Hi! Here I'm again. Well, I still have an inspiration thorn for these two that didn't want to go down. So, yeah, I've spent the last six hours more or less trying to start, finish and edit this. (It's not even one of my longer works, but it felt like an eternity, haha.)
Either way, I enjoyed writing it and I hope you do reading it.
I apologize for possible mistakes, I'm really running down this time ( x o x ).
All comments are welcomed, as long as you respect me and everyone ( : D )
I'm not that used to write "long" fics in English, since it's not my first language, but I did my best!
Just in case, I don't pretend to offend anyone or anyone's favorite characters. I just wrote what I felt like doing. I did try to respect all the characters, but if something seems otherwise, it was not my intention ( D : )
Disclaimer: "Naruto" and his characters aren't my property, or do you think I would spend this much time trying to put together my crack OTPs?
Also, this fic is also posted on "Whispers_of_the_wind" AO3 account.
{ ⁂ ╫ ⁂ }
First impressions
{℘}
Oh, let me just hold you now all your life.
—Michael Schulte, Heard you crying.
I will be yours even when you're not mine.
—Chester See (co-written by Kurt Hugo Schneider), I will be loving you.
I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more
—Angelita Lim.
{℘}
For someone who had a Love tattoo drew in visible crimson lines, Naruto did not understand Gaara's reasons to feel nauseous around couples and those romantic animes that Sakura sometimes asked them to try while Sabaku visited Iruka's apartment. The redhead never complained when everyone sat on the couch to see a marathon, but he often made funny faces at the TV.
It did not matter how comfortable the green-eyed felt with the— mismatched— trio of Uzumaki, Haruno and Uchiha, he missed the right words to say it: falling for someone and acting like an idiot had never been his thing. The older among the four did not believe himself above love the same way as Sasuke did. Gaara just… oh, well! He pretty much sucked at having crushes. It made him feel exasperated.
Why Kankuro fell in love very often? How had Temari managed to keep her relationship with Shikamaru for so fucking long? Was it worthy to chase someone like Naruto and Sakura did? Looking at someone's eyes feel that great or did it start to become dull?
Sabaku wished he could know it already, even if turned out as a one-sided thing. (Obviously, Gaara preferred all his feelings to be returned).
The biggest question was whether or not his loneliness could be eventually lessened, like a tamed beast that would stop suffocating him. A few years ago, Sabaku used to think that being feared by his aggressiveness and hatred will save that weepy child hidden deep inside of him. In those old days, he thought only "Gaara" could love himself and sank more and more.
His blonde friend, the first and dearest to him, taught Gaara to see the light. His pain soothed, and he became a work in progress. Naruto, he believed, always reminded him to his uncle, Yashamaru (whose memory stopped hurting as if it were a million daggers stabbing him mercilessly over and over again). The blue-eyed had encouraged Sabaku to know new people and try to make friends since then, but it was rather difficult for someone with his life experience.
In retrospective, Gaara thought, Neji could— and should— have done better. Despite whatever his current fiancé said about his improvement, the redhead continually needed to fight back the urge of losing his temper in front of the older people who led the Hyuga family. (Tenten was right, most of them were still unbearable scumbags to his boyfriend.)
Anyway, Sabaku felt curiosity about loving another person. It was kind of overwhelming for the young green-eyed that had barely succeeded at gather a few friends and was dealing with a lot back then.
Raasa had just died when he met Naruto and started to hang around. Gaara had anger issues plus a very strong self-loathing. Furthermore, the crimson haired felt desperate to get along with whoever may try to get close, which resulted in several problems.
"You're doing this on purpose." Sasuke complained as they played a yaoi anime. "I just went out of my brother's flat so I don't have to see him being that lovey-dovey with our teacher."
Gaara, who kept his eyes fixated on the screen, felt a little relieved of averting his gaze.
