Rain & Fall: Aftermath/Side story
a/n: Here's a useless side story becos Star7 left me/us. (lol) Miss you, Starry! Basically, I don't know what I'm writing here, hahaha. I guess I just want to satisfy my fangirl musings. Addicted to SD, here it is now. (off to read fics & update other mediocre stories of mine)
Friday evening, 9:00 PM
Fukuda puffed out a smoke as he stood and stare out of the balcony to his room. The heavy downpour of the rain finally subsided, it was a sudden outpour and Fukuda thought of going out but seems like he'd be stuck for the whole evening. Truth is, he was contemplating of going someplace. He pressed his stick onto a nearby ashtray and decided on one thing. He pulled out his sketchpad and started continuing the art he's been trying to finish. A knock on the door after a few minutes of sketching interrupted him.
Fukuda scoffed lightly and stared at the closed door. "Yeah." He muttered uninterestingly. The door peeped open and it was his mother. "Kicchan…you have a visitor." The lady softly muttered. Fukuda almost rolled his eyes. He never wanted for anyone to know, him, being referred to as 'Kicchan.' He nodded his thanks and pushed his chair, stood up and went down.
Fukuda was greeted by the mess his younger siblings made in the living room. The twins were running around, with lego blocks scattered around and plushies and other toys. "Hey guys, tidy up will you." He reminded the two identical five-year olds but they just ignored him.
"Kicchan, will you tidy them up before going up?" His mother requested from the kitchen. Fukuda scoffed and scratched his cheek. "Yeah sure…" He muttered as he walked towards the door. He opened their wooden door and was surprise to see who it was. Fukuda blinked his astonishment.
"Hey. Sorry for dropping by." It was Sendoh. The Ryonan Ace shifted his umbrella and it was when Fukuda realised that his colleague was soaked. He snorted softly and nodded his head. "Come on in."
Sendoh removed his shoes and placed his umbrella on a parasol stand and stepped inside; he paused for awhile and stared at Fukuda. "S'okay man." Sendoh curtly smiled and nodded his thanks.
"Kicchan… who's your visitor?" His mother asked and peeped from the kitchen. Fukuda felt a vein popped, no one-and literally no one from school or his team knew that he's Kicchan at home. "Erm—a classmate, okaasan." Sendoh's eyes widened a bit, gaping a bit at what he heard but just smiled, his eyes seemingly warm and… something else Fukuda cant quite get a grip on. Fukuda's mother stared and smiled. Sendoh bowed his thanks. "I'm sorry Fukuda-san for imposing." Sendoh muttered.
The mother approached him and chuckled softly, realising she's seen him before and waving off Sendoh's formalities. "Ahh, you're from the basketball team as well, oh come on in—sorry for the mess. Come in, come in." She stared at his son. "Kicchan, lend him a change of clothes." Sendoh raised his hand. "Ah n-no, its okay Fukuda-san, I'm not gonna stay long…"
"Nonsense, you're soaking wet… just hurry along now. I'll make you some tea." Fukuda's mother went back to the kitchen and busied herself. Sendoh sighed, feeling a tad bit embarrassed, he stared at Fukuda almost helplessly. "Sorry." Fukuda simply smirked and shrugged. "Lets go up." The two boys walked past the living room and Sendoh was surprised when two identical boys lounged at his leg, clutching him.
"Play!"
"Play with us!"
Sendoh was surprised, he stared at Fukuda who had his hands on his hips and tried to pry the two kids away from Sendoh's legs. "Hey, let go now guys… I'll play with you later." He stated as he pulled two squirming kids. Sendoh softly chuckled and crouched down, beckoning the two boys back at him. "S'okay man… hey, how do you kids do?" Sendoh grinned. Fukuda simply snorted and watched the three.
"Soo, what are your names?" Sendoh asked, smiling at the two active kids.
"This is Kira, and this is Kaede." Fukuda drearily stated. "They're five and they're identical." Sendoh was beyond stupefied as he found his eyes darting upwards Fukuda. The latter had his lips tugged up in a smirk. Sendoh's look was that of the 'are you fucking kidding me' look. It could've chopped off Fukuda's precious dreadlocks.
Fukuda sensing it was too much for Sendoh, chortled and turned his back. "Gotcha." Sendoh scoffed, a scowl marring his handsome features as he almost glared at Fukuda.
"This is Kento and this is Kenji." Fukuda snorted and nod his head. "Come on up now, man."
Sendoh nodded as he stared at the two boys, smiling as if expectant of him. He grinned and ruffled their hair. "Play with us!" They chorused. Sendoh nodded. "Sure, a bit later okay? We'll play ball, you liked that?" Sendoh exclaimed. The two boys raised their hands and shouted. "Yeeahhh!" Sendoh grinned and stood up, able to coaxed the two boys as they went back to their mess. Sendoh followed Fukuda upstairs.
"So, this my room—it's a bit messy." Fukuda stated as the two tall boys went in. Sendoh partly roam around his eyes but did not bother about how the room looked. Its doesn't seem messy at all, his was quite the same. "Nice balcony." Sendoh muttered. Fukuda simply snorted as he got a change of shirt and pants, and a towel from his closet. "Here man, I have an en suite bathroom." Fukuda stated. Sendoh nodded his thanks and went inside the shower room.
