Bucky

Was it eavesdropping if you happen to hear what's being said due to having really good hearing? Bucky would like to think not, as he stood outside of the screen door and overheard Sarah on the phone. He heard mentions of a blind date, and didn't miss the tone of exasperation in her voice. He also didn't miss the tinge of an emotion he hadn't expected to feel.

He was jealous.

Someone had taken Sarah Wilson on a date. Why hadn't it been him?

The question often came to him throughout the year when he witnessed others at the dock attempt to get Sarah's attention, or let her know they'd found her attractive. In one instance a regular diner bought her flowers, told her she was beautiful and asked her on a date. Bucky overheard the man's confident inquiry. He and Sam watched in curiosity, mid emptying the boat from a day's catch. They both shared a collective sigh of relief when Sarah gave the gentleman her friendliest smile, thanked him and kindly declined.

"I'm so flattered, but I'm not looking right now," she told her admirer. The man nodded, his shoulders slumped, and then left. And they hadn't seen him since and he was no longer a regular at their restuarant.

Bucky wasn't aware Sarah went on a date with anyone after that incident. Although, it wasn't something she had to disclose to him. They were just friends after all, and it wasn't as if he made it explicitly clear he wanted to get to know her in other ways besides as the "friend of Sam who flirts with his sister" kind of way.

It was uncomfortable knowing that he didn't know much about Sarah's day to day, or how she and the boys have been doing since he moved out of the Wilson's family home, and into his own. Parts of their day that would be shared through the dinner table amongst Sam and the boys, had become a ritual that he realized he missed. It had become a comfortable situation, where they'd exchange stories and the boys would share their adventures. If he still lived with them still, Sarah would likely have shared with him the story of her blind date; perhaps, they'd laugh it off and spend the night sitting on the poarch in comfortable silence. That was how they were. Have things changed now?

Bucky wondered why hadn't he made a move to ask Sarah out several months ago? He knew back then that he wanted to get to know her more than friends. He respected her strength, courage, and grace. He loved a woman who was strong willed, and whose heart was big enough not just for her boys but for the community, and people like himself who were still trying to find their way.

Bucky had it real bad for Sarah.

She was the woman he dreamt of, enjoyed being around and who made him smile at the sight of her. She was also the first woman he'd met after he decided to work with Sam that had known about his backstory as a brainwashed Winter Soldier, and yet trusted him and gave him faith that he could be a new man, the White Wolf, who deserved just as much happiness and light in his life as anybody else. She made him feel seen. She made him want the normal life of being loved, having a family, a job and a home—a community—that took him as he was one hundred percent, both the good and bad parts of him. He found hope in Louisiana. He found it with the help of Sam, who was now a close friend, the rambunctious AJ and Cass, and more so in the beautiful woman who stood in front of him, with a welcoming smile as she opened the screen door he had been knocking on.

~.~.~

"Bucky, this is a pleasant surprise!"

It didn't take long for him to feel warmth spread across his chest as he took in the sight of her. She looked as radiant as always, even in her more relaxed outfit. Her skin looked smooth and the sun kissed. Her lips plump and in their reddish purple hue, which many a night he'd had dreamt of kissing him in many ways. Her hair was loose and fell in twisted braids past her shoulders. She looked comfortable, dressed in an oversized shirt and form fitting black shorts that clung to her mid-thigh, exposing her long legs to him.

As he followed her inside her home, he was grateful that Sam tasked him with delivering the piano to Sarah. Sam didn't seem to notice Bucky's eagerness to go, although he was certain Sam wasn't blind at the fact that he jumped at any chance to see his sister. Sam was after all had an uncanny ability to seem to be always present to chastise Bucky for flirting with Sarah more often than he wasn't. Bucky did try not to, for a short time. But how can one deny the charm of Sarah Wilson?

A memory of a drunken conversation with Sam came to mind. "If you and her ever get together," Sam said, his speech slightly slurred, "don't hurt her or I'll make your life a living hell." Would that count as a blessing for him to date his sister? At that time, Bucky thought so.

How many times had he gotten through the scenario of asking Sarah for a date, only to cower? He didn't want to disappoint Sam, he was his friend. At the same time it became clear that for every week or month he didn't make a move to take his friendship with Sarah to another level, he risked one day finding out he had missed his opportunity and that she found someone else. That very thought was something he found unpleasant. So what should he do?

