I hope you're still waiting. I'll try not to keep on with publishing a chapter every two Saturdays. I've already rewritten up to chapter 6, so I may succeed.

Thanks for all the reviews, follow-s and favorite-s! You made me very, very happy!

Happy Easter! (for those who celebrate Easter tomorrow. I've already finished the preparations for the feast.)

We're going round

"Thank you, Finna." He said as he entered the room. It was very early, but Finna didn't sleep either. It hadn't been an easy night. Morgana's army - what was left of it - had kept patrolling around. Though, they hadn't dared to enter the tower.

At first, Merlin didn't know what to do or say. He'd spent the rest of the day thinking about what Finna had told him about Camlan and Mordred as well as what he was supposed to do with Morgana. He felt that once he'd found an answer for one of those questions he would be able to solve everything. Yet he couldn't find the strength to make a decision and stake to it.

His dreams had been plagued by images of his past decisions and future mistakes. He knew for certain that not doing something meant to let his nightmares come to pass. Doing the wrong thing would get him there, too.

He sat close to Morgana and watched her. She was still asleep, but her features were still tense. Whatever was in her mind, he could read a lot of pain on her face.

"It wasn't easy," Fina admitted. "Her magic is strong and I had to cast some spells to keep her asleep." She added as she noticed his attention was directed towards the form beside him. He didn't turn to Finna. Instead, he kept staring at Morgana's sleepy features. Despite everything she had been through she was still beautiful…not that it mattered at that moment.

"I don't know how long it would last," he said referring to the spell he was about to cast upon the witch. "I've done that before, but I don't know how long it will take for her to recover her powers. But I know it has made Sarrum's work much easier. '' As Finna didn't say a word he continued "After I had taken her powers she was caught by Sarrum, one of the cruelest men that could possibly exist. She had been his prisoner for over two years."

For a moment it was a deep silence. Merlin focused on the straw figurine he was about to plant next to Morgana. It took him a while as he was clumsier than usual. Then Finna decided to change the topic. "Will it affect me?" She asked referring to the burning figurine.

"I think you shouldn't spend the night here." He replayed. He did not feel like talking. There was so much on his mind. "I will come back and replace it as soon as I can. We will have to replace it frequently until we find a way to make it permanent." He had been about the go when he remembered that he had brought something for her. "I've brought you food. It's not much but…"

"Thank you, My Lord." He put a smile on his face and then his face brightened instantly as an idea crossed his mind. He bent and took the necklace around Morgana's neck.

"If I were to find a way to enchant it, I will be able to take her powers away for good, at least as long she wears it." he turned only to find such flabbergasted eyes watching him. "It's strange," he started. Words did not come easily. "Well, I don't know what to do. Killing her is…well, the easiest way…at least it seems easy. It might put an end to all bloodshed and hatred, but I doubt it. I thought it had ended long ago…when I killed Nimueh, but it was only the beginning." He raised his eyes so he could see Finna's reaction. "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it will end it. I must consider it."."

He couldn't go on and Finna didn't want to bother him with her questions. She felt that there was more than it could reach the eye, but still, she couldn't understand why he was willing to show mercy to someone as cruel as Morgana. Merlin guessed her though and answered after a while.

"She wasn't always like that. She was kind and sweet. She used to be my friend. I knew about her powers. I tried to help her, but I didn't do the only thing I could have done: tell her she is not alone. Eventually, she found support somewhere else…she relayed on the wrong person."

"It must have been hard on you. Now I see why. You shouldn't blame yourself, though. Everybody has a choice to make, she made her own and it was nothing you could have done to change it. Imagine what would have happened should she knew about your powers…"

"Even though…" he cut her "I can't kill her and if that makes me weak then, alright, I'm weak. I can't either set her free, I have other friends to protect. I wish I knew what to do. I don't want her to suffer anymore. If I'll have to kill her, I want it to be as less painful as possible. She has had enough till now…"

"You have a good heart" She exclaimed, but she was shocked by his harsh tone.

"No, Finna. There is darkness and hatred there and sometimes I do not even recognize myself" Then he lowered his voice "Please, give me some time. There are so many things that I need to figure out. However...What I know for certain is that death is permanent." Merlin didn't wait for her answer. He fled before Finna was able to say a word. Next to her, Morgana was sleeping quietly. She seemed to have finally relaxed. She was still a kid deep down….

As he listened to Gaius, Merlin felt his heart heavy. He watched the necklace while his mind was hunted by fears and doubts. If only he knew what to do…..

He hadn't mustered the courage to tell Gaius about his plan. He was certain Gaius wouldn't agree.

Another thought started to form in his mind, turning things even more complicated.

"What if trying to kill them is exactly what will cause this end? What if I fail and Mordred will try to get revenge because he will feel that I've betrayed him? I've tried to change the future before. What I've got!... The results were horrible. It's my fault Morgana found about being Uther's daughter." The warlock started to question his own power of changing the future.

"I'm not hungry," he declared as he felt Gaius' glance on him. Merlin had been toying with his food for minutes. "Sorry. It's just…."

"I guess what might cross your mind, Merlin. You have a heavy burden on your shoulders, but you also have the power to carry it with dignity. But, Merlin, do not forget you are not alone. We might not share your strength or your great power, but if you need someone to help you ease your mind, you can trust me. And Merlin, do not forget to live. Whatever is to come is in the future. Do not let an uncertain future ruin the joy of the present." Gaius spoke wisely.

He'd always helped him with his kind words. A part of Merlin felt guilty for hiding things from Gaius, but wise and experienced Gaius was, he couldn't see the things the way Merlin did. More doubts were the last thing the warlock needed at the moment.

"I will remember, Gaius. Thank you."

"Merlin" he called as Merlin was about to leave, "you still have Arthur and Gwen, and the knights."

"But for how long? I can't lose them, too."

"Merlinnnn" Arthur called him for the umpteenth time. Merlin was so caught in his thoughts that he'd kept mopping the same spot on the floor for what looked like hours. What annoyed Arthur was that Merlin was too quiet. At first, Arthur had kept rambling about different things. Merlin didn't pay attention to him, but it took a while for the king to stop and acknowledged that Merlin hadn't heard a word he'd said.

It had been a strange morning. After returning from the tower and after that conversation with Gaius, Merlin had bumped into the knights, had taken an empty plate, had entered the wrong chambers, and had broken the curtains while dragging them to let the sun inside the room.

"What do you want, Your Highness?" Merlin answered a bit too harshly. If only he would leave him for a while. He cared for Arthur a lot, but he would give everything for a day of peace.

Arthur watched him flabbergasted.

"Sometimes, I feel you don't know who I am," Arthur spoke. "You've never been that clumsy and grumpy. You've done the same spot for hours while the rest of the floor is still dirty. You haven't brought me the food. You have to poli..."

"To polish your armor. Mock your stables. I know. I know. I'll bring your food." Merlin used that excuse to run away before Arthur threw another remark about Merlin spending his time in the tavern and sleeping during his day.

Merlin felt guilty for being that mean. It wasn't Arthur's fault, after all.

"Chasing away your friends won't fix your problems, Merlin" He reminded himself. "Maybe, I don't have to work it out alone. Who can help me, though?"

I'm waiting to read your reviews between some eggs, stuffed mushrooms, and Pasca. Pasca is a cake with cheese. Don't ask for the recipe because I bought it. Time year time wasn't very kind to me and nor my oven, so I've had to improvise. Next year, I will do it myself.