A/N: I was asked to write more and I said that I don't have time. That was true; I don't have time. But, I wrote this anyway. I guess this is a multi-chapter fic now. I'm making no promises about how often I'll be updating; I have another WIP and a million more other projects to work on, plus my real life is pretty hectic at times. But maybe, eventually, there will be more, so... yeah. Enjoy this chapter.

He'd planned to tell him when the weekend was over. But then Monday rolled around and Blaine was in such a good mood that he couldn't bring himself to ruin his week, so… he didn't.

He kept his mouth shut and nodded along patiently anytime Elliott came up – and, god, since when do they talk about Blaine's brother so much? Went along with all the wedding planning talk as Blaine asked what he thought about colours and venues and suits and groomsmen, and he'd even been doing a good job until they'd moved on to seating arrangements and Blaine asked, "Do you think Elliott will have a boyfriend then?"

He almost spits out his water. "What?"

"If he brings a date he'll need somewhere to sit. Obviously Elliott will be at the head table, so I'm just not sure if we should seat him with our family, or with some friends."

He hates the twist of jealousy he feels at even the possibility of Elliott having a boyfriend. He's engaged to Blaine, for god's sake, he doesn't get to feel jealous of his fiancé's brother's hypothetical boyfriend.

"Kurt?" Blaine asks, after Kurt takes too long to respond.

"Sorry, um… I don't know," Kurt stammers.

"Is everything okay?" Blaine asks, face softening. "You seem kind of off. You have for a while, actually, is it… did I do something?"

"No, no you didn't do anything," he reassures quickly, because, god, Blaine is the last person who deserves to feel guilty right now. Kurt could laugh at how backwards Blaine has this if it didn't hurt so much.

"Then what is it? Talk to me."

He feels frozen in place, not sure what to say, how to say this.

How do you say this?

"Kurt," Blaine repeats, pleads.

"I… I love Elliott," he says, quietly, looks away from Blaine as the words pass his lips.

He hears to confusion in Blaine's voice when he responds, "I know. I love him, too."

"No, that's not what I mean," he says, shakes his head.

"I'm confused," Blaine admits. "Do you… not want him in the wedding? He's my brother, Kurt, we've had our differences but I really think–"

"No, it's not that," Kurt cuts in, but then he's silent, and they just stare at each other.

"Then what is it?" Blaine asks softly.

"I love him," Kurt repeats, and it feels like a knife deep in his chest, twisting, to say it out loud.

"I know," Blaine nods, still looking at Kurt expectantly, like there's more.

But there's not. That's all there is. There's love, so much love, too much love and Kurt had never thought there was such a thing until he'd met Elliott.

"Blaine, you don't understand," Kurt says, feels his chest tightening, voice straining because this is it, there's no coming back from this once Blaine does understand.

"Then explain it to me," Blaine says patiently, taking Kurt's hand, and his heart breaks with the realization this could be the last time Blaine ever does take his hand.

"I love him," he repeats, quietly, broken. "I wish I didn't. And I love you, too, so much, Blaine, but... I love him, too. And I don't– I can't…" he trails off, at a loss for words, because he doesn't know what else to say. Doesn't know what can be said to make this admission right.

Blaine watches him carefully, and Kurt can see the confusion flicker to reluctant understanding.

"Kurt, I don't understand," Blaine repeats quietly, but Kurt knows that he does.

"Blaine." Kurt whispers his name like a plea.

"I don't…," Blaine starts, trails off, tries again. "How long?"

"Blaine," Kurt responds, shakes his head. He doesn't need to know this.

"How long, Kurt?" Blaine repeats, voice a little stronger, though it wavers.

"Does it matter?" Kurt asks desperately.

"Yes."

"Please, Blaine, I don't–"

"Kurt," Blaine Interrupts, "how long?"

Kurt swallows, looks down at the floor, feels his face flush with shame, because he should have told Blaine so long ago but he'd thought it would stop. Wished, hoped, prayed to a god that he's never believed in that it would stop.

But it didn't stop. It only grew stronger.

"How long, Kurt?"

"I don't know," he whispers.

"Then guess."

He takes a deep breath, steels himself for Blaine's reaction. "That trip we took to LA, maybe."

There's silence, and it feels like both an instant and forever, before Blaine speaks again, voice strangled and broken with the implication.

"That was before I proposed."

Kurt can't bring himself to speak, can't even nod in confirmation, just sits there with his eyes on the floor, wishing more than anything there was less love in his life.

"How long were you going to wait?" Blaine asks, voice just this side of hysterical as he stands to pace the room. "Until we were married? When we had children?"

"Blaine, no," he says, finally looking up at his fiancé, "I'm telling you now. Of course I wouldn't–"

"Of course you wouldn't what, Kurt?" Blaine snaps

He wants to say he wouldn't do that to Blaine, but… is this really any better?

"I love you," he says instead.

"Apparently not enough," Blaine spits back.

"Blaine, no, that's not true."

"Do you love him more than me?" Blaine stops pacing, levels Kurt was a steady, intense gaze.

"Blaine, please," Kurt pleads.

His face falters then, shifts from that of a determined man to that of a man just on the verge of being broken. His voice is weak, desperate, when he asks again, "Do you?"

It's the one question he'd prayed Blaine wouldn't ask. Because everything else they have a chance at coming back from; Blaine is forgiving, so fucking forgiving, too forgiving sometimes. He would have forgiven Kurt this, maybe. But if Kurt loves Elliott more… well, he's not sure that's something they could ever come back from.

He's not sure if he genuinely doesn't know the answer, or if he just doesn't want to accept the truth, but either way it's an answer Blaine doesn't want to hear.

"Please don't make me answer that," he whispers.

Blaine stares back with watery eyes, tips his head the way he does when he's trying to hold his emotions in check.

"Okay," he nods. "Okay, well um, I uh– I'm gonna go," he starts, voice high and strained.

"Where are you going?" Kurt asks nervously.

"I don't know, I just, um… I need some air," he says shakily as he slides on his shoes.

"I can go, if you'd rather, I don't want–"

"No, it's fine," Blaine cuts him off. "I'm just… I'm gonna go," he finishes, grabbing his jacket and walking out the door, pulling it closed softly behind him.

It is unquestionably, irrevocably not fine.