As he was deep in thought, a light touch to his metal arm brings him out from his reverie. Before he could say anything, Sarah urged him to get a cool drink. He watched her intently, and traced the length of her long brown legs, thighs, and up to her waist, as he followed her from behind.

A moment later he found himself close to her once more, as he stood behind her, and reached above her head to grab them glasses for the tea he knew she made especially for him.

"Let me get that for you," he said, his voice low and intentionally close to her ear. He could sense the shift in her body, notice the red flush growing on her smooth skin.

Bucky wasn't blind. He knew his closeness awakened something in her.

He knew all the little ways he could tease her, flirt with her and make her know he was present and his attention was solely on her.

It was a game they played, knowing full well Sam likely wouldn't approve. But did they really care? For all it was, it was flirting and nothing more. Right?

Bucky wasn't happy with that thought.

He wanted more. But would she? Yes, she knew his past, knew about his nightmares that would arrive, although not as often now, and felt safe enough around him that she even allowed him to be close to her kids. They were indeed close, but in a manner that still thread heavily on the friends side of things.

Friends.

But Bucky wanted more, and yet the thought of taking that step meant taking a leap of faith.

Was he ready for that risk?

The risk of being denied and ending up with an awkward relationship with a woman who meant a lot to him as a friend, and as someone he considered even as part of the new family network he's formed with the help of Sam?

He brushed those thoughts away and decided that they were for other times. He wanted to focus on the now, the present. He recalled a saying his therapist in New York City had once told him, "To hope is to take risks. To take risks is to have hope."

~.~.~

"I stopped by to deliver a present from Mr. Langston. I figured I'd drive it here for you," he told Sarah as he sat across from her.

He drank the cold beverage she made for him, the coolness in the hot summer was a refreshing delight. It was her special tea blend she knew he loved. It brought back the memory of a past barbecue, where for once, under Sam's encouragement, he decided to not hide his metal arm in a long sleeve shirt.

"Man, it's so damn hot! Take that shit off and change to this!" Sam had told him that day, as he threw one of his clean short sleeve shirts at next to him on the sofa, that he'd been crashing on for a few weeks.

Bucky recalled grabbing the shirt, confused, staring at it for a moment, as if it was so foreign to him. He gave Sam a questioning look and was about to decline it until Sam spoke again.

"Listen man, there won't be anyone out there who doesn't know who the hell you are or that metal arm of yours that exists. They know you, accept you. So why the hell do you keep hiding it?" Sam looked serious, as he continued on, "We know who you were, and who you are now. You're here. You don't have to hide that anymore, Bucky. Shit! You practically live here at this point!"

It was at that time Bucky had sucked it up and wore the short sleeve shirt. It was also the first time that he felt fully himself, unashamed of himself and the metal arm that once represented his dark past, which was not replaced by a sign of his redemption with the help of Wakanda.

That day Sarah embraced him in a welcoming hug when she saw him. It was the first time he felt her warmth fully through the metal arm, which somehow was programmed to feel sensations. The softness of her in his arms, and the look in her eyes as she pulled away and studied him with a smile would forever be a memory he'd never forget.

"Now that you're here at this barbeque, it's official. You're officially a local and you have to stay," She joked.

"He'd be crazy not to," Sam said as he gave Bucky a pat on the back.

"I was planning on it," he said to them.

"Good," Sarah had said as she grabbed his metal hand and led him towards the crowd of people, with Sam following suit. It didn't take long for her and Sam to make sure he mingled, an easy feat since he knew most of the people already.

It was also the first time he drank the hibiscus mint black tea Sarah made, a concoction she shared with him when he told her he wasn't too much of a fan of drinking, and didn't plan to that day.

"Try it," she urged as she offered him her red Solo cup filled with the beverage.

He tried it and immediately wanted more. The refreshing mint and the slight tartness from the hibiscus flower was a new flavor he enjoyed. He praised her for the drink, finishing off his cup. She refilled his and poured another cup for herself. They then had sat on a nearby picnic table, chatting, sharing stories and watching as Cass and AJ played with the other children around them, and Sam chatted up with the other locals.

