Author's Note: This chapter's topic also comes from a fantastic thread in one of the Twilight Facebook groups. You all are so wonderful and have the best ideas, I just couldn't resist!
And if you have something you want to see this hilarious behemoth do or experience, send it to me in a PM or a comment. I'd love to use your idea!
Chapter 2: Graduation (Friends Forever)
"Explain to me again what's happening? I thought you didn't usually attend graduation ceremonies," Bella said, sitting down on the Cullens' couch next to Edward.
Sighing, he pulled her into his stone side.
"Every few schools, we get bored and decide to produce a valedictorian from our family. This time, Emmett and Jasper both wanted it, so they played Rock, Paper, Scissors for it," Edward said, rolling his eyes. "And Emmett won."
An amused laugh burst out of Bella's mouth. "So Emmett has to give the valedictorian speech at the ceremony?"
"And it is going to be a speech the great people of Forks aren't soon going to forget," Emmett bellowed, walking into the living room.
Walking behind him, Rosalie carried both their caps and gowns, dressed more as if she were heading for a New York nightclub than a small-town high school graduation ceremony. She held out one of the gowns to Emmett, who shrugged into the goldenrod-colored garment.
"And Edward has no idea what is in his speech," Rosalie sang, smirking at her brother.
Edward growled. "Yes, he has been blocking any thoughts of his speech since he wrote it last week."
"What about you, Alice? Didn't you see his speech?" Bella asked as Alice arrived at the bottom of the stairs.
"He promised to come to Paris Fashion Week with me and Rose next year if I blocked Edward. How could I resist that offer?" She shrugged.
A few hours later, Bella and Edward sat next to Alice, Esme, and Carlisle in the Forks High gymnasium as they watched the "older" three graduate. The room was stifling, the weather far more warm for June in Forks than was typical. Because of this, people were getting restless as the ceremony approached the valedictory speech.
"And now, to give our farewell speech on behalf of the students, Mr. Emmett Cullen," Principal Taylor announced in the microphone.
Ascending the stairs to the stage in one big leap, Emmett stepped up to the podium with a broad grin on his face. Principal Taylor looked confused, and a little scared, as he shook Emmett's massive hand.
Emmett reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, smoothing it onto the podium. He adjusted the microphone so it was near his face and tapped on it, producing ear-splitting feedback.
"Family, friends, faculty, and the students of the Class of 2005. Hell yeah, we did it!" A loud cheer erupted from the graduates, accompanied by scattered chuckles from the audience. "This is a day we have waited for for what feels like a hundred years. But now that it's here, we may wonder: What's next?"
Bella heard Edward groan next to her. She turned and saw he was pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes screwed shut.
"We have the rest of forever to figure out what we want to do and be. Maybe we plan to study hard and do great in college. Or we plan to blow off all our classes and party all day. Maybe we want to find the love of our life, or kiss a whole lot of frogs trying.
"If our high school careers have taught us anything, it's that anything and everything can happen in four years. We can change who we are, learn to be anything, do anything, between now and then. But I have one piece of advice for you."
"Oh, my God," Edward moaned, leaning forward to put his head in his hands.
"Don't get eaten by a bear," Emmett said, pausing as a wave of laughter swept through the crowd. Alice was bent over in her seat in silent laughter. Esme looked mildly mortified, while Carlisle simply appeared bemused.
"No, I'm serious! The bear you're facing can look sweet and cuddly, or even a little fun to wrestle with. But you will get eaten. And it will hurt. Your bones will be crushed and you'll be bleeding on the forest floor, crying for your mommy and daddy. You will regret trying to wrestle that bear, and you'll wish you'd never even wandered into the forest in the first place.
"Your bear may not be an actual bear. It may be partying or self-doubt. But it will be there, ready to gnaw on your femur and disembowel you. Walk away. Stay out of the forest. Keep your bowels intact.
"Don't. Get eaten. By a bear," he said, punctuating each phrase with a thud from his fist on the podium. "Cullen out!" he shouted triumphantly, raising his arms above his head as the graduates rose to their feet, yelling and clapping.