No Matter How Much You Act Like A Drunken Idiot, You Can Always Count On Your Family
After Yoshida Shouyo died, all that his students had left of him was his head as his body had been seized by the Tendoshu, and then those students had been forced to go on the run to escape from the government after the end of the war. They hadn't been able to give their beloved sensei a proper burial and all that had remained as his grave was the burned and charred remains of the Shouka Sonjoku school. Years later, in fact not that long ago, Katsura had convinced Gintoki to help him lay a grave marker in what was left of the school in honour of their sensei.
In the two years that it had been there, they had returned once a year and gotten ridiculously drunk. They had done that every year separately as it was, but at least now they had a grave to apologise to when they did it.
This year, Gintoki didn't visit the grave alone. This time, Shinpachi, Kagura and Tsukuyo followed him and they found Katsura already there, cleaning away leaves from the grave and laying fresh flowers.
The samurai looked up at his friend and raised an eyebrow. "You never bought anyone out here before," Katsura remarked, "Not that he would've minded. He'd have liked the company, I think."
"Figured it was about time," Gintoki replied, "And they wouldn't stop pestering me."
"Oh? And you brought Tsukuyo-dono? Sensei would've loved that," his friend smirked.
"Probably would've just laughed in my face," Gintoki snorted.
"He definitely would have. What's it been? A year? And she's still here? Who'd have thought there was a woman crazy enough to want to stick around you for this long."
"I'm right 'ere, ya jerk!" Tsukuyo glared at the long haired samurai.
"Oi, Zura, don't make her angry. She'll throw a kunai at you," Gintoki mumbled, "It hurts, y'know."
"He would've liked her," Katsura said after a moment.
"You kidding? They'd have got along so good I'd never've had a moment's peace. They'd be making fun of me so much I'd have to run away."
"That's true," his friend snorted, "So, tell me...and sensei...what'd you do?"
"What'd you mean what'd I do?"
"To get her to stay? You blackmail her or something?"
"You b******! You wanna die, huh?!" Gintoki yelled at him. "So, the only way a woman would stay with me is if I'm blackmailing her? How low do you think I am?!"
"Pretty low, actually."
"You're really pissing me off!" he growled and shoved the other samurai with an annoyed hand. "At least I don't lie to her face and convince her that the only reason I want her around is because of her ramen making skills!"
"Oi...h...how many times...Ikumatsu-dono and I..." Katsura flushed.
"'Cause Tsukki can't cook to save her life and even I can't lie that good!" Gintoki continued.
"Oi!" Tsukuyo glared at him.
"Besides, you're way worse than I am. You're the one who's always chasing after married women!"
"I've told you, b******!" Katsura exclaimed. "I'm not into married women! It's cuckoldry I'm into. There's a difference!"
"How can he say that with a straight face?" Tsukuyo mumbled and Shinpachi shrugged.
"Married women. Urgh. That's the one kind of woman I'd never chase after; too much effort, all that sneaking around and hiding. What a pain," Gintoki declared.
"But it's..."
"Ah, shut it. I don't want in on your weirdo cuckold fetish. I got enough of my own."
"We don't want to know," Shinpachi said, rolling his eyes, "We really don't want to know. And is it even appropriate to be discussing this at someone's grave?"
"Besides, Tsukki's only married to her work and that doesn't count. And before you say it again, I didn't blackmail her or anything. It was nothing to do with me. She started it! She seduced me, y'know, not the other way round!" Gintoki said to his friend.
"Ya don't need to shout it out to the whole world, idiot!" Tsukuyo exclaimed, knocking him over the head while she blushed.
"There's kids here, Gintoki," Katsura sighed at his friend, "Should you really be talking about that when they're..."
"You're the one talking about cuckoldry, you disgrace of a samurai!" Shinpachi yelled at him.
"Shut it, Zura, it's fine. They're more mature than you," Gintoki replied.
"Is it any wonder?" Shinpachi said, dryly, "We live with you. We have to be."
"See?! They're fine with it!"
"I'd rather not think of you doing that, actually," Shinpachi mumbled.
"I got some headphones to use at night for when Tsukki's staying over," Kagura shrugged, "So it doesn't bother me, nu-huh."
"Oi!" Gintoki yelled, "We're not that loud!"
"Will ya just shut it already!" Tsukuyo hissed at him.
"If that's the case...then sensei would've liked her all the more," Katsura muttered to his friend.
"Yeah," he agreed. He knelt down by the grave and brushed away some of the dirt that had accumulated over the last year.
"Takasuki's probably around somewhere," Katsura sighed, "If he hasn't already been. He'll try and kill us if he sees us."
"Let him try."
"I tried...to help him...Takasuki, I mean," Katsura said, remorsefully.
"He's beyond help," Gintoki replied, standing up.
"Out of all of us, you're the one with the most reason to want to destroy the world...and if you genuinely wanted to, I doubt either of us could stop you even if we teamed up. I wouldn't want to take that job. But out of all of us...he's the one who fell off the deep end and lost his mind..."
