Tony lingered at the airport long after Samantha and Hank's plane had taken off. In a way, the terminal had become like a second home. All those hours of waiting for his flight to Connecticut to leave, counting the minutes until he'd be back home with Angela and the family, or waiting to be the first person Angela saw as she got off the plane, excited for their weekend together. That's assuming it was one of the times things went off without a hitch, but even those hectic days felt sentimental now.
He didn't want to go back to the empty apartment. Within days, every trace of Angela had been removed – Afghans and all. It had been one of the longest weeks of his life. Knowing what he did now, the last few months felt surreal. Thank God for Sam and Hank staying behind. He played his feelings about the situation down, throwing himself into the role of tour guide and pretending nothing had changed, but he knew the real reason they extended their stay. They knew he was putting on an act and that he needed his daughter around. Who else could he turn to now that Angela was gone?
He should have listened to his gut. He shouldn't have tried so hard to convince himself Angela's unusual behavior was the simple matter of adjusting to a new life. He knew. He knew she wasn't happy and he never should have let himself believe she might actually be happy away from her job, her son, and New York. He knew and he ignored it.
If he had only hounded her more that day he came home to find her in tears, maybe he could have saved their relationship. They could have worked out a working plan that allowed both of them to be happy. Hearing three years broke her. In her eyes, he could see the last rope holding her together snap. He'd seen her beaten down before, but never as much as she did that moment in his office.
He wanted to believe he would see her again. She made sure to be clear her leaving didn't mean he wouldn't be allowed to see Jonathan. But as he watched yet another plane take off from the runway, he resigned himself to the fact she was gone for good. He'd have to write to keep in touch with Jonathan and hope he'd be up for visitors once he was settled at college. Luckily, Sam and Hank had their own line which made keeping in touch with them a bit easier. Angela might be able to face him, but he wasn't sure he could face her.
He wanted to be strong about this, tell himself that if he loved her, he could let her go. Maybe as time went on, but it wasn't going to happen in the near future. Guilt took him over, trying to figure out what he could have done to make her stay – if he should have fought harder. Then there was the guilt over the past year. He should have married her before taking the job at Wells. He should have married her when she brought it up after moving in. He'd lost sight of his priorities. And yet, he couldn't help but resent the fact that his career was the cause of everything else collapsing.
Angela had drilled it into him that he deserved to do something for himself that he'd come to believe it. The job in Iowa was the opportunity of a lifetime, especially for someone his age. Years of hard work had paid off. He'd earned this and she had been as proud as he was. Yet, it drove her away in the end. Now he had no clue what to think.
She was right when she said he was the happiest he'd ever been in his life. He had a career, and this time, it was more than just a sport. He was helping those kids in the classroom and on the field. He was fulfilled. He missed Sam but took comfort in knowing she was taken care of. Hank wasn't so bad after all. Jonathan, too, knowing he was too busy between school and friends to really miss him being around. The kids were grown despite all efforts to keep them children. They'd become wonderful people, which made it a bit easier to let go in the end. So long as Angela was by his side getting him through it, he had been on top of the world.
Living with her made him regret spending so many years too afraid to take that step. He was aware of the difference between living in the same house and living together but took for granted just how much. Having space without the kids or Mona made a difference, too. No wondering what everyone's schedules were if they wanted an evening alone, no snide comments or jokes when they showed any affection, no scrutiny… just Angela. They had the benefits of nearly a decade of knowing each other with the excitement of a still new relationship.
Would it have been so bad to have gotten involved sooner? Wanting to know his place outside the house had been the main reason for him to wait. However, he never stopped to think about what getting into a new career entailed (be it in Connecticut or Iowa). Until Iowa, they hadn't had much of a chance to explore what being in a relationship meant for them. Now that it was over, he saw how little time they had. He was grateful for the time they had in Connecticut, too, but if he'd known it was temporary, he would have made some different choices.
As the sun set, he knew he couldn't stay at the gate any longer. Unless he was willing to catch the next flight to New York, he had to face the empty apartment sooner than later. So much of him wanted to hop on a plane. He even glanced at the board on his way out. But he resisted, deciding he owed it to himself to stick it out. He loved Angela, but if one thing was made clear when they were together, it was what different lifestyles they led. Angela was set with her life while he was just beginning yet another new chapter of his.