***READ MAIN STORY FIRST!***
A/N: Just 1 playlist for all epilogues on YouTube at PiaM Epilogue.
I dunno I feel it's mostly cringey rambling, I feel like I'm 12 again, but here it is!
WARNINGS:There's at least more talking about what to do about the truth of all she did moving forward. References to physical, psychological, and emotional aspects of the abuse, assault, and rape.
But mostly, bring on the comfort...
Prison is a Marriage
- Epilogue: Part II-
A Long Conversation Which Always Feels Too Short
"Whoa, Fitzherbert. Rapunzel's gone to bed."
"Oh," Eugene said, stopping short and getting ready to politely explain himself to the Captain, standing guard outside Rapunzel's commander's tent. "Uh, I know. That's actually whyyy I- uh, heh." He grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "That's why I'm here. And she said it was alright. Not to do anything! Just to sleep, you know, nearby."
The Captain sighed. "Look, Eugene," he put a hand on his shoulder. "I know you two must miss each other somethin' terrible, but you can wait til morning."
"But Captain, we-"
"That's final."
"If you would just-"
"And! Just in case you do have something else in mind," he said more sternly as he crossed his arms, "You're not getting in here."
Eugene's fragile state toppled. His throat closed up at the mere thought of another night alone, terrified of not being in her arms. It felt as if a parental figure of his own was not letting him do something completely harmless, simply because he was not trusted - even though he knew he would not do anything 'bad.' "With all due respect, Sir, I understand you are just trying to protect her, and I appreciate that. But one, if anyone ever tried to hurt Rapunzel, I believe she could take care of herself. And two, we all know that would never be me."
The Captain saw his pout, but gave in to his territorial side, possibly with the excuse of teaching a lesson or erring on the side of caution. "I've seen the Princess fight, too, but you could coerce her." Eugene was taken aback; the Captain pressed on. "And come on. I remember your reputation. If you've been dabbling back into playing Flynn Rider, you been dabblin' around elsewhere too?"
"Captain!?" He scoffed in disgust, but desperately tried to remain respectful. "Again, I appreciate how concerned everyone is for her, but-" He shook his head. "You knew my old reputation. And what even was that? Sleeping around? Gettin' laid?"
The Captain cringed, suddenly uncomfortable with discussing the topic directly.
"'Cause I know it sure as hell wasn't taking advantage of women. If you think for one second I'd ever hurt her, or even like, coerce her to do anything, then even despite everything else, you don't know the first thing about me. She's already said she doesn't wanna do anything, so-" The comparison suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks. He stopped talking, embarrassed about nearly crying, and about how that exact thing had happened to himself. I can't tell HIM! He bit his lip and shook his head. And- but this is different! This is US! Rapunzel and I would NEVER hurt each other!
"You know, I'm a father, too, don't forget."
"So what?!" Eugene cried out in confused frustration, "And I have NO parents! She is ALL I have!"
"Eugene?" Rapunzel poked her head out of her tent, already in her blue nightgown.
The Captain bowed his head. "My apologies for waking you, Your Royal Highness."
"Oh, you didn't wake me," she said, shaking her head and blushing. One hand pulled on her opposite elbow shyly.
"Hey, Blondie." He could not smile yet, nor did his eyes meet her face.
She tossed his puppy dog eyes an apologetic smirk, then turned to their opposition. "Captain, please," she interceded, "Eugene is here at my request. He- he needs me right now. He's still extremely shaken from this whole ordeal." She shook her head. "And I'm sorry, but, I don't care what you think about it, or even if you wanna tell my dad. But Eugene is staying with me tonight."
He grinned at her, but then showed the Captain just how miserable he was. "Sir, Stalyan forced me to marry her. What else do you think she forced me to do? I'm staying with Rapunzel tonight so that I feel safe. Excuse me." He shouldered past him, following Rapunzel back inside.
Rapunzel resecured the tent flap, then turned to Eugene expectantly.
He stood to the side, hands clasped in front of himself. Upon noticing her gaze, he took a deep breath, puffing his chest up with all of his joy, pride, and nerves mixed together, as it all hit him. I'm really here- with HER- Alone! With her! Together! Tonight! Free! Safe! My Love! His eyes pinched with his smile, and a giddy chuckle popped out. I thought we were over forever - but here you are! BLONDIE!
She grinned sweetly, reaching one hand for his waist and the other, slowly, up for his cheek. But her voice was deadly serious. "There was no way I was letting anyone else keep you from me one more night. Never again." Her eyes held his in rapture, her thumb caressing his cheekbone, to ground them both. "Never. I am going to take care of you."
"I know you will." He stared in awe, holding her hand against his cheek, taking in her soft fingers, letting her protectiveness wash over him. "I just couldn't bear another night away from you." His arms came to envelope her even as he fell into her arms, and they suddenly yanked each other into a spontaneous kiss, of desperate, frantic energy, that only turned more and more heated, until he thought his heart would explode. A hand on the back of her neck, the other across her back, strongly holding their mouths against each other, even as their faces shifted around. He found himself gasping through his nose, overcome, but unwilling to leave, hardly noticing his own deep, sighing moans.
With one hand in his hair, and the other pulling at his belt from the back, pressing their hips together, she hummed back quietly. She thoroughly revelled in welcoming him back to this private aspect of their relationship.
Eugene interrupted first, dizzily out of breath, he being the one overwhelmed for once, his voice shaking. "Tha-ank you, for pullin' rank there, n' standin' up for me."
"Of course," her hand slid down from his hair and cupped his cheek again, "How could I do anything less?"
"I know," he grinned, but shrugged to the side. "And, for, being discreet at the briefing before…"
She pursed her lips and sighed. "That's nobody's business unless you want it to be."
"I dunno," he rubbed the back of his neck. "On the one hand, anybody can put two and two together. Is it better to let them think I was okay with all that? Or would the truth make me look like…" He sighed, turning away. "Like I can't even protect myself. Great prince material right there, either way. A cheat or a..."
Rapunzel kept her eyes averted and her hands crossed in front of her, respectfully allowing him to dump whatever he could at the moment. "A victim," she finally finished for him in a small voice.
Heaving deep breaths, he looked her in the face, til she met his eyes; his ran away. "Yeah."
"That doesn't mean you're not strong," she urged, returning to take his elbows. "I was a 'victim' of kidnapping all my life, and you were her 'victim' too at the end. That doesn't mean either of us were weak, ever. Or that we were wrong."
With a deep breath he nodded. True, true, I just hate thinking of THIS in terms of the words it all is… "I know you're right. It's just… easier to say you're a stabbing victim than a..."
She held his gaze, understanding the rest, but she looked away again to counter. "The real 'other hand' is… We can control what the public knows, not what they think. My dad said it's-"
"What." His attention snapped to her. "What did your dad say? Is he mad at me?"
"No, no, he's not mad at you, not unless you actually helped overthrow Corona," she snickered.
It managed to lighten him up as he responded with a face that said, Oh come on, don't be ridiculous!
She quickly sobered to answer though. "But he did say it would be a public scandal."
"Greeeat…"
"I mean, the Princess's boyfriend married a Baron's daughter," she shrugged, "But, don't you worry about that. We'll get it all cleared up. You know you've really won over everyone in Corona these past few months!" She held his cheek. "I think my dad was mostly upset about… you breaking my heart."
"Which I wanted to die for doing," he snapped, but then took her hand and kissed it. "I… I'm sorry..." Deal with her dad and the rest of Corona whenever I see them again. And hey, maybe by then they'll forget the whole thing even happened, who knows?!
"Eugene," she began sternly, "None of this was your decision."
He focused back on her. "But I did decide. I put his life over happiness with you. And I could barely fathom it at the time, but I should've known that marrying her would mean… sleeping with her…" He squeezed her hand, and quietly mumbled on. "It hit me right after- when the reception started- and I just wanted to get blackout drunk…"
Rapunzel pulled him close, holding onto him defensively as he dropped his head to her shoulder. "She forced you to make an impossible decision, and you still came through in the end. You did save Lance, and you still had hope and faith enough to signal me for help, then you saved me, again, and now you've finally made it back. I'm here with you now. Everyone is safe and sound here again, all thanks to you. And you're safe, now, too."
"I know I'm safe as long as I'm with you. I swear," he picked his head back up to crack a smile at her, "You wouldn't hurt a fly."