"We all lost it...you and me and him," Gintoki said. "Difference is; we came back, he didn't. That's all there is to it."
"I never liked him," Katsura said. "Even when we were kids. But after everything we've been through...I couldn't just turn my back on him."
"How 'bout now?"
"I said it, didn't I? I no longer consider him a comrade. We're enemies," his friend replied, sadly. "I don't want to destroy the world anymore, I want to change it, make it something better than what we've got right now. You made me see that I was wrong and I tried to do the same for him but I failed. I'm sorry, Gintoki. You must've wondered...what the point was in losing sensei to save us when we both ended up wanting to destroy the world. He wouldn't have wanted that."
"He doesn't want anything anymore...he's dead," Gintoki said, grimacing and turning away from the grave.
"He wouldn't want this," Katsura repeated.
"Doesn't matter," his friend shrugged.
Katsura sighed and waited a moment before he spoke again. "I've still got sensei's sword. I took it off the last battlefield in the war where you left it."
"I know. You tell me that every year."
"It's yours. He'd want you to have it," Katsura said.
"I don't want it," Gintoki mumbled.
"But..."
"He used to tell me that a dead man's sword won't protect anything. It doesn't matter anymore."
"Yes it does," his friend insisted, "It's all we've got left. We didn't even have anything of him to bury!"
"Gin-san," Shinpachi said, kindly, "Maybe you should take it. If it's all you've got left of him."
"Did I ever tell you that I'm the one who killed him?" Gintoki declared. "And he thanked me for it. The Tendoshu made me choose, him or Zura and Takasuki. I did what sensei would have wanted me to do...and I killed him to save them. And you think he'd want me to have his sword?" he scoffed. "He would've been better off if he'd never met me. Maybe he'd still be alive."
"You don't know that. Knowing him, he would've found others and he'd still have been executed for teaching them because of the ban from the government," Katsura said.
"Maybe...but I'm the one who found you two. We were the troublesome ones. Maybe the government wouldn't have taken any notice of sensei if he hadn't brought in so many students. Maybe if we hadn't gone after him..."
"It had nothing to do with us. They would've killed him anyway, like they killed everyone else in the purge. It didn't matter whether we went after him or not," his friend insisted, "We lost him the moment they took him."
"...Maybe."
"And besides, you were the most difficult one of us all. They didn't take you. They were only after him...Weren't you the first one he found?"
"Hmmm," he nodded.
"You were always his favourite," Katsura smirked at him.
"I think he just liked hitting me over the head the most."
"You were the only one who never figured out that if you just stayed down then he'd give you a break and move onto someone else."
"Guess I was a stupid kid, huh?"
"You never change," Katsura chuckled quietly.
"You wanna die, huh, you b******?"
"Really...I mean it, don't ever change," the samurai said, much more seriously.
"Sounds like too much work even if I wanted to," Gintoki replied, "You know I hate work."
"True."
"But I hated him hitting me on the head too," he scrubbed a hand through his messy, wavy hair. "And what kind of help is just telling me 'oh, you almost got me there...around there somewhere, yeah just about there'," he tried to mimic Shouyo's kind voice. "Where the heck does that even mean?! Around where?! His head? His foot? Argh, where did he mean?! He said that every time and he never explained it! Never! No matter how many times I asked him! Argh! It pisses me off just thinking about it! WHERE THE HECK IS 'AROUND THERE' ANYWAY?!" he yelled and pointed angrily at the grave. "You b******, you're never gonna tell me, are you?" he sighed after a moment. "Did he ever explain that to you?" he asked Katsura.
"No, I don't remember him ever saying that to me, never mind explaining it."
"Bet he did it just to irritate me."
"Sounds like something he'd do," Katsura agreed and Gintoki let out a pitiful sounding scoff. "He always liked tormenting us," he added.
"Sadistic b******," the silver haired samurai mumbled.
"Like you're any different."
"Better a sadist than a jerk with a cuckoldry fetish."
"There's nothing wrong with liking cuckoldry!"
"There's nothing right with liking cuckoldry!"
"Please stop saying cuckoldry," Shinpachi muttered.
"Perfectly normal fetishes aside," Katsura began. "I booked a room in the village. Come with me, Gintoki. It's late, we can all go back to Edo in the morning."
"I'm not staying here, you know that. I hate it here and they hate us," Gintoki replied.
"I paid them for the room, they can't complain."
"They always do."
"Well, this time things might change."
As they stumbled back to the village it began to rain and soon it turned into a storm. The cart that they would've rode back to the train station refused to leave in the bad weather so they were forced to take shelter in the largest building in the village in which Katsura was already renting a room. They offered the use of another room, for a price and many a rude word. Gintoki had been right, the people of the village still didn't care for the students of Shouyo.