Uzumaki laughed at the Uchiha's face, asking about his brother's sweetheart. It seemed weird to discuss it, but the blonde was always eager to draw that funny grimace that Sasuke put,
"He probably ruined my life." The raven haired said, rolling his eyes. "I chose Arts because it sounded easier than others subjects, but Sasori turned out to be absurdly picky and he's being even more demanding of my works since they started dating."
"I'm grateful to Sakura-chan for telling me beforehand about Akasuna-sensei," the blonde commented, "I dropped his class just on time."
"Sasori's rather mean. You couldn't've handled him." The Uchiha sighed.
"I thought nobody beats Orochimaru, though" Gaara added, taking some popcorns from a bowl Sakura had left next to the guys. She shuddered, sitting in the floor but without taking her eyes away from the TV.
"Everyone hates Biology because of him," Sakura agreed, and rose her head towards the charcoal eyed. "Anyway, you're traying to get along with our sensei, aren't you?"
"I guess so." Sasuke shrugged. "To be honest, he's not the worst my brother could have gotten. But it's still kind of weird, even if they're not anything like that." The Uchiha pointed out to the anime. "Sometimes they just stared at each other for a while until Sasori's cheeks blush and he looks flustered."
The redhead tried to imagine it.
Gaara would not lie: if someone as coldblooded and harsh as the grey-brownish eyed could fell in love, there must be something wrong with Sabaku. Of course, it was Itachi Uchiha they were speaking about! Who could not possibly fall for Sasuke's older brother? It seemed more plausible not become friends with Naruto, and the green-eyed really tried that for a long time— both things. He had failed miserably at one as well as the other.
Why, for God's sake, Gaara could not be infatuated by anyone? Sabaku did notice good-looking men and beautiful women, but nothing more than that. Was he asexual? Was he chasing an ideal, a ghost?
And so on, the redhead kept yearning for a love that might never arrive.
Nevertheless, not longer than a month from their meeting, life proved him wrong one more time.
In spite of his best hopes… Gaara ended up finding his— oh, so special— first love story in the bloodiest way he could have ever imagined.
At that time, Sabaku just remembered his vision going red and a heated fury running inside his veins while he connected a fist on Rock Lee's cheek. The famous Green Beast from Martial Arts club stood in his way to beat a total jerk who dared to call him freak and spoke about his sister's breasts while taking out her bra! Those two had stolen it during their swimming time!
He knew Temari could knock the living daylight out of those wankers in a blink of an eye, so he might have felt a little too much raving that day. Who knows and who cares! (OK, as a matter of fact, Gaara did feel awful of what followed it). After some blows and great kicks— although now he had said it, it kind of felt like bragging and he should not have come to that— outside the school, next to a narrowed alley, Lee appeared to stop the fight between the crimson haired and one of those jerks.
The thing is that once Sabaku had started it, he was sure he needed to finish him off. When the guy ran, bloody nose and mouth, Gaara was ready to chasing him! Lee, being as righteous and nosy as only he could be, kept middling until he lost his patience and hit him.
For being such a shorter and sickly-looking guy, the green-eyed could be a real monster. People who underestimated, he made sure they will regret it. A lifelong lesson for not messing anymore with those that meant the world to him.
If Gaara had left Lee, he would have probably missed the chance to meet Neji.
The raven haired was on the floor, a little dazed and taken aback from the hard smack. Feeling nervous and driven by his adrenaline, Sabaku drew a crooked smile— one of those which gained scared looks from everyone else and breathless gasps.
"Stop middling in my business." Gaara hissed, ready to charge again when the black haired shook his head. The rounded eyed took Temari's underwear then.
"Is this… yours? Were you and that guy fighting over this?"
"Put that down!" Gaara screamed, horrified and feeling his blood boiling. "It's my sister's!"
"Oh, snap! Oh, holy cow, I'm pretty sorry." Lee blurted, flushing. "Why on Earth do you have it?"
The green-eyed was so frigging annoyed! He would totally beat his ass, since the other decided to mess up with him and his rage and was still looking at Temari's… intimate things.
Shit. He would break his promise to Naruto about being… a little more unshaken. Well, it was a force majeure, was not?
