Defense Against The D.P.
The clock ticked in Dumbledore's office. He sighed reflecting on the day that had passed. Another day of supervising students. Another day of the same monotony. He watched as the generations beyond him passed him by. He remembered one moment earlier in the day when he yelled violently at Neville Longbottom. It wasn't Neville's fault in the slightest. What bothered Albus was his decreasing familiarity with the young wizard culture around him.
"Whatever happened to the soulja boy?" He reflected somberly.
Suddenly a knock echoed through the chamber. Albus sprang out of his seat excitedly. He had hoped the company would help him revel in some fond memories. Little did he know he would revel in more than memories. Some spunk as well.
"Come in!" He yelled in his raspy, probably smoked a lot in the past kind of old man voice.
The middle aged man with a chiseled, scowling face slowly entered. He held some boxes in arms.
"I have brought some Magic Pizza HutTM" He said in his monotone voice.
"Ahh, Magic Pizza HutTM, excellent. I trust you have also brought some Wizard Cheesy BitesTM?" Dumbledore said with a nostalgic smile on his face.
"Of course." Snape said, still standing there while holding all that food.
"Unfortunately old friend, I do not have any cash with which to compensate you." Dumbledore frowned.
"It's no trouble. The school paid for it." Snape said assuringly.
"Oh, no no no no no no no no" Dumbledore continued to repeat as he walked towards Snape.
Dumbledore was about 300 feet from Snape because the room was fucking huge. He continued walking towards Snape while he stood there holding the pizza boxes. The heat from the food was starting to emanate through his sleeves and burn his arms slightly. However, Snape was quite calm in the moment.
Dumbledore finally made his way to Snape, holding out his index finger the entire time. He placed it tenderly, but all too suddenly and roughly on Severus' lips.
"We can't have you bringing pizza without a...tip." Dumbledore whispered quietly.
Snape struggled to hear what Dumbledore said because he whispered so quietly, but he was quick to catch on thanks to his former mentors exceptionally wide bedroom eyes. The two thrust themselves upon each other. Snape tossed the pizza on the floor in the process of embracing Dumbledore. The pizza fell facedown with the box opening shortly before impact. The mess would be great, and Filtch would spend several hours cleaning out stains from the carpet. The two made out for 20 uninterrupted minutes. The entire time, Snape hummed a dull and monotone "mmmmm" that overshadowed any noise that his counterpart gave out.
As soon as the two separated, they began to disrobe. Snape removed his cape, and then Dumbledore did the same. Then they removed their outer cloaks, shortly followed by their inner cloaks. After several stages of clothing removal, they both were nude, wood solid wands beckoning towards one another. Dumbledore studied Snape's unimpressive body. His pectorals drooped from age. Like plastic bags of melted butter hanging from a wall. Snape's belly was the second most solid part of his body likely from years of heavy drinking because of that shrew Lilly getting murdered, resulting in a strangely rock like shell of belly fat. The first most solid thing was his penis. Dumbledore's mouth gaped in awe of this solid tree branch of a cock.
"Severus, I once had you as a young man. Now, let me have you as grown maaaaaaan." When he said man, his voice began to trail of in an gravely, unintelligible old man mess.
They then proceeded to dock. Dumbledore peeled his foreskin up a good 5 CM above the head of his penis, giving Snape ample room to slide his pestle right into the new cavity. Snape could feel years of spunk from previous lovers caked into the foreskin. He couldn't feel flesh, only crusted semen. He wondered if Dumbledore ever washed down there. He didn't. Dumbledore moaned in pleasure like a ghost that was jacking off. He suddenly pushed Severus away and grabbed a bit of steel wool. He proceeded to grate off some of the caked in spooge and dick cheese onto a baguette.
Severus immediately knew what he was driving at. Like Lady and The Tramp, they began eating the bread at different ends. It tasted salty and mucus-ey all at once. The excitement caused Dumbledore to unleash a forceful spell all over Snape's thighs. Snape remained erect and dry as a result of years of edging whenever he masturbated while thinking about being in a relationship with Harry's mom because he can't let things go like a fucking weirdo.
Dumbledore realized that his guest was left hanging dry, so he placed Snape's wand in his bony, thin, arthritic hands. Snape grinned as he looked down at Albus. He placed his thumb and pointer finger at the opening of the penis and stretched it open. He began to thrust his tongue into Snapes urethra. Snape was no stranger to potions, but this experience brought him back to when he was a child pouring chlorine bleach down there.
"Such skill!" Snape exclaimed, not being able to get any other words out from pleasure.
"I am headmaster after all." Dumbledore somehow got out quite articulately while tonguing Snape's pisshole.