Fukuda took in the moment to tidy up a few things then left the room. A few minutes later Sendoh emerged wearing their white Ryonan basketball shirt and jogging pants. Good thing he and Fukuda's built is almost the same. Sendoh was toweling his hair and walked over towards an empty chair to sit when his eyes caught glimpsed of a table—and a sketchpad. His eyes stared at Fukuda's art, partly amazed at his colleague's skill on sketching. It seemed like a basketball court, lined with fence and trees, the minute details, the shading—and two seemingly players, on court. He hasn't finished drawing the players though. Just a rough outline. He never thought of Fukuda as someone with another skill.
The door opened and Fukuda came in with a tray on hand and two cups of tea and some Danish pastries. Sendoh nodded when Fukuda handed him a cup. "Thanks, Kicchan." Sendoh joked—and grinned. Fukuda scowled but smirked right after. "Shut up, Rukawa." Sendoh coughed—surprised at what Fukuda said. The latter simply smirking and walking towards his open balcony. "Chill man, just sit wherever."
Sendoh nodded his thanks, he sat down on the edge of the bed; feeling the hot cup in between his large hands. Silence. Neither one of them broke the stillness. Sendoh continued to sip onto his cup of tea—its herbaceous aroma sending a calm wave over him and his racing thoughts. Fukuda continued puffing in some smoke while leaning on the sliding door of the balcony.
"If you're wondering why Kento and Kenji looked different from me—its because they're my stepbrothers." Fukuda suddenly stated out of nowhere. Sendoh blinked his eyes in surprised, not quite expecting that-its not even a question, it didn't even cross his mind; but maybe… its Fukuda's way of opening up to him and that alone sending him a message that he trusts him. Sendoh looked up at Fukuda who was staring back at him.
"S'okay, no problem." Sendoh stated. Fukuda simply shrugged but he smiled. He heaved a sigh. "My mother remarried when my father died so…" He trailed off to which Sendoh simply nodded.
"My stepfather… he works overseas, a structural engineer." A pause as he puffs out smoke. "Comes home every two years." Fukuda paused and stared at Sendoh who was listening. "A good man, good provider, supports my art—loves my mother." He smirked as he stared outside. "Guess we're lucky."
Sendoh nodded. "That's… great to hear."
Understanding now quite a bit about a colleague. Its rather personal, but Fukuda chose to say it to him and he deemed of it as… an honor for him to be rather receiving this quite important information. Family after all doesn't merely define the same people within the members of the house… it could encompass the people around you, sometimes… even classmates and to others, strangers alike.
"Look what I got." Fukuda stated, holding a seemingly opened bottle of Vodka. Sendoh snorted. "Thought we're having tea and biscuits." Fukuda chuckled as he opened another drawer on his mini bar and got two lowball glasses. "You're not British." Sendoh chuckled. "You gave these to me." Fukuda scoffed. "It was my mother. I'd give you nothing." The two boys laughed at their silly conversations.
"Hold up for a minute." Fukuda exited the room to Sendoh's bewilderment and a few minutes later returned with some pineapple juice and a glass full of ice. "What are we drinking for?" Sendoh uttered. Fukuda prepared everything neatly and scoffed upon hearing Sendoh's query. "Well, I don't know, depends on what you're telling me." Fukuda wryly smiled and Sendoh could only blinked.
Sendoh sipped on his glass of pineapple mixed with Vodka, tasting the sweetness and biting flavor of alcohol, perfectly rolling in the inside of his mouth, and said nothing, eyes staring on the oakwood floor. He looked up upon remembering something. "Saw your art by the way, never knew you had the talent. Its amazing." Fukuda simply scoffed and continued smoking. "Its nothing." A pause. "Thanks."
Sendoh shrugged. "Nothing? Its sick. I mean… it looks great." Sendoh stood up and stared at the sketchpad once again. "You plan on pursuing this?"
Fukuda placed his stick on an ashtray and walked towards Sendoh, checking on his art as well. "Yeah. I mean, I could still play ball and draw, couldn't I?" Sendoh smiled and nodded as he looked at Fukuda. "Sounds just about right." Fukuda sighed and sat at his swiveling chair. "How about you? Where do you plan to go in college?"
Sendoh placed his glass on top of Fukuda's dresser and walked towards the balcony, feeling the soft breeze of the after rain. His mind is somewhat still in the stage of… denial after what just happened awhile ago with his tryst with Rukawa. It was pathetic, really. Its probably true that people wouldn't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed.
"You okay?" Fukuda queried, leaning back on his comfy chair, swiveling it a bit. Sendoh involuntarily swallowed and his eyes darted towards a pack of menthol lights. Fukuda's eyes widened when he saw Sendoh getting one stick, placing it in his mouth, grabbing the lighter and is trying to flicker it—just sparks flailing out but no flame. The wind is hindering him so. Sendoh cursed, his brows furrowed as he tried to flicked some more.
Fukuda stood up and grab the lighter from the Ryonan Ace and with one flick of a finger, it lit open. Sendoh dibbed on his stick and in no time was puffing smoke. He took the stick with his thumb and index finger and flicked the burnt tobacco on a nearby ashtray. Fukuda simply got his own stick into his lips and stepped outside of the balcony. "Its cool out here, man." Fukuda stated. Sendoh momentarily looked at Fukuda and stepped out as well.
Fukuda's balcony wasn't that too big, but its big enough for the both of them. He had a small coffee table outside with one chair and some succulents on top of the table. Sendoh inhaled the tobacco and puffed out smoke, his eyes lingering as far as to where it can reach. He saw the dark grey sky—starless. The moon partly obscured by nimbus clouds. Sendoh heaved a sigh and wistfully stared across at nothing in particular.