Gaara came closer in just a few steps, a diabolic glare, when it happened.
Suddenly, a dark-haired student put himself before Lee and pushed Sabaku with amazing strength. The crimsons locks moved violently, tickling his eyes as he tried to keep his balance. At the same time the green-eyed lifted his gaze, the world spun like a top.
He's so handsome. Gaara thought, blinking. Then he remembered that time when Naruto changed Sasuke's ringtone for a catchy song in English (which, obviously, had driven the Uchiha insane) and he felt stupid as the preposterous lyrics came to his mind. I came in like a wrecking ball. I never hit so hard in love.
Neji Hyuga— as Gaara would know two days after that disaster—, looked daggers at him with his moonlike eyes shining angrily and both eyebrows touching together. His beauty was beyond words, and Sabaku remained mesmerized for a long moment. All his fury longer forgotten.
"I'll kick your ass," said a brunette, whose chocolate orbs burst on fire too.
Gaara's lips twitch. Judging by their uniforms, he noticed, they were seniors at Konoha.
"Hey!" The girl shouted, giving Lee a smack of her own. "What the Hell, Lee!? Where did you get that from?"
"Ouch, I was just trying to figure it out. This little one was fighting over it with another random student." Lee explained through swollen lips. Once again, Tenten gave Gaara a look.
"Disgusting!"
The lilac eyed narrowed his eyes.
"I heard some girls had lost their underclothes these past few hours. Was it you, Sabaku no Gaara?"
How does he know my name? The aforementioned mused, shocked.
"I did not!" Gaara finally managed to say, bitterly. "They claimed it was my sister's, so I was kicking their asses when spandex here got in the way."
The moonlike eyed stared him intensely, having no confidence. He might be the best-looking I've ever seen, but he's being a nuisance.
"You're Kankuro's brother, aren't you?" He asked and Gaara nodded somewhat begrudgingly. "Fine. I'll let it pass this time. But listen carefully: do that to my friend again, and I won't go easy on you. There was no reason for you to attack him like that." The lilac eyed said icily to the redhead. Meanwhile, Tenten helped Lee to fully stand up.
The green-eyed stood there, burying a— treacherous— blush from coming up. The younger Sabaku— finally— had a sense of guilt after unleashing against an innocent who only tried to make the right thing.
At that moment, he had felt defenseless, puny, and a psychopath.
"Could you recognize them?" Neji continued.
"Yes. But he already got what he deserved."
Hyuga seemed to fought a smile, but the dark-haired remained unemotional at the end.
"Nevertheless, you still hurt my friend."
He's right. The green-eyed reflected. Next thing Sabaku knew, he bowed to his three seniors. "I'm sorry." Gaara whispered, honestly. "I was not thinking clearly."
The Konoha students riveted their eyes on him.
"Don't mind it." Lee said and, wearing a dumb but friendly smile, stretched out his hand with Temari's intimate clothes. Gaara remained still, making a face and took it with red cheeks that rival his crimson hair.
This time, Neji did smile a moment before pressing his lips together.
"Well, I guess you said the truth," added Tenten, kind of amused. Next to her, the Hyuga sighed awkwardly.
"You should go and tell our chairman about this. Violence doesn't solve things, Sabaku. Put some ice on that."
The redhead's heart painfully doubled its beats.
"Aye."
He told Naruto about his… physical quarrel that night. Likewise, Gaara did his best to hide the bruises and scratches to his siblings as longer as he could. (Obviously, the younger Sabaku did not get to keep that forever and got scolded by Temari at dinner when he confessed and passed the blonde her belongings.) Anyway, as he spoke to Naruto through the phone, Uzumaki had told him their senior's… names— if you can count "Bushy brows", "Weapon lover" and "Hair freak" as such.
"But I think Hair freak is, uh, you know, ah, that girl, Hinata's cousin."
Oh. Oh. Gaara did not particularly like the Hyuga, who was always hiding and stalking Naruto. It was eerie. And it worsened by Uzumaki being oblivious. Sasuke once told him that the pale-eyed woman had fainted for being too close to the other.
