Loki railed into the nurse from behind, careening toward his release. He had his left hand on her hip, holding her firmly in place against the door to the supply closet. His other arm was around her body, his right hand covering her mouth to muffle her moans. He wished she would just be silent. Her voice was too high pitched, too different from the dark, sultry voice he wanted to hear that it was making it difficult for him to finish. He didn't want to be reminded of who he was fucking, he just wanted to live in the fantasy in his head. Eventually he came. The only sign that he had finished was a slight hitch in his breathing. As he pulled out the nurse sank down the door, her knees giving way. After tucking himself back in his pants, he offered a hand to her out of politeness. Taking it, she stood and began to get her own clothing situated.
Loki groaned internally. That whole encounter had been highly unsatisfying. He had hoped that a good fuck would get that coffee shop girl out of his head, but he hadn't been successful. The last three tries hadn't been successful either. Ever since he'd spoken to her and she'd turned him down flat he hadn't been able to rid her from his mind. It'd been a little over a month of it now, the constant barrage of her voice and her face. It was making it difficult for him to fully focus on ruling Asgard. In the dead of the night her soft, sultry voice would come to him, driving him insane and forcing him to take himself in hand. During the day, it was her cold monotone, reminding him that even though he was seemingly obsessed with her, she probably hadn't thought about him again. Every Thursday, when he fucked the nurse at the nursing home where he'd stowed Odin, he thought of her. He didn't understand why he was so infatuated. He didn't even know her name.
He'd seen her in the coffee shop since that day. He was there every Thursday, without fail, ordering his same iced coffee with extra espresso. She was always there too, always at the bar at the front of the shop on her laptop, always with her tea and her muffin. He tried not to be creepy. He really did. He always got his coffee to go and tried his best not to stare. She always caught him though. She seemed to know exactly when he glanced her way. Their gaze would meet, her glancing up at him through her eyelashes, and he would always quickly look away, embarrassed at having been caught. Even though he wanted to go over there and plead his case to her, he never approached her. He respected her rejection, as much as he loathed it. Besides, he was above groveling anyway. She should be groveling for a chance to be with him, not the other way around! He was a god! And she… well… Loki chuckled to himself. She apparently was good enough for a god since he couldn't get her out of his fucking mind.
"Wait five minutes before following me. I'll make sure the coast is clear," the nurse instructed him. Loki nodded absently. She smiled at him. He felt the stirrings of pity. She had no idea that she was just a toy, a sex doll he was using because he couldn't have what he really wanted. He wasn't sure if he was fucking her to get the coffee shop girl out of his mind, or as revenge, or to show himself that he really could have anyone he wanted and it didn't matter if one person said no. But it did matter. Because she was the only one he really wanted to fuck anyway.
"So, I'll see you next Thursday?" the nurse asked, her voice high and hopeful.
"Sure" Loki replied with a noncommittal shrug. He really didn't have the energy to fake it today. He was about done with his plaything. She wasn't anywhere near satisfactory, though he doubted anything but the real thing would be. Her smile faltered a little bit at the corners, and Loki almost felt bad for her again, but she was out the door before he could say anything mildly reassuring. It was better that way. Anything he could possibly say would just be another lie. Maybe that was why he was so interested in the coffee shop woman. His interest in her felt like the only thing that was real about him now. His face on Midgard was fake, his face on Asgard was fake, even his rule was fake.
Now that he thought about it, his whole life had been a lie really. His father had lied to him about his upbringing. Thanos had lied to him about ruling earth. Now he was lying again, pretending to be someone he wasn't. If people were going to spend his whole life lying to him, it felt only fair for him to lie back. He had already accepted that no one would miss Loki, no one cared that Loki was gone. Nobody had ever really wanted to know him as he was. He had never belonged anywhere. That was why he had to take his place. If he wasn't ever going to belong on his own, then he just had to make himself belong.
Maybe that was why he was so infatuated with the coffee shop woman. For a small moment, however brief, he didn't have to fake anything. His interest in her was real, the only real thing in his life lately, and that was why his mind was holding on so tightly. He felt a little disconcerted by that knowledge. He shouldn't be tempted by truth and reality. He had everything he needed right now, and he wasn't about to let some mortal infatuation get in his way.
With that thought firmly planted in his head he felt ready to face her again. He wasn't going to stare; he wasn't even going to notice her. He didn't need any reality in his life. He was completely fine pretending as long as he had the power he had always wanted. Maybe if he said that mantra to himself enough times, he would actually believe it.
A quiet knock signaled that the coast was clear, and Loki slipped out of the supply closet. Before he left the nursing home, he poked his head into his father's room to check on him. Odin was sleeping peacefully in bed. His room was clean, and it looked like he was being well cared for. Loki stood there for a moment watching Odin sleep before striding out of the nursing home.
On his way to the coffee shop he tried to keep his mind from wandering. He thought about business on Asgard; meetings he was going to have and problems he needed to solve. Trying to keep everything normal so no one picked up on him was absolutely exhausting. It might be a little easier if he didn't insist on these forays to Midgard every week, but he honestly saw them as a little break. Sure, he was still pretending to be someone else, but at least it was a someone else of his choosing. He didn't have to be as mindful of every word or action.
As he opened the door to the coffee shop the bell tinkled in a familiar way, announcing his presence. Now that he'd been coming every Thursday for over a month, most of the other regulars were familiar faces, and the barista knew and recognized him.