Katsura passed the time drinking and after a while, Gintoki snuck out of the room and sat on the wooden veranda leaning against one of the old, splintering pillars and watching the lighting flash in the sky and listening to the sound of the rain.
"Why're ya hidin' out 'ere?" he heard Tsukuyo ask some time later as she came out of the building.
"Zura drunk yet?"
"Very," Tsukuyo nodded.
"He's a soppy drunk," Gintoki explained.
"Yeah, I noticed," she said, ruefully.
"I've seen enough of that over the years," he sighed.
"Surprised ya not drunk right along with him. He says ya both always get sloshed this time o' year."
"Yeah," he mumbled and she sat beside him.
"But ya not?"
"Nope," he said, "Not yet anyway. Drinking's great, y'know. Lets you forget it all...for a bit. Then I just wake up with a splitting headache and I remember everything again and I feel a hundred times worse. Or maybe I'm just a useless drunk who likes drinking for the hell of it. Doesn't really matter, I guess."
"Well," Tsukuyo began, she moved closer to him and put her hand on his arm. "There's other ways of forgettin' stuff...nicer ways," she said, suggestively.
"Sorry, honey, never thought I'd say this...but not right now. You're as sexy as ever...but not here," he sighed. Despite that, he leaned against her and dropped his head onto her shoulder.
"Never thought I'd see the day you said 'no' to sex," she said, running her fingers gently through his hair.
"Well, I never thought I'd see the day you actually started saying the word 'sex'," he retorted.
"Shut it! I've said it plenty!"
"No, you've done it plenty..." he said and she lightly batted her hand against his head but then went back to running her fingers through his hair. "I hate it here," he admitted after a moment and closed his eyes. "I hate that burned down old school. I hate that grave. I hate this stupid little village and its stupid little temple and the rotten old bridge. I even hate those damned mountains over there. I hate the people here. And I hate the fact that I let Zura talk me into this in the first place. I just...really, really, really hate it here," he said, curling around her.
"Soon as the storm lets up, we'll leave. Promise," she told him, drawing her other arm around his back. "Even if we 'ave to walk all the way home," she added.
"I say we should leave now," Shinpachi declared. He and Kagura walked out of the building and slammed the shoji door closed behind them. "Katsura-san is singing Katsu-rap...over and over and over again," he grumbled, sitting down, "He's really bad," he said.
Both he and Kagura sat close to Gintoki and Tsukuyo. They'd long since stopped being shocked at the silver haired samurai closeness to Tsukuyo and though she still got embarrassed sometimes when their was an audience to that closeness, she didn't mind as much as she used to.
"Like you can talk. You're so off key when you sing we should call you Mr. Off Key, uh-huh," Kagura said to Shinpachi.
"What kinda name is that?!" the young samurai yelled at her and Gintoki gave a weak sounding snort of amusement into Tsukuyo's shoulder. "You're not much better, you know," Shinpachi retorted.
"But I'm cute. It makes my singing sound a hundred times better than it actually is, uh-huh," she nodded. "Nah, Gin-chan? The music industry is just a beauty contest, right? That's what you said, isn't it?" she asked, poking the samurai in his shoulder.
"That's right," he grumbled, slowly raising his head from Tsukuyo's shoulder.
"Heheh," Kagura grinned smugly at an indignant looking Shinpachi.
"Well, I'm..." Shinpachi began but stopped when someone yelled over him.
"Gintoki!" Katsura bellowed with a drunken grin. He stumbled out to them and more or less collapsed beside his friend. He was carrying a bottle of sake and two cups. "H...have a drink...w...with me..." he said, filling the cups with a shaking hand. "I...it's the only time of the year I drink this much...and I...I can't drink all by myself...it's too depressing," he said.
"You're the one who said to stay here. This whole damn place is depressing," Gintoki replied.
"Storm's too...too bad anyway...no leaving yet," Katsura shook his head and then forced one of the cups into Gintoki's hand. Then he threw his free arm around the silver haired samurai's shoulders so now, he was sat with Tsukuyo's arm around him as well as Katsura's.
"Idiot. How much have you drank already? Urgh...your breath stinks, were you eating garlic and onions for lunch or something?" Gintoki exclaimed, his nose crinkling at the smell.
"I brush after every meal!" Katsura insisted, sounding insulted.
"Sure you do."
"H...have a drink..." his friend said again. "Drink...it's easy..." he said, urging Gintoki to drink the sake in his cup.
"Fine, but I have to sing as well, I'm singing the Doraemon song and you're gonna hate it," Gintoki grumbled and downed the sake in one. He held it out to his friend who refilled it quickly.
Predictably, they were both drunk not long after and Gintoki was singing along badly to Katsura's song. He was still sat beside Tsukuyo and he refused to move.
"Joi is Joy! Joy is Joi!" they both sang, both grinning like the drunken idiots they were.
"JOIIIIII!" Kagura exclaimed and the two drunken samurai cheered.
"Don't encourage them, Kagura-chan," Shinpachi sighed. His cheeks were slightly flushed from the few drinks he'd had but thankfully he wasn't drunk.
