For those concerned, this story is a faux blueprint for what a live-action series based on Helluva Boss would like. You can blame me again, but you can also blame my friends again, who listed their suggestions for their fancasting choices in my PM box. Some were inspired, others were odd.
Plot: "Based on the web cartoon of the same name and set in the same universe as Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss centers on the misadventures of the I.M.P. (or, alternatively, the "Immediate Murder Professionals"), an assassination company established exclusively in Hell. The members include Blitzo (Ryan Reynolds; the 'O' is silent), the founder, manager, and titular boss of the overall venture and the adoptive father of Loona; Moxxie (Sebastian Stan), the weapons specialist and the husband of Millie; Millie (Elizabeth Olsen), the powerhouse bruiser and the wife of Moxxie; and Loona (Kathryn Newton), the Hellhound receptionist and the adoptive daughter of Blitzo. Together, they attempt to survive the mayhem (as well as each other) that surrounds and follows them as they try to keep the company afloat."
Cast:
1) Ryan Reynolds as Blitzo: The founder, manager, and titular boss of the Immediate Murder Professionals (aka the "I.M.P."). Energetic and enthusiastic but barely competent, Blitzo (the 'O' is silent) prides himself as being professional and motivational, an example for his workers to follow. In reality, however, Blitzo is immature, egotistical, and even downright disrespectful towards said workers; his methods in instilling inspiration in them leave very much to be desired. On those rare occasions, however, Blitzo can be caring and supportive towards his team, whom he sees as his makeshift family and is fiercely protective of, especially his adoptive daughter Loona. If someone hurts or threatens them...all bets are off.
2) Sebastian Stan as Moxxie: The firearms/weapons specialist of I.M.P. and the loving husband of Millie. Much more practical, professional, and reserved than his boss and co-workers, Moxxie's code of morality is what sets him apart from his more amoral associates. Of course, it is his status as the straight man and voice of reason amongst his teammates that also earns him as the status as the residental butt-monkey and chew-toy. However, this does not diminish his ability as an assassin during missions, being crazy-prepared and carrying multiple weapons as once. If Moxxie is really riled up (or when someone hurts or threatens his loved ones), he can become absolutely lethal. Plus, he shares a friendship with Charlie.
3) Elizabeth Olsen as Millie: The powerhouse bruiser of I.M.P. and the loving wife of Moxxie. Sweet, friendly, lively, cheerful, cute, cuddly and extroverted on the surface, Millie is a ruthless and bloodthirsty piece of work beneath the surface that only emerges during actual work. It's this savage side to her that serves as Moxxie's source of attraction towards her and his method of bringing out his own brutality. In turn, Moxxie's more friendly demeanor brings out her own sensitivity and morality. As such, when someone hurts or threatens him, her family, and other loved ones, Millie can be murderously violent and let rage overcome the best of her in battle.
4) Kathryn Newton as Loona: The Hellhound receptionist of I.M.P. and the adoptive teenage daughter of Blitzo. Lazy, apathetic, cynical, and choleric to the core, Loona would prefer to be anywhere but at her place of work, but nonethless keeps her position thanks to her adoptive father's pampering. Despite her rude and mean-spirited demeanor, however, Blitzo is the one person Loona would show any kind of affection and gratitude for. She is thankful to have a father figure to call her own, but she merely has issues showing it. It is also because of her past that she is emotionally unstable and socially awkward in the present day...but a chance encounter with a fellow Hellhound seeks to change that. (NOTE: Dove Cameron, Olivia Holt and Brianna Hildebrand were alternate casting choices.)
5) Hugh Jackman as Stolas: A Goetical Prince of Hell who is an owl-like demon in a...complicated relationship with Blitzo. Regal, decadent, and exigent, Stolas is also the demon responsible for granting I.M.P. the grimoire (fancy word for "book of spells") required to perform their jobs on Earth. Unfortunately, the manner in which Blitzo acquired said grimoire from Stolas has left the owl prince hungry for more. However, while not engaging in extramarital affairs, he holds a soft spot for his teenage daughter Octavia, whom he acts as a "dorky dad" towards and whose happiness he places above his own; if someone hurts or threatens her, Stolas is more than capable of holding his own and ending fights before they even start. (NOTE: Ed Skrein, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Paul Rudd were alternate casting choices.)
6) Katherine Langford as Cherri Bomb: A radical anarchist first introduced in Hazbin Hotel, Cherri Bomb is a new patron of the titular establishment who travels to Imp City to settle a score, masquerading as a new recruit for I.M.P. Forming a friendship with Loona and Octavia, Cherri is eventually hired by I.M.P. for real as a security member, keeping intruders out of headquarters while Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie perform their assassinations. Of course, since she's been hired by Alastor to work as security for the Hazbin Hotel as well, this means Cherri has to perform double duty and rely more than her signature explosives to get the job done.
