Hello everyone. This is the next chapter of the 'The Stoppable house'… obviously. Its also the chapter that gave me the idea for such a project. Just throwing this out there, but this will be a three shot. What's below won't have anything saucy in it. That's the next one.

Now, as for the rest of the series they will be their own little off shoots. Usually short stories and possibly one shots. After this chapter is posted I was going to go with Yori but I'm curious as to what you people- the readers- would like me to do. Tell me in pm's or reviews.

Thank you and enjoy.

The stoppable house

Chapter 2- Golden funzone

"Not cottontails or ponytails-"

Ron hummed, turning off the shower. The sidekick grabbed his Hello Kitty towel from his bag and dried himself off before hopping out of the shower. The family bathroom on the first floor was usually the cleanest and warmest in the Stoppable house, if not the second after the kitchen. Not today.

Because today it was the coldest and the messiest.

The friendly neighborhood sidekick and royalty check prince had his travel pack of dirty clothes plopped on the floor in a pile next to his matching Hello Kitty backpack. The square box of a room was as cold as an ice cube because Ron Stoppable set the shower to dang near freezing.

Surprisingly enough, the royalty check prince was used to this. Not because he usually had his showers at the lowest temperature setting, but because for the last week he had been on the other side of the planet at a secret ninja school that didn't believe in things like 'electricity' or 'hot water'. Not even such luxurious commodities as 'private bathrooms'.

At least not while Ron himself was there.

When the sidekick asked his assigned travel buddy and handler Yori about it, the ninja girl said she and her grade were going through a special event for their year's class of shinobi in training. Specifically that everything was 'traditional' with no comfortable convenient commodities from the modern day. Apparently it had been a rite of passage for all modern ninjas since the occupation ended after World War II. Thankfully, it was only supposed to last a week, though the sidekick was told that the longer a student went through with it, the better it looked, and if one made it the full month they got a special reward.

It'd been years since anyone had actually done it, though. So of course it all just happened to start again the very day Ron Stoppable showed up.

Of course, the sidekick was more than happy to be 'ruff'n it' on a frozen mountain not twenty miles from a mega-city like Tokyo, where he would later learn he only occasionally had to deal with the local snow monkeys. Mainly whenever he went for a freezing bath, which sucked, but at least beat having a mad chimpanzee as a roommate. The ninja girl was happy about Ron's 'eagerness' and laughed at his 'American style jokes' as she handed him old school Japanese toiletries. These amounted to an ancient moth-eaten towel that felt like sandpaper, a sheet-like bathrobe, and what the very American sidekick could only describe as some unholy offspring of a cloth diaper and a burlap thong, with a Japanese character written on the front.

You can probably guess which one the millionaire sidekick did not use.

Needless to say, after the first day of what was basically ninja school Hell Week, the royalty check prince was an inch away from calling it quits and hiking it back to the airport, especially after a very quick communal rinse in a crowded frozen mountain water bath. None of which Ron had signed up for...until he remembered that the girls went first. Meaning that his travel buddy Yori had already cleaned up and was waiting for him in the hall when he was done. The sheet-thin white bathrobe was by design not really meant to cover up whoever was wearing it, or even keep them warm, and boy did Ron realize that when he saw Yori. Especially considering the curvy ninja girl was shivering even more than he was.

"D-Ducktales. Woo-hoo!"

The sidekick made himself sing, shaking his head and doing everything he could to not think about how he nodded a thoughtless blank yes at the ninja girl's concerns about his first day, and forcing himself not to look at the two dark 'ninja stars' threatening to poke out of the bathrobe and stab him. Two guesses as to what got harder and harder when the ninja girl made this a part of their everyday routine. Oh, and one guess as to what made the sidekick decide to tough it out for the week instead of sneaking off back to the airport and going home.

"W-Woo-Hoo, I say!" The sidekick coughed out, shaking his head even harder. Then, as if on cue, Ron tripped and fell face first into his pile of dirty clothes. Picking himself up, he could feel the week-old grime and sweat now smeared on him and sighed. "What are the odds I got time for another shower?"

Speak of the she-devil, the royalty check sidekick got a very impatient text.