"I went someplace awhile ago…" He started. Fukuda didn't flinch but he was listening. Sendoh snorted. "…to a good place—just like you said." Sendoh muttered, this earned a look from Fukuda. Sendoh smiled almost pensively and placed the cig in his lips, inhaled and exhaled.
"What good place?" Fukuda asked. Sendoh stared and almost rolled his eyes, he can't believe Fukuda didn't remember. Fukuda smirked and shook his head. "Kidding. I know what I said." A pause. "Ah… so you went to this good place, filled with…" A pause. Fukuda stared at his companion. "…hope, I presume." Sendoh kept his silence, and in that particular night, he told Fukuda once again the details of what happened.
Sendoh's mind wandered off—back on the grassy slope, beneath the countless stars and crescent moon, hovering around him, his mind went back as far as that—that seemingly moment where he defied his unsureness and went out against all odds. And in that given second, he found himself confessing—declaring his love to Rukawa Kaede. He thought he said it straight from the heart—no pretentions, just pure, honest feelings. And somehow, he had hope Rukawa would understand.
"Only that you didn't actually hoped—you ended up expecting?" Fukuda stated. "Am I… right?" Sendoh gasped a bit, eyes turning to his left to meet Fukuda's almost collected gaze. Fukuda blew some smoke and tapped his stick. He turned around, leaning back on the balcony railing and staring up at the night sky. "What were you expecting anyway?"
That question. It was that particular query—that seemingly million-dollar question. Indeed, what was he—expecting anyway? Sendoh felt his left hand twitched. He placed the stick between his lips and inhaled—blowing out smoke after a few seconds. "That he'd…" Sendoh started, his mind raising arguments against his chest. "… understand." He finished rather lowly.
"Are you sure?" Fukuda prodded. Sendoh was silent. He knew deep inside of him; it wasn't just that. He was silently expecting Rukawa would have felt the same. Only that he didn't. Sendoh shrugged. "I… I don't know." A pause. "All I know is that… he won't let me." Sendoh trailed off almost breathily. Sendoh scoffed and ran a hand onto his hair, leaned on the railing, a forlorn smile on his lips, his eyes mellow and empty into the night. Silence ensued. Fukuda said nothing as he lit up another stick.
And in the stillness of the night, the truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, the situation, and unless you realised that the situation is over—you cannot move forward.
"I actually was gonna show you something." Fukuda muttered, deciding on his matter. Sendoh blinked his eyes, wondering. Fukuda fished for his phone, flipped it open and flashed the phonebook section to Sendoh.
Sendoh squinted his eyes on Fukuda's phonebook. He furrowed his brows. Fukuda snorted. "I got his number."
Sendoh gasped, eyes darting at Fukuda, feeling the racing of his chest—his mind deciphering yet confused. "You got his what?" He queried. Fukuda scoffed. "I have Rukawa's number. I was gonna message you earlier man, so I was surprised that you came over tonight." A pause. Sendoh's perturbed gaze tells Fukuda everything that he wasn't expecting this part of 'this' night.
"…and well, was even more surprised to hear you already went over to meet and confess." Fukuda ended.
"H-how did you get his number?" Sendoh asked with much intrigued. Fukuda shrugged. "Turns out I got a classmate who's got a younger sister enrolled in Shohoku High. His sister is Rukawa Kaede's classmate—the class president, she's got everyone's numbers." A smirk. "Tough luck, huh." Fukuda uttered.
Sendoh was stupefied, as he felt even more defeated than before. The irony of love is too much to handle.
"I only got his number like—today, bro. So…" Fukuda added, just in case Sendoh thought of otherwise.
Sendoh scoffed and went silent. "I'll forward it to you." Fukuda tapped a few buttons and soon enough Sendoh heard his phone 'beeped'. He could only chuckle dryly. "What do I need this for?"
Fukuda shrugged. "I don't know… bet his number on the lottery?" A smirked. Sendoh could only scoffed as he pressed his button to see a received message: Business Card: Rukawa Kaede +1-614-XXX-XXXX Save? Yes? No? Despite the heartache, Sendoh found his thumb pressing Yes.
"It sure sucks to be you right now." Fukuda muttered. He went inside to get their drinks and returned. Sendoh stared—then chuckled softly, shaking his head. Fukuda simply smirked, holding their two lowball glasses and placing atop the coffee table. "Rukawa sure had the balls to finish you."
"We both have…" Sendoh smirked, rubbing his face with his hand, feeling the warmth of his face brought about by alcohol. "…balls." Sendoh grinned, his mind going jade for a bit. He got his glass and started drinking. Fukuda rolled his eyes. "He has more balls than you—he's got eleven." Fukuda muttered flippantly, inhaling smoke, puffing it out and drinking as well.
Sendoh chuckled, running a hand again onto his soft unspiked hair—making them looked like fringes.
"You need gel for that?" Fukuda uttered, smirking. Sendoh chuckled. "Not tonight." Fukuda simply jeered and continued drinking and smoking.
"You confessed with that shit hair of yours?" Fukuda stated.
Sendoh nodded, chuckling at Fukuda's words "Yeah, thought he'd find me… appealing in it." Fukuda laughed lowly. "Maybe he thought you were someone else—like some impostor." Sendoh laughed.
"Some dickhead declaring his love at me acting like he's that no-good Sendoh-passing- bastard from Ryonan." Fukuda stated in a Rukawa made-up voice; Sendoh chuckling, eyes crinkled in inverted crescents as he welcomes Fukuda's seemingly frivolous nature.