7) Florence Pugh as Octavia: An adolescent avian demon and the teenage daughter of Stolas. Moody, brooding, and sullen, Octavia's appearance at first seems to evoke the stereotypical gothic teenager, complete with the stark, cynical character and dry sense of humor to match. However, beneath the dour and pessimistic personality is a broken and enduring child having to cope with the tumultuous and deteriorating relationship betwen her parents; the aforementioned personality and rapid-fire sarcasm was merely her coping mechanism. Of course, it doesn't hurt to form a friendship with Loona and Cherri Bomb.
8) Tom Hiddleston as Fizzarolli / Robo Fizz: A jester-like demon entertainment and performer under the employment of the demon Mammon. Disdainful and belligerent, Fizzarolli has no qualms over letting corporate marketing exploit his image for the sake of popularity, going so far as to lend his likeliness to an identical robotic double. This duplicate antagonizes Blitzo and Octavia during the trip to Loo Loo Land, particularly Blitzo over the fact that he (Fizzarolli / Robo Fizz) was far more successful than him (Blitzo).
9) Morena Baccarin as Verosika Mayday: A succubus demon and infamous popstar in Hell who is an ex-girlfriend of Blitzo's. Seductive, persuasive, and cunning (befitting her succubus persona), Verosika can be very manipulative when it comes to playing her friends and enemies in a game of cat and mouse and very capable of holding a hostile grudge against anyone who wrongs or disrespects her, particularly Blitzo. Of course, she has ironic standards when it comes to certain sexual partners.
10) Michael B. Jordan as Vortex: The Hellhound bodyguard of Verosika and the love interest of Loona. Despite having an intimidating appearance and the profession to justify it, Vortex is actually a friendly, approachable, and laid-back person with a sense of nobility who can be quite professional and no-nonsense when the job calls for it; in any case, he shares no personal animosity towards the central cast because his boss' grudges don't concern grudges. Despite having a girlfriend, Vortex and Loona just can't stay away from each other.
11) Margot Robbie as Mrs. Mayberry: A former schoolteacher turned Sinner who ended up in Hell after a murder-suicide. Furious at the revelation that her husband Jarold was cheating on her with a mistress named Martha (on her birthday, no less) and the ensuing fallout that saw Martha hailed as a hero for surviving, she becomes one of I.M.P.'s first clients and conscripts them to kill her before becoming a patron of the Hazbin Hotel. Mayberry serves as a motherly figure towards the younger cast members. (NOTE: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lyndsy Fonesca, and Lizzy Caplan were alternate casting choices.)
12) Michelle Williams as Stella: The wife of Stolas and the mother of Octavia who is a wealthy and powerful socialite. Neglectful towards the latter and temperamental towards the former, Stella's patience towards her husband's infidelity was worn past thin, but not because Stolas had cheated on her in general, but rather the fact he cheated on her with an Imp of all creatures (aka "classism"). With little-to-no tolerance, Stella eventually puts a hit on the head of her husband. (NOTE: Evangeline Lilly, Rachel McAdams, and Natalie Dormer were alternate casting choices.)
13) Zachary Levi as Cletus: The baby-like ("Putto") leader of C.H.E.R.U.B., the mirror counterpart agency of I.M.P., and therefore the foil to Blitzo. Happy, carefree, and above else, optimistic, Cletus can be A) incredibly self-righteous when it comes to his job, which he performs out of obligation and not genuine altruism; B) incredibly angry when someone, especially a demon, interferes with his job; and C) incredibly emotional when things don't go as they intended. After being banished from Heaven alongside his fellow C.H.E.R.U.B. members after indirectly causing the death of Lyle Lipton, Cletus becomes a patron of the Hazbin Hotel and begins an affair with Stella.
14) James McAvoy as Collin: The first anthropomorphic sheep in the service of C.H.E.R.U.B. and the foil to Moxxie. Sweet, sensitive, and soft-spoken, Collin is commited to the job of helping and protecting the living much like the rest of his fellow members. However, unlike his fellow members, he seems to be the only one genuinely committed to his job, showing care and kindness to the clients, while being the least prone to resort to anger and violence. After being banished from Heaven alongside his fellow C.H.E.R.U.B. members after indirectly causing the death of Lyle Lipton, Collin becomes a patron of the Hazbin Hotel and begins a relationship with Niffty...while still in one with Keenie.
