Canon events (the pre-UA ones) have been moved up. Izuku and Katsuki are 11 in this fic, but they'll still be in UA at 15.

Izuku woke with the corners of his eyelids crusted over, looking like he had cried throughout the night rather than succumbing to exhaustion as he had. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling.

It wouldn't have changed anything if it was.

A series of cracks sounded as he sat up and stretched, trying to make himself feel better.

It didn't work.

It never did.

Ignoring his aches and avoiding the larger than life eyes of his All Might merchandise, he pulled himself from the floor to prepare for school.

He quickly bypasses his mother's bedroom, instead rushing further into the apartment, ducking around the corner and into the open bathroom just as his mother pulls her door open.

While he was hiding away from her, his mother was wondering if there was something she had missed.

Inko stared blankly at the bathroom door as her son rushed to get it closed, almost like he was running away from something.

She shook her head. The thought of it was insane, what could her Izuku possibly be running from in the comfort of his home.

Still, she had to wonder. She should've asked him if he was all right, but by that point she could hear the shower running and thought that it might not be the right time.

Inko turned away from the bathroom and focused instead on preparing for her day, momentarily forgetting about her concerns.

Izuku made his way to school, focusing the small amount of energy he had left on mentally preparing himself for the day ahead. All he wanted to do was run somewhere far away and curl up in a tiny ball.

It was morbidly funny, he thought as he looked around, that he was so shaken and the world hadn't changed a bit.

Why would it, he was only making something big out of nothing. It wasn't too late to give up on his plan. He was still alive, after all.

Still, this might as well have been the only possible solution. He'd seen the statistics for quirkless people, he had lamented at the difference when they didn't have a good support system.

His mom was great, but...

Besides that, he hated hiding things from her, but he really didn't think he had a choice. He didn't want to worry her.

And that was it, wasn't it? He didn't want her to know because he was afraid that she would worry.

Or maybe he was afraid that she wouldn't.

Izuku shook his head to get rid of those thoughts before continuing his walk to school.

Either way, there would be no reason for her to worry if he was dead.

Izuku managed to make his way into the school and collapse into his seat without obstruction. It wasn't that strange of an occurrence, so Izuku didn't pay the (lack of) incident any mind.

Even if it had been strange, he wouldn't have noticed as distracted as he was.

Still, Izuku didn't stay distracted for long.

He shoved down all his worrisome thoughts and ignored his anxiety as best as he could, but when he did...

There was an obvious divide in the classroom. People were quiet and they were separate.

They were distancing themselves... from him.

People surrounding him, and yet he had never felt so isolated. All those years of misery, every bullshit comment they threw at him, nothing could compare to this.

All around him were people avoiding his gaze, pretending that he didn't exist.

Was it that easy?

And he wasn't stupid, he knew what Kacchan did to make this happen. He knew why he was alone.

The way that Kacchan looked at him the day before, how horrified he was at his own words, of course he would do something like this. He also knew how much power Kacchan held in their grade, how his quirk made it easy enough to construct a hierarchy with the people surrounding them.

A hierarchy that he happened to be at the top of.

It wasn't that far of a leap to realizing that Kacchan was guilty and had some strange urge to protect him because of it.

Chills ran along the length of his spine, and Izuku sat straighter up in his seat. Kacchan didn't know, did he? He couldn't.

Izuku's breath started coming out in little pants as he broke out in a cold sweat.

There was no way Katsuki knew he was going to kill himself.

If he did, he would've said something. He would've cared.

The sad thing was, after years of torment and abuse, Izuku couldn't tell if that was true.

And he didn't want to get his hopes up.

He fell back against his chair, defeated.

Besides that, to ostracize someone so fully and think they would be happy with that... Kacchan must not have even realized how completely alone he was.

And Izuku knew Kacchan couldn't have done that on purpose, at least. The isolation. He would never.

Because Katsuki was just as alone in his power as Izuku was without it.

For the rest of the school day, Izuku couldn't help but to sit rigid, anticipating the steely coldness that would surround him as soon as he made to leave.

He didn't want to be alone, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

His thoughts were cut short by the bell, and he rushed to escape the classroom in a panic like he always did.

For once, the other students didn't stop him.

He almost didn't notice, just like he almost didn't notice Kacchan's confused stare resting on his back as he ran.

Hopefully he wouldn't be concerned enough to follow.

(Secretly, Izuku wished Katsuki would follow him. He was going to be a hero! The best hero! There was no way he wouldn't help!)

(Even more secretly, Izuku saddened as he realized how doubtful that was.)

The thought made Izuku's dismay quadruple, and he more or less collapsed into a bathroom nearby, not bothering to check the stalls.

No one would be here this late in the day. No one but him.

He stumbled, smacking his torso into the sink closest to him and falling back against it.

It felt for a time that the sink was the only thing stopping his shaking body from dropping straight to the dirty tiles below.

The day had been so absolutely distressing, and as he sat there he wondered for a second if it had even been real. Maybe it would've been more believable for this to be the only real day he'd experienced.

After all, why wouldn't he be alone?