She chuckled. "No, Pascal takes care of that for me."
"Truuue," he chuckled back with a finger gun, that turned into running that finger around her chin and jawline. "Ya know, I still feel it's cosmically unfair to the rest of the world, but, how did I ever get so lucky?"
"I don't know." She shrugged, fingers stroking his goatee then back up to his ear, and finally tugging at his collar - making his heart skip. "How did I?"
His face flushed as he leaned in again, merely brushing lips, butterflies in his throat. "Maybe that's how- if we're the same- both damaged but lucky. Two broken people, who fit together? Filling in each others' cracks?" He kissed her smiling lips again, chastely.
"Hm, that does sound like us…" she mused with him, brushing their noses together. "You know I would do anything for you, Eugene. Right?"
"Hm, I do know that, all too well. Not to mention, ya know, the army, and..." He watched her carefully, as he pulled their hips flush again, again hitching her breath. "This…" His arms swarmed up and around her back. "I just wanna hold you forever..."
"Do you?" she mused, molding out one of his shoulders. Her hand flowed down his arm, recalling it from her back.
"Yes…" he replied, entranced.
She finally held his wrist, while his hand rested on her shoulder. "Or do you want…" Her eyes shyly remained on his chest, as she nervously pulled his hand downward.
Oh no… "Blondie what're you doin'..." he whispered. Soon the heel of his hand drew over the top of her cleavage, but he jerked it away out of her grasp, instead sinking it entirely into her hair over her ear. "Rapunzel," he urged, "Look at me." He tugged ever so slightly to redirect her face to look up to his.
She gasped, disheartened from his scold. "I just thought- maybe you wanted-"
"I'm not looking for just that anymore." He searched her worried eyes. Make it better. His crooked smile perked up. "It's alright. I got you. And I just wanna remember where we were. Alright?"
"Alright," she said with a deep breath and nodded, at ease again. "I'm sorry…"
"It's alright. But I do know we are finally…" he smirked deliciously, sliding cheek to cheek, he whispered anxiously, "Alone at last." Sensual, not sexual- I want to actually feel things again! And…
But she could hear his hopeful smile through his voice, which she hummed back. "Together again, alone…" Her fingers dipped beneath his collar to caress his neck.
His smile grew more sure, so he dared to ask, "And, now that we are completely alone..." With actually beginning to voice his concerns, though, his confidence shook again, hands tightened on her shoulders, and he pulled away to see her full reaction. "I- I just wanted to double-check. Are- are you sure we're okay?"
She blinked back, confused. "What?"
"Ya know, me and you? Us?"
"Eugene-" she flustered, feeling the mood completely shatter.
"Isn't there anything more you want from me?" he blurted, then cringed from the scars that revealed. "Besides an apology, and a hug and a kiss? You know I'd do anything for you, too. But-" Even if we do physical things tonight- "But Blondie, I don't want to just be-"
"Eugene," her voice raised and cracked. "I don't want anything from you. Nothing but your love. I just thought that maybe you wanted to- but, no, no, Eugene- You've already promised me the world, yourself, your patience-"
It's not enough! I don't even know what would be enough. He bit his lip as she listed things off, then interrupted with a "But, I- is that enough then-"
She startled him to silence as her hands both came to hold his distressed face, thumbing over his cheekbones, his jaw trembling against her pinkies. "Eugene," she spoke softly but surely. "YOU are enough. You've always been more than enough for me, and you were right- you are enough for people to accept you for a Princess. Just you. And that's all I want. You. As you are."
I was an asshole jerk again this past month. And even before that-... His brow knitted up and lips pouted, and his voice came out thin, raw, and frail. "I could be better."
She wrapped him in a hug, holding him closely, securely, protectively. "You are better. One month- or, really, no, one week? -of being forced to pretend to be Flynn Rider again doesn't undo all the good you've done. We even put an end to the Baron for good now!"
He closed his eyes tight, and eventually took a deep, shuddering breath. "I know that." A few moments more, and he mostly collected himself enough. "It just feels like I'm… struggling, to remember who I am now… I can't forgive myself… But thank you..."
"Eugene," she sighed but grinned, "I don't wanna tell you who you are, but one thing I know you've done is…" Her grin faded darkly. "Eugene." She took his right hand and nuzzled his fingers back into the side of her hair, but could not look at him while she spoke. "I felt you go cold, and limp. I've held you…" Her voice dropped off, but finally she looked up into his eyes. "You chose that, just to set me free. How could that alone not be enough for someone?"
He winced and squeezed her with his other arm still around her waist. "Anytime," he laughed off. That was just ONE dramatic decision. I mean, to go on everyday, putting up with actually living with me… Which I know you manage somehow, and maybe even enjoy, but… Did nobody expect ME to WANT to stick around with YOU? He leaned back and came to sigh, shaking his head and running his hand through his own hair. "But just… So- really, I guess, how could anyone ever think that I don't wanna be with you?"
"Well, your cover, and my assumption, made sense - you got tired of waiting for me…" But then she grinned, partially embarrassed. "But I claim temporary insanity," she snarked, trying to cheer him up as well.
It worked, and he chuckled. "You get to claim baggage. Which you know I will gladly handle for you." He poked her nose.
She sighed happily. "We'll get through this together. Just like everything else. I'll be with you through it all."
"Hmmm…" he tried to smile as he rolled their foreheads against each other, but then he finally sighed. "I know you will. And I know you love me, even though I don't know how you put up with me."
"Eugene!" she exclaimed with shock this time, "How- What- Ugh, why would you ever think that I only 'put up with you?'"
"Well not 'only,' but I mean- c'mon, there's a lot to put up with." He shrugged.
She pursed her lips, brow furrowed, looking away and planted her hands on her hips. "You know, another thing you were right about is that dealing with Stalyan is apparently why you could understand what I went through with Gothel." She locked accusatory eyes with his suddenly existentially frightened expression. "Because you sound exactly like I did when I first got out of there." She gestured off to the side. "Like I still sound sometimes."
...I do. Through a raspy throat, he started, "Blondie, I- I'm sorr-"
"No, please, stop it, Eugene. Stop putting yourself down like this," she whined.
He thought a moment, but then came to lock forearms with her, and bask in her warm, understanding eyes. "I know you're right. But I can't just stop. I've crawled outta this hole before, and I'll do it again, but I still gotta crawl through it. I did lose ground this past month. So, please, I just- I'm sorry, but I do need you to remind me of everything. I need to be able to talk this out with you. And I need you to go easy on me. Please."
She sighed. "Alright. Alright, I can certainly do all that, no problem. You'll be alright. You've got me now," she asserted.
"I know I've got you. But see, even if you think I'm enough for you, I know I do still just need you." He pecked her nose, causing her to wrinkle it up and giggle. "So thank you, for everything, even though I feel I can't ever thank you enough... I just love you…"
She tugged on his goatee to hold his face level as she bopped up to kiss his nose back, eliciting the same reaction. "There's nothing to thank me for, nothing for you to ask forgiveness for. I love you, too, Eugene. You belong here. And I'm always here for you."
But between Cass and the Captain just now… "But… another question… Rapunzel. Do you trust me?"
"What? Of course I do!" she chuckled in surprise, and leaned away to look at him. "What do you mean? Eugene," she laughed, "How could I not trust you? I mean, even after everything-"
"We haven't talked about this in a while. But I mean like, now," he shrugged, slipping back into melancholy. "When I say things about how I feel, or about what I will or won't do in the future. Things I can't prove. Last night Cass even questioned if the vial of anti-venom I gave her for you was actually the poison, and you heard the Captain- he thinks I'm here to…" He waved his hand out with a deep breath, but then slouched with a sigh. "I mean- I physically could hurt you-"
"But you wouldn't," she sighed, merely annoyed with the suggestion.
"But you don't know that-"
"I do know that," she snapped. Her expression turned to scold.
He winced at her look. "Blondie, I've lied so much, that I-"
"Eugene," she shook her head, "Sometimes it doesn't matter the exact words you say. At the end of the day, I trust you."
His voice strained, "Why though? You've told me- you can't find a tell on me. So, whyyy..."
She took a deep breath, reluctant to elaborate. "Because you have already proven it."
He tilted his head, brow furrowed. "What do you mean?" But he had an idea. That again?
