Chapter Two

Going Nowhere

Naruto finished his poem, and though it still wasn't as good as he wanted it to be, it was satisfactory. Lately it felt like that was the best he could do: satisfactory.

No one waited for him outside the classroom. Iruka-Sensei had left an hour ago, leaving Naruto to work alone. They had a mutual understanding, since without saying so, Iruka-Sensei knew Naruto didn't like going home. He didn't ask questions, which Naruto appreciated. He was exhausted just thinking about the walk home, and irritated that none of his classmates had offered to drive him like they did Sasuke. Sasuke was adored so much that he took it for granted, while Naruto itched for just a taste of it.

The hallways were clear, except for the janitor with the round glasses and stark-white hair pulled into a ponytail. Naruto usually waved hello, but today the janitor looked sullen, much too focused on mopping up the same place over and over. Naruto passed him without a greeting, walking down the empty hallways of school and into the parking lot, where only the cars of students staying after for club sports were. Passing the baseball field, he watched them play, then admired Shino's fastball. Shino was quiet in class but excelled in sports. He was still weird, though, and no one liked how overly enthusiastic he was about the insect chapter in biology. Everyone had their quirks, and Naruto wasn't happy with his labels: class clown, idiot, nuisance, good-for-nothing. He had more to offer, but he was rarely given the chance, and he often wondered if he'd be wedged into such a category forever.

Making his way to the main road, he saw Sakura and Ino having coffee through the window of that new place that had just opened. They looked happy despite Ino's furrowed brow and Sakura's smirk. They looked comfortable, like this naturally competitiveness between them was expected and welcomed. He made it past them unnoticed, but when he took a short cut through an alleyway, he saw Sasuke sitting at a bus stop. A bus pulled up but promptly left, yet Sasuke stayed where he sat, with a notebook open on his lap.

Naruto took a leap and ran up to him, surprised when Sasuke didn't even look up when he stood in front of him. "So, you writing a new poem? Scared mine ended up better than yours?" Naruto taunted, then wondered why he couldn't start a conversation with Sasuke without being confrontational.

"Piss off," Sasuke said, writing another line.

It looked like some sort of list, but Naruto couldn't read it with Sasuke's arm partially covering the page.

"Nah, I'll bother you some more," Naruto said, taking the seat beside Sasuke.

Now that made him react. Sasuke closed his notebook and inched away, then leaned against the post of the bus-stop sign, looking tired and bored. I hate how cool he always looks.

"Did you write about something stupid again?" Sasuke asked.

So, he was curious.

"Do you want to read it?" Naruto asked, taking off her shoulder bag and digging through the mess of papers, pens, and textbooks.

"That's not what I asked." Sasuke sighed, then put his notebook away, looking ready to leave.

"Is pain stupid?"

Sasuke stopped, and Naruto was struck by his own honesty.

"And what do you know of pain, clown?" Sasuke stood over Naruto, looking fierce with such a weighted stare, which snuffed Naruto's want to share.

"Guess you'll never know," Naruto said, standing up and shoving Sasuke aside.

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's arm before he could walk away. "Watch it."

Naruto shook him off. "Unlike everyone else, I won't let you do anything you want," he said.

"Is that where your pain comes from, Naruto?" Sasuke said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Not being able to do what you want?"

Naruto was insulted by how simple Sasuke thought he was. "Now it's your turn to piss off," he said.

He listened for footsteps, wondering if Sasuke would bother following him, but he heard none. When he slightly turned enough to see behind him, Sasuke was back to sitting at the bus stop, this time looking at the posted schedule. Where in the world would he be going?

Once home—well, a decent version of one—Naruto kicked off his shoes at the door and hurried upstairs. Sai's bedroom door was closed, per usual. He was new to the foster home and kept to himself, always drawing pictures. Whether they were having dinner downstairs with the other kids and his current foster parents or watching G-rated movies in the living room with only one couch, Sai had a sketchbook with him. As a gesture of good faith, Naruto lifted some charcoal from the art room at school to give to him as a welcoming gift, which Sai took with a polite thank you and a smile Naruto could tell wasn't genuine. It was a step, but for now the guy's door remained closed.

Opening the door to his own room, Naruto dropped his bag to the floor by his bed and stripped off his uniform, settling on a T-shirt and boxers. He wasn't planning on going out again, instead wanting to work on other things. His foster parents rarely checked on him. As long as he was alive, fed, and stayed out of any real trouble, he was left to his own devices. It was his favorite home so far. The others only paid attention to him when he acted up or broke their rules, but these rewarded him with their indifference and offering of freedom, so it worked—for now.

Naruto pulled out his notebook and read his rewritten poem, the one he'd titled "Alone." He tossed the notebook onto the patio table that acted as his desk.

And what do you know of pain, clown?

He ran his fingers through his blond hair, scratching the top of his head, as was his nervous habit. "Loneliness, uglier than spotlight moments," he'd written, "is where I stay, not by choice but by fate."

"What a fucking cheese-fest," he said. "No one is going to take me seriously, ever."

He rolled off his bed and onto the floor. Starting his afternoon workout routine, he began with crunches and then with pushups. He didn't count, just kept going until he couldn't, until he was drenched in sweat, out of breath, and his vision blurred. His fresh shirt already dirtied, he took it off and used it to wipe his forehead. He went to his window, like he always did after a workout, and evaluated the neighborhood, which was full of couples on strolls, kids heading for the corner store, and parents—temporary or permanent—coming home from work. He kicked the drywall, making a small dent above the molding. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he was looking for Sasuke.

A bus stopped at the end of the street, and Naruto could make out the color but not the bus number. Every time that bus stopped, he considered boarding and not getting off until he was kicked off. He had a feeling Sasuke had the same urge, but they were both stuck in place.