"Divine punishment!" Katsura added, raising his fist in the air.
"Eh? Why?" Gintoki asked, confused.
"W...why what?"
"Why d...divineeeee punishmenttttt? Why rap?" he asked.
"W...why not?"
"Eh? Why not rap? Or why not punishment? Which one?"
"Err...dunno..."
"Arrrghhhh..." Gintoki let out a deep sigh.
"Again!" Katsura yelled.
"What again?"
"The chorus!"
"Why?"
"P...practice."
"Oh...'kay...then Doraemon song, yeah?"
"Joi first."
"Whatever."
"One, two tree...If you want to do it, do it now! Zura!" Katsura sang, patting the floor with his hands to make an equally bad rhythm.
"Eh? Do what?" Gintoki asked.
"M...meant to be singing the song! Idiot!" Katsura shoved Gintoki and he fell onto the floor.
"Piss off, Zura. I...I wanna sing Doraemon," Gintoki grumbled, trying and failing to get up.
"I hate Dor...Doraemoooon!"
"Well, I hate your stupid Katsu-rap!"
"It's not stupid Katsu-rap!"
Gintoki gave up trying to sit up and instead, he flopped onto his back with a groan. He turned his head and his eyes alighted on Tsukuyo who was watching him in a mix of frustration and pity.
"Eh, Tsukki! There you are," he exclaimed, happily.
"Been 'ere the whole time, ya idiot," she rolled her eyes.
"Don't let Zura sing anymore, please, I'm begging you," the silver haired samurai whispered, only he wasn't very quiet.
"I can hear you!" the other samurai slurred, still drinking.
Gintoki huffed as he moved closer to her again and then collapsed back onto the floor, resting his head on her lap.
"Ah, Tsukki," he sighed, "Glad you're still here. Thought you'd'a left by now."
"Ya drunk," she told him with a sigh.
"Oh yeah," he nodded, closing his eyes. "I ever tell you, I drink like crazy this time o' year? Meant to. Was gonna get round to it," he mumbled.
"I knew. Otose told me," Tsukuyo said.
"That haaaag."
"Kids told me too."
"Traitors," he glared at Shinpachi and Kagura.
"We were worried about you, Gin-san," Shinpachi admitted, "You've disappeared on benders before but...this time of year is always worse."
"I haaaaaaate...this time o' year," he slurred. "An' this damn place. I hate it," he said, tracing the leaf pattern on Tsukuyo's kimono around her knees with his index finger.
"I know," she said, sadly.
"How?"
"Ya told me."
"Oh...right," Gintoki mumbled. "Sing something," he said unexpectedly and he looked up at her.
"Eh? Me? Sing? No, no way," she exclaimed.
"Why?"
"I...can't sing," she admitted.
"Really?"
"Nope. Really can't."
"Huh...well, do it anyway, maybe you're not that bad."
"It is that bad!"
"But..."
"No," she reiterated and put her hand over his mouth. "I ain't singin'," she insisted.
"Fiiiine," he drawled and took her hand and moved it off his mouth and held hers on his chest. "Oi...someone go...go find a thing...a...err...a shamisen then. I'm tired o' Katsu-rap," he said.
"I can't play either," Tsukuyo told him.
"I caaaaan."
"Music night?" Kagura asked, eagerly.
"Damn right!" Gintoki happily pointed at her.
"Yaaaaaay!" she yelled and ran off to find a shamisen.
She returned quickly, carrying an old battered instrument and handed it to the drunken, silver haired samurai. He blinked at it and sat up, swaying as plucked at the strings, staring at it with an almost painful look of concentration.
"Play...play Joi is Joy!" Katsura exclaimed with childlike glee.
"NO!"
"Whyyyy?!"
"Not supposed ta play drunk...can't remember why... Gintoki grumbled at the instrument as it made a loud, awful screech. "Oooops..." he mumbled and hiccuped.
"Joi is Joy!" Katsura repeated.
"NO!" Gintoki said again.
"Jerk," Katsura sulked, crossing his arms like a petulant child.
After a fumbling start and several minutes of cursing and grumbling at the instrument, he played an old song that was hauntingly beautiful and melancholic. It was a short song but it had them enraptured until the end.
"Why'd you play such a sad song, Gin-chan?!" Kagura exclaimed. She was weeping a river of tears and wiping at her eyes. "Soooooo sad whyyyyyy?" she cried, "You broke my eyes! I need new eyes!"
"What was that?" Shinpachi asked, solemnly.
"Sensei's favourite song," Katsura answered when Gintoki didn't. "I'd forgot that old thing," he said.
The silver haired samurai began to play again but the same song came to mind again. He stopped and swore at the instrument then tried again, only to play the same song.
"Damn thing's broken," he said and tossed the instrument aside.
"It's probably crying too, uh-huh," Kagura remarked, still weeping.