That was the day Bucky made his decision to call this place his home. And the beverage reminded him of that day he made sure to take the steps to move closer to his freedom from his past, and become more free as a new man that he was.

The beverage reminded him of that hot summer day. He wanted a chance to have the things that had been taken from him a hundred years ago. And what he wanted was Sarah in his life, and the love and care she gave to those who had her heart.

That was the day his hope grew, and unbeknown to him it was the first step into him taking the risk to live a life that was worth living.

~.~.~

Within the hour, Bucky noticed Sarah studying him intently as he set up the piano in the living room, and enjoyed the laughter they shared and the natural conversation that arose as they cleaned up the old digital piano that was gifted to her.

When he learned the wonderful fact that she played piano, he didn't hesitate to ask for a song. It was another memory he wanted to add in his growing collection of all the things he knew about her and cherished.

And when she found his jokingly and intentionally playing the wrong note amusing, which then led her to sit down in front of the piano to play, he found himself in a nearby armchair watching and studying the motion of her whole being swaying with the music.

Sarah's eyes were closed as the memory of beautiful music filled the room. Her fingers moved through the ivory keys like second nature. It was as if she was singing through the instrument, as he heard her intake of breath during every phrase of the notes, and he felt the mindfulness it brought.

They were both at peace and for a moment Bucky even found himself daydreaming of a time where this could be a normal and common experience. Her playing for him while Cass and AJ ran amok playing about.

He closed his eyes, fully relaxed, only to find them open immediately at the sharp ringing of a cell phone nearby. His eyes met Sarah's and they both looked at the phone.

He was certain they were both disappointed at the interruption.

~.~.~.

As Bucky waited for Sarah in the kitchen area, leaving her privacy to accept her call, he could hear her responses clearly. It sounded like she was speaking to her friend, Charise, who was known to be quite candid and persistent. He didn't know her well, although he heard she was one of Sarah's long-time friends.

"36 Questions that lead to love? Charise, I thought these were icebreaker questions!" Sarah said before giving a hearty laugh, only to be quiet again as Charise spoke on the other line. He heard her say multiple instances of "I will. I promise."

Bucky felt it was safe to assume the questions were for Sarah to complete to help her learn about herself and improve her romantic life. These weren't new to Bucky, as he recalled throughout the years passing through magazine covers and news papers with similar questions for people —typically geared towards women- to complete. They existed in the 50s and it didn't surprise him that they still existed during this era.

A thought came to his mind, as he realized perhaps these 36 questions could be something he could help her with. It could be a great excuse to further spend time with her… perhaps to ask her to dinner once and for all.

~.~.~

When Sarah returned to the kitchen after her phone conversation, he couldn't help but not hide his look of amusement. She looked embarrassed, knew full well she likely spoke quite loud for him to hear her responses, and the very notion of this was something she likely wished wasn't the case.

He gave her a welcoming smile and decided not to say anything.

"Please, tell me you didn't hear any of that conversation," she said to him, only for him to raise an eyebrow in amusement. "Okay," she continued, as she walked towards him, "I'm going to assume you did… but you're just being a gentleman so you won't admit it."

"You think way too highly of me, Sarah." He tells her as he draws the stool next to him for her to sit.

"Okay, what'd you hear?" She asked.

"36 Questions," he said to her, "and how you promised to do them."

That was a good start.

She took a seat on the stool next to Bucky, placed her palm on her cheek and looked at him, and tried to read it for reactions.

"So," Bucky mirrored her posture, his palm pressed to his cheek. He leaned close to her, until their faces were only inches from one another. He loved looking into her eyes.

"When are we answering these questions?" He asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

"We?" He watched as she whispered this, and bit the bottom of her lip in thought.

"Yes." He wanted her. He would love to kiss her; let her know exactly how he felt. And he prayed she understood where he was going; that she didn't try to put a buffer between them and try to deescalate where their exchange would lead to.

"You know, you don't have to help me," she said. "We know each other already, so we might not need them, right?"

There it was. She was offering him a chance to back down. He sees her shift and lean back, creating the start of a void between them. She raised smooth hands up to her hair and gathered them to her left shoulder. This gave him the perfect view of the nape of her neck where he saw the dew of sweat from the hot summer day. He watched the movement of her throat as she gulped.

