Chapter One
The silence, the clinking of forks and glasses, lights down low and this dress: they all make me feel like I can't breathe.
"I need a change."
The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, but when I realize just how true they are, I know I can't take them back.
Liam looks at me, fork halfway to his mouth and blue eyes blink. "A change?"
I watch him, blond hair smoothed back, perfect polo shirt under his Burberry blazer. Everything about Liam could— or should—make any woman happy.
I grew up with my mom and step-dad, Phil. I have a sister a year younger than me, Vanessa. I never knew my real dad, Charlie.
I found out the truth less than a month ago. The news flipped my world upside down.
He told me this morning that there is a cabin he has on his property that is mine to live in if I wanted to.
"Okay, where do you want to go or do, Bella?" he asks slowly, like he would ask a child.
I nod, and Liam waits for me to explain myself.
I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not sure how I should respond, but the words are out of my mouth before I give any thought to what they mean.
"I need a change. Something new away... from you." No matter how true it is, I still flinch when he looks up angrily. "Away from here."
I think of the small cabin I looked at this morning in the small town where my dad lives.
"Well, that's so…" He gestures behind me. Mom, Phil and Vanessa are behind me, excited. When I turn to look back at Liam, he drops a box on the table.
"Unfortunate," he finishes as he stands up and opens the box. I've never seen a ring so huge.
"Did he ask?! Did she say no?" Mom asks out loud, watching as he walks away.
"I don't think he asked her, but look at her face!" Vanessa almost sounds like she's happy and sad at the same time
"Bella?" Dad—Phil—says, as I get up and follow Liam.
"Grab the ring!" Mom calls after me. I grab it, and it feels so much heavier than it should.
Everything feels heavy lately.
I find Liam outside, leaning against the building, head back and eyes closed.
"Liam." I stand in front of him.
"It's okay," he says after a minute, his blue eyes see right through me.
With a deep breath, he sighs., "I saw your face when you saw the ring, Bella. I know the whole Charlie thing has thrown you for a loop. I guess I didn't realize that it changed your feelings about me."
"I didn't either," I say, smoothing down my dress. "I really am sorry."
He nods, looking past me. "I'll bring you home, if you want. I'll take care of everyone else, inside, if you want to wait in the car."
It's in this moment, I wish that I loved him, but then I think that maybe I don't deserve to.
…
The car ride is silent, until my phone starts buzzing in my purse.
I ignore the calls from Mom and Phil. Vanessa just sends me a text saying I'm really fucked up.
I'm not ready for all of their incoming questions.
Liam pulls into the garage, but we stay seated.
"Your sister decorated the house… she was positive you'd say yes...just ignore all of it."
He says it, lacking any emotion as he opens his door, and by the time I get inside, I hear the door shut to our guest bedroom.
The house is lit up in candles, everywhere. Red roses, which I could never bring myself to tell Liam I hated, on every surface.
I blow all of the candles out and make sure the lights are off.
I pull my phone out, turning it back on.
Checking the time to make sure it isn't too late, which it isn't, I press send and hope Charlie answers..
He answers on the second ring.
"Bella?" His voice is tentative, but I think he's happy, too.
"I can be there in two days. Is that okay?"
The smile is definitely there as Charlie says, "I can't wait to see you, sweetie."
I met Liam during my first year at Columbia. He was fun, kind and he was the best looking man I had ever seen in my life.
We fell in love fast, and through many study groups and late night cram sessions, we just fit together.
Until we didn't.
The months leading up to the truth about Charlie, he seemed distant and stressed.
I guess med school changed the both of us and then finding out you aren't who you thought you were catches up with you.
Despite being exhausted, that night I don't sleep, so I pack.
I don't expect Liam to be there in the morning; I didn't hear him, but when I make my way downstairs, he's there. He stands in front of the doors that lead outside. He's on the phone.
"No… we just came back here. I don't think she's awake now."
He listens for a second.
"I'm pretty sure it's over. She did embarrass me."
His words give me the assurance I need to make myself known. At this point, maybe I'll be in Washington sooner than expected.
"Imagine finding out that your whole life has been one giant lie!" I say, out loud. He jumps at my outburst.
He turns, abandoning his phone after telling whoever he was talking to he had to go.
"I had no control over that," he says, defensive.
I watch him. "Did you know?" I ask.
For a second, his face is all I need to see to know the truth.
"Why aren't you over this yet? You're going to what? Go to some small town in the middle of nowhere to meet some man who couldn't possibly give you the life you have now."
"Who are you?" I ask, shaking my head and wondering where the man that would bring ice cream home and make forts to binge watch Netflix went.
"You know who I am," he says, frustrated.
"I'm finally seeing it, maybe." I fire back.
He steps closer to me, and I step back.
"You're right about one thing." I point between us. "It is over. I'm leaving." I step back farther, walking away.
"Don't worry, I won't be around much more to embarrass you,." I call over my shoulder
"Isabella." I flinch at his tone and use of my full name.
"I packed what I could… anything else—send it to Renee."
"Bella." He changes his tone quickly, now he pleads.
Ignoring him and hoping this is the right move, I walk out.
Hi! Big thanks to Mel for being the best beta; and May and Lauren for pre-reader. Love y'all!
See you next Friday!
xo
Meg