"It's broke," he insisted with a sniffle. "Now I remember why I don't play drunk. The damn things always break," he grumbled.
"It was beautiful," Tsukuyo told him.
"Was horrible. Stupid old song," he replied.
"Told you...should've stuck with Katsu-raaaap," Katsura said. He shuffled close to a Gintoki and handed him a cup of sake again.
"Yeah," Gintoki mumbled.
"So...from the top!"
"To the Shiroyashaaaaa!" Katsura said, raising his cup some time later when they were both even more drunk. "T...the strongest Joiiiiii rebel!" he declared.
"To the Raaaaampaging cuckolding Noble Zura!" Gintoki retorted, knocking his cup against his friends' and they both burst out into uncontrollable laughter.
"Y...you s...said cuckold!" Katsura chortled, red in the face as he collapsed onto this friend.
"That's your thing!" Gintoki laughed, "Y'freak!"
"Nooooo, it's not!"
"Yes, it iiiissss...Zuuuraaaa."
"Z...Zura ja nai," Katsura giggled.
"Zuuuraaaaaa."
"Oi...l...let's bring Sakamoto next time."
"Why...why did we call him the loud one again?"
"'Cause...'cause...see...it was better than calling him the greedy one," Katsura mock whispered in his ear with another giggle. "H...he was...always going on and on and on about...money...right?"
"Oh right..."
Katsura refilled his cup again, most of it spilling onto his hand and then he raised it again. "To sensei," he said.
"To sensei," Gintoki said. "You sadistic b******! WHERE THE HECK DOES 'AROUND THERE' EVEN MEAN?!" he yelled.
"Naaaaaah...Gintokiiiii...why doesn't your girlfriend drink with uuussss?" Katsura slurred.
"'Cause...'cause then she'll kill ussss."
"Oh," he said, nodding as though it made perfect sense. "She's pretty," he added.
"Soooooo pretty," Gintoki agreed.
"I'm right 'ere, y'know," Tsukuyo reminded them with a light blush.
"And deadly," the silver haired samurai continued, "Pretty and deadly...did I say deadly?"
"Think so...yeah," Katsura nodded.
"Waaaa...what a sexy combi...combeeee...it's sexy."
"This is stupid," Tsukuyo muttered, embarrassed.
"I don't think we should leave them," Shinpachi sighed, "If only so they don't pass out drunk and die."
"At least you know even when Gin-chan's drunk he still really likes you, uh-huh, Tsukki," Kagura grinned at her. She'd been playing idly with the shaimsen, plucking the strings and humming off key.
"Not my type...she's...she doesn't have a...a husband...can't...not as fun then..." Katsura was telling his friend.
"So..." Gintoki began, "Y'saying...if I married her...theeen you'd try and make a move?"
"Eh?" Tsukuyo frowned.
"But only if I was still alive?" Gintoki furrowed his brow, "If I...I died after I married her...then you'd leave her alone?"
"That's it! That's cuckoldry!" Katsura said, happily laughing, "Hah hah hah..."
"B******, you'd even try it on with my wife! You're dead!" he yelled and leapt onto his friend and then punched him in the face.
"Eh? Wife? Did you guys get married?" Kagura asked Tsukuyo.
"You're not married, so it's fine!" Katsura yelled at Gintoki, trying to shield his face.
"Diiieeeeee!"
"Zuuuuuraaaa...is there reeeaaally nothing going on?"
"Eh?" Katsura asked. Both of them were lying down on the floor and muttering to each other.
"With Iku...Ikumat...that ramen lady?" Gintoki clarified.
"N...no!"
"Why?" he asked, tugging at his friend's long hair. "Oiiii...whyyyy?" he drawled.
"...'Cause..."
"'Cause why?"
"'Cause she...loved her husband...he...he's dead...sss not...good...not honoraaable."
"You like her," Gintoki declared with a grin.
"T...there's nothing..."
"Zuraaaa loves the ramen lady," he sang, childishly.
"Oi!" Katsura sat up shakily and glared at him.
"Zuraaaa loves the ramen lady," Gintoki repeated.
"Shut up!"
"Zuraaaa loves the...arghhhhh!" he began again but Katsura threw one of the long since empty cups at him and he curled up into a ball to protect himself.
"I said, shut up!" Katsura growled.
"Well, you do! I know yooooou!" Gintoki said, pointing a wavering finger at him as he too pushed himself up. "You like her," he repeated and poked Katsura's nose with his finger. "Stupid Zuraaaa. I'm not a blind idiot. Even you don't love ramen...thaaat much..." he said.
"Fiiiine!" Katsura exclaimed, shoving Gintoki's hand away. "Maybe...maybe I do...like her," he said.
"Kneeeeew it!"
Katsura flopped back onto the floor with his arms spread out and he sighed heavily. "What should I do?" he mused.
"Take her out...for ramen," Gintoki said. He started perfectly seriously and then he started laughing uncontrollably when he said 'ramen.'