15) Karen Gillan as Keenie: The second anthropomorphic sheep in the service of C.H.E.R.U.B. and the foil to Millie. Feigning kindness and inspiration towards her clients as a form of coercion, Keenie's intolerance for the job being led astray and interest in the job itself matches that of her boss Cletus. In fact, she is actually far more violent, aggressive, hostile, and utterly contemptous towards demons than her male co-workers. After being banished from Heaven alongside his fellow C.H.E.R.U.B. members after indirectly causing the death of Lyle Lipton, Keenie becomes a patron of the Hazbin Hotel and begins working at Porn Studios as a rising adult film star, her popularity rivaling that of Angel Dust's.
16) Judy Greer as Deerie: An anthropomorphic deer (or fawn) and an angel of a higher ranking. Like all Cherubs, Deerie is cheerful, optimistic, and angelic. However, she can be quite passive-aggressive and indifferent of the misery of others, to the point of becoming amused or getting a kick out of it. In fact, she is the one who bans C.H.E.R.U.B. from reentering Heaven...against the orders of her superior. She has a tendency to match drawn-out "Yeah's...", little "No's...", and rapid-fire "No's..." in her sentences.
17) Amber Heard as Martha: A quintessential Southern Belle who is the wife of Ralphie and the mistress of Jarold Mayberry. Considered a hero in the eyes of the public after surviving her the homicide attempt, Martha's true reputation as a homicidal maniac doesn't even being to cover it. In fact, her entire family is a bunch of murderous Satanic cannibals behind closed doors. After being shot in the head by Moxxie, Martha becomes a succubus demon and finds work with Verosika Mayday's entourage...much to Ralphie's delight.
18) James Marsden as Ralphie: The husband of Martha and the father of their two children, all of whom participate in their cannibalistic rituals. Despite his homicidal nature, Ralphie cares deeply about his family, showing paternal instinct towards his son and daughter and loving affection towards his wife. After their deaths when a police helicopter fires a missile at their house, Ralphie and their two children becomes Sinners, the former becoming a Hellhound-like demon and working alongside Verosika Mayday's entourage...much to Martha's delight.
19) Woody Harrelson as Wally Wackford: An Imp businessman with a distinctive Southern accent and an eccentric personality. Shifty and duplicitous, Wally Wackford has no shame in admitting that he is desperate to make quick-easy cash, even if it means exploiting the ideas and inventions of creative new employees for his own benefit. However, he's far from the most evil villain faced by the I.M.P., who view him more of a nuisance if anything else other than an actual villain. His employees include the recently deceased Loopty Goopty and Lyle Lipton.
20) Josie Totah as Sallie May: The transgender sister of Millie and one of the two daughters of Joe and Lin. Just as cheerful and violent as Millie, Sallie May also harbors a worrisome high kill count, equally matching that of her sister's. However, unlike her sister, she is far more careful when disposing of the bodies. She can be relatively more snarky and laid-back than Millie, but she cares about her sister and parents in her own special way.
21) Josh Brolin as Striker: An Imp who is hired as a farmhand for Millie's family. However, in reality, Striker is also an assassin for hire...one who is far more skilled, competent, and dangerous than I.M.P.'s majority. Smart, charismatic, and fearless, he is proven to be a highly capable assassin, athlete, and musician with a sense of honor and respect towards his allies, opponents, and employers. However, Striker is also arrogant and ambitious, his aspirations to rise to the top of Hell's hierarchy made crystal clear. (NOTE: Sam Rockwell and Chris Pine were alternate casting choices.)
Directed By: Chad Stahelski & David Leitch
Written By: Derek Kolstad
Music By: Tyler Bates
Songs By: Alan Menken, Robert Lopez, & Kristen Anderson-Lopez
Stunt Coordinators: Sam Hargrave & Monique Ganderton
Production Companies: New Line Cinema (Owned By Warner Bros.), AGBO (Owned By The Russo Brothers), 87North Productions (Owned By David Leitch, Kelly McCormick, & occasionally Chad Stahelski), Freckle Films (Owned By Jessica Chastain), Kinberg Genre (Owned By Simon Kinberg), LuckyChap Entertainment (Owned By Margot Robbie), Platinum Dunes (Owned By Michael Bay), SpindleHorse Toons (Owned By Vivienne Medrano aka "Vivziepop")
Distributed By: Warner Bros. Pictures (Owned By...The Warner Brothers) / Netflix (Owned By Reed Hastings & Marc Randolph)
I said it once, I'll say it twice: "Remember, this is a joke not meant to be taken seriously In you want to discuss this, please do so in the review section."
P.S., I didn't actually look at the reviews myself.