"Because," she turned away from him to gesture widely with her arms as she headed towards her makeshift camp bed, fashioned from how many large crates were arranged to create a couch-shaped cavity. She picked up more thick blankets for cushioning. But her shoulders cringed, embarrassed for the secret she was about to reveal. "Giving you the crown back was a test. I, 'wasn't scared anymore,' that you would leave me."
Painfully obvious it was a test, but… His shoulders fell, but he rejoined her side, taking her shoulders from behind. "But I… I did leave. Right after that…" Blondie?
She sighed. "Yes… And at the time, I didn't know anything else." She smoothed over the extra blankets she had pulled out, then turned in his arms. Her hands spread out over the black vest on his chest. "Up to that point, I had never felt so hurt and betrayed. But, then I learned you didn't really mean to completely leave me, and you did come back." She smiled. "Like always, apparently."
"And again, I have to ask you- 'cause I know how much that hurt you. The way you've told me- how she walked you back there- you were devastated, probably just like yesterday morning, or worse. After that whole perfect day, where I was finally letting myself be honest and show how much I liked you, and we had sooo much fun, that just made it all look like it was nothing but lies- like I'd been duping you all day til I literally sold you. Just like this- for a whole year you saw me head over heels in love with you, then suddenly when proposal talk comes up again, it looks like I ditched you for an ex who was desperate to marry me." He shook his head. "N' back then- It all still blows my mind. My life was possibly forfeit anyway, but you? Why did you still trust me- why would you trade an eternity of servitude for someone like me? Right after, for all it seemed, I betrayed you? In the absolute worst way possible? For all you knew, I did ditch you- or like I said, sold you."
She shook her head and looked away. "I dunno…"
Smirking, he guided her cheek to look back at him. "You do know… I mean, that was way worse than just looking like I dumped you as a girlfriend, and a bigger leap of faith than just raising an army and dragging them over here! That was your own life you were trying to trade."
"I loved you," she cried out softly, "I loved you already even though at the time, it did seem possibly unwarranted. Just like I still loved you all this past month! Even with everyone telling me you didn't care about me anymore because 'well- w-well look at the announcement we got!' 'He's gone and found someone who did want to-...'" She paused to catch her breath, as he rubbed her arms with concern.
He shook his head at the last part, whispering soothing, "No, no, no…"s.
Finally she continued, "But- but back then- you did uphold your end of that deal, more than you had to, and then you even came back when you could have just run away…" She shook her head. "So, yeah, all I knew was you came back for me. You sounded so scared for me. And I already loved you."
His stern brow popped up in surprise as she spoke. "That… Running away by myself never even crossed my mind," he chuckled. "I didn't even think of leaving you behind. All I knew was I had to get you away from her."
She shook her head and shook the memory off, of him climbing her hair that time. "I still didn't know exactly what had actually happened to you, but my trust with her was broken worse. I thought maybe I was just wrong about any other feelings, but the way you refused… I dunno. I just saw it in you." She sighed. "It was how you, made me feel when we were together. I had never felt anything like how happy I was that day in the kingdom, and I knew that you were the one who made that day so fun for me and I knew what you were risking by giving that to me, and I knew I was free. Whatever she said you did after that, I knew both that I couldn't trust her anymore, and that I'd always cherish that time, because of you. And then it was because of me that she…" She choked on her words, holding her hand under her nose to try to stymie her tears.
Eugene smirked through his deeply pinched brow. She's the sweetest, most adorable... "It's alright." He held her arm in comfort and support. "And that wasn't your fault. That was just because of this," his other hand brushed her swoop out of her face.
She finally sighed and pulled them flush again, smirking against his chest at him. "And in the end, anyway," she cheered up, "You can't bluff cutting off your one hope for survival, or fake dying."
Eugene smiled, but sadly now. "So, it was that?"
"If you want a concrete, provable answer. But Eugene," she looked up and reached to hold his face again.
"But that was just one dramatic decision, Blondie. You can't judge me on that one point forever-"
"Eugeeene," she complained back, "Like I said, it's the way you make me feel, everyday now! How you treat me. And I… I know it's real. You risked your life again, by coming back to Corona with me to meet my parents, and everyone was apparently surprised that you weren't angry at me for turning down your proposal, and then you went and saved my parents in that snowstorm. And you promised to support me even if I never become queen which means no more castle for you!" she laughed a little. "But, it's all the tiny things you do, too, for no reason other than to make me happy, or to get to spend time with me. It's been more than just a week under duress. I've lived with you for a year. I've seen the best and worst of you. This is the way you live your life now; this can't be an act. You can't 'fake' actually being a good person, 'cause all you end up with is good things! So, I dunno, I trust you in a million ways, Eugene."
He chuckled, "Even at my worst?"
She smirked as her sultry bedroom eyes set back in. "Your worst isn't even that bad."
He blushed and his smile turned shy. All the little things...
"And however scared I've been, why should I ever trust what Gothel's said or some announcement slip from 'The Baron?' When I've seen you with my own two eyes?"
"You, uh…" his dorky smile took over his face. God, you've got me so- she LIKES me!- got me like a sappy schoolboy or somethin'! He laughed at himself."You really notice- all those little things though?" I love it! I've MISSED it!
She blushed back. "I like to think I catch at least most of them."
He smiled fully, "Well, good. 'Cause you're the most precious thing in the world to me, and I want you to know it." He leaned down for a kiss. With one hand on her waist and the other behind her neck, he slowly opened the kiss up to a sideways interlocked deep French kiss, and they both pulled each other in harder and harder.
Minutes later, they slowly parted, gasping again. Her hands fisted his collar; his on her back flattened her against his entire torso.
He rested his forehead against hers, and his desperate voice dipped huskily on her cheek. "Make no mistake. I want you, Blondie. However long you want to take. I'm here waiting. But ohhh, do I want you. Always."
Her voice squeaked in return, just as needy but naive. "I want you, too..."
He grinned, but it turned devilish. 'Coerce her?' I can see how anyone would assume, but being mutually attracted isn't our fault. He bit his lip, getting lost in that attraction, all the way back to the first moment he laid eyes on her. "Ya know, if I could've taken you as soon as you untied me from that chair, I would have." He shrugged. "Or if you had before you even-"
She looked at him quizzically. "Why 'couldn't' you?"
He looked back just as confused, and felt the mood crack again. "I- I was just makin- like, pillow talk. I mean, I saw right away you didn't want me to."
She jolted. " Oh, no! No, but- oh- I mean-!"
He winced. "Then why..." He brushed her hair back on both sides of her face, then cradled her neck. He shook his head. "You weren't even responding to any of my flirting so I gave up trying to seduce you and we started arguing instead," he chuckled, desperate to reassure her. There's… a difference...
"Right," she looked away, smiling in defensive embarrassment and blinking at nothing while she thought, carefully navigating the ways between wanting to please and true happiness.
He ever so slightly redirected her to look back to him. "Sweetheart, I…" He bit his lip again and shook his head while he thought. I'm still struggling with Stalyan doing that to me, and she's at least an ex - because I DON'T understand how someone could just DO THAT to someone else! Stealing their possessions is one thing but - but to FORCE someone like THAT?! To steal THAT from someone?! He took a deep breath. "I may have been as much of a thief as Stalyan was years ago, but I would never do that. I want you to be happy, and even as Flynn, I have always wanted my lady to feel good." He chuckled as he grappled with this new unknown feeling of compersion he was trying to tackle. "I mean, it's such a simple concept! But still kinda hard to explain? Like, it makes me happy to see you happy. It makes me feel good to see and feel and hear how you enjoysomething. You know how that is, And I think that's the way things should be."
Rapunzel blushed hard, and still turned her chin down against Eugene's hands. "I know I can't help but be a 'people pleaser,' but-"
"But what about pleasing yourself?" he finished for her with a smirk. "Ya know, I wanna please you," his hands ran up and down her arms tantalizingly, "However you want. Someday." Maybe a little tonight. He began to smile dashingly, but it turned into a giggle. "I'm sorry, too much?"
Her eyes had gone wide and her cheeks turned redder than ever, but she joined his giggle. "Um, yeah, I guess…" She thought on it a moment, while he openly admired her blushing, but then she corrected herself, shaking her head. "Actually- no, not at all. You're never 'too much.'"
His grin grew even bigger at that, eventually pulling his smile over his teeth as he blushed. "I, heh," he chuckled, shaking his head in a fit of shyness himself. "I just can't believe… We're really together again. I thought I'd lost you. I thought my life was over, again. You, you really pulled off another miracle for me."