"Nope. Didn't think so."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Come on. Come on."

Ron grumbled. His towel was snagged on the ladder. The sidekick was not in the mood for this as he stood there halfway off the ground. He was shaking so much from how cold he felt it was like he had a jackhammer tied behind him instead of a cheerleader's backpack. Biting his lip, the sidekick gave the towel one final tug. Only instead of pulling it free, he pulled himself down. The royalty check prince landed on his ass in the middle of his home's second story hallway. The princess purple backpack finished the job, landing right on his face and knocking him fully to the floor. Ron didn't know what was in the bag but some of it was very heavy and very hard, even through the fabric of the backpack.

"Come on." Ron grumbled, pulling the bag off his face. "Sounds about right."

"Ronnie, tell me what you just broke wasn't my stuff!"

"N-No. Nothing's broken." Ron stammered as he jostled the bag next to his ear, hoping he wasn't lying.

"Better not." She hollered, unamused. "Just get up here."

"Yeah, yeah. Keep your pants on." Ron said, hoisting up her backpack as he climbed the ladder buck naked, leaving the towel where it was.

Peeking his head out, Ron eyed his attic. A few months back the resident sidekick was handed a royalties check for a fan-made recipe that he'd somehow gotten a local fast food chain to start selling. That was its own adventure, one that came with the usual costumed crazy and CGI boom-boom you'd expect from someone in the super game getting a lot of money at once.

One of the first things Ron spent his new wealth on was getting a new room in his house and pimping it out. The recently-crowned royalty check prince chose his attic and filled it with what you'd expect: A big ass TV, a couple mini-fridges filled with snacks, video games of all kinds littering the place, La-Z-Boy chairs- it was a man cave, or as a certain purple princess would call it-

"Hey Ken, get in here." A certain voice said from the couch. "Barbie's waiting in your Dream House."

"Oh, this is gonna be classic." The sidekick thought, a wolfish smile on his face as he climbed the stairs as quietly as he could until he was on the last step, and crouched. "Sorry, had to get in my favorite suit."

"Why did you put on a sui- Gahhh!" The sidekick's guest gasped as she turned around and spotted him, her eyes bulging out of her head. "Why are you na-"

"Heeeeer's-" The sidekick really wished he could roll his 'R's as he jumped off the ladder, did a full flip in the air over the couch and landed in front of the TV, a huge smile on his face. "Ronnie!"

"Yeah. Yeah, that sounds about right." Bon stared at him, her face all kinds of bored as she slumped back down into the couch before shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth from the bowl next to her. "Probably should'ah seen this coming."

"Huh, n-nothing fazes you. Does it?" Ron asked, tilting his head at her.

"It might've, if this wasn't totally something you would do." Bonnie tilted her head back at him before looking down and pointing. "Huh, shrinkage is a thing. That is a surprise. I always wondered."

"Gah!" Ron quickly slid off the princess purple backpack and covered himself with it. "S-seriously?"

"Don't rub your junk on my stuff!" Bonnie demanded, all but jumping off the couch and yanking her bag away. Sliding around her, Ron replaced the bag with a couch cushion. Feeling his face heat up like a hot coal, Ron saw the purple princess strut over to his desk and clear off the remains and wrappers of a Burger meal he didn't remember eating getting into the waste bin next to it. "What's wrong with you? Honestly."

"D-Dang girl." Ron chuckled nervously. "Someone's ready to go. Thought you wanted to get a dinner and movie first."

"Really?" Bonnie gave him a look. "Don't even try that. You were never smooth. Even when you finally did find a girl who didn't need a super lobotomy to wanna fuck ya, you were still awkward as hell."

"...Wow." Ron whistled, as the images of a quarter-sized emotion manipulation doohickey and a certain resident redheaded superhero popped into his head. Especially when she smashed into his room, her eyes glowing like red dot sights on a sniper rifle as she quite literally ripped his pants off. "That's uhhh... a little meaner than usual."

"And you jumping dick-first in front of the TV and rubbing it on my backpack like a dog that's going to the vet for the last time is more dumbass than usual." Bonnie made a shooting motion next to her head before she took in a deep breath and sighed. "Sorry. I'm a little pissed off right now."

