Jest Chapter 2, a pride and prejudice fanfic

I had not planned on this...

~~~J~~~

Before Darcy could say a word, the door opened and in walked Mrs Collins.

Elizabeth rushed to her friend. 'Dearest Charlotte, have you come to see if your scheme worked? I have to tell you that Mr Darcy performed admirably. He quite cheered me up.' Elizabeth smiled at her friend with affection.

Mrs Collins looked at Elizabeth and then at Mr Darcy, who stood by the fireplace trying not to fidget, with an air of complete bewilderment. 'What scheme?' she asked in befuddlement.

'Why, the scheme to have Mr Darcy deliver the second worst proposal in history. That jest worked like a charm. I feel quite restored to my usual humour. You must have asked him the minute you arrived at Rosings, and I congratulate you on your powers of persuasion. You were barely gone half an hour, when Mr Darcy arrived to carry out your plan.'

'But I have not seen Mr Darcy all day,' Mrs Collins blurted out without thinking of the consequences.

'You have not seen… But when did you arrange for this? You could not have known prior to today that I would need cheering up.' Now it was Elizabeth's turn to be bewildered.

Both ladies turned to Mr Darcy, who now wore an exceedingly pained look on his countenance.

It had been bad enough that Elizabeth had laughed at him when he proposed, and then expounded her reasons for believing it to be a jest.

He had planned to save his pride and agree with Miss Elizabeth and then remove himself, before they were interrupted.

But now, to have his faux-pas made public, and in such a fashion, was humiliating in the extreme.

One thought came to mind. There was something Elizabeth had said, which might derail this conversation. 'The second worst proposal, Miss Elizabeth? Pray tell, who delivered the worst addresses.'

Now it was Elizabeth's turn to look uncomfortable, as she gave a sidelong glance at her friend.

Charlotte noticed the look and laughed. 'Do not concern yourself about upsetting me. I suspect that I know that perpetrator. Exceedingly well…'

'Yes, Charlotte. I am afraid that was your husband. Of course, that was before found a much more suitable wife, who has the patience and understanding of a saint.'

'Mr Collins proposed to you?' exploded Darcy. 'But that man…'

'Your host. The Master of this house,' interjected Charlotte, before Darcy could get carried away.

Darcy had the grace to colour, even if only slightly. This piece of information was a revelation of a different sort. He had assumed that the Bennet ladies would accept the proposal from any man who could provide security for them. Such as Bingley could for Jane Bennet.

The fact that Miss Elizabeth had rejected Mr Collins, spoke volumes about the integrity of the lady. He could not but believe that Elizabeth had indeed rejected Collins, since the man would not have withdrawn such an offer for a prize like Miss Elizabeth.

'My apologies, Mrs Collins. I spoke out of turn.'

'That is quite understandable. I gather that you have had several shocks. Not the least of which was to have your proposal rejected by my friend.' She turned to Elizabeth. 'Just out of curiosity. Why was Mr Darcy's proposal marginally better?'

It seemed to be an evening for blushing, but Elizabeth's courage rose to the challenge. 'While both gentlemen expressed similar sentiments as regards to my family and fortune, at least Mr Darcy did not offer Lady Catherine's order as having prompted him to his addresses.' At her friend's disbelieving look, she added with a deepening blush, 'he is also more physically appealing.'

Darcy was grateful for small mercies. At least Elizabeth found him more attractive than that revolting toad. Although, on reflection, that was an exceedingly minute mercy. Almost any man would be more appealing than Mr Collins. How Mrs Collins could tolerate… no he would not consider the subject. He had problems enough of his own to deal with.

Elizabeth realised that while they had been speaking of the gentleman, he had not put in an appearance. 'Where is your husband?' she asked nervously.

'Fortunately for you, he remained behind to discuss a parish issue with Lady Catherine, otherwise he would have been shouting about how you compromised Mr Darcy by spending time with him without a chaperone.'

Elizabeth blanched. 'You do not believe…'

'I do not,' Mrs Collins declared firmly. 'But I believe that the two of you need to clarify a few things. I believe that I shall order tea and give you a chance to speak.'

Mrs Collins stepped out of the room, leaving the door open, and called for the maid to bring tea to the parlour.

Since all was known already, Darcy decided he had nothing to lose. While he was chagrined that Miss Elizabeth had considered his offer a joke, and proceeded to explain to him why she rejected his proposal, she had made valid points. Yes, his pride had led him astray, but he was not so conceited that he could not acknowledge his faults, when pointed out to him so eloquently. He would try to make amends.

'Miss Elizabeth, please allow me to apologise for my myriad mistakes, beginning with my insult at that assembly, and the abominable speech I made earlier, and everything in between of which you accused me. And probably a number of offences which slipped your mind.'

Elizabeth looked at Mr Darcy and was amazed. Gone was the haughty man she had known all these months. Instead, he looked embarrassed and… was that pleading?

'Mr Darcy, you may apologise, but I must confess that it may take me some time to forgive you. I had months to practice hating you…'

'I quite understand. In your situation I suspect I would be refusing to even speak to me.'

Elizabeth sighed. Since Charlotte's arrival, she had realised that Darcy's proposal, while insulting, was made in earnest. And she had laughed at him. 'I too owe an apology. It was most cruel of me to laugh at you. I simply could not comprehend that you could be serious. I offer that as an explanation, not an excuse. I did not mean to occasion pain to you. It was most unconsciously done.'

'You did not say anything that was not true, and under the circumstances your reaction could have been so much worse.' He remembered the phrase last man in the world.

Elizabeth nodded. 'I suspect that if I had thought you to be serious, rather than jesting…' She shook her head, wondering how vicious she might have been, had she been angry rather than amused.

'Miss Elizabeth, since you are now aware of my feelings for you, would you be prepared to give me a chance to make up for my… stupidity? I may have faults, but I am not an altogether bad man. I believe I do have some good qualities. Tonight, you have opened my eyes to a number of character flaws, which prompted my hubris. Perhaps if I address those issues, which I am determined to do, you might find me less repellent than you do at present.'

'You still wish to…' Elizabeth could not bring herself to say the word out loud. While she was not enamoured with Mr Darcy's behaviour and attitude of the previous months, she was cognisant of the honour that a man of his background should want to marry her.

'Marry you? Yes, I do. I have never before met a lady who is more interested in me as a man, than my wealth and connections. That you are beautiful and intelligent and kind and have a lively wit, only adds to your attraction. I would be honoured if you would give me a second chance.'

This time, Darcy did not display the confidence he had earlier. This time he prayed that he had not completely ruined his chance at happiness.

Now it was Elizabeth's turn to consider her options and desires.

~~~J~~~