He probably didn't even exist to these people.

Izuku tried to recall what his mother would say to help him, maybe something along the lines of quirkless people not having it that bad. Everything was fine, quirkless people are treated just the same as anyone else. The future had to be bright after all, even for people like him.

It was all fine.

And then she would cradle him in her arms and ask him if he was alright.

They both knew what she wanted to hear. Only he knew that it could never be the truth.

He was never alright, but still he would tell her he was fine.

It would be the only way for her to be fine.

He needed her to be fine.

He tried to convince himself the thought was comforting, but the next thing he knew was the floor under his aching knees and the steady stream of tears running down his face.

He toyed for a second with the idea of getting up, but the crumble of his body upon itself when he tried was enough to sway him against it.

Instead, he continued with his whimpering. The saltiness of sweat and tears and snot making their way into his mouth was nothing compared to the raw, soul-crushing want that poured out of him.

All he wanted was for somebody to care. All he needed was someone to believe in him.

For a few short moments, Izuku honestly thought he saw Kacchan reaching out to him in his panic. He'd almost thought it was real, but he blinked and the fantasy had already disappeared from his teary gaze.

The sobs escaped with a stronger ferocity than before as Izuku scrunched his shirt in his hands and tried to dry his face to no avail.

When he followed the nerd to find out what the actual fuck was he doing, why was he so goddamn tense all day, he hadn't been expecting this.

Katsuki reached out his hand, about to offer his help to Deku as he laid there in shambles. He ignored the urge to shout at him instead, knowing that wouldn't be of any help.

The word unsettled him and he took a step back, arm still raised towards the runt as he faltered. Help.

Izuku stuck out his hand, concerned eyes offering to pull Katsuki back up from where he'd fallen. He paid no mind to the water soaking his shoes, only to his friend in need.

Before Deku could realize he wasn't alone, that someone was there to help him, Katsuki took back his hand. Bile making its way up the back of his throat, he turned to walk away.

Katsuki wasn't a hero. Izuku wasn't his friend.

Why would he ever help him?

Bakugou Katsuki walked out of the bathroom, fighting to act as if the sudden heartbroken screams erupting out of it weren't getting to him.

Eyes and chest aching, Izuku pulled numb hands up to scratch at his face. You'd think that with how often he cries he'd remember how absolutely fucked up he feels afterward.

Still, this time was somehow different. He still couldn't breathe, his legs were still trembling, and his heart still hurt.

How sad was it that he was so selfish as to want people to coddle him when he wasn't feeling okay?

How could he sit there and think that he needed more than what he had?

Everything would only get worse if someone knew about his plans. For him to wish that someone else would care enough to feel hurt when he did, for someone to miss him when he's gone.

Why should anyone else hurt because of him?

Thoughts flashed through his mind, of what could've happened if he had made All Might drop the Sludge Villain the day before? Jumping on the hero's leg the way he did, he could've killed both of them.

He could have accidentally set the villain free. He could have caused another poor civilian to lose their life to be a body suit.

It would've been all his fault. And just because he wanted to ask his idol a question.

What made him so important, that he could just stop caring about others? Why was he so special?

Why was he so greedy?

He wouldn't hurt anyone ever again.

Pulling himself from the cold floor, Izuku ignored the sway of his head and the exhaustion seeping into his bones.

He looked to himself in the bathroom mirror, trying to find what was different.

He looked through the drying tears and snot, the cooling sweat, the bitten lips, and found nothing, but the sight of his face...

Izuku turned and sprinted to the stalls, a hand to his mouth, and bent to retch into the nearest toilet.

...He'd never hated someone so much.

That night, Inko worried some more about her son.

Still, she never asked him if he was okay. She didn't ask if he was alright.

And Izuku didn't offer up the information. He was still wondering about the extent of his selfishness.

Would telling someone cause them more pain? Or leaving (read: Dying) without anyone even knowing why?

They both thought, or hoped at the very least, that he would soon tell her everything. Whether he wanted to or not.

Good thing Izuku realized, selfishness be damned, that he wanted to tell someone about his troubles.

Unfortunately, they both severely overestimated his ability to do that.

Katsuki walked home from the school in a daze. Even as he looked around him for the twelfth time, he knew Deku wouldn't be around. The nerd was probably still crying his little heart out in that bathroom.

And he'd left him there.

He wasn't a hero, that was for sure.

But he wanted to be.

Katsuki trudged away from the green-haired boy. He was strong enough to get up by himself, so why did Deku think he was so weak? He didn't need his help; He didn't need anyone's help.

He should've taken Deku's hand.

He should've helped him instead of leaving him there.

There wasn't anything that could be done about it anymore.

He would try his best to be a hero, but he couldn't save his and Deku's friendship.

Still, thoughts of the abuse he'd inflicted against his old friend plagued him throughout the night. And no matter how he twisted and turned and popped and snarled, no matter how his mom shouted and his dad cowered, they wouldn't disappear.

And all night long, a single question kept emerging in his mind.

Was it Katsuki who had made Izuku cry like that?