Was she nervous?

She eyed him carefully as well in that moment of silence; tried once more to continue the space between them. "Also," she said, "It's for single people and for you it's not necessary—"

"I'm single," Bucky interrupted her.

"Oh, Sarah," he thought, "You can't push me away. Not this time."

"Oh," was all she could get out of her lips.

"And I'd like to know if you'd have dinner with me," he finished.

There he said it. It was out there. Months of flirting, months of thoughts of repercussions, of fear or rejection, and fear of risk. It all hung in that very question. And god he hoped she said yes.

"Not just as friends?"

He knew she was making sure. And he wanted to assure exactly what her intention was, so he reached for her hand, feeling the electricity of warmth and attraction as she allowed him to touch her. He enveloped her small hand in his, a light and gentle touch; his gaze set on hers.

Oh, Sarah Wilson, I'm not asking you as a friend.

"No. Not as friends," he told her as he began to caress her hand.

A breathy "Oh…" came from Sarah's lips, a sign she realized exactly what he was trying to tell her. Before she took a deep breath to steady herself.

They found themselves simply sitting their holding hands, their fingers intertwined. It was also a way to anchor themselves in this new change and journey they were both signing on to.

"This Friday at 7?" he asked.

"Make it 8," she tells him, "and you take us to your favorite spot you've found on your own since moving here." It was clear she wanted them to be in new territory; a new experience and he already knew where he'd take her.

"I'll pick you up at 8 PM."

They smiled at one another, and sat for a moment in the comfortable silence. For both of them this was the leap of faith.

~.~.~.

"So how'd she take it?" Sam asked Bucky when he returned to the dock. Bucky watched as he exited the boat and joined him on the boardwalk, and sat on the large crates in front of the boat, overlooking the boat and the beautiful waters that late afternoon.

"She loved the piano," he responded. "I had no idea she played."

"Yeah, she's been playing since she was eight. Great at it too; use to play at the churches mostly when our parents were around. Helped our Mr. Langston too, with some piano teaching, before The Blip. Glad she can get that part of her back."

"She still plays beautifully."

"Ah, so that's what took so long!" Sam said, "I had to spend the rest of the shift with Tom over there." They both averted their gaze at the tall and lanky younger man still on the boat, wrapping up the netting's. "He's good, but chatters too much."

"I thought you liked talkers." Bucky recalled Sam on multiple occasions telling him he needed to talk more vs. staring or providing one word answers.

"Well, sometimes silence is nice out in the waters. His voice probably scared half the fish!"

They shared a hearty laugh at that. Sam grabbed a cold water bottle and handed one to Bucky before he got one for himself.

"It was nice seeing Sarah," Bucky started, deciding how to best approach the fact he has to tell him.

"Uh-huh," Sam said as he gave him a suspicious look. Sam frowned slightly as he noticed Bucky's growing smile and a glint in his eyes.

"Oh no..." Sam already knew. "You flirted with my sister, and finally asked her out, didn't you?"

Bucky scratched the back of his head shyly, "Yes."

"Bucky, man… I told you… no flirting with my sister."

"Well, she said 'yes'."

Sam shook his head in disbelief and his frown turned to a look of amusement. Bucky watched as his close friend started to laugh as he shook his head.

"It's all good, man. Holy trinity! I think that took a lot longer than I had expected!"

Bucky gave him a questioning look.

Sam patted his friend in the back. "I was wondering how many more months of blatant highschool-level flirting —really awkward ones by the way; regretted witnessing a lot of them—you two were going to do until you just went out with each other."

"You're okay with this?"

"Do I look like her dad, man?" Sam joked. "You know Sarah. When she wants something she's stubborn about it. You think I have control over her like that?"

Sam laughed again and took a swig of his water.

"Hey, it's both your business," he says. He paused and put a firm hand on Bucky's shoulder, "Just treat my baby sis right, and don't hurt her or your hundred year old ass is going to be at the bottom of a bayou."

"Thanks."

Bucky grinned as Sam lifted his water to cheers.

"Wouldn't it be funny if you end up being my brother-in-law?" Sam thought out loud as he took another drink and shook his head in amusement.

Would it be such an impossibility?

TBD