It had been so long since Anna had down time to play and have fun. Ever since being Queen she's had so much work. Either attending meetings or sitting at her desk signing papers and reading. Every now and then Kristoff was able to steal her away. They would go for rides in the woods or down to the water line and fish. They'd bring Olaf along and Sven of course. She would lose track of time and everything at the castle would be put on hold. Her advisor was constantly annoying her about taking things seriously. She was! What's wrong with having some time off. An hour! She didn't know how Elsa did it.
Elsa amazed her by the fact she handled Queen duties and still had family time. On many occasions Anna would attend meetings with her but she got so bored! Either she fell asleep or she couldn't sit still and she would ask to be excused. Never did she think she'd be the Queen.
Anna held Elsa's hand, lacing their fingers as they walked. She needed to do something. Anything! She wanted to feel normal right now. The anxiety of the dire situation around them was almost too much. Thankful Elsa returned because now she could have a sense of normal. Even if she did get snappy a few times.
"I'm sorry." Anna suddenly stopped causing her to tug on Elsa's arm.
"Why?" Elsa looked at her confused.
"I didn't mean to be rude back there." Anna frowned. "Or raise my voice at you. Everything is just so hard right now and-."
"Shh." Elsa placed her finger against Anna's lips. "Don't apologize." They shared a smile. "Now come on."
Anna smiled and headed down the hall with Elsa. They picked up the pace and laughed softly. Anna always loved to race up and down these halls. Elsa held her hand tightly and suddenly stopped in front of the grand hall. Their hearts pounding a little due to the fast pace. Reaching out she took the door handle and pushed the door open.
"The hall?" Anna stepped inside. The candles were all lit around the giant open room. The little tiny fires danced around them. "Why here?"
"Well..." Elsa shut the door behind them and stepped forward. "I was thinking of your happy place."
"Happy place?" Anna looked over at her.
Elsa took Anna's hands and walked backwards till they were in the middle of the room. Her touch was cool against her skin. Anna kept her eyes fixed on hers and she saw a hint of mischief. Elsa has that look in her eye. Ever since they were little. Even more so now they were older. It was funny considering she was the oh so innocent one. Anna loved that look. Elsa looked into her eyes and squeezed her hands.
"I want you to let go." Elsa said firmly.
"Of what?" Anna looked up at her.
"Everything." Elsa smiled softly. "All the stress. All the weight. Being Queen. Being engaged. Responsibility..."
"It's so hard." Anna said softly. "I try so hard."
"That's the problem." Elsa reached up and removed the crown from Anna's head. Though small it weighed in her hands. "You pressure yourself. This is weighing you down." Elsa held out her palm and little strands of icy magic left her hand. Wrapping around the crown the ice levitated it over to the table and it sat it gently on the surface. "Close your eyes."
Anna held a small smile, she hadn't seen the magic in awhile. She gave her a curious look but closed her eyes. She felt Elsa's hands lace with hers again. She could feel the welcoming coldness as Elsa stood in her personal space. Her heart was pounding. She tried to relax. Taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly.
"I don't want you to think." Elsa said softly and Anna felt her lean into her. Their noses just inches apart. Anna's pulse quickened. "I want you to feel."
Anna could feel Elsa's breath on her chin. She could feel her touch that were so soft. She felt her thumbs massage the palms of her hands. She felt the older girl still inside her personal bubble.
"Feel what?" Anna asked softly.
"Your memories." Elsa watched Anna keep her eyes closed. She looked like she was really trying to focus. "The fun. The laughter. The magic."
Anna couldn't help but smile at Elsa's sweet tone. Elsa smirked and tapped her foot on the ground. Ice shot from under her foot and the floor soon became covered. Anna felt it form under her shoes and her grip on Elsa tightened. She kept her eyes closed and focused on her sense of touch. The room got slightly cooler due to the icy floor. Anna's expression wasn't so forced. Elsa glanced up to the ceiling. A light snow started to fall around them.
Anna felt the large snowflakes land on her face. It was a sensational feeling. She could feel Elsa's magic all around them. Gosh how could she forget. She loved watching Elsa do her magic. She loved being in its presence. It filled her heart with such joy every single time. All the fun they had... it came back.