"Didn't know you were funny." Sendoh said in between his chortles. Fukuda scoffed. "I'm not. I hate fun." Sendoh grinned.
Fukuda clacked his tongue, smirking as he did so. "What a fucking cold-hearted bastard." Pause. "Well, at least he didn't… ran away when you confessed to his face." Sendoh snorted, but he smiled. Fukuda's right, he was surprised Rukawa didn't even socked him up. "Yeah. Guess I was lucky…" Sendoh trailed off softly.
"Maybe you almost got him saying yes…" Fukuda slurred, smirking. Sendoh simply looked at him, silent. Fukuda snorted. "Or maybe not."
Sendoh scoffed and lit another stick, drank; this time pulling the chair and sitting on it as he leaned forward, placing his arms on top of thighs, eyes looking at nothing in particular. "I love him…" Sendoh paused. "He gives me a feeling I cant put into words…if only he had… let me." A pause.
"I really do… love him." Sendoh trailed off, placing a right hand on his forehead, looking down, ending the last words barely audible.
Fukuda blinked his eyes—surprised at Sendoh's fearless admission; He was about to say something, but decided to keep his thoughts at bay. Its amusing to think how denial seemed like a shock absorber for the soul. It protects us until we are fully equipped to cope up with reality.
The next day…
Sendoh stirred and groaned a bit before fluttering his eyes open. The light through the slit of the blinds poking him. He felt the slight throbbing of his head as he hoisted himself up. He roamed his eyes a bit, remembering that he spent the night at Fukudas.
The power forward of Ryonan showed him to their guest room after spending the night drinking and smoking and talking about almost everything—but most importantly his seemingly failed resolve with Rukawa. They finished around 3:00 AM. Sendoh sat on the bed, placing his both hands on his face as he took in his watch and checked the time. It read 9:00 AM. He checked his phone and saw messages from his brother. He told them that he's not heading home last night.
Sendoh stood up, a bit wobbly, realising the Vodka was legit alright. He walked towards the door and opened it. Sendoh walked down the stairs and was greeted by the Fukuda's decent living room and dining area. He walked further to where he thought he's hearing squeals, laughter, and the thumping of rubber ball against cement. Turns out Fukuda residence has a nice backyard.
Fukuda turned and saw Sendoh. "'Sup." Sendoh nodded and sat beside Fukuda; Kento and Kenji running around and playing basketball with a made-up basket just tall enough for the both of them.
"Breakfast in the kitchen, man." Fukuda lazily said. Sendoh nodded, feeling a bit shy for staying too long. "T-Thanks, maybe I'll just head out." Fukuda snorted. "Take a bite, bro. I haven't eaten too, you know." A pause. "Mother went out to do some groceries." Sendoh blinked. Fukuda pointed to his two young brothers. "Left me with these two monkeys." Sendoh snorted but he smiled, eyes amused at the twins playing, trying to dribble and squabble against one ball. He never thought of Fukuda as a caring brother—but he is. And Sendoh realised that he's lucky to have friends who's got his back, and he's sure that he's got theirs too.
"My ball!" Kento squealed.
"Noo… you had it awhile agooo!" Kenji reasoned.
"Nooo… my turn!" Kento shouted as he tried to grab the ball from his brother. Fukuda snorted, stood up and approached his brothers & crouched. "Hey, break it…no fighting." The twins reasoned simultaneously and Fukuda can only roll his eyes and scratched his nape. Sendoh stood up and saw a basketball on one corner, kicked it softly, got the ball rolling on his foot up to his leg upwards. The twins were amazed as they forgot their quarrel and jogged towards Sendoh who was grinning at them.
"Wanna play ball, kids?" Sendoh asked as he dribbled the orange leather. "Yeahhh!" They squealed. Sendoh chuckled, nodding at Fukuda who simply stood up and smirked. "Wanna play 2-on-2 with these monkeys?" Fukuda joked. Sendoh laughed as he changes his footwork and side-stepped while the two tries to grab the dribbling ball from him. He looked at Fukuda and chuckled. "Sounds like a walk in the park."
Sendoh played with the twins—showing them fancy dribbling as the two kids laughed and squealed while trying to grab the ball. Sendoh dribbled two balls at once, then would shoot them one after the other to the twin's delight. Their laughter was contagious and it was enough at that moment to temporarily dismiss the matters of the heart. He would lift each one of them and let them dunk on the board and basket situated on the other corner. Fukuda grabbed some of the food from the kitchen and placed them on the table in the backyard. "Food's ready, monkeys." And soon the two came running, sweaty—but most of all, hungry. Sendoh chuckled and paused to look at the three brothers across. "You call 'em monkeys?" He grinned, not believing Fukuda's chosen nickname to the twins.
Fukuda nodded. "Yeah, everyone's a monkey." Pause. "Uozumi's an Ape. Akagi's a gorilla." Sendoh laughed and shook his head, continued dribbling. Fukuda smirked. "Sakuragi's a redhead monkey—that noisy brat from Kainan's a monkey." A pause. "Shoyo? They're trees." Fukuda added with a tug on his lips.
Sendoh chuckled. "So basically, to you everyone's a monkey." Fukuda shrugged. "Yeah, you're Donkey Kong by the way." Sendoh laughed.