I really appreciate Naruto, but he's the dumbest on Earth, seriously.
Putting that aside, that morning Gaara decided to look for Bushy brows, Weapon lover and Hair freak. He bought some cookies (because everyone loves them, right?) and before Kakashi-sensei arrived to the classroom, he went to Hinata's seat to ask about her cousin's classroom.
After she stuttered over her own words, he managed to get the information.
{℘}
Sabaku no Gaara was either shy or socially awkward. Either way, Neji found it endearing as the redhead apologized to Lee once again and gave them chip chocolate cookies during their break time.
Tenten invited the redhead to spend time with them, giving him a mock wink that sent shivers and increased butterflies' flaps inside the long-haired man. He tried to keep himself distant of the subject and concentrate on his onigiri instead.
However, at some point, their eyes encountered each other and Neji's heart just skipped a beat.
At least, he was not the only one, since the redhead swallowed and stood up clumsily as they stared.
"I have classes with Akasuna-san," Gaara told them to excuse himself.
"Oh, get it." The brunette said and then, with a warm-hearted smile— as only she could muster— she asked, "Would you like to come again once in a while? I rather enjoyed your company, Sabaku-kun. I'm sure my friends did it also."
"Certainly!" Lee yelled, enthusiastically and looked towards Neji, who took his sweet time to simply nod. Tenten rolled her eyes and kicked him under their seats.
"I would gladly accept to have you around sometimes." He said and made a face, closing his eyes to mentally smash his head against the wall. "See you around, Sabaku."
Shit. Why? Why!? Neji did not resemble anything to his cousin. Except, maybe, at the easy blush that he was fighting when Gaara stated, "I guess you can call me Gaara if you feel like doing so. Naruto, my friend, always said it is a way to make friends."
"I'd like that." Was all the Hyuga remembered saying to the green-eyed.
Some months after that, Gaara crossed paths with the dark-haired on the hall. The moon-like eyes caressed the redhead's face during what it felt like an eternity.
It was something new to Sabaku. Everyone tended to look from his head to toes as if checking up before mentally agreeing he looked as some kind of crazy insomniac. Oh, well, he was one, but he did not like people saying it out loud. Neji, however, maintained his gaze on his with a shinning that made the orbs looked like two full moons.
"You have pretty eyes." The dark haired said, abruptly. "And lovely hair."
Gaara looked up, surprised.
"What?"
"Tenten said so." Neji blurted, face red.
"Ah."
"I mean, I can agree. If that doesn't annoy you that much."
A moment of silence.
"No," he said, awkwardly. "Ahm, you also have amazing eyes. And silky-looking hair."
Neji blinked.
"Thanks. I was thinking about cutting it."
Gaara could have gone pale that moment.
"But it looks great." The turquoise-eyed mumbled under his breath.
Neji smiled, a gesture that melted Sabaku's heart and soul.
"I take a lot of care of it." He did not say anything else after that as he passed next to the redhead.
"Hey, Gaara. Next time you get into troubles, I can also beat them for you."
The other's cheeks burnt.
"I can manage it myself." He said, almost irritated.
"Of course, but I have a philosophy: I protect what is precious to me."
Gaara felt lightheaded after that.
"Neji!" He said, mustering all his courage. "Would you… you know, would you like to go out someday?"
The dark-haired remained silent, just to finally say, "I would have preferred to ask you out first."
Gaara opened his mouth and closed it.
"Sorry."
"But I'm glad you asked, anyway. What about meeting me after classes today?"
Gaara was speechless, but nodded. Neji smiled, amused. Then he left.
The redhead stood still for a minute or so before returning to his classes with a funny feeling in his chest.
Ah, this is what love feels like, isn't? Aren't we all the same? Looking for love, fighting for it? Maybe, my search had finished.
Neji and Gaara, losing themselves inside the other's eyes through the next years, did stop their quest that time. Now they only would grow older, and keep falling in love deeper than yesterday and the day before yesterday.
END