Her smile disappeared. "Justice being served shouldn't be a miracle."
He rolled his eyes. "You materialized a whole army to rescue me from the consequences of my own actions and let me go Scot-free, again. Dunno how any of that is justice." He shrugged.
"Eugeeene!" Rapunzel grabbed his arms and shook him back to attention at her, while she scolded him. "The Baron and everyone we captured WILL see justice. But you deserve to be happy! And free, and safe! That's justice too!"
Eugene was stunned silent.
"That's what you've always said you want for me."
"I-" he stammered softly. "I just-..." His eyes fell, unable to express his strange unease.
"Eugene, you deserve so much more than you've ever been given."
His head perked up with an answer finally, that his brain screamed at him in unison. "I DON'T. 'Justice' would've seen ME hung long before I ever found you. I don't- I don't believe that I deserve any of this! I know I'm damn lucky and I know what I want and I'll take what I can get- but I-" He broke away from her, hiding his face in his hands, breathing hard.
All that negative talk triggered his memories of Rapunzel's own ritual protesting against these same exact laments before, which he also believed. "I'm sorry!" he cried out, "I'm sorry. You're the only reason I have any faith in anything in life anymore. And if helping you is why I suddenly deserve nice things, then fine. But without you, I'm just another criminal, fallin' right back down into the same-..." His voice abruptly broke down and his face wrinkled up.
"Eugene," she called to him carefully, vowing to retrieve him from the dark hole his mind had stumbled into. Slowly, she touched his shoulder, and as he permitted her, she wrapped her fingers around more of it. She felt a shudder ripple through him as she heard him make a choking sound.
"I know," he whispered his admission of her previous declarations. "I know, I know…"
"Eugene, please, look at me," she calmly begged him. Slowly, he turned around, and even more slowly, lifted his reddened face to hers. Her other hand cupped his cheek. "You have always deserved better. Always. Since you were born, you have had it rough, and been denied so many things you should have had all along. Most of all, people to look out for you. But look at how many people you have around you tonight."
"You," he threw the answer out there, both so graciously happy to have her, but self-pitying it was only her.
"I mean this whole camp," she goaded. "You're not alone anymore. And you haven't been alone, not really, ever since we met."
Finally, he calmed down considerably. Oh my God… I was able to call on an entire kingdom's ARMY… because the… the Royal Family CARES! Because they, LOVE ME... I still can't believe it. And so many friends, all around… Especially… His eyes got lost in hers, knowing he was so safe there. In her eyes, right where he stood, and for the entire surrounding camp. He was safe and protected by thousands of people sworn to protect the Royal Family, which somehow included him. "You… You were ALL right here to catch me…" he choked up.
"You know me- I believe everyone deserves a chance- the best possible chance. Everyone deserves that. And you are a good person. I didn't force you to become one. You always were. Without me, you are still a good person. During the briefing before, you said you had to go collect protection money? You still gave some away to someone who needed it, and you didn't abandon your friends when you had the clear opportunity to get just yourself out. And again last night- Cass told me she offered to get you out of there right then, to come see me, and you still refused that because you wouldn't leave your friends."
He cringed at that. "I wanted to, Blondie. Please believe me, I just wanted to run to you and hold you so bad. I needed you. But the guys-"
"I know." Her finger on his lips paused him.
"And I knew you had people to take care of you."
"Cass took care of me."
"Good," he croaked. "That's good."
"I'm glad you stayed, to make sure they got out safely, too. But Eugene, you weren't happy there because you didn't want to be involved with any of it anymore. You were never happy there because they could never give you what you needed."
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded. "I know you're right." He held his forehead. "It's just, a lot of bad shit's been coming back to me with all this. I just gotta get it out of my head. I know, you're right. We've been through this. I wouldn't be feeling so damn guilty if I didn't care. The past year of good citizenship isn't erased just from getting kidnapped."
"Flynn Rider, and Stalyan and the Baron; those are stories from your past. Eugene Fitzherbert is who you are now." She grinned up at him, and he managed to reflect it back. "And," she continued, "For your future, I was trying to tell you before, but, I was hoping that privately now? I could give you that answer, that would make you happy?" She smiled, eagerly.
"No," he cringed again, collecting himself otherwise. "Certainly not just to make me happy- No, please, I'm sorry. I was serious before. I can be persuaded that I do deserve you, but I cannot accept that answer right now. I just got a big, bad taste of how marriage can feel like, like a- a prison..."
She blinked away. "Well, I wouldn't say prison…"
"This was a prison for me. And you don't call your tower a prison, but that's what it was. I wasn't allowed to leave here either. And if you're gonna feel the least bit held back or constricted, for whatever reason, or even no reason! Then I promise, I can't do that to you- I can't let you do that to yourself."
She blushed, but her eyes were still wrought with worry. "But, I... I certainly don't think staying with you could ever be like a prison. But, loving you forever? Our future? I- I do want that with you, someday."
"I know you do. Right now you say you do. But everyone's right- you're only a year out of there. We'd barely gotten this trip off the ground. And I also…" His thumb glided down her jaw to her chin as he took a deep breath. "I know better than most- better than anyone, what you went through with her-"
Rapunzel tried to turn away, frustrated and dismissive.
Eugene turned her shoulders back for her to face him. "Sweetheart," he yearned for her understanding, while he smoothed her hair away, "I can't do that to you! I refuse. I'm sorry. All I want is for you to be free, so don't you dare let me tie you down. Any pressure there was before, please just forget it. No more pressure. Never."
She did smile at his declarations, but her forehead wrinkled up with his worries. She mumbled, "I don't feel like you're pressuring me. You never have."
He sighed. "Well, good. And, there's of course, ya know, all this, too." He pointed all around them, then ran his hand back through his own hair, turning sheepish and remorseful. With a deep breath, he confessed. "When I proposed to Stalyan, 8 years ago, it was right after she had cheated on me. I had cheated on her, too, already, before that, but I thought getting married would fix everything." He collected her hands. "Like I said before, I don't want our engagement to be in the context of this whole mess. And right now it feels like it'd be the same as that- trying to use an engagement to fix a relationship. I'm- I'm not- I don't want to marry you because of anything to do with her. You think I was thinking of her 6- 7 months ago when I first proposed to you?"
She quirked a smile at that question, "Well, I mean-"
He shook his head. "Okay, well, I was thinking, this time would be nothing like that. That this time we actually had a good relationship- the best I could ever fathom! We're always learning to communicate better, helping each other heal, and that was just another way of looking at my past versus my new life, and how wonderful it is with you. And I know how much you love me! Really, since we first kissed-" he giggled, "I've had to hold back from just blurting out, every single day, I wanna marry you! I wanna stay with you, I wanna commit my life to loving you! I thought THIS," he motioned to his heart, "This is what was actually right to feel before I popped the question, which was the opposite of that time, so I thought-..." Then why did you say No…? He sighed. "We're good, Blondie. I'm fine right where we are. I want you to figure out what you want, when you're ready to. I just don't want you to feel like you're in her shadow, or that you need to snag me before I go run off with someone else, alright? I'm done running. I have been done. You're my home and that's all I've wanted since I met you..."
She looked at him sideways but smiled. "Well, at least before this, uh, 'you running' was never something I worried about."
"Please don't ever worry about that," he cringed. "I didn't run-"
"I know," she held up a hand, "I know."
"I'm forever sorry I'm coming to you with such a shitty past, I know... but I want to marry you -someday- because I care about you, more than I care about myself, and I love hanging out with you and just being with you everyday. Because you let me be myself and make me want to be the best version of myself. Because I want a family with you - you and your parents really make me feel like family already. And you know I wanna have kids with you someday! I have so much fun with you, and I want to face every hardship with you. I am in heaven every second I get to be around you. I cherish every memory we make, and I am excited to be there for you, to always depend on. I want you to be free, just hopefully with me by your side."
She grinned and blushed over his outpouring, and basked in just watching his face. "So, you're really okay, though? With no engagement then?"
"Blondie, listen," he smirked as he tucked her hair behind her ear. "The only way you're getting rid of me, is to ask me to leave." His hand trailed around to cup her cheek. "Otherwise, as long as you'll have me, in any way shape or form, I swear, I would never leave you. Never. I promise you that."
She leaned into his touch, smiling, as her hand came up to his. "Unless it was to save your best friend."