"Elsa.." Anna said softly. "I can feel it.."
"What do you feel?" Elsa smiled.
"Well," Anna opened her eyes and peered around them. The light snow was so beautiful. All the anxiety she felt was washed away. "No pressure!"
"Good!" Elsa laughed.
"You and the magic.." Anna smiled and pressed their foreheads together. "Are my happy place."
"And you are mine." Elsa smiled sweetly. "Now let's have some fun!"
"I'm down!" Anna laughed.
For the next hour it was like they were children again. Soon the grand hall was filled with laughter and love. The snow still fell. The candle light danced beautifully on the snow and ice. Snowy hills big and small scattered across the room. They played in the snow just like they use to. Snowball fights that led to Anna being covered to her waist in snow. Perhaps Elsa won that one. They fell backwards and made snow angels. Their hearts bursting with warmth as they held hands and laughed together.
The time spent in the snowy room was the best Anna has felt in a very long time. She was just Anna. Not Queen. They sat in the snow that was actually not too cold. The room was warm so the cool of the snow felt good. Sitting hand in hand Anna giggled watching the little snow penguins marching around the room. They we're so cute!
"Elsa thank you." Anna looked over at her. "I haven't felt this in a long time."
"Dont thank me." Elsa smiled softly. Anna looked so beautiful with the snow in her hair. Her big eyes gazing into hers. "Anything and everything is worth it to see you smile."
Anna put her arms around Elsa's neck and hugged her. They stayed in the embrace for some time. The snow penguins making their little noises as they roamed around looking for ice rocks. The snow continues to fall over them. Anna forgot just how much fun they use to have. What it felt like. Everything with Elsa was magical.
"Woohoo!" They pulled apart and looked over their shoulder. "Hey you guys!"
"Olaf!" Anna laughed watching the little snowman sled down the giant snow hill that covered the doors. "Join us!"
"Elsa! Anna!" Olaf came bouncing over to them. "It's snowing!" He giggled and started catching snowflakes with his nose. "I miss snow. I miss winter! I wish you were here all the time Elsa!"
"Well me too." She smiled
"With you here it can snow like this all the time!" Olaf grinned. "Our own Snow Fortress!"
"He's right you know." Anna looked over at Elsa. "Will you ever come back? Permanent?"
"Um." Elsa was watching Olaf chase snow penguins. "I don't know.."
"What do you mean?" Anna felt hurt.
"I mean, I don't want to impose."
"Elsa this is your home. You can't impose on your home!" Anna looked at her. "If you're talking about Kristoff forget it. Look how that worked out!"
"I know. I'm sorry." Elsa squeezed her hand. "I won't lie it is kind of lonely in the North."
"It's lonely here." Anna looked at her. "I can be in a room full of people but if you're not there... it might as well be empty."
"Elsa stay." Olaf came back carrying a penguin that was nipping at his nose. "We need you."
"Well I'm going to be here for awhile anyways." Elsa looked between them. "I'm not leaving tomorrow!" Anna and Olaf gave her hopeful smiles. "I'll stay as long as you two need me."
"Forever!" Olaf threw the penguin and gave Elsa a hug.
Elsa found herself in a group hug with both halves of her heart. She smiled softly and enjoyed being in their company. Being with Anna and Olaf in the snow. That was the life! This is what she missed. They found each other again. They always found a way to come back together. To be honest Elsa wanted to come back home. She was having her adventures and time away but it wasn't right without Anna.
Another half an hour they played with Olaf. They giggled when he was showing them his impersonation of Marshmallow. Throwing snowballs acting all tough. Accidentally hitting Elsa in the head with one. Soon after the room thawed and soaked up all the water and cold. Everything went back to normal. Anna and Elsa left the room hand in hand Olaf skipping ahead of them wearing Anna's crown.
"My Queen!" Came a loud voice behind them. "I need to speak with you."
"Oh, okay Blake." Anna let go of Elsa's hand.
"I'll see you at dinner." Elsa smiled and allowed Anna to go. "Olaf." Elsa approached the little snowman. "King Olaf."
"Ooooooo." He stopped and looked up at her. "I like that! I like that a lot!"
"Come on." She smiled. "We're gonna go visit someone." The snowman took her hand and they headed on their way.
