A/N: This is what happens when I start to clean...then start to remember...then start to imagine. Each chapter in this piece is the same story, told with a different pairing. Pick the pair you like best, and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own no part of Stargate, or any of the characters therein. This is all just in good fun.
Super-Human Scent-sation
"What are you doing?," Daniel asked slowly, stopping short at the kitchen doorway. The stove was pulled out, the vacuum beside it, and from somewhere behind the metal barricade, Vala made a non-committal grunting sound that could have meant anything from 'I don't want to talk about it,' to 'you really don't want to know.' "Vala?," Daniel asked, moving gingerly into the crowded room to crouch down beside his wife.
"There was a smell," she answered sullenly, plopping her wash cloth back into the sudsy water and wiping a wet, soapy wrist across her brow, gluing an errant strand of hair to the side of her head in the process.
"A smell?," he repeated, understanding dawning.
"I've washed everything," she confessed miserably. "I started with the dishes, but that didn't help, so I emptied the garbage and scrubbed out that corner. Then I thought maybe one of us spilled something while cooking, so I washed the floor, but nothing helped so I moved the stove…"
"Vala," he interrupted gently, helping her to her feet, "why don't I grab some fresh water and finish up for you. You look exhausted."
"Can you move the fridge too?," she asked pitifully. "I don't think it's coming from under the stove, either."
"I'll see what I can do," he promised, ushering her from the room before she could think of anything else for him to do. "You go and rest."
Once Vala was safely out of the kitchen, he surveyed the area. The only thing he could smell was soap, but then again, he also wasn't gifted with the incredible super-smell of a pregnant woman. Four months in, and he'd already collected six brands of body wash, three tubes of deodorant, three brands of aftershave, and two tubes of toothpaste he was absolutely, under no circumstances, allowed to use in her presence Ever Again. Never mind the assortment of laundry detergents, fabric softeners and dish soaps he'd hidden from view out in the garage because the smell made her retch. Their house was scrubbed so clean, you could literally eat off the floors, but somehow, somewhere, there always lurked another funny smell.
Daniel sighed, refilling the bucket to finish what Vala had begun. He scrubbed in behind the stove, returned the appliance to its home, then tackled moving the fridge. He vacuumed and scrubbed all around it before cursing and swearing it back into place. And then he heard a quiet sob.
"Give me strength," he muttered, quickly stashing the cleaning supplies to join his sobbing wife on the couch. "What's wrong?," he asked gently, wrapping a reassuring arm around her as he pulled her close.
"You're just so wonderful," she hiccoughed, "and all I ever do is make more work for you!"
"You're really wonderful too," he reassured, "and I don't mind a little extra work if it means you're more comfortable."
"You moved a fridge for me!," she exclaimed tearfully. "They're really heavy!"
"Yes they are," he agreed, utterly baffled by the mood swings that came with the super-human sense of smell. Growing a baby had to be the single most confusing, exhausting thing any two people could ever chose to do together. The whole process defied all logic and reason, even more so than Vala usually managed on her own. As much as he loved the idea of having a baby with her, Daniel really hoped she'd only want to do this once. He really didn't think he could handle more.
She snuggled into him, her tears finally ebbing as exhaustion overtook her. Waiting until she was sound asleep, Daniel gingerly shifted her weight, settling her against some pillows and covering her with a blanket. He might as well start on dinner while she slept.
Moving back to the kitchen, he contemplated his options. He was ravenous, but everything quick and easy seemed to make Vala feel sick. He was going to have to cook for real, and hope she could stomach it.
Grabbing a bag of pretzels to keep his own stomach from getting too ornery, he set to work, making a passably-decent smelling pot of chicken stew. Just as he was beginning to wonder if he should wake Vala up to eat, or just let her rest, she came sauntering into the kitchen.
"Is the smell bothering you?," he asked, worried it'd been enough to wake her up, and that she wouldn't be able to eat even after all the work he'd put in.
"No, but you're amazing," she purred, pulling his head down for a searing kiss. Before Daniel could quite register what was happening, she was tugging his shift off over his head, running warm hands over every inch of skin she could find.
Reaching out to turn the element off, he obediently followed her to their room, shedding clothes as they went.
This, at least, was one part of the pregnancy he could really enjoy. Random, spontaneous, uncomplicated sex. They didn't even have to worry about birth control any more. It was perfect.
Right up until they finished.
"Oh god," Vala choked, running to the bathroom to retch loudly.
"Are you all right?," Daniel asked in concern, joining her by the toilet.
"That smell," she gasped, retching again.
So much for uncomplicated.
"I'll change the sheets while you shower," he offered, wondering if he should also open the window. It was February, but based on her reaction, the fresh air would be welcome. Sighing, he opened the window and stripped the bed, gathering all their laundry for a load. By the time he finished remaking the bed, Vala was out of the shower, shivering while she dressed.
"Sorry," Daniel said, shutting the window. "I thought fresh air might help."
"Probably," she shivered, pulling one of his sweatshirts on over her head. "Go get clean."
Repressing another sigh, Daniel did as asked. When he returned to the bedroom, Vala was curled into a tight ball under the blankets, looking utterly dejected.
"I really am a mess, aren't I?," she asked as he curled up beside her. Daniel wrapped an arm around her waist, thinking carefully before answering.
"I think," he offered hesitantly, "that someday, we'll be able to laugh about all of this."
"It's not funny," she objected mournfully. "It's awful."
"I know," he said, nuzzling the back of her neck. "But it's pretty incredible, too," he added, letting his hand stray to the early roundness of her belly. She was barely showing, but there was a definite change in the way she felt pressed against him.
It was still hard to believe that that small change would someday be their baby.
Vala rolled over to face him, still wrapped snugly in their blankets. "Can you handle another five months of this?," she asked worriedly.
"We're in this together," he promised, tracing his thumb along the side of her face.
"I have to be making you crazy."
"Maybe a little," he smiled. "But I know it's not easy for you, either."
"Do you think the sense of smell will go away as soon as the baby is born?," she asked.
"God, I hope so," he laughed. "As far as super powers go, this one stinks!"
Vala chuckled at the bad pun, nuzzling into him. "I love you, you know."
"I love you, too," he murmured, oddly content despite the evening's crazy.
"Hmmm," Vala hummed into him. "Were you making dinner earlier? I'm starving."
"There's stew on the stove," Daniel answered proudly.
"Oh, you know what would be so good right now?," she asked, sitting up.
"Not stew?," he guessed.
"Tacos."
Daniel buried his head against her.
"Are you mad?," she asked.
"Nope," he sighed, lifting his head. "Let's go get some tacos."
"Can you put the stew away so it doesn't go bad?," she asked, getting up.
"Yep," he agreed, rolling off the bed. At least it'd make a better snack than pretzels tomorrow night. "But Vala?," he added, before heading back to the kitchen.
"Yes?"
"Next time I have a cold, could you just remember this? Please?," he begged. "You know, instead of making fun of me?"
"You can have all the chicken noodle soup and crackers you want," she promised, throwing her arms around his neck. "As long as I don't have to smell it!"