His expression fell. "Yeah, yeah I do suppose there's that." He hung his head, slid his hand down to her shoulder, and took a deep breath. "I wanna say that nothing should ever come before you, but…" He looked back up to her with a bit lip. "But I couldn't just let him die, and I had no other option but to comply. Without you and Cass, we couldn't- I cou-"
Rapunzel pressed her fingertip to Eugene's open lips, startling him into silence. "I understand. And," brushing the soft pink under her fingers. "Like I said, I'm proud of you." She locked onto his rich dark eyes, pressed by his worried brow. "Eugene, you will never be able to rationalize this. Because you keep looking for a way to blame yourself, but you can't find it. No matter what else you've ever done, it's not your fault that they came back and threatened his life. You made the right call, saving him."
He sighed and watched her.
Her own worry began showing through. "Eugene, do you really think I was okay with putting the kingdom and my parents before you, when I sent you out into that snowstorm?"
That brow turned to joyous disbelief. He kissed at her fingers, tickling her and sparking giggles. He smirked under her touch, finally accepting the compliment, feeling a warmth radiate out of it, that quickly embraced all that he was. He held her hand as he moved it away. "I guess we're even then."
"And that's exactly what weneed to be okay with doing. If I'm going to be Queen, then we're both going to have to put other people first sometimes. Then, you knew I had the Guard to help me, and Cass and Nigel."
He nodded against her. "I know. I do know that, but last night, I just wanted to be the one by your side. But I know- if I wanna be your partner as Queen, that means… Yeah. Putting others first."
She shrugged shyly. "Guess that's just a side effect of being royalty."
He shrugged. "At least we never have to face anything alone anymore. And as long as you want me by your side, I'm happy to be here. We're enough for us."
"We are. And, well, I want you by my side tonight, so," she slipped her fingers along his chin, down his neck to the collar of his cape, gripped the clasp holding it together, and pulled. "Hmm-mm," she hummed, "You should, take some of this off."
Eugene gulped, both excited for this context in which to be in her presence tonight, and nervous remembering those nights of the past month. His hand came up and idly clutched a large embroidered button of his vest.
Rapunzel pulled away, suddenly unsure how they should proceed as a physically intimate couple through this. "That is- unless you-"
"Huh?" He sensed her own discomfort and snapped out of it and back to the present moment. "Oh, no, no, no, Blondie. It's fine. I was just thinking… way too much…" He relaxed and undid the cape, revealing a leather side chest holster with his Bowie knife. "Yeah, I can't sleep in this, heh." He folded the cape up and tossed it atop a stack of crates, then casually unbuckled the strap for the holster and laid it atop the cape. Then he started on the buttons of the solid black vest.
She watched his fingers begin to tremble though, and finally rested her hands over them.
He sighed. "I'm sorry..."
"Look at me."
He did, biting his lips.
"Are you okay?" she cringed.
He automatically forced a smile. "I'm f-" Suddenly he froze. After a deep breath, he calmed down, his own soothing voice returned. "I'm okay. Promise. I'm with you. I'll be okay as long as I'm with you."
She slowly continued unbuttoning it for him, keeping a careful watch on his eyes. He gently held her wrists as she worked.
"Don't look at me like that, Blondie," he blurted, a charming smirk naturally returning to his face.
"Sorry," she sighed. "I just worry about you."
"I want this," he easily voiced with confidence, his full smile returning. "No question. I want you. And I trust you. With anything."
Soon she was finished, and slid her hands inside to his black shirt below, and up his warm tender chest, up to his shoulders. His eyes rolled back under fluttering lashes. She pushed the vest off and down his arms. The arm holes around his elbows kept his arms restrained momentarily. He leaned his head all the way back, relishing being in her hands. She stole a kiss right on his Adam's apple, making him gasp and moan.
"I thought we weren't supposed to be 'doing anything' tonight?" he teased, bringing his head back to lazily nuzzle the side of her neck.
"Just a kiss," she cooed, and finally pushed the vest to drop to the ground.
"'Just?'" He smirked mischievously, but his spirit had been lifted enough, and things felt comfortably normal enough between them. He took her hands again, and pressed them against his pants belt buckle. He then gripped her sides tight and returned to her neck, open-kissing it. "Go ahead," he whispered.
The tickle of his breath, tingle from his lips, and the surge from his tongue, all worked to distract her helplessly as she moaned. She fumbled but unlatched the belt of his pants and slid it out, detaching the sheath with his recovered sword and bloated change purse of some booty in the process. He took it all and set it aside with the cape, but planned on keeping his pants themselves simply for warmth.
"By the way, Eugene…" she blushed.
"Huh?" he asked as he yanked his boots off, careful to pluck out the other two small daggers stashed in them.
"That was brilliant, stowing Pascal away in there," she pointed. "He was able to confirm- well, explain everything and give us positions."
"Well, it was brilliant to send him in." He blushed back as he stood his boots up beside the foot of the makeshift bed, then he turned back to face her. "I can't tell ya how relieved I was when I heard him waddle in." His eye caught the pile of flowers pulled from her hair yesterday, and she noticed. He bit his lip while sucking in a breath. "But ya know," he said quietly and with great care, "You didn't need to, like, convince me to come back." Their eyes locked, glassy with furrowed brows.
Her small fragile voice came out, delicately trusting him. "I… was just scared…"
"The thing is," he smirked, "You don't have anything to be scared of anymore."
She cracked a smile that spread wide. "Well, no, I'm not scared anymore."
He slipped his fingers into the swoop of hair at her temple, moving it to hook over her ear. "I guess I did give up on us for a while there, when I thought it was just impossible, but I've only ever wanted you to be safe and happy, even if it couldn't be with me. Same as always. I would never intentionally hurt you, Blondie."
She closed her eyes and nuzzled into his hand. "That's the Eugene I know."
"That's who I choose to be." He nodded, then shrugged over at the flowers, "Of course I noticed the flowers yesterday. And you're right, your birthday last year was probably still the best day of my life. But I'm sorry I couldn't..."
She opened her eyes to see him so worried.
His hands moved to stroke her sides. "You never need to convince me. I called for you to come help get us out. Did you really doubt me that much yesterday?"
"All I knew," she laid her hands across the revealed black linen on his chest, "Was that you had reportedly married a baron's daughter, and that I got a letter in your handwriting saying 'Help, Trapped by the Baron in Vardaros.' The Captain knew that she was an old girlfriend of yours at least, so I didn't know what to make of it all exactly, whether you were trapped from the beginning, or whether you changed your mind back and forth... but it gave me hope, that I'd at very least get closure…" Her hands slipped down the edges of his pects and toward the center, over his heart. "Hope that I'd get to see you, one last time..."
"Trapped from the beginning." He squeezed her sides. "I… I always knew you'd come. But I wasn't sure if you'd… take me back."
She smirked through her old emotions. "That was never a question on my end."
"Nor mine." His smile returned.
"Consider yourself taken, then."
He chuckled. "I do." He leaned down for a kiss, which then ended in chuckles again. "We should turn in already."
Grinning, she released him, and he plopped down atop the makeshift bed.
"Oh-" Rapunzel jumped a step toward him, "Eugene!"
"Huh? Wha?" he checked where he sat, if he had maybe sat on something.
"I have something for you!" she squealed, bounding to disappear behind a tall and wide hap-hazard pyramid stack of crates around one of the tent poles.
He chuckled. "Oka-a-a-y…?"
She came back around the other side, dragging a large rectangular chest along the ground behind her.
Eugene's eyes popped as he recognized it, and he jumped to his feet to help her pull. "Blondie!" he exclaimed, feeling his heart warm to near bursting.
"Urgh!" she shoved it sideways for him to open it facing him. "Whew! Here ya go!"
"Sweetie, you didn't have to." He reached to hug her, but her hands immediately flew to open all the buttons down the black linen dress shirt he wore, but did not exactly own; the entire black outfit had come from the Baron. "Buh- Blondie!" he lightly gasped, but gladly allowed her.
"I'm sorry, but you-" She took a deep breath and sighed quietly. "You don't completely smell like yourself."
His eyes focused in understanding, idly nodding. As soon as she finished his last button, he shrugged out of it and whipped it to the ground, eager to embrace her again against his bared skin. But he had forgotten himself; suddenly she yelped and jumped back in horror, covering her mouth. Eugene looked down at where she stared: his chest and arms. His wrists still held bright purple rings, and more red systemic lines and purple to brown bruises speckled the rest of his skin. He froze, embarrassed, but unsure what to do about it.
