't waste one single minute." It was Mark who said the final words. There was so much he wasn't saying, so much he couldn't say. But in that single sentence, Meredith knew. She knew he loved her sister and she knew that even if it was only in her mind, they were together. Together forever, meant to be and happy . Oh, they were so happy. As happy as Mark said they'd be as he held Lexie's hand while she took her last shuddering breaths. At peace in this place, flying kites and chasing each other in the sand. In love, just as they should've been for decades. Here, they had eternity.

It was bliss. Perfect, utter bliss here. Meredith was almost sad to go. But this beach, this place that was Meredith's, would soon move along. It was up to her to move with it, or fight to stay alive. The choice seemed so simple yet felt so challenging at the same time.

Whatever decision it was, it was Meredith's to make. And whatever she chose, she knew that there would be people who loved her at her side. To the end, until her very last breath.

*copyright for all the in-quotation dialogue belongs to Grey's Anatomy, the rest is inspired by the show but my words*

also i swear to god i'm the first person to write about the new episode and i'm very much not complaining!

find me on tumblr & a03 thedefinitionofendgame

thanks for reading!