"Any particular reason?" Ron asked. "Aside from me."

"Remember what I said about me not getting to sneak in here because of your parents never leaving the house?"

"You didn't say they never left the house." Ron raised an eyebrow at that.

"I also didn't get to have fun with Hiro in here." Bonnie folded her arms with a pout and ignored him. "I had this whole thing planned with the hot tub. But nope!"

"S-sounds..." Ron said, remembering the night he regained his fortune from the usual baddies after they stole it. How a certain purple princess of Middleton had talked her way into his home and later his newly christened attic. The sidekick did his best not to think about how she stripped out of her clothes before taking a dip in his fresh-off-the-rack hot tub. It was a losing battle. Her glistening wet skin and how her soaked bra clung to her body were burned into his mind. "Familiar."

"Yeah." Bonnie snorted. "Though I had a bikini in mind instead of going with one of my usual outfits."

"B-bikini. You?" Ron asked, tilting his head back. The sidekick had never seen the cheerleader in one, and every one he usually pictured her in looked better than the last. Anything school related wouldn't allow it during trips near water and she had her own pool at home that she never let him go near. Whenever she used his hot tub she just slipped off her clothes and went in naked. Not that Ron ever complained.

"I never even got to fool around with him and he was assigned to me for the week the guy was here." Bonnie glared at nothing in particular. Ron could hear the cheerleader's gripping the backpack tighter. "My parents wouldn't leave me alone with him. Well, that and your place has newer stuff and I wouldn't have had to clean up."

"You have your own hot tub?"

"It's attached to the pool outside. It's not an indoor gold plated one in the middle of a mancave. Don't interrupt." Bonnie narrowed her eyes at him. "The way he just strutted around in a towel after he showered, or-or those tight shirts he wore. The tease. I was hoping to get a quickie in at the airport when I dropped him off, or at least get him to do something with his tongue. Nope. He was gonna go for it, but then he got a call from his Granddad 'Senny' about his sister 'Yanoi' or whatever. All I got out of it was a 'fuck you' kiss in front of Possible and her other sidekick… Oh, and a dumb box of weird tea along with a flash of his sushi roll before he left. Sucks."

"W-wait, what?"

"I said don't interrupt me. Gah- you never listen." Bonnie looked like she was an inch away from chasing the first living thing she could find and strangling it. Her eye was twitching with rage... then she looked away at nothing in particular again and started to bite her lip. It was the face the royalty check prince had seen on for her years before he gained his money. It was the look she got whenever she didn't get something she really really wanted. The sidekick couldn't help but notice how the purple princess started rubbing her knees together as she mumbled. "F-ucking tease."

"Yeah..." Ron mumbled, remembering his last moments with 'Yanoi'. How she showed him her two dark 'ninja stars'. "Frick'n tease."

"What?" The purple princess's gaze snapped back to the sidekick like a whip.

"N-nothing." Ron said, casually whistling as he hobbled over to one of the mini-fridges before pulling out a tray of ice cubes. The sidekick winced as he slid it between the cushion and his crotch. "G-Gah, Every time. But hey, they're a million miles away right now. What can ya do?"

"Hmmm, yes. They." Bonnie hummed at him with a look Ron had never seen before. The sidekick didn't know what to make of it but he was pretty sure it wasn't anything good. The purple princess snorted at him as she flicked a balled up wrapper off his desk. "Didn't we talk about this? You said you'd keep your room clean."

"I said I wouldn't be a slob. I didn't say anything about being a neat freak." Ron said, walking up to his desk and looking at the small pile of fast food remains. Not one of them was Bueno Nacho. Raising an eyebrow at this, Ron picked up the same crumpled wrapper and recognized the greasy logo. "Wait a minute. I hate Burger Baron. How did this get here?"

"A-Are you honestly asking me?" Bonnie tilted her head at him, a look of disgust and surprise on her face. "Do you really expect me to care about the food-shaped lard and grease you shove down your gullet? Let me tell you, as long as you always have some breath mints on ya, I don't."