"Eugene, what-" she cried, but he was quicker.
He yanked her back to him, into a hug. "I'm alright, it's okay. They'll heal and fade, it's okay. They'll heal."
She lifted her head above his chest to his still-red-scratched shoulder, as his arms pulled her tight, but her hands barely touched him. She tensed wherever she felt pressed against him, trying to handle him oh so gingerly. "Doesn't it hurt?"
"No," he whispered. If he paid attention to it, the lines and the bruises were slightly sore, but it hurt more to not have her touch. He pulled tighter against her resistance. "M'sorry," he whimpered again, kissing her forehead. "I didn't mean to frighten you."
"You didn't, it's just- I worry about you!" She leaned back and cupped his cheek. "And it's not your fault, remember?"
He grinned, and pet her hand on his cheek. "Right, sorry- ah-" They both chuckled.
Rapunzel looked back down at his heaving chest, and gently ran her palm along his smooth skin, from his pect down to his waist. "I…" she began, but bit her lip.
"What?" he asked quietly, watching her.
"I'm sorry-"
"It's not your fault, either."
"No, I mean… I just can't believe that- I mean, I do- I do believe you, but-"
"Enough qualifiers," he chuckled, "I know you care."
"How could she do this to someone she says she loved?"
"Well," he looked away, biting his lips. One way or another, I asked for it...
"She was torturing you, and thought that THIS would make you love her?"
"Blondie," he cringed, "It's not exactly how you think. I mean, at the end of the day, yes, that's exactly what it ended up as, but… That's not all it was."
"What?" she looked up to him, confused.
He groaned, "It was the only way I could… do it, 'cause I just kept thinking about you, so…"
"Do wha-"
"Please don't make me explain this right now. I promise I will one day. I promise it'll all heal up quickly. The freshest stuff is just from last night, and normally I wouldn't be doing this that often, so there's a lot of backlog to heal up, too. But I'm fine. Here." He held his hand over hers on him, and ran it back up his torso and chest, pressing harder to trigger pain from wherever she touched - happy to rewrite it as coming from her hand instead.
But her lip and arm were trembling. "I could never hurt you, Eugene- In any way, for any reason!"
He looked back at her, concerned now. Oh- "And you don't have to, at all, if you don't want to." He lifted that hand from where it was digging into a bruise, and brought it instead to his lips. "If it's something you're not comfortable with, then that's fine. I won't ask you to."
She winced at him, but cupped his cheek, directing him into a soft and slow kiss. She held his face, petting his cheeks and caressing his neck, trying to wrap him in her care.
"But please don't be afraid to touch me." He gripped her waist tighter. "I need that."
She nodded and rested her hands on his chest again. "But only as gentle as ever."
"That's fine. But I just need to feel you." He hugged her fully and dearly again.
She hugged back, but soon released him. "You should get changed before you get cold."
"You keep me warm," he quipped with a smirk, but let go. He finally dropped to kneel in front of the chest, flung it open, and sunk both arms into the sea of his own clothes. He breathed it in deep himself, the familiar cool cedar scent. Blues, greens, beiges, and browns of cotton and twill made up most of it; everyday casual clothes. Starch whites, soft delicate greys, and satin blacks and royal purples were reserved for a few more dressy pieces. He slowly lifted his gold sash out, and ran his fingertips over and around the golden Coronan sun emblem on it. He bit his lip to help hold back the swell of emotion. 'Aren't you basically a prince to them already?' Already officially representing Corona with her, so kinda, I guess... Rapunzel's hand came to his shoulder, and he choked but smiled, nuzzling a kiss into her arm. He sighed as he carefully repacked it.
He easily fished out his dark blue pajamas. He held them up and looked to her, knocking his own breath out as he even thought of asking her. He quickly pulled the shirt on, but continued digging. His hand brushed a familiar texture underneath everything, and, recognizing it was exactly what he wanted, he pulled it out. It was his green guard training shirt; clean, but with permanent stains all over it. It was soft but tight on him, perfect for her to lounge in. He found two of his multiple beige peasant shirts, pulled one of them on, then stood. The long curved tail of the peasant shirt hung low enough to completely cover his waist, so he thought nothing of dropping his pants to change them right there as well.
"Oh!" Rapunzel turned red and covered her eyes anyway, as he just laughed.
"There we go." He secured the new pants and, still giggling at her, stepped up to her still-covered face. His hands gently took her elbows and parted her arms. "Thank you, so much, Rapunzel."
She looked him over, seeing how much more relaxed he was. "Mm, comfy now?" she asked, running her hands over the new soft cotton covering his chest.
"Yep!" But he eyed her lustfully, the scales in his head balancing. "Hey, com'ere." He grabbed the green training shirt, and the other beige peasant shirt, and handed them to her. "Youuu, should wear this to bed."
She took them and held them up, smiling but confused. "I'm already in my nightgown?"
He stepped up to her again, cinching his hands around her waist. He smirked as her breath hitched and her eyes darted back to his face. "Look how long it'd be on you. It'll be like a short nightgown anyway. Whadaya say?"
"But it's your shirt," she giggled. "Why would I-?"
"It'd be cute," he shrugged. "I mean, you know I love this nightgown, but I wanna see you in my clothes."
"Mmm," she giggled some more, considering.
He leaned over to kiss her ear. "And, it'll smell like me."
Her face lit up. "Ohhh, well in that case," she teased. She eagerly held it up to see how she was going to get it on without being naked in between.
Eugene offered, "I could turn a-"
"That's alright," she blushed. She did turn around herself, but let him watch. Her blue nightgown fell to the ground, revealing extremely little more skin to him, since most of her back was covered by her thick plait braid.
"Whoa-" Eugene surprised himself at the spark he felt shoot through him, at only this glimpse of the outer edges of her bare shoulders, back, butt, and legs. Well, it's different with HER.
She tossed the green shirt above her head and pulled it down, the thickness of her hair choking her in the collar.
Eugene instinctively grabbed for her hair, held the back hem of the shirt, and fed the thick braid up through the collar. "There you go."
"Thanks," she laughed, surprisingly heartwarmed by the domestic gesture.
"Anytime," he beamed, but stepped back again.
The peasant shirt, with its wide open neck went on more easily. She laced the large deep-V collar all the way up before turning back around. The bottom of the shirt indeed came down to her knees, and she had to roll the sleeves up.
"I can help you with your corset tomorrow, too, if you want."
"Oh, right," she laughed, remembering when he explained when and how he had learned things like, helping a girl get RE-dressed. He had helped her with corsets here and there before, but she had always already been decently enough covered otherwise. Her grin deepened, thinking about how he indeed only wanted to be devoted to her now with such things. Unconsciously, she rubbed her legs together, as goosebumps popped up.
"Hrm," he frowned. "Pants, too?"
"Uh," she chuckled, "If you don't mind?"
"I'll mind you getting cold! I guess 'skimpy' doesn't exactly go with camping," he laughed. He found another pair of shorter pants for her, which, on her, came down to her ankles.
She swished her legs back and forth, getting used to the feel. "At least your pants are nice and loose on me. I've tried on some of Cass's, but they're so tight..."
He grinned. "Come on," he took her hands in his, as he led her back to sit on the edge of the bed with him. Then he took her shoulders, directing her to turn away, and he found the end of her hair to start taking the ties out. "I missed doing all this little stuff with you."
Rapunzel was suddenly fighting tears. "Th-tha-ank you…"
"Not a problem, Sunshine," Eugene's soothingly quiet voice purred. "Told ya I haven't changed." He gently worked the strands apart, quickly moving up til he was near her neck. "I'm still the same guy." He more sensually ran his fingers through the hair behind her ears. "Nothing has changed," he whispered, but stopped abruptly on the last word. "Well, maybe one thing."
"Hm, and what's that?"
"I think I love you even more than ever before."
She giggled, despite the threatening tears behind it.
Slowly, he gathered all her now-loose hair up in one hand to brush to the side, then leaned in to kiss her newly exposed neck. Every follicle and nerve tingled with love. Her grip on his arms, encompassing her, intensified. As he took in the supple give at her pulse point, as his sandpapery five-o'clock shadow scratched at her velvet ear, as he breathed in deep her sublime scent, and he felt her shiver under his titillating touch, he moaned out himself, vibrating her earlobe through his teeth attached there. "Hey Beautiful…" His lips dragged toward her cheek. "Can I rebraid your hair tomorrow?"