"And Rukawa…" Fukuda stated, eyes gleaming with mischief. Sendoh paused and stared at Fukuda, clutching the ball to his hip. "What?" Sendoh dared asked. Fukuda chuckled lowly. Sendoh's thinking what 'monkey' would Fukuda brand Rukawa as…
"A banana." Fukuda grinned. "…and Donkey Kong loves ba-na-nas." Fukuda stated slowly, goadingly, as he snickered to his own amusement. Sendoh rolled his eyes, felt his face and ears burned, as he chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. He dribbled the ball, chuckling as he did so, and fired a three—the ball went in.
The twins cheered. He dribbled for a few again before running a bit, and leaped before dunking. The two boys squealed. "Threeeee!" Fukuda smirked. "It's just a two." Sendoh chuckled and approached them as the four shared a hearty brunch. "Hey, kids don't lie you know." Fukuda smirked. "Oh but, they do."
"You teaching them how to play?" Sendoh queried, sipping onto his coffee. Fukuda smirked. "And have them being better than me? Not a chance, bro." Sendoh laughed. He then turned at the twins who was busy eating their mac n' cheese. "Hey, wanna teach me you guys basketball?" Sendoh grinned. The two looked at him and nodded. "Yeahh! Sendoh-nichaan is good!" They chorused. Sendoh shrugged with his hands jokingly at Fukuda while grinning. "Kids love me, man."
Fukuda snorted. "Rukawa doesn't." Sendoh was made silent, the twins laughed—not comprehending of course but they just laughed. Fukuda chuckled and threw a grape on Sendoh. Sendoh caught the grape that landed on his lap, and ate it, he chuckled. "You really have to rub it on my face, eh—he's not a kid." Fukuda simply smirked and the four continued their messy but hearty brunch.
An hour later and Fukuda's mother arrived, Sendoh helped her with the groceries and stayed for a few hours more playing with the twins, and then helping Fukuda shower the two. It was a ruckus as the four of them caused a major mess in the shower room. Soon after, the twins grew tired and took a nap at around 4:00 pm. Just then, Sendoh decided to say his thanks and bid farewell.
Sendoh put on his shoes and got his umbrella, folded it in its smallest and stuffed it inside his bag. Fukuda simply leaned on the doorframe, watching his teammate, smoking rather, again. Sendoh stared at his teammate. "Hey…thanks for all these." Sendoh stated, eyes beaming with sincerity.
"Are you—falling in love with me now or…" Fukuda joked. "You confessing again…" Fukuda added, chuckling as he did so. Sendoh scoffed, rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Fuck, no." Fukuda laughed. "Yeah. You're not my type either." They both laughed.
Fukuda simply smirked and shrugged. "You're welcome anytime, man." Sendoh held out a hand and Fukuda tapped it. "Hey… take it easy, okay." Fukuda uttered, pausing a bit. He puffed out smoke and shifted his weight on the other leg. "What do you plan, anyway?" Fukuda added.
Sendoh remained pensive, eyes darting at the gate, he shrugged. "What do you mean?" Fukuda snorted. "Well, you already got his number." Sendoh remained passive, its not like having Rukawa's number would change a thing. "Maybe…" Fukuda started.
"No…" Sendoh shook his head slowly, smiling wistfully. "I don't think its a good idea." He sighed. "I mean, he already made his decision and maybe… I just have to lived with it." Sendoh said rather a bit forlorn. Fukuda looked thoughtful for awhile. He smirked. "Stupid. I was gonna say, maybe you should delete his number instead, idiot."
Sendoh blinked—surprised at what Fukuda meant. They both laughed at their silliness. "I mean, its one step to moving forward. Deleting…everything." Sendoh kept his silence. Maybe Fukuda is right. Sometimes you just have to erased everything and moved on. Sendoh doesn't have to forget who Rukawa was to him; he just have to accept that Rukawa isn't that person anymore.
"Sure." Sendoh absentmindedly answered. He held his hand again and Fukuda tapped his for the last time. Sendoh smiled. "Thanks again, man." Fukuda nodded. "Anytime, Brad Pitt." Sendoh laughed, remembering the moniker of the infamous actor who played Achilles; Fukuda and everyone from the basketball team labeled him as, waved and pushed the gate opened and closed it back.
"Hey…." Sendoh hollered outside, pointing at Fukuda. "…take it easy on the cigs." He smiled. Fukuda snorted, smirked and waved a hand. He watched as Sendoh walked towards his way, inching further away until he can no longer see him.
Fukuda sighed and stared at the clear afternoon sky. He knew Sendoh would never delete Rukawa's number and that is because the reason why people can't let go of someone is because, deep inside, they still cling to this stupid idea of… hope.
Sendoh arrived at his home after a few minutes of walking. It's a good thing that Fukuda's home was just a few blocks away. He unlocked the gate and knocked on the door while removing his shoes. The door opened and it was his older brother who greeted him. "Well, the prodigal son returns." He grinned at his younger brother.
"He never left, in fact, he just opened the door." Sendoh Akira countered. His older brother chuckled, Sendoh did too. Sendoh simply snorted and tapped hands with his aniki.
He stepped inside their house, walked towards the foyer that connects the entrance with the rest of the interior, placed his house keys on top of the console table nearby, was about to turn left to get a bottle of water from the fridge in the kitchen area when…
"Surprise!"
