Just when you thought it was complete...
I am trying to write this in American english to fit with the spelling of 'armorer', but wow its hard so if i slipped I'm sorry
"The question is Mandalore , will it remain so?"
her words tore at him, he could have everything, keep everything. Everything except his Adika...
They may call him Mandalore, but could he really change the way. Could he ever be the leader they needed?
you will fail his inner voice chided.
She placed her gloved hand on his arm slowly tilting her head down to him as she moved to one knee. "By tradition, by right of combat you will lead our people, and we will follow your will, "
He still was unsure but perhaps things were not as set in stone as he once thought. But everything was new and that scared him. Fear could lead down many paths.
He found himself shaking, struggling to stay still, yet his words frozen in silence. He could not change things, traditions had to be maintained...
With an equally silent nod, she stood and took a few paces back.
He watched her hands move to her own helm "I forged this buy'ce to be a symbol of our last true Mandalore, to honor his heritage" she ran gloved fingers over the horns "Perhaps it will change in time to honor our new."
Though she had only been pointing features on her helmet the action of her hands resting so close to it gripped him with fear. As if touch could knock it.
His voice was unsteady under modulation his throat dry and the ever-present pain clear "Tell me what to do.." he was as a child, unsure how to act, he needed to be told, even if he did not deserve her words "I cannot be the leader for our people, they will not accept me, I am still dar'manda"
"As Mandalore your past actions are no longer our concern, only how you will make a name for yourself"
He shook his head trying to calm his anger.
"They will not respect me! How can I lead? I have broken our creed, change or not the creed cannot be modified to forgive my wrongdoings" the shame in his voice clear, he wanted to run, to leave this place and never return. Any leader who changed laws to help themselves would never be respected. "This is the Way".
He had to admit that changing the creed would make things easier, he could keep everything, carry on as he had done in the past. He could be forgiven... an errant thought would pass his mind, 'perhaps within the family, between buir and their ade'. But those kinds of thoughts were wrong, childish, dangerous.
Shame, Guilt, Failure
No, what he had done had been a mistake, he should have been able to show his deep care for his child without his face. But it wasn't enough. His affection for Grogu was not as clear to the child as it should have been.
No wonder his Adika chose to go to the Jedi, he had all but made it clear he was unwanted, trying to push him on the first Jedi they had met not stopping to think if this was what the kid had wanted.
She watched him, observing the way his shoulders had tensed, the way he was shrinking into his armor. It was unnerving how her gaze fell on him now.
The armorer made a modulated hum breaking the silence ", This will be Your Way" Slowly he saw her gloved hands grip the sides of her own helm. He knew what she was doing.
No
Panic, She Cannot, NO
"NO!" he had not consciously acted, but the dark saber hummed to life in his hand, nonetheless.
However, it had happened Din was grateful as she stopped her actions before she could lift her helm more than a few millimeters. Her face never revealed.
"Why?" it was all he could find the words to say as he gripped the ignited blade tighter.
"That is not the right question you should be asking Mandalore."
He did not understand, still in a daze over what she had just done. What she had tried to do.
"The right question Mandalore is why did you stop me?" she tilted her helmet slightly "I have explained that the decision to never show our faces to one another was done to mask who was an outsider, to make us all equal, all the same a shared identity. "
"Why did I stop you? Kriff Why did I stop you!" his voice rising with each word "You were about to throw away everything, and for what?" not for him, surely not for him. He was not worth it, Mandalore or not.
"We will follow you no matter your past, I was willing to reveal myself as a show of loyalty, you have become our Mandalore, and Mandalore cannot be dar'manda, the name what it stands for is the embodiment of our people, if your way is to show your face to your clan, then this is the way"
It was not just in front of his clan he thought grimly.
-You did what you had to do. I never saw your face- the words echoed in his mind
That was different foundlings were the future, his actions were justified… or so he told himself. No living person saw his face, at least he made sure no one was left alive, no one could have survived that explosion… even Mayfeld died on Morak, no living person saw his face. His thoughts were full of lies and mistruths, twisting the creed to fit but never trying to change it. He could convince himself that situation an exception, but what he did on the bridge, that was against everything he knew.
"No," He did not want to see her face, to see any of their faces.
"Is it not time to set our differences aside? Our strength was once in our numbers, under your rule It can be again." He understood what she was implying.
Things could change, the Way could change…
There were those who called themselves Mandalorian who show their face. There was Fett, a man who had shown honor, whose father had been a foundling, by virtue he was Mando'a even if he never took the creed but… He saw the logic in her words, but he could not shake the feeling of despair, that something was wrong.
All were Mando'a but they were not Mandalorian, not really.
"That is not the Way, That is not My way" he took a step forward the ignited blade pointed in her helmet's direction.
"One day it could be"
-letting appearance and race cloud judgment they had rejected the way of Mandalore, had lost what it meant to be Mandalorian, and by tradition they became dar'manda.-
Her own words taunted in his head.
Hypocrite
He stood like this in silence for a long moment the hum of the saber the only sound, his grip tightening as he moved ever closer to her, the blade only a short distance for her helm. Still in an attacking stance.
"Mandalore?" for the first time Din heard unease in her voice.
"You do not decide my way" his voice full of anger. She had had once been his Alor, but no longer. she no longer could give him orders, no longer decide his ways
"I will be Mandalore, as tradition dictates, I will lead our people." 'Our' people, the tribe, if any chose to swear to the creed, he would lead them as well.
"Our secrecy is our survival, never forget that." One day things may change, for the better or the worse, but today the creed is protected, and the ways of old continue.