"Bastard," Katsura grumbled.
"Worked f'me," Gintoki said, still laughing.
"Neeeh? G...Gintokiiiii...y'know y'can count on me f'anything...right?" Katsura slurred.
"Huh? Sureeeee," Gintoki drawled back as Katsura slung an arm around him.
"Like...blowing up the Shinsengumi...or blowing up the Bakfu or blowing up the..."
"I don't want help...blowing things up...y'bomb crazy moron!"
"But if y'did..."
"I don't!"
"M'kay then...but if you ever do...I...still owe you one...from Ikedaya...right?"
"D'you? I forgot."
"Did I pay you back f'that...can't remember..." Katsura furrowed his brow, confused. "Whatever, I still probably owe you f'something anyway," he added. "So I owe you...hey...did I ever tell you that I always..." he hiccuped and stopped talking.
"What?"
"I always...felt bad..."
"'Bout what?"
"You...never had an army...in the war like the rest of us...I did...Takasuki did, even Sakamoto did..."
"Takasuki did it just to blend in."
"Yeah, I know..." Katsura giggled. "But you didn't...you didn't need one...you were an army..."
"Just didn't want the hassle...training a whoooooole army...what a pain in the a**."
"Maybe...y'should've got one...used to send you in alone...not fair..."
"A general has to use what he's got..right? Isn't that...what y'used t'say? And yooouuu were the general! That's what you always said! Bossy little kid, y'were. I ain't a general...too much work. S'boring. Don't mind being your ace...less of a pain in the a**."
"That's...right...but..y'not a robot...maybe I used y'too much. But...it was fun...they'd be soooooo scared of you...just you...imagine if you'd had an army...an army of Shiroyasha's they'd have wet their pants!"
"Some of them did, y'know!"
"I know!" Katsura chortled.
"Wasn't bad...was I?" Gintoki mumbled, sounding both proud and ashamed at the same time.
"Y...you were the best!"
"Still lost though...didn't we?"
"Yeah..." Katsura's smile faded and he sighed. "The war...and sensei...Takasuki...all our comrades..." he said.
"So what was the point?" Gintoki lamented.
"Makes y'wonder...doesn't it? But...we'd make the same choice...if we went back..."
"S'what's pathetic about it," the silver haired samurai snorted.
"I guess...But...y'should know...once a Jouishishi...always a Jouishishi...I'd be right there...if y'needed me...me and the other Jouishishi...and Sakamoto's army too. Who needs Takasuki! We'll take him on together! That stupid, no good punk!"
"That's right! To hell with him!" Gintoki shook his fist at the ceiling, "Die, y'bastard!"
"...Y'miss him too, huh?" Katsura sighed.
"I hated him," Gintoki insisted.
"Yeah...me too."
"Seriously...what'd y'do?" Katsura asked.
"Eh?"
"Y'never...had a woman stick around this long b'fore...how'd y'do it?"
"It? I'm...not explaining the little samurai birdsssss and bees t'you...we're too old...and too drunk...go watch some porn or something," Gintoki slurred back.
"I know 'bout that!" Katsura yelled, "And that's not what I meant!"
"Actually...watching porn drunk's kinda fun...y'wanna?" Gintoki asked his friend with a grin.
"NO!"
"Why can't they just pass out already?" Shinpachi bemoaned as he blushed again.
"Prude," Gintoki taunted Katsura.
"Idiots never pass out drunk," Kagura said.
"Should've bought a camera," Tsukuyo sighed. "If we filmed this and showed 'em, they might never drink again."
"I don't think we're that lucky," Shinpachi replied.
"I'm not a prude!" Katsura exclaimed.
"You totally are," Gintoki laughed, "You called 's**' 'it'...what're you? Ten?"
"I wasn't talking 'bout that!"
"Yes, you were! Y'such a kid..."
"I'll kill you!" the long haired samurai screamed. When he leapt up to attack his friend he had to stop and a disgusted expression took over his face. He brought up a hand to his mouth and clutched at his stomach with the other. "Uh oh. Gonna b'sick," Katsura declared.
"Urgh...me too," Gintoki covered his mouth and they both ran to the shoji door, slammed it open and then stumbled outside to throw up while Kagura laughed at them. Both of them passed out not long after.
The next morning, huddled around Tsukuyo, Gintoki woke with a splitting headache in an unfamiliar room in the old village. Across the same room, Kagura and Shinpachi were asleep, huddled in their futons, or at least they were pretending to be asleep.
"I feel siiiick," Gintoki muttered. His face was pressed into her stomach and he clutched at her like a lifeline as he hid under the covers, hiding from the early morning light.
"Ya drank too much," Tsukuyo replied.
"Never...never drinking again...mean it this time..."
"Sure ya do," she said in a disbelieving tone. It didn't stop her from soothingly running her hand along his back though.
"Urrrrgh...my head huuurts! Make it stooooop," he groaned.
"Would if I could."