——
"Ow!" Kristoff rubbed the top of his head. "Will you hold still Sven." He was cleaning the reindeer's hooves. They were full of mud and straw. "Just hold still."
Sven gave a huff and allowed Kristoff to hold his leg up and clean the gunk out of his hoof. It was like someone cleaning their fingernails. He brought the tool up and dug out clumps of mud. He slept in the barn last night in the straw and to be honest it was the best sleep he's had in a long time. He loved sleeping out in the barn with the animals. It was a lot warmer than someone would think. He set Sven's leg down and moved to the other one. Just as he was picking up his foot he felt a breeze. An out of place cold creep inside. There was a knock and he turned his head.
"Hi Kristoff." Elsa stood in the doorway with a kind smile.
"Elsa." He dropped Sven and set his tools down. "You're back!" He gave her a big smile and went towards her. "It's great to see you!" He went to put his arms around her but stopped. "I would hug you but I'm filthy."
"It's okay." She smiled up at him and brought her hand up to pat his chest. "It's great to see you."
"It's always an honor to see you too." Kristoff smiled down at her.
"SVEN!" Olaf rushed past them towards the reindeer. "Hiiiii!"
"I'm guessing you just got back." Kristoff said looking at her. "How are you?"
"I'm just fine." She looked at him. "Are you okay?"
"No." He let out a sigh and turned to go back to Sven. Watching Olaf feed him a carrot. He eyed the crown on his head. "Are you stealing again?"
"No! Anna let him wear it and I guess forgot." Elsa laughed. "He's King Olaf now."
"YEA!" Olaf stood strong and pushed his chest out. As much as a snowman can anyways. "King Olaf! Ice King."
"Elsa must be your Ice Queen." Kristoff chuckled.
"Yes!" Olaf looked at her. "She makes the snow and I rule it."
They laughed. Kristoff went back to cleaning Sven's hooves. Elsa could feel his depression. He looked sad and even though he was a tough big man he wore his heart on his sleeve. His emotions usually showed.
"I'm guessing Anna told you about the wedding." He asked in a bitter tone. "And about last night."
"She did... but Anna is just one side of the story." Elsa looked at him. "You have a side too that's just as important."
"You'll only take her side." He shrugged. "You're sisters. It's how it works."
"Hey if I didn't want to listen to your side or CARE about it I wouldn't be here." She said in a hurt tone. "I came here because I worry about you."
"I'm sorry." Kristoff looked up at her. "This whole thing is just frustrating."
"What happened?" Elsa moved closer and pet Sven on the nose.
"I don't know. I thought we were okay. I love your sister you know that. I just feel... and it's not the Queen thing. This has been going on since before." Kristoff looked at her. "Anytime I kiss her she's so fast to break it. Hugs. She loves hugs! But if I kiss her it's like she's scared or doesn't want it." He felt embarrassed. "It's humiliating."
"You think she's holding back?" Elsa asked curiously. "Kristoff you're the first relationship she's ever had! Hans doesn't count. You are the first man she's ever been with. First person! She might be shy or just nervous."
"I don't know." He dropped Sven's foot. "It's not just that. It's not the physical stuff. I told her there will never ever be pressure. Ever. But the emotional stuff. I... she's holding back from me. There's always been this feeling with Anna that... I can focus everything on her but she can't do that with me. It's like she's thinking of someone else."
"Someone else?" Elsa shook her head. "No. There isn't anyone else. You know that."
"I'm not saying she's being unfaithful." He frowned. "But in her heart theres someone else. This person probably doesn't know it. Hell she probably doesn't realize it." He looked over at her. "I proposed to Anna because I love her. I wanted to see if this could work out and... it's not. Now? So much happening. And she's QUEEN! Hell I don't think I can live that way."
"Have you told her this?"
"I've commented on it. She knows I'm not high maintenance. I can't be inside a castle and dress all fancy." He chuckled. "But I tried for her and she didn't notice."
"She cares a lot about you." Elsa looked up at him. "Can you two just.. sit down and talk? Tell her what you feel?"