Sendoh was astounded he almost fell a few steps backwards when he saw his family and a few relatives there. "What in the world-?!" He blinked an astonished eye and saw his mother, father, his aunt and uncle, their families, and his cousins. They all cheered, laughed, and clap their hands. Sendoh flickered his eyes around and saw homemade décor and a small banner of 'congratulations', 'college-bound' balloons, and food—lots of it actually. He tried to say something but failed to do so. His brother walked up to them, a grin on his face and Sendoh could only roll his eyes.
"Surprised?" His brother asked. He laughed and shook his head as he welcomed and hug almost everyone. Tapping hands and hugging his cousins, his aunt and uncle, his parents…sharing a light hearted moment before digging in for food.
"Guys… this is…" Sendoh started, smiling and just feeling overwhelmed.
"Overwhelming?" Cousin 1 said.
"Amazing, Akira-nichan?" Cousin 2 said.
The family shared a heartfelt early dinner, talking nonstop as the cousins caught up with each other, laughing and chatting their hearts away in the living room.
"Are you excited for college, nichan?" His younger female cousin asked. Sendoh simply chuckled and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."
"Got a girlfriend already, bro?" His male cousin asked. The other two girls giggled. Sendoh scoffed as he scratched his nape and just grinned. This is why sometimes family gatherings can be slightly abhorring. His older brother shrugged as he placed some more chips and soda cans on the coffee table. "He's still single and very much on the market." They all laughed. Sendoh simply rolled his eyes at his brother and mouthed some incoherent curses. His older chuckled before sitting down on one pouf ottoman and grinning almost mischievously.
"But he comes home a little bit late every Fridays—doesn't tell me where's he's at and what's he been doing." A chuckle. Everyone hooted and started asking questions, urging him and so on. Sendoh simply chuckled along with them, continued scratching his head and massaging his nape as he ran a hand on his hair.
"Where do you go every Fridays?! Tell us, Akira-niichan!"
"Hey, tell us bro—I bet you're seeing someone, hahaha!"
"Niichan! My classmate has a crush on you, take a picture with me, ne?"
His older brother simply chuckled when he threw in a glare at him. "What the hell?" Sendoh muttered flippantly. The older shrugged. "Hey, just being observant you know." A grin. Sendoh simply scoffed and played along with his cousins. "Just around- playing basketball." He muttered. "Alone?" Cousin 1 queued in. "Or with someone?" Cousin 2 added. Sendoh rolled his eyes. "Both." They simply laughed and hooted, not believing him of course. Sendoh simply chuckled with them and dismissed them off. He actually just told him the truth—well, probably not the whole of it. "Hey, go grab some more chips and soda everyone, you're all just hungry, I presume." They all laughed and continued their bonding.
A few hours more and Sendoh residence went still once again. Sendoh approached his mother who was busy tidying things up in the kitchen. He approached her and got a dry kitchen towel and started wiping the cleaned dishes. His mother smiled at him. "You didn't come home last night." Sendoh smiled and nodded. "Yeah, sorry Mom." His mother simply chuckled. "Its okay. Just don't do it often." Sendoh nodded again. "I wont."
They continued with the glassware, silence between mother and son. His mother paused while Sendoh continued wiping the glasses and plates. The mother leaned her back on the kitchen counter and stared at his tall son. "You know, we, mothers, have this gift of intuition wherein, we know if there's something wrong or bothering with our sons." She smiled, her light brown eyes turning into inverted crescents and her smile, mirroring the Sendoh's.
Sendoh looked up, blinked and smiled his usual. "I'm fine, Mom." He uttered. His mother simply chuckled and stared at his son. "I closed my eyes for a moment, and suddenly a man stood where a boy used to be." Sendoh looked at his mother and stopped wiping. "Mom… are you getting sentimental on me?" He started, and smiled. His mother playfully tapped his son's head and went over the cupboards. Sendoh stared at his mother as she arranges the glasses and cups in the cupboard.
"…how did you know that Dad is the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?" He found himself absentmindedly asking. His mother slowly turned at him, her eyes seemingly realising the statement of his son. She smiled knowingly and approached him. "I didn't. He just…made me believed that he was." She paused. "I guess if this person is the one, then you wouldn't have to beg for attention…you won't have to force it, because even if things are hectic, this person will still find a way to fit in your life." She smiled. "Just like your father."
Sendoh kept his silence. Trying very much to digest his mother's words. She is right, love is when you find someone who doesn't meet any of your standards, and yet, you still say, finally, I've found the right one. Yet, you know you love someone as well when you know you want them to be happy, even if their happiness means that you are not a part of it.
He smiled and continued wiping the remaining plates and glasses. His mother approached him and placed her hand onto his, Sendoh stopped. She smiled as their eyes met as she squeezed his hand. "Love doesn't hurt, but loving the wrong person does."
Sendoh simply nodded and smiled. In that given moment, Sendoh has come to realise that maybe some people's hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what's at the bottom. And that all you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while. He wondered the deepness of Rukawa's. He thought he'd win it, yet winning someone's heart involves setting aside your ego and investing all of the efforts, and he thought he did. He did so readily. He tried and yet… he still left. In the end, the heart has its reasons of which it knows nothing.
"Hey!" His older brother hollered, grinning as he suddenly walked in the kitchen. The two looked surprisingly at the grinning older Sendoh. "Its about time!" He muttered as he placed both hands behind Sendoh's and playfully massaged the latter. Their mother simply smiled. "Ah, have you told him yet?" The older Sendoh shook his head. "Nah, Mom… haven't told this tall porcupine yet, hahaha!"