"Hate this time of year...really...really...really..."
"I know," Tsukuyo said, "I know."
"I'm never...ever drinking again..."
"Don't make promises ya can't keep," she said with a small smile, stroking her hand through his hair.
"Ahhh...feels nice," he sighed. "Least...you didn't turn into the drunk terminator," he added.
"No. Ya both just turned into even bigger idiots than ya already are," Tsukuyo retorted.
"That's what booze does...I say anything stupid?"
"No more than usual," she said. She couldn't help but remember that he'd said the words 'marriage' and 'my wife' and it made her feel flustered. Neither of them was the marrying kind. But then, she'd never have thought that they'd still be together after over a year either.
"Y'sure?" he asked.
"Mmmm," she nodded. "Nothin'. Ya did play a really nice song on the shamisen though," she said.
"Damn. There's a reason I don't play it drunk..." Gintoki breathed, sadly, "Always forget though..."
"Yeah, so ya said. It was a sad song."
"Hmmm...guess it is kinda sad," he mumbled and nuzzled his face against her stomach. "Thanks...for coming here with me," he whispered.
"Anytime," she said, genuinely. "Would ya have asked us...if we hadn't found those train tickets?" she asked, "If we hadn't kept pestering ya for an explanation?"
A few days ago, she along with Kagura and Shinpachi had found four train tickets left on his desk. Whether Gintoki had left them there purposely to be found or he'd simply been too lazy to hide them, they didn't know. But he'd waited until the very last minute on the day the train was set to depart before he'd blurted out what he was doing and where he was going.
"Was going to..." he mumbled. "Meant to...I got four tickets, didn't I, and they're not cheap. Did the same thing last year too, got three tickets for me and them and then I just...chickened out and didn't tell them about it. What a waste of money that was. I just..."
"What?"
"I hate this place...so damn much. I hate coming here. Thought maybe if I got you guys to come with me it wouldn't be so bad. But even in my head it sounds so pathetic," Gintoki said with a quiet sniffle. "I still miss him...and I'm the one who killed him...do I even have the right to miss him?" he admitted. "Probably not..." he trailed off.
"I don't know what happened...not all of it," Tsukuyo began. "But I know you. Can't have been easy. What kinda cruel bastard would make someone choose between their friends or their sensei?"
"Those Tendoshu b*******..." Gintoki said, holding her tightly. "There was too many of them. They would'a killed Zura or Takasuki or both of them before I could've got them all. Sensei told me...when they took him...to protect them. What was I supposed to do? I didn't have a choice...right? And he said 'thank you'...right before I...What a fucking mess, right?"
"It's not pathetic," she told him, "And it wasn't ya fault. He knew ya were saving them, he knew you cared, he must've. That's why he said it. He must've cared about them and ya, a lot."
"Didn't do him much good, did it?" he grit his teeth.
"S'that what ya nightmares've been about all last week?"
"Yeah...always happens," he admitted, his voice muffled.
"Could've just told me, idiot," Tsukuyo rolled her eyes.
"S'too pathetic."
"Ain't pathetic," she said, lightly swatting her hand over his head. "I killed my master too...I get it," she said.
"Your master was trying to kill you and everyone in Yoshiwara. He was a b******."
"Tried to kill ya too."
"Lots of people try to kill me, I try not to hold a grudge...much," he shrugged.
"I dream about it...but I don't really feel all that guilty about it...not sure if that's worse," she said.
"He tricked you. He let you think he was dead. He used you...all to make you 'better prey' or something. That's not what a sensei does. Mine never would've...You shouldn't feel guilty about killing him," Gintoki told her.
"Probably not."
"...You mad at me?" he after after a minute.
"What for?" she asked, confused.
"Hmmm...aren't women usually mad when guys keep secrets?"
"What? Ya been sleepin' round behind my back or somethin'?"
"Well, I do a lot of things with your back..." he said thoughtful and she slapped him again. "Owwwww...domestic violence!" he cried under the covers.
"Not what I meant! Get ya head outta the gutter!"
"I like my head where it is, thanks...except for the hangover. And anyway, where'd that question come from? Why would I do that?"
"Those are the kind of secrets that'll get you into trouble with women, ya idiot. Ya could've just told me about all this...but I kinda get why ya didn't. But I ain't mad," she said.
Honestly, it was all too sad to make her angry. Over the last few week he'd been melancholic and moody, not his usual self at all, he'd been keeping his distance and having horrific nightmares and she'd had no idea why because he wouldn't explain it to her. Until Otose and Kagura and Shinpachi told her that it happened every year without fail. They hadn't known much, only that he'd wake up screaming 'sensei' and drink even more than usual.
"You're not?" he asked in disbelief.
"I'm not," Tsukuyo reiterated.
"Even though I've been a jerk?"
"Y'kinda were a jerk, a first class jerk," she agreed.
"Sorry. I'll make it up to you...and them..."
"They deserve better than that. Ya lucky they haven't run off if they've put up with this before," she said.