"Uh-huh." The kitchen conquering cook nodded, eyeing her. "Soooo, you're saying I should make vegan food for you, then?"

"N-NO." The purple princess stuttered, keeping the disgust but swapping out the surprise for fear. "Don't even joke about that. Vegan!"

"Didn't think so." The sidekick smiled as the purple princess looked like she was holding back vomit, before he frowned. The itching feeling that something was wrong crept up his neck. "There a reason you didn't use the hot tub? Its usually your go-to when we come up here."

"Oh, it had something to do with that."

Bonnie gave the sidekick a lopsided smile as she pointed her thumb behind her. Ron followed and found what could only be described as Terminator and Wonder Woman costumes spread around the hot tub. Black leather jacket and chaps, blue star booty shorts and all. Wigs included.

"Just a guess, but either your parents are way more kinky and sneaky than you'd ever want to give them credit for..." Bon-Bon let it hang there as she tiptoed her way over to Ron so they were both looking at the tub, her arms crossed and a disgruntled look on her face. Clearly the purple princess was a little grossed out, or just annoyed that her favorite spot had been violated by someone else. The sidekick was right there with her. "Or a couple of washed-up geriatric actors who can't let go of their glory days somehow knew the resident millionaire sidekick was gone for the week and snuck into your house. Can't tell which is worse, really."

"No. No. It's them." Ron sighed as he stared at the costumes, hoping to the gods of fun-times-gone-bad the stains on the gold plating were just from the food. "Believe it or not, this isn't the first time I've caught them doing this kinda thing."

"Ronnie, people still do it after they have a kid."

"No. I mean in my room." Ron said, narrowing his eyes at his beloved hot tub. The place where he'd had his first girly action. "During one of our usual 'Spandex patrols', I was stuck at the North Pole digging through garbage most of the day just trying not to starve and freeze to death. Long story. Bottom line- I came home in the middle of the night. Found them in my room. Half drunk. Naked. And humping... Merry Christmas."

"Huh..."

Ron didn't bother to look at her as he continued to glare at the crown jewel of his man-cave. If the sidekick let it show how much the memory bothered him, he decided he didn't care. It wasn't the act itself that stung, though it did. Or that when he told them how he spent the day digging through garbage in a frozen wasteland with a homicidal blue psychotic, his parents didn't even pretend to care. Oh no, it was how happy they were that he was gone and how disappointed they were by his return. The second thing they said to him after he opened the door, to his own room, was outright asking why their son wasn't with the Possible family.

'The family that actually cares about me.' Ron thought, as the image of the clan across the street that had traveled the world to find and rescue him popped into his head. The family that chose to spend the day with him. His real family.

The royalty check prince's frown deepened as he spotted the names of his parents stamped on the undies in the discarded costumes. Then he remembered his bank account. The money he earned. The one thing in all his life his parents chose to spend time with him over. Pestering him even. That is, right up until he gave them the funds for their second honeymoon and to renovate the house. After that they promptly ignored his ass again.

Two guesses as to what the Stoppable family's only son and child picked up on and made sure only he could access while his parents were gone on said honeymoon. The only thing he would ever allow his parents to pay for with 'family money'.

"Your parents don't like you, do they?" Bonnie asked bluntly, like she did with everything. Surprisingly, when the sidekick turned to look at her he could tell she wasn't teasing or mocking him. Her face was a blank slate. A mask of nothingness. The royalty check prince couldn't have said a damn thing about it.

"Huh? Oh, no. Not at al- well, my dad?" Ron gave a so-so gesture. "He doesn't mind helping me with my math homework. Other than that... Meh, toss up."

"Just for the sake of it." Bonnie pointed at him, her finger in gun pose. "Mommy Issues Me."

"Hard no." The resident millionaire made a farting sound, his thumb pointing down. "She for sure wanted a girl. Never said it, but all my baby pictures until I was two are me in dresses, bows, and pink. The 'Mama's Girl' Baby Gap shirt really sold it."

The purple princess looked at him for a moment, frozen solid. Her teal eyes stared hard into his baby browns before she opened her mouth to speak, but she closed it and shook her head.

"A ton of stuff just started making sense." Bonnie nodded in comprehension, with a whistle.