However before Snape could get his sorcerer's stones off, Cho Chang entered the room. She stood shocked, looking at the headmaster tongue out 5 inches from his face and ending in Snape's snake. Dumbledore stood up, and glared at the young Ravenclaw.
"Headmaster? Professor Snape? What are you two doing?" She asked, terrified.
"Why, we're practicing a new lesson." Dumbledore said calmly.
Cho Chang smiled.
"Well, is there room for one more?!" She shouted far too loudly.
Within seconds she threw all of her clothes. The two were shocked how suddenly she was able to get all that off. Like it was a single, fluid motion. Dumbledore shrugged, and gave a gentle smile at the eager student. Cho sat herself atop a desk and spread herself in the fashion a Ravenclaw would. Dumbledore strolled his way towards Cho, and crouched down.
His joints audibly cracked as he squatted. Cho winced at the sound but eagerly anticipated the headmaster's legendary skills. He proceeded to fingerblast her. He then steadily progressed it into a fisting. He didn't stop there. He went further into an armblasting. Soon enough he was shoulder deep inside Cho. He wiggled his fingers to tickle her ovaries as he moved his torso back and forth into her. Cho squealed in delight. Soon enough, Dumbledore slowed down. He pulled away from Cho. It was as if he had dipped his arm in cool whip, and if the cool whip had smelled like spoiled milk and pennies.
The entire time Snape watched. He wasn't touching himself, but he remained erect. He locked eyes with Cho as Dumbledore transitioned to old fashioned cunnilingus.
"I knew Headmaster Dumbledore wasn't fluent in Parseltongue, but I didn't realize he was adept in Pussytongue." She said as seductively as she could. Snape approached the two and grabbed Cho by the throat.
"It's-time-we-kicked-this-up-a-notch." He said in his staccato manner of speaking.
Cho looked confused. Snape made it clear as he flipped Cho over and proceeded to enter the backdoor of this Ravenclaw. It was dry and scratchy as he journeyed his way into her unshaven asshole lube free, but with a sudden jolting thrust accompanied by a sudden cry of pain and pleasure, he had reached his goal. He thrusted in a staccato fashion as well while he spoke to her in the same manner.
"This-is-worth-some-extra-cre-dit" He said mid thrust.
Dumbledore being no slouch got behind Snape. He tenderly kissed the Snape of his neck, and then spread his slouching, sagging buttcheeks and then plugged his Flutterby Bush. The train was intense. Dumbledore would thrust, and that would push Snape, and that would push Cho. It was a well oiled machine of fucking. Suddenly Dumbledore shouted.
"Accio Broom!" A broom flew over to them. Snape understood what Dumbledore wanted. However, Cho being a stupid, dumb idiot had to have it spelled out to her.
"Let-us-ride-while-you-ride-my-dong" Snape said with his mouth clenched as tight as his asshole.
The three got on the broom. They rocketed into the sky, flying around towers, zooming past birds, and passing by unsuspecting students none the wiser. They flew across the moon, their silhouettes resembling that part in E.T. where the alien makes that bike fly only it's three wizards fucking in a train while riding a broom.
Snape felt like he was getting close. His climax was near, and he was about to bust in this Ravenclaw's intestinal lining. It was not lost on Snape that he was fucking the girl that Harry pined for, in fact it made it better. Fuck you James Potter.
Unfortunately, the other two were getting close as well. What made this so bad was that the more pleasure they felt, the more they angled the broom upwards. The broom angled so far upwards that Dumbledore slid off. A squelching noise was made once Dumbledore's Dumbledong slid out of Snape's ass. Dumbledore plummeted down, and fell upon a spire. He was impaled.
Snape and Cho quickly descended and made their way to Dumbledore. A metal spire jutted through his abdomen. Snape panicked. He knew that he could lose his tenure for this; being caught having sex with a student and letting Dumbledore die. He felt conflicted in calling for help. Dumbledore smiled with blood dripping from his mouth, and nodded.
"Worry not, Severus. It was my own doing." Dumbledore assured him. "However, before you go and make an alibi, I have one final request." Snape did not need to hear the request. He already knew. Dumbledore had barely enough blood to maintain his erection.
Snape squatted onto Dumbledore's wand, his anus squelched again upon entry. He began to twerk his ass on Dumbledore, doing all the work in order to save his master's precious energy. Cho followed suit; with tears in her eyes, she sat on the headmaster's face. Dumbledore meekly wiggled his tongue up and down her chocolate frosted donut, and she knew he was close to death. Soon Dumbledore tensed up. He shot his patronus right into Severus' chamber of secrets.
Along with that final release was the release of his life. The two tearfully left the body with a suicide note Cho forged for him. Cho returned to her chambers to cry, and Snape returned to Dumbledore's chambers. He picked up a Wizard Cheesy BiteTM and ate it. It was so good that he came buckets all over the desk.