"Hey Larry!" she exclaimed as he walked up to the counter. After their first chilly exchange Loki had made an effort to be more polite to the person making his coffee. He still wasn't what you would call nice, but the barista seemed to have forgiven him.
"I'll have my usual" he said, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket to pay.
"Not necessary" the barista said, shaking her head. Loki looked at her confused. "Here you go." She handed him his iced coffee with extra espresso. "Kat already paid for it."
"Who?" Loki asked, thoroughly confused at this point.
"The larger gal with blue hair. I saw you talking to her a few weeks ago. I thought you knew each other."
Loki thanked the barista and stepped aside so the next customer could come up to the counter. His heart had nearly stopped. She had paid for his coffee. He had thought that she hadn't even noticed him since that day, but apparently, she had. Turning around, he looked for her in her usual seat at the bar. It was empty. His eyes swept over the tables. There she was, sitting alone at a table for two in the back corner. Interesting. Was she waiting for him?
Looking calmer and more casual than he felt, Loki strode up to her table.
"It seems you've paid for my coffee" he drawled, causing her to look up from her laptop screen with a start. She took a second to collect herself. Did she not actually expect him to talk to her?
"I did." A shy smile played at the corner of her mouth. "I think I was a bit rude the last time we spoke, and I wanted to apologize."
Loki sat in the chair across from her, setting his coffee down on the table. She had her laptop, tea, and muffin, like she did every week.
"No apology necessary." He took a swig from his cup. "I was a stranger; you didn't owe me anything."
"But I didn't need to be rude." She winced at the memory of her past behavior.
"You weren't rude," he assured her, "just firm. I promise I'm not upset." The lie left his lips as smooth as silk. He wanted it to be true, but it was just that: a lie. She quirked her left eyebrow up, clearly not believing him.
"If you weren't upset then why have I caught you staring at me the last several weeks?"
"Clearly you're the most beautiful creature here." He flashed her a dazzling grin. She rolled her eyes, but he noticed a slight blush creep into her cheeks. "Also, I wasn't staring."
"Really?" she asked, playful sarcasm dripping from her voice.
"Yes, really" he said, taking another sip from his cup. She was just as interesting as he remembered. Slightly less guarded, but not quite as seductive as the first time they met. She was showing him another side of her yet again.
"Does that happen often?" he asked, eager to keep the conversation going.
"What do you mean?" She took a sip of her tea.
"People making rude comments."
"More than I'd like to talk about." Her soft, thin lips tugged down into a frown. "People see a fat person out existing and think that I'm their business. I've just gotten used to it."
"Honestly? You're not even that large. I don't see why they would have a problem." Another swig from his cup. She laughed at that.
"Maybe not as large as some, but certainly large enough to attract attention. And not the good kind."
"So, my attention isn't good?" he asked flirtatiously.
"It depends" her eyes flashed with a hurt and vulnerability he hadn't seen in her before. "I've had a lot of people interested in me for the wrong reasons."
"And what, pray tell, are the wrong reasons?"
"Because they think I'm easy. Because they think I'll lap up any scrap of attention they throw my way. Because I'm convenient and available. Because they didn't want to be alone and I was better than nothing." While she was listing her reasons, her arms had crossed over her chest as if to shield herself. At the end she paused before shrugging her shoulders. "Stuff like that."
"Well, I can promise you I only have the best of intentions." Another lie, however, this one didn't feel like a lie. That unsettled him. He couldn't possibly have a relationship with a Midgardian. Any dalliance between them could only go so far. He would just have to do his best to make sure whatever happened between them ended on a good note. She had been hurt enough by others.
She fixed him with a look of playful skepticism. "Somehow I doubt you have pure intentions."
"I never said my intentions were pure." He let a small bit of the lust he felt for her seep into his gaze. He took a sip from his cup, careful to never break eye contact. Her eyes flickered to his throat as he swallowed, and he caught a slight hitch in her breathing. He set the cup down gently.
"Oh, I see" she nearly purred. It had taken her only a second to collect herself. She leaned forward in her seat, resting her arms on the table. She had switched faces again, this time bringing back the playful vixen from their first meeting. "And is that all you want with me?"
"Absolutely not" Loki replied. "I love the chase."
"And what will you do once you've caught me?"
"For now, I'll leave that to the imagination." Thinking about what would happen once he got her alone and willing caused a stirring in his pants. They were definitely not thoughts to be shared in a public place. Better to leave her imagining it.
"Well, I'm definitely not going to make it easy for you."
"Oh, I'm counting on it." He flashed her another dazzling grin. This time she smiled back. Loki took the last sip from his cup and shook back the cuff of his blazer, checking his watch. "Unfortunately, darling, I have to be on my way. Does this change of heart mean I can take you to dinner next week?"
"No" she said, smirking at the look of surprise that darted across his face, "but you can buy my tea. Earl gray. Hot. Then we'll see about dinner. I told you, I won't make it easy."
"I wouldn't have it any other way." With one last smile at her, he stood. "I'll see you next week, Kitten" Her eyebrows raised at the nickname, but he liked it. It certainly fit. Soft and cuddly, but with claws waiting under the surface. He tossed his cup in the trash as he left the shop, feeling her eyes on his back the entire time.