"I have tried. She doesn't want to listen to me." He shook his head. "Elsa I'm not perfect. I am no where close but I have tried so hard to be someone for her. I just don't think I'm the person she wants." He let out a sigh. "I love feisty. I don't know what would happen if she wasn't in my life. She's my best friend... next to Sven."
Elsa glanced over a the reindeer and smiled. Kristoff was such a good man. Even after everything that's been going on he is still showing his love. Elsa never ever questioned his feelings for her sister but maybe she should question Anna's feelings? She felt bad for him. She knew Anna wasn't doing this on purpose. Anna couldn't hurt anyone.
"Well... Kristoff you know what I think?" She moved closer and ran her hand through Sven's coat. "I think you're a good guy. You have shown so much kindness for our family."
"I wouldn't have a nose!" Olaf giggled patting Sven's nose. Kristoff smiled.
"You will forever be my family. And of course the Ice Master." She smiled and Kristoff chuckled softly. "Take a break. You and Sven have some time. Go up the mountain. Go anywhere. Go on an adventure like you guys use to. I think being normal for a few days is a good idea." She smiled and then shifted her eyes. "Take Olaf."
"Wow! Another adventure!" Olaf jumped up and down.
"I can't just leave. What if you guys need me?" Kristoff felt bad if he would just run off.
"We'll be okay." She smiled. "Don't worry about us for awhile." Kristoff smiled and quickly scooped her up in a hug. Elsa wasn't expecting that but she patted him on the back. He did smell like barn.
"I thought you were going to be so mad at me." He said setting her down and pulling away. "Thank you Elsa."
"You're always welcome."
—-
"Thank you." Anna smiled softly at the servant as she pour her glass. Anna was already having dinner. She couldn't wait. Her stomach was talking and she needed to fill it. She wondered where Elsa left to. She looked all over and asked guards and no one saw her. Anna had a hint of worry and curiosity. Olaf was even gone so she knew she didn't go too far. "Where could she be?"
Anna also worried about the illness. She didn't want Elsa to come home and then get sick. Gosh that would be horrible. She wasn't in the castle... she hoped that she didn't go around town. Surely she knew. She was smart.
"Sorry I'm late." Elsa entered the room. "I got caught up."
"Dinner!" Olaf bounced after her. "Wait I don't eat dinner."
"Where did you two come from?" Anna sat up in her chair.
"We went for a-"
"Kristoff and Sven!" Olaf interrupted.
"Walk." Elsa glanced down at Olaf.
"Wait. What?" Anna felt panicked. "You saw Kristoff?"
"Kinda." Elsa moved closer to the table.
"Elsa..." Anna growled.
"Before you get mad and feisty.." Elsa spoke up.
"Yes you definitely went and saw Kristoff!" Anna glared.
"Calm down. It wasn't a bad conversation." Elsa sat down at her place to Anna's left. "He didn't say one bad thing about you."
"What about Sven? Did you ask Sven?" Anna glared. "Kristoff probably told him all kinds of horrible things!"
"Uh.." Elsa shifted her eyes. "Aren't they the same..."
"Elsa I wish you didn't go talk to him." Anna frowned.
"Every story has two sides." Elsa said looking at her. "And hearing his side it made sense."
"Excuse me?!"
"Just stop." Elsa looked at her. "He... He didn't say anything bad about you. He's confused."
"He's always confused." Anna grumbled.
"Do you not like him anymore?" Elsa asked. "Judging by your attitude.."
Anna fell silent and her eyes shifted around the room. Now she was stressed. She felt like Elsa should not of went to see him. She should've warned her first. She wasn't sure what Kristoff was going to tell Elsa. She was concerned and worried about that. She watched Olaf skip around the table, her crown still on his head.
"I'm going to go read before I go on my trip!" He rushed past Anna who reached out and snatched her crown without him noticing.
"Wait where are you going?" Anna asked.
"Kristoff and Sven are going on a camping trip! And I'm going!" He jumped in excitement and skipped out the room.
"And he's going?" Anna looked over at Elsa. "What did you tell him?"
"I listened to him." Elsa said firmly. "And I think you and I need to have a TALK."
Anna knew what this talk would consist of. They fell silent. Anna was scared suddenly. She tried to focus on dinner but it was so hard. She already knew. Mentally she ran things through her mind. Remembering things Kristoff has said to her. She just knew this wasn't going to be a pleasant talk. She also knew she had to prepare for what was going to be said. She was nervous.