"I know," he sighed. "S'why I stay out f'days...just drinking...leave them outta it...used to be worse...waaaaay worse. Surprised you're still here, too."
"Must be a glutton for punishment, huh?"
"Well, you do have a masochistic side..." he said, prompting her to slap him again. "And a sadistic side..." he added.
"Idiot," she grumbled. "Next time just tell us. Then ya won't 'ave t'be a moody jerk. Don't be such a stranger...didn't ya tell me that? Why don't ya take ya own advice, huh?"
"Hmmm," Gintoki hummed, "S'long as you're not mad."
"I ain't."
"Good," he said, relaxing against her, "You're scary when you're mad. Really damn sexy, too...but scary...really, really scary."
"Then don't go sleepin' round behind my back."
"What is it with you? I thought you liked it when I was behind you in bed and..."
"Shut it!" she yelled and he winced.
"My head...Tsukki...inside voice...please, I'm begging you..."
"They're awake, y'idiot," she muttered, blushing.
"Who?" he grumbled.
"Kagura and Shinpachi!"
"Course they are, they're eavesdroppers. Get used to it already. Oi, you two, quit it with the bad acting, I heard you laughing over there."
"Err...morning, Gin-san, Tsukuyo-san..." Shinpachi said, sheepishly.
"Is my eavesdropping getting better, Gin-chan?" Kagura asked. She threw off the covers of her futon and stared eagerly over at them even though he was still huddled underneath his own covers.
"No. It's still terrible, stupid kid," he muttered back but she just grinned. "I'm hungry, go find some food," he told them.
"Yes, sir!" Kagura stood up and saluted.
"'Please' might help," Shinpachi said as he grabbed Kagura's wrist and stopped her from walking away.
"Fiiiine...please go get some food. I'm hungover and I feel like crap and I don't know if I'm hungry or if I'm just gonna throw up again but pleeeaseeee feeed meeee," Gintoki said, fumbling with the covers to poke his head out from under them. He winced as the morning light assaulted his red rimmed, tired eyes and he groaned.
"Okay," the young samurai said with a kind smile and both he and Kagura walked over to the door. "But, Gin-san...please don't run off by yourself anymore because of this. We'll come here with you every year so you won't have to come alone, we're family aren't we? Last time you were gone for a whole week...we were worried...you barely made it home...we thought maybe something worse would happen this year," he said.
"I always make it back, quit worrying," Gintoki said, dismissively.
"Worry doesn't have a switch!" Kagura yelled and he winced again. "What kind of kid did we raise, huh?! Worrying your poor parents like this, year after week! Mami and Papi can't take much more of this!" she wept dramatically.
"Erm..." Tsukuyo blinked.
"What c****y tv show did you learn that from?" Gintoki asked, unfazed.
"Making it through ya b******, uh-huh, episode 341!" Kagura said, stopping her crying instantly with a smile.
"Geez," Gintoki yawned. "Not that again," he moaned as he lay back down slowly. "Arrrgh...my head," he mumbled, snuggling his head into the pillow with a sigh, "S'gonna explode...that's it...I'm dead...it's all over...Gin-san's done for. I'm dying...ahhhh I can see a light..."
"Don't go to the light, Gin-chan!" Kagura exclaimed into his ear, "Don't give up!"
"Whaaaaaa!" he cried and threw the covers over his head. "Tsukki...save me..." he begged.
"Let's go, Kagura-chan," Shinpachi said, "I'm hungry too."
"I hope they have egg over rice," she nodded, "I'll bring back lots, uh-huh."
"Not again," Gintoki mumbled.
"I'll bring something else," Shinpachi told the older samurai.
"Why?! What's wrong with egg over rice?" Kagura demanded as they left the room.
"Ooiiiii...where you going?" Gintoki mumbled when Tsukuyo sat up.
"Someone'd better check on the other drunken idiot," she said, "Unless ya want him to die."
"Zura? Well...I dunno...let me think about it."
"...Is he really that into all that...cuckoldry stuff?" she couldn't help but ask.
"Oh yeah, big time," Gintoki sighed, "His first love was a neighbourhood widow, y'know. Never made a move though...not honourable or something like that. Stupid kid he was."
"S'kinda weird."
"Don't worry," he yawned. "He ain't gonna try anything...you're not married," he said.
"But...if I was?"
"Eh? What?" his eyes snapped open. "Why does this feel like deja-vu?" he said, "Are you secretly married? Does this mean I'm just as freaky as him now? Have we had this conversation before? Arrghhh my head..."
"Err...no...we haven't. And I ain't married, jerk," she said.
"Good. All that freaky cuckoldry s*** ain't for me. I prefer some nice S&M play..." he trailed off.
"I know, I know," she rolled her eyes.
"So do you," he managed a small grin.
"...Erm..." she flushed a little. "I'm err...gonna go check on...yeah..." she said, pointing at the door and then made a hasty exit.