"Tell me what? What is this again?" Sendoh asked, trying to bat away his older brother's hands but failing to do so. "C'mon man, gonna show you something, you're gonna love this." Sendoh Akira simply scoffed and rolled his eyes as he stood and left with his brother. Their mother followed suit behind them. And soon enough, all four of them are standing in the garage.
"You go ahead and tell him now, Akito." Their father suggested. Their mother could only smile and nod. Sendoh furrowed his brows and stared at his mischievous brother. His brother then, fished something in his pocket and brought out a key. "Taadaa!" He grinned to Sendoh's surprise. His brother tossed the key as Sendoh almost didn't catch it to his family's amusement. "What the-?!" Sendoh muttered. Akito laughed and placed a hand on his hip, the other pointing on the white vehicle that was park on their garage.
"She's all yours, bro. Take care of her, alright? My grad gift. I know—I'm generous." He stated and laughed. Sendoh Akira was left to gape as he stares from his brother to his parents, they all chuckled as he could only stare incredulously at his older sibling. "Nooo freaking waayyy…" He started. Akito nodded.
The two brothers hugged and clenched their parents tight as they all shared and chatted the night away.
"But how about you?!" Sendoh Akira asked. His brother shrugged. "Company offered a brand new car—big discount so…" He grinned. Sendoh grinned even widely as he exclaimed his excitement and opened his brother's white car and hopped inside. "No fucking way, man." He exclaimed and laughed. "This is mine, for real?" His brother rolled his eyes. "Don't make me change my mind, nuthead." Sendoh Akira leaned on the steering wheel, hugging it. "Hey, no taking back, bro."
"Wanna take her for a ride, now?" The older grinned. Sendoh smiled and nodded absolutely. "Best question of the night, aniki." The two laughed and soon after where driving around Ryonan District.
That night, Sendoh lies awake in his bed, an arm under his head. His body is tired, begging for rest, but his mind wouldn't seem to cooperate. He dumped a sigh and stared at his window. The sky was pitch-black, a few stars were scattered across like tiny specks of dust. His mind wanders off to what his mother said awhile ago; love does not hurt, loving the wrong person does.
Falling for the wrong person doesn't make anyone stupid; its hard not to fall when that person is everything you've always… wanted. Sendoh hoisted himself up and grabbed his phone, opened it and pressed a few buttons. He stopped when he arrived at his name. Rukawa Kaede. His mind is telling him to give him a call, yet his chest is telling him otherwise. People would often connote that the smallest decisions can change a person's life…
Rukawa, the hardest thing I'll ever do is walk away… -A.S
…yet deep inside, Sendoh also wanted to make a choice that would prioritize his inner peace. His eyes stared solemnly on the 'send' button and found himself failing yet again on the attempt to put a dot on things.
He heaved a sigh, put the phone atop the side table and placed his palms on his face; he can feel the racing of his chest. Sendoh involuntarily swallowed and clenched his right hand into a fist, putting his left hand on top of his lips, his mind very much alive and racing. His emotions are making it difficult for him to be decisive.
In the end, Sendoh chose to do what he feels is right, after all, choosing the right path is never easy, for it's a decision he made with only his heart to guide him.
(Friday) 5:30 PM
Rukawa dribbled the ball and with one last run, he jumped from the free throw line and did a reverse dunk. The board and rim shaking with his force. Hanging on one hand, he stared at the cemented ground. His eyes fixated on nothing at particular. He slowly let go of the rim and landed like a cat without sound. He glanced at the ball that rolled off near the bench and walked towards it, his eyes devoid of anything around him—just the orange ball in his sight. He sat down and got his towel, wiped off his face and place it atop his mouth and felt his chest raced as he huffed and puffed.
Today, the sunshine is in his bones. Its heat radiating outwards into the bright day. He saw a few people walked outside the fence. They were all laughing. It's as if the people glow, their aura so happy on these summer days. Rukawa shifted his gaze from the fence to the shade a few steps to his right, his eyes on the foliage above, on each green leaf in that vast canopy. Before he's quite chosen what to do, his feet have him under that same tree, perhaps his body longed to feel the coolness of the grass around him.
Rukawa reclined under the dappled shade, his eyes peeking in between the green leaves of the old oak tree. The calm and serene atmosphere, the sudden cool and bracing climate and refreshing draft giving him a soothing effect. The air is light and crisp, with hidden traces of ocean breeze. The chirping sound of the bird appeared to be enchanting. His eyes flutter a bit, feeling them getting heavy. He lifted a hand and rubbed off the sleepiness—or at least tried.
Just a few months once more before school officially starts and before the qualifying rounds for the Nationals once again, begins. And to be honest, Rukawa for the first time, had little hope that Shohoku would be eligible to represent Kanagawa that year. He knows of his calibre and Sakuragi's. But he knows that after Mitsui, Miyagi, and Akagi graduated years ago, Shohoku was left with almost nothing. They've got new players/recruits, but they're pretty much mediocre in terms of abilities. And with him, being now as the Captain, his routine practice in the gym has been pretty much cut-off. Thus, he constantly goes outside to practice—on that olden court… near Ryonan.
Its been six weeks… more than a month or so… since a person he is acquainted of came to him to confess. Of his feelings. Of his emotions… his love. It was—odd. Rukawa wasn't a novice to these things, yet it brought about a feeling of oddity and he partly wondered if its because of how the message was delivered, or maybe the person who made the declaration. Strange. He closed his eyes momentarily and let himself be lulled by the soft breeze, hearing all kinds of noises from around; people chatting, children laughing, sound of cars passing by.