The rest of dinner was quiet. They ate their meal. Nothing was said. She could feel Elsa's eyes glance in her direction. She felt so warm all of a sudden. Maybe she would get lucky and get sick. Then she could escape this situation forever. Once dinner was cleared she looked over at Elsa.
"Anna..." Elsa met her gaze. "I want to know if you're okay?" Her voice was concerned. "Really okay? Is there something going on? Is there anything happening that maybe we should know about?"
"Huh?" Anna looked at her. "What are you implying?"
"Like... do you not want to be with Kristoff? Is there someone else?"
"What!?" Anna looked at her stunned. "Elsa! How can you even ask me that?"
"How he talked it sounded like-"
"Oh so now that's what's happening huh? He's telling you I'm out meeting other men?" Anna was hurt. "Oh my god you believe him!"
"Stop!" Elsa looked at her. "I didn't say that. You're assuming." Anna went to speak and Elsa cut her off. "Come on. I will tell you everything. Okay."
—
"That's what he told me." Elsa said from her spot on Anna's bed. She watched her sister pace the room. "Is he right?"
"Maybe..." Anna said frustrated. "I can't... Yeah I am holding back. I'm not.. seeing someone else! The fact he even thinks that! Elsa I haven't even looked at anyone since Kristoff. Who would I even look at!"
"Are you not comfortable with Kristoff?" Elsa asked curiously.
Anna felt a wave of anxiety. Her hands started to hurt and her chest tightened. This wasn't what she wanted to talk about right now. Elsa took it upon herself to see Kristoff and she knew this would be a conversation they'd end up having. She couldn't completely avoid it.
"I'm not... I'm not attracted to him like I thought I was." Anna looked at Elsa. "I can't.. I couldn't be with him... in that... sort of way." Elsa arched an eyebrow. "I haven't even thought about it. If you're with someone for so long you... think of those things and I can't." Anna frowned. "Am I weird?"
"No!" Elsa laughed. "Honey no."
"Kristoff wants kids some day. Dozens!" She felt exhausted saying it. "I can't do that!" Elsa laughed. "I mean I'm all for puppies and baby reindeer! But Dozen kids!?" She looked at her sister. "It's not that I don't love him I do..."
"Well having a dozen kids would scare anyone!" Elsa said. She kept her sweet gaze on Anna. "You don't want kids?" Anna was silent. "You're both so young... you have time to think about that.."
"You can't just force someone to be attracted to them." Anna said looking at Elsa. "All my life I dreamed of a Prince Charming to come and take me away. Find love with a tall strong man." She smiled. "I ended up wasting that dream almost getting both of us killed!"
"But you found Kristoff during that.."
"I know but... after being with him. Being with a man I just... it's not what I thought I wanted." Anna frowned. "He smells. His hands are always so dirty. He doesn't wash but once every two weeks! He chews with his mouth open. He slurps when he drinks. He burps!" Her ranting made Elsa smile. "He scratches himself in public!" She shook her head and laughed a little. "His feet are always so gross. He eats the weirdest stuff. He does that gross nose thing!" She gagged.
"I'm sure it's not-"
"In his hand Elsa!" Anna looked at her. "Blew his nose in his hand!" Elsa gave a disgusted look. "He's.. he's..."
"He's a man." Elsa shrugged but still grossed out.
"Gosh I didn't know they were that filthy! But under all that filth is a beautiful soul and a warm heart.. his good sides outweigh the bad." She got serious. "But... I can't... see myself with... with..."
"A man?" Elsa asked boldly. Watching and reading Anna's expression which turn to stunned to scared to ashamed. Anna fell silent and hung her head. Elsa watched her and chose her words carefully. "You know Anna... Kristoff is the first person you've ever been with. He's your first boyfriend. Kiss. Guy in your life. There's nothing wrong with wanting to... pause and just... experience life. You've been locked up for years. See what it is you... really want?"
"But look what he's done for me. For us."
"That's no reason to force a relationship."
"I don't want to hurt him." Anna said softly. "I don't want to lose him."