"Of course," she squeaked, brokenly.
"Oh-ho, Sweetie," he winced through a smile against her temple. "Come here, Darlin'." He pecked a kiss there, as he pulled her backwards onto his lap.
"I thought you hated me," she cried into his shoulder. "But you-!"
"Com'ere," he instantly urged. His smile fell to scorn, for their external enemies. He turned her in his arms, to have her sit sideways on his lap, so he could clutch her against his chest while she hung on his shoulders, and he kissed her cheek.
"You're just as wonderful as ever… But I was so alone- AGAIN..."
Ever so slightly, he rocked her back and forth. "I know. I know you were hurting. For the whole month, I know it all felt impossible. 'How could I ever do that to you?' 'Of all people, how could I ever leave you?' 'What could you ever do to make it right?'"
"'What if he was lying? What if he didn't mean it? What if he just, didn't care? What if, it was all finally too much? So you found someone better...'"
"Blondie," he said with his voice deep and solemn, "Every night and day, I was wondering if you could ever still want me, after she'd had me again, if you'd ever wanna touch me again or even lay eyes on me-" His voice cracked. "Wondering if you knew how much I did still love you, and I could only imagine how your heart was breaking. And I felt all the more awful for knowing I was putting you through that."
She tucked her head in the crook of his shoulder, remembering those same thoughts. "But I just felt so guilty! I thought I had broken your heart in not saying 'yes' again."
"You didn't."
"I thought I hadn't loved you enough… Or maybe you were fed up with me."
"Never. Never, Darlin'." He ritually brushed her hair away this time, lips against her cheek. "You know that's not me. You know who that is in your head…"
"I know, but I got scared that it had all finally piled up and you- you just seemed so hurt and annoyed the last time I saw you."
"I mean, I was upset, sure, I didn't get what I wanted, at least maybe just not yet anyway. But it's your decision, and obviously neither time was you intending to hurt me. It didn't destroy us the first time, so I didn't think it would destroy us last month. And it didn't, technically."
She squeezed him as tightly as she could, hands running over and over his shoulders and back. "Certainly made me realize that I really, reeeally, hated being without you… You're the only one who knew me before- besides Pascal, and just, no one could ever compare. I don't wanna have to find somebody else- after you? But I was all alone again, and everyday, everything was just… an absence of you."
"I knew it would be, and I hated that for you… But I'm here now. For every little gap- I'm here again."
"Thank you," she giggled through a sob. "But after this whole month, I'm sorry, that all just still hurts, and-"
"Blondie," Eugene held her cheek and moved her face away, only far enough to focus on each other's eyes. "Look at me. You're not alone anymore, either. I'm here now. Which means I can help."
She stared at him, her lip quivering, searching his eyes. "Help like what?"
He winced at her, but took a deep breath. "I learned something when I was trying to get over how I used to feel about Stalyan, compared to how she actually used to treat me."
"What's that?"
"What you felt, is REAL. Alright? Your feelings were, and are, real. What actually happened in reality is something else. But in your head, what you have to deal with, are real feelings, even if they're only based on how you thought things were. I used to think she and I were in love. I had to deal with that crumbling away before I could deal with the hitting and name calling itself."
"But, I don't- you didn't leave, though! Everything IS fine! I shouldn't be-"
"Sweetheart," he sighed, "I love you, and I know that you are not fine."
She pouted and looked away.
"We're fine, sure, I believe you in that, but… I still disappeared on you. You've had to wrestle with that idea and all of those very real feelings for the past month."
She sobbed out to clear her voice. "I did think you'd left me- I know now that you didn't but- I thought I couldn't give you what you wanted, so you went looking for it elsewhere. I kept going over everything I could've done differently, everything I could've done more of, but I know-"
"And I believe you, when you say that you trust I would never realy leave you, and I wouldn't. But how did you feel when you thought I had?"
"Hurt," she blurted out, cringing with immediate regret, but she pushed forward. "Confused. Devastated. I wasn't even mad at you though! I thought I had hurt you too badly with how I- I thought I made you wait too long. And when I walked in on you, preparing to propose again… I thought I drove you away…"
"It's okay, just get it all out." He rubbed her arms, and squeezed her tight. His face rested in the crook of her shoulder, his lips resting against her flesh. "I'm here now. I'm here for you."
"I never wanted to hurt you…" she sniffled. "I stopped eating for like a few days."
"You didn't hurt me, and I know you wouldn't." He gave her another squeeze. "But, uh, me too. I tried to just sleep most of the time to escape, but then I would sleep like shit, and then it was a combination of having no appetite and refusing to eat anything of theirs."
She nodded all along. "Mom said I was depressed. But at the same time, I still had more than I ever had in the tower- more love, more freedom-"
"It's all relative," he shrugged and smiled. "My disappearing still took plenty of the important stuff away from you. A lot of love- your first and only romantic love, my support against your dad, your trust in me, thoughts of our future… I'm, not surprised to hear you fell into a depression. That's clearly where I was, too."
"I thought I waited too long- I'm still scared of asking you to wait too long. I kept beating myself up for not saying 'yes' when I had the chance…" She paused a while, wrestling with the morphing blob of feelings within her, trying to understand all the negativity that swarmed there, making her dizzy. She rested her head on his shoulder, and his hand came to hold her steady there.
"I'll still wait…" he whispered.
Realization hit Rapunzel. "It felt like, Gothel was right…" Suddenly it all made sense. "Like when I ran into the Stabbingtons alone- when I saw you leaving, tied to that boat- and it felt that way again! It felt like Gothel was right! That I didn't give you what you wanted, I didn't give you- the everything that would come with marrying me, so you left me, because…"
"You're used to people using you," he somberly finished her thought. "And if I couldn't use you…"
"Yes," she gasped through a sob.
Eugene clutched her as tightly as possible, and she squeezed him back, hiding her face in his chest. "Rapunzel, the only thing I want out of marrying you, is YOU. Alright?"
She whimpered and nodded against him. "I know that, but…"
"I don't even need a marriage; I just want you. But you feel scared of being used again?"
She groaned in affirmative response. "She used me all my life. Cass was using me at the Princess Contest, Varian used me to get the sundrop flower. And I never saw any of it til it was too late! Sometimes it even feels like my dad only sees me as a mindless successor to do his bidding. And you would get everything you ever wanted-!"
Eugene winced and squeezed her even tighter, easily following the whole train of thought now. "You thought I was just trying to use you, too. Which would mean I didn't love you for who you are, and that would mean Gothel was right, and your whole life since meeting me, had just been another lie… That I had only ever lied to you. Oh, Sweetheart…" His arms held her securely while his hands continually smoothed all of the long-again gold-again hair away from her face.
With both hands, she gripped his shirt for dear life, pulling it taut around his back, to bunch into her face. "That's it…" she squeaked. "That's all of it exactly!"
He rubbed her back, kissed her neck, then loosened his hold on her, running his hands down her arms, to her hands. "That is devastating to even consider. But, at least it looks like we've found rock bottom," he smiled sadly.
She sat with that a moment, feeling it all over again. Finally, she nodded with a great sigh.
"Now," Eugene directed, bringing her hands to his lips, "Can we build back up from there?"
She sniffled, but finally lifted her eyes to meet his warm, welcoming ones, full of all his love for her. She automatically smiled, and nodded again. "Yes."
"Rapunzel," he recited, maintaining solemnly deep eye contact. "I can't say I've never lied to you, but, you know my heart. To the point of death, I've shown you I don't really want anything from you. I mean, I want your love, your companionship, and, believe it or not, I do want your approval. I want you to be happy- truly happy, I wanna see you laugh- but if things are tough, I wanna be able to help you through it. I want you to be able to depend on me."
She smiled, listening and feeling his calming affirmations build upon that foundation.
"I shouldn't have tried to put you on the spot to make me look good with that first proposal. But I am sorry for that; I… was wrong."
She cringed with him, but giggled. "It's… okay."