He opened his eyes to look and saw a group of boys bouncing a basketball onto the cement. There were three of them. Middle school presumably. They started practice shooting. For a moment Rukawa let his eyes observed the boys playing. One of them saw him and told the other two; the other two just looked at him and ignored him; they continued to play.
He never saw Sendoh ever since that night. Sendoh did not come anymore on that court every Fridays. And Rukawa, at first, thought it was 'normal'. He confessed anyway. He bared his emotions. Loud and proud. With all the sincerity he could muster. And he, Rukawa, shut him down. So, he thought its probably 'normal' for Sendoh to not come the following week. After all, when someone breaks your heart, you'd probably just want to punch them in the face. Rukawa is willing to bet Sendoh had probably wanted to kick his.
Rukawa didn't care at first. It was given. But when he came to play the second week, third, fourth, fifth… and Sendoh didn't, he deemed of it as extreme unusual. Then he came to the conclusion that maybe, Sendoh finally got tired of playing with him. Got tired of seeing his expressionless face. After all, he seems to be beating him in his own game for the last two meetings they had before that fateful… confession. Rukawa swallowed involuntarily, he felt his right fist on the ground clenched.
This feeling of irritation. Rukawa had come to the conclusion that Sendoh probably got mad at him and decided to just stop playing with him. He could have at least said something. Rukawa knew that his one-on-ones with Sendoh is not just some sort of a pastime; he knew that by playing against the older and formidable guy, and with Sendoh's calibre, he is continuously being in-check of his prowess and ability. In short, it truly helps him improved—a lot.
And then Sendoh stopped coming to play with him. Poof. Gone. Just because he said he didn't feel the same way. He thought it was courageous of him to actually admit his feelings. But, oh well, so much for those people who seemed to muddy the water to make it seem deep.
Just because he said no doesn't mean he needs to explain himself. Did Sendoh actually expects him to apologise? But, what for? He just told him what he thinks of as the truth. And so, he felt annoyed. He always thought that there are certain people who require months, or even years to get rid of an emotion—Rukawa never thought Sendoh would be one of them. He honestly never perceived the older boy to be that shallow.
He thought Sendoh is the type of person who is a master of himself and can end sorrow as easily as he can invent pleasure. He doesn't seem to be someone who's at the mercy of his emotions; he'd use them to enjoy them… and to dominate them. That is how Sendoh Akira is to him, Rukawa Kaede.
And where is the person who just said that he didn't 'try' to love him but did so anyway? Gone with the wind. A deserter. Leaving him to deal with the disappointment, Sendoh alone, created. Rukawa furrowed his brows and pulled himself up, dusted his shorts and walked lazily towards the bench. The boys are still playing. He got his ball and stuffed it inside his bag and walked towards the exit, mind in dismay. He pondered on the fact that there is something wrong with the people confessing their feelings to him then probably wanting him to comprehend them. There are two possibilities why they end up disappointed; wrong person or wrong expectation.
Rukawa has trained himself to expect less from people. Because what screws the most in life is the picture in our head of how things are supposed to be. 'Confessing straight to my face then expecting me to apologise for saying no… Sendoh Akira, you bastard.'
Rukawa hopped on his bike and started pedaling back to Shohoku, the feeling of misperception heavily consuming him, his brain muddled; Because it didn't use to bother him—not until recently. And maybe because right now, he seems to be stuck somewhere, between the what ifs, the what might, what could have, and what never will… when all he wants to know is what actually is.
It was then that Rukawa Kaede came again to another conclusion. Sendoh Akira is nothing but a chicken. He doesn't specifically know why either; he just knew he is one. Like some old coward who just got tired of playing & meeting with him; a chicken for making him feel suddenly 'unwanted'.
Rukawa may be quiet, but he has so much in his mind—like some sort of confusion. Rukawa felt his hand gripped on his bike's handle, as he pedaled his legs up and down, his eyes focused on the road in front of him, the ocean to his right. It was still a bright afternoon sun, its ray's filling everyone and everything on its path with warmth and radiance, except his… Rukawa didn't know, he wasn't feeling necessarily sad or down, but he was feeling a bit mad and disappointed and most importantly, he wondered why he felt a bit…tired and empty. Like there's a gap, like's something… heavily misplaced.
Rukawa held his grip tighter as he pedaled his way home, that strange feeling of hollowness, its like silence falling onto him like a new emotion, like how the shadow would steal the light. Sendoh's words ended up baffling him. Its like waking up the next morning and remembering what you were trying to forget last night; its like being bewildered or unclear in one's mind about something, yet the only confused he ever gets is when he's trying to convince his head of something his heart knows is a lie.
END.
Note: I thought it was amusing to toy with Rukawa's confusion, lol. I suck at updating fics, tbh. I cant update stories with a single click of a button, I had to remove and post chapters again and again. I'm an old aunt, lol. I wasn't supposed to 'upload' this becos it doesn't seem to fit in the story, I thought Rain&Fall was okay as it is, but I also felt that I should. Sorry for this big letdown! I just came off a from a very busy week. . So excited to update LateNights2 next :D
Star7: And this is the reason why I left the fandom, you-?! Wtheck is this?!*strangles JP*
JP: . This. Chapter. Is. Called. I. Don't. Know. What. I'm. Doing.
Addicted to SD: *throws tomatoes at JP* Boo!
Ariane: I'm soo sad and confused… I'm gonna read this again!
RokudaimeLove: I regret telling you things when I pm'd you! .