"None of us do... but maybe having a talk with him... a real talk. No Olaf. No Sven. No me." She looked at her sister. "Tell him what you're scared of.. you might be surprised by his reaction.."
"I'm scared to tell him what I'm scared of."
"He's a sweetheart. Even if it hurts him to know... let him know how much you do care and love him and tell the truth what you want." Elsa tilted her head a little. "What do you want?"
"Oh Elsa I don't know..." Anna moved towards her and sat next to her. "I can't see myself... being a man's property. I can't see myself having children. I can't..." the thought actually made her shiver. "I just don't see that for me."
"Do you want... a woman?" Elsa asked boldly yet again but was gentle.
"I want love." Anna looked at her with wonder in her eyes. Talking about love always brought a glow to her. "But I don't think I can find that with a man."
Anna's confession didn't totally shock Elsa. Anna was always boyish and she didn't need a tough man to rescue her. She could handle her own. She loved all that stuff. Fighting. Rough housing. Fishing. Swords. Horse races. The outdoor stuff her and papa use to do and now Kristoff and Sven. They would always go out to the woods or go fishing. She was like one of the buddies. She was sloppy. Thank gods for maids who kept her room cleaned. She wasn't always lady like. But Elsa knew she wanted love and if she couldn't find that in a man... Maybe seeing Anna with a woman made the most sense? Elsa blushed a little.
"Elsa?" Anna looked at her. "What are you thinking? You're red." Anna panicked. "Oh no. Oh no. I'm so sorry. I said too much. I'm sorry. I completely grossed you out. I'm so sorry. We won't talk about it. I'm sorry."
"Anna!" Elsa looked at her and grabbed her hand. "No... you didn't. You don't have to be sorry..."
"I always wanted to... tell you and confine in you about this but... I'm scared." Anna looked at her. "I know this isn't something proper and..."
"Anna it's okay." Elsa looked at her. "I'm happy you told me. No matter what it is you feel with your heart, I'll ALWAYS support you and be the first one to defend you."
"I guess you want the crown back?" Anna looked at her. "I'm not having children... I'll never provide a heir." She frowned suddenly feeling like a disappointment but maybe this isn't a bad thing. "I'm letting down my crown.. I can't fill my duties and what's expected of me."
"Anna I don't want the crown." Elsa said firmly.
"What about Arendelle?" She looked at her. "It's up to you to have kids! You can have the heir. Oh they would be cute! You would have cute kids Elsa!" Elsa burst into laughter. "Whats so funny?"
"Well..." Elsa paused. "I don't think having kids is something in my future." Elsa looked at her. "Anna. I understand what you're feeling. I know what you're thinking and going through."
"You do?" Anna looked into those beautiful blue eyes.
"I do." Elsa nodded softly. "Honestly have you seen me swoon over a man?" She laughed softly. "Have you seen me with anyone? Or talking about ANYONE?" She looked at her. "Only person I talk about is you. I don't need a man or a relationship... I don't want one." Elsa looked at her. "All I want is my family." Elsa reached up and cupped her cheek. "All I want is you. Both of us. Running this place. Together."
Anna put her arms around Elsa and held her tightly. Oh my god. She felt weight lift from her shoulders. She was scared to inform her sister that she didn't like men. And Elsa? She doesn't like them either!? That kinda stunned Anna but she was right she's never been with anyone. Elsa never seeked out a relationship. She never ever talked about anyone or any interest in courting someone. Anytime Elsa talked of running Arendelle it was always solo. No King. Anna felt even more connected to her sister. They really were meant to do this together.
"Mama and papa would be soooooo disappointed..." Anna said finally.
"They'd blame you." Elsa hummed softly in amusement.
"Oh god yes!" Anna pulled back. "I'm such a bad influence on you Elsa." The pair laughed together. "But you're so beautiful.. I mean you're gorgeous! You could have any one you want!"
"I don't want them." She said simply, little blush on her face. "I'll take compliments but no ones hand."
"Soooo..." Anna looked at her curiously. "Does this mean you don't want a relationship at all or..." Elsa rolled her eyes and got to her feet. "I'm just asking!" Elsa gave her that come and get me look and drifted out of the room. Anna smiled and felt flush as she jumped up and ran after her. "You can't leave me hanging!"