"I went out in that snowstorm because I love you, and I love your parents, and I want you to have them for as long as you can. When you told me you may not wanna be Queen, I was only worried about YOU. It's true that any good thing in my life right now is thanks to you. But that doesn't mean I'm using you. Of all the royal perks..." he sighed. "I'd give it all up in a heartbeat if you wanted. I joined Team Rapunzel before you ever told me you were The Lost Princess Rapunzel. Okay?"
She sighed and hugged him again. "Thank you, Eugene. Thank you for everything. For, helping me through this too."
"Honestly, I can't believe you're not mad at me."
She shook her head on his shoulder. "No. No, I don't feel mad at you at all. I'm angry for you, but I- after everything you told us, I could never be mad at you for any of this. And, I know it sounds strange, even to me, to not be mad at you for literally marrying someone else, but I just can't- and I am sooo glad Lance is okay! But I have been losing my mind and missing you to death."
His fingers returned to her hairline, combing back through her hair soothingly, while his other hand rested on her back under her hair, over her heart. "You know, you know, Blondie, my love never left you. All my love is for you."
She fell back to look in his eyes, amazed. "And mine never left you. And I do know that now, I feel it, from you, I trust you- I never stopped trusting you - but I thought…" She gripped his shirt in fistfuls, and whispered into his chest. "Every night, I was just thinking about how you must not want to be with me, for one reason or another, or maybe all the reasons..."
"Never." Eugene whimpered himself, and rocked her where they sat. "I was thinking how much I did want to be with you, terrified I'd never even see you again… I…" He gulped, only comforted by latching his lips onto her neck briefly. "Actually nevermind being angry, I was certain, that if you ever saw me again, you would hate me..."
"I could never HATE you," she laughed a little, picking her head up to look at his own troubled face. Her hands came up to hold his warm cheeks, which he leaned into. Thumbs rubbing there comfortingly, she continued. "I will always LOVE you, Eugene. No matter what. I am so sorry you went through all that. And I don't want you to feel trapped with me either. There's nothing to fear here, no obligation, no guilt…"
He shifted her a bit across his lap and how his arms wrapped, and wandered, about her. "Um, do you remember-... Ah, maybe you don't, but… Do you remember the night of the day we met? Around the campfire?"
"Every moment," she smiled.
He perked up. "When you told me you liked Eugene Fitzherbert a lot more than Flynn Rider. And I meant it when I said you were the first. I didn't even like it. Lance was the only other person who even knew my name, but he didn't like either of our names, 'cause he said they sound too 'stuffy.' And Stalyan, I never really told her my real name, way back. I tried just mentioning the name 'Eugene Fitzherbert' years ago, to actually use as a cover name for some ball we were trying to infiltrate to pickpocket, but ahhh, she thought it was so stupid and laughed at it... I didn't try actually telling her it was my real name til last month. And then she didn't believe me and kept insisting that was the lie. That's why I said that before-"
Rapunzel moved her finger back to his lips. "It's okay… I suppose Flynn Rider can be helpful, but Eugene Fitzherbert is still my favorite," she chuckled.
He smirked and blushed. "You know, you're technically the first girl I've ever been with as Eugene. Everyone else only ever knew me as Flynn."
She grinned ear to ear. "Well, and it is nice to know, that I rescued Lost Little Eugene."
"You did." He bit his lip as he grinned at her, but tried to continue where they had started. "But, uh, so I mean, I want you to know, I do trust you, too. Long before you raised an army for me," he managed to sneak a laugh in.
"Oh really?" she cooed. "So, besides the army, why is it you trust me?"
He took a deep breath and blew it out dramatically. "Wooo, wow, um, there's like, no reason not to trust you," he laughed, but then settled them down solemnly, rubbing her thighs, further grounding himself. "Blondie, I took my last breaths in your arms. There's no one in this world I could ever trust more than you. I know you love ME. The only time I felt I might end up losing my freedom, because of you, was back when we first brought you back to your parents, but that turned out miraculously."
She hugged him tighter, resting her head back on his shoulder, but looking up at him.
"But now I know, I am safe, and I am free, so I'm not fearful of anything with you. I'm not just here out of obligation. I'm… working on the guilt. But I know that's from myself, not you. So no, I don't feel trapped with you. Not in the slightest. I don't think I could ever feel trapped..." He smiled fully. "Even though without you, I'd be lost, and quite literally homeless again."
She ran her fingers through his hair, as he lowered his head for her, relishing her playing with it. "Not even that. You know my father would see you taken care of regardless."
He smirked. "But you're my home, so. Wherever you are is the only place I want to be." He shrugged. "And ya know, even if something had happened to me here, it's you I'm coming back to haunt," he smiled again, then brushed noses with her, finally drawing out another giggle from her.
"Oh, would you now?" she teased back, tickling under his goatee. "You'd come make my books float around and try to scare me?"
"Yeahahah," he chuckled against her ear. "You'd have a Ghost-gene following you around for-evermore," he teased, switching to imitate a raven's voice at the end.
She giggled at his voice and reference, delighting in nuzzling their laughing faces about each other. They eventually settled down, both enchanted by the other's warmth on their face, and how the bright lantern light played across them. "Eugene," she sighed. "Ready for bed?"
"Am I ever," he groaned happily, though butterflies crept up on him as he looked her all over. Her long hair shining, catching every faint glimmer of light as both wound all about them. Her intriguing eyes and smile in the dark. Everything I thought I'd never see again… "Rapunzel," he gasped deeply, with a deliberate and unique tone that drew her attention to his own face. He sat angled now toward the head of the bed, and toward the lantern. His face lit up, revealing such a heat, with softened edges giving way to dark shadows defining his loving features. "Other than a nap today, I haven't slept in two days and I'm exhausted." Somehow though, he grinned. "But I feel like I'm finally waking up… From all those nights… I can finally see again, and all I see is YOU." Entranced by her innocent awe, but smirking without worry this time, he swiftly brushed her swoop over her ear. "My Love." Then that hand trailed down, to hook behind her neck, and began directing her closer. "My Dream."
Eyes darted around each other's face, only growing their smiles, til they locked on, and -
Their lips met in triumph. She grabbed for his neck, and he yanked her closer, adding his other hand to the other side, and moaning out for her. He pressed himself up to her, causing her to lean back to the blankets, as he followed atop her. Fumbling around, while both refusing to leave the kiss, no matter how many times a giggle almost broke it, they managed to get situated in the 1-person bedspace. He wriggled into the inside corner, arms strapped across her back for extra security from her rolling off her side.
"You still okay with me staying? I could always go take that extra tent, no problem."
"Nooo," she moaned, "I want you to stay. Man I love, loves me back, so I wanna stay with him."
He could not help but pout at the simple declaration. "You're the love of my life, Blondie."
"And you're mine," she peeped.
"Never thought that about anyone else." A peck on her nose.
"Hmm, I love you." She pecked his lips back.
"I love you too," he whispered, savoring the casual moment as the dearest thing in recent memory.
With one more quick eyes-open kiss, and more humming giggles, she spun around within his arms and settled in to spoon her back to him. From there she reached to turn the lantern off, then recollected all their arms across her chest, sparking a disagreement.
Eugene tried to hold her arms against her, meanwhile Rapunzel tried to hold his against her. More giggles and laughter of "no"s erupted as they physically bickered. "Fiiine," he cheerfully gave up, "You win." His forearms smushed her breasts, making his own breath catch, off-guard. Blondie… Oh how I've wanted you- to feel YOU!
Meanwhile, she revelled in running her hands over his forearms. "No, now we're just even."
"Heh, but, uh, hey. By the way," he chuckled, nuzzling into her neck, "If you feel anything poke you, just ignore it or push me away, or wake me up, okay? Just don't freak out, ya know."
She giggled. They had wandered into this discussion before. "I remember."
"Heyyy, I'm just reminding you, that in my sleep, it happens! Doesn't mean I'm doing anything, or whatever. It's awkward, for both of us, but it's completely involuntary." He giggled back, as he pulled her hip back against his. "And your 'bed' is verrry tight here."
"Yeaaahhh," she cooed, unnecessarily pushing herself into him as well, and twisting her legs around with his.
"Hmm," he hummed back, helping hook their bare feet around each other's ankles. A few deep breaths, from where his nose was dug into her hair, and he finally began to relax, knowing sleep would come, but hoping any dreams would be as good as this reality. The familiar fragrance of her hair and the comfort of her warm softness indeed quickly lulled him to dozing.
A/N: Thanks for bearing with me there! 2 more still to come, that are NOT as singularly rambly.
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