Ron shrugged and pulled the tray from between his legs and tossed it, sending one final glare towards his filth covered golden girly fun-zone. He no longer needed it, and that had nothing to do with the ice cubes it was holding.

"Moving on!" The purple princess all but shouted, pointing back at the desk. "I need you to push that thing so it's facing the foot of your bed."

"Okaaay." Ron tilted his head at her, feeling the emotional whiplash. "Why?"

"It's part of the whole reason I'm here." Bonnie tilted her head back at him, even harder to the side. "Besides the food thing."

"And whatever's inside your backpack. I figured." The sidekick said, pointing to the thing that almost smashed his nose not ten minutes ago. "Why am I doing it? I know how strong you are. You could bench press the thing with one hand."

Ron wasn't kidding. It was a medium sized desk. The sidekick would be surprised if it weighed fifty pounds soaking wet.

"Besides that it was covered in greasy garbage?" Bonnie asked, pointing at the now filled wastebasket. The purple princess pulled some Bueno Nacho wet naps she'd swiped out of her pocket and tossed them at him. "Clean that, by the way."

"Besides that, yeah."

"Because I need a pick-me-up after that depressing-ass story." Bonnie spat, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Plus I'm still pissed off at how they hogged your place to themselves the whole week, ate all the food you made for me, and turned my personal golden fun-zone into... that! Your parents are assholes. But since I can't do anything about it, I'm making you my stress ball. So get ready for things to be fun for me and not for you."

Ron Stoppable, the only child, heir, and founder of the recent family fortune started at the open gold digger who clung on his arm the moment he got the check, and did so for a solid two. Just standing there frozen...and proceeded to burst out laughing. A deep hearty belly laugh that quickly enough started to hurt his lungs and forced the sidekick to hold onto a desk to stand straight.

"Ya know, when most people hear their parents insulted in their own house to their faces... they don't usually act like that." Bonnie said, a lopsided- almost relieved smile on her face as she pointed at him. "Its not normal."

"N-never be normal." Ron chuckled.

The sidekick couldn't really help it. It was just too outlandish. Of all the people he had told about his parents loving and affectionate relationship to, most ignored him out of hand. Best he usually got was a silent pat on the back, or maybe 'that's rough, kid'. This was the first time anyone called out Ma and Pa Stoppable for their shenanigans. Granted, she was barking about unwitting wrongs against her, But still. The royalty check prince decided he'll take what he can get.

"Yeah, well..." Bonnie tilted her head side to side like a pendulum, biting her lip. "Little surprised you're okay with anything that's supposed to be fun for me and not for you."

"Yeah, well... Usually when stuff is supposed to be only fun for you, it usually ends up fun for me too." The resident millionaire said looking directly at the purple princess's chest. Specifically where a couple of things very similar to Yori's ninja stars started poking out. "You feel me?"

"Ah." Bon-Bon snorted. "I believe I will soon. Yes."

"Awesome!" Ron did a fist pump with his free hand... and wishing he didn't toss away the tray of ice.

"Now move the desk for me already."

"Sure, just a let me get some pants." Ron said, turning toward his dresser. The sidekick's hand was cramping from holding the couch cushion over his crotch so long.

"Don't bother. I got something for ya." The purple princess said digging through her matching backpack and pulling out a pair of black compression shorts. "I've got a pair of man-panties for you to wear."

"Y-You had to say 'man-panties'?" Ron eyed her. "Really?"

"You have a better name for them?" Bonnie's grew a teasing smile.

"Any other name."

"Well I couldn't call'em a thong. There's too much material." Bon-Bon added a raised an eyebrow to her smile. "You're out of luck."

"You know, if you wanted me to get all dressed up all you had to do was ask." Ron shook his head with a smile, grabbing the 'man-panties'. Surprisingly they were in his size. "Little disappointed though. I always thought that if you put me in a costume there'd be more spandex. Maybe a mask. Possibly a bright logo on the front. That sort of thing."

"Ohhh, there's a mask." Bonnie said, her smirk turning... *villainous*. The sidekick felt a chill crawl up his spine.

"Gulp."