The Opening Band:

Bennie: "Hey! What's Up! Bennie Badger back at it again with LoudNoise. You just saw me interviewing Pels Raseri. Now, time to interview their opening band for the coming tour: Hemorrhoidal Malfunction. Please Welcome Gideon Grey, Travis Dookson, and James McMarmot.

Gideon: "Heh-heh and then the lord said BLEGH!"

Travis: "BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

James: "Sup"

Bennie: "So, how does it feel being the opening band on Pels Raseri's upcoming tour?"

Gideon: "Well, I've met Alister a few times as well as some of his bandmates. Both of us attended a meeting with The Basement. It is such an honor that they got us as the opener on this huge tour."

Travis: "We are gonna bring slam to the masses. I've met Alister and crew a few times as well, sometimes sober, and sometimes when I was extremely drunk. This will FUCKING RIP!"

James: "It's like full circle. I was Alister's childhood friend. We grew up together in Muskegon. Five years ago, I moved to Bunnyburrow and he moved to Zootopia. Once I found out about how he was going to save the world, I was completely astounded."

Bennie: "So, what got all of you the idea form a slam band."

Travis: "Well, as you know, I formed the butt-rock band Stuckd back in 2006 and released one hit called "Alone Without You". It charted number one and remained on the chart for weeks on end. Even Kidz Bop covered it. None of my other songs ever had success and I became a drunk wash-up. Last year, I invaded an Alestorm concert drunkenly to brag about how good my band was. Once I got escorted, I knew I had to do something else. I broke up Stuckd (I was the only member anyways) and pinged my boyfriend Gideon Grey, asking him if he wanted to form a band."

Gideon: "I had been listening to a lot of Slam metal as of late and messaged Travis telling him that it was what we should play. He had no idea what it was, but he loved it as well. Once we started practicing together, we realized we needed a bass player."

James: "I saw a flyer advertising for bass players for a slam metal band and immediately got at it."

Bennie: "You're not really well known, but many have mentioned your gross band name, and even grosser song names. How do you feel about it?"

Gideon: "I mean come the fuck on, it's slam metal. All the song names and band names are supposed to make you want to vomit. I mean, we got songs called "All-out complete intestinal defecation of the Cranium", "Urethral Vomititis Fetishization", "Avian Urinary Consumption", "Fossilized Nocturnal Ejaculation", and, my favorite, "Orgasmic Church Arsonization for Piratical Poo-Poo Pee-Pee Porta Potty Presentation."

Travis: "Yes, we got some funny song names. Plus I love all the samples we got as well, from sampling this 'poop song', as well as some Peppa Pig episodes and some random meme samples as well."

James: "I participate in this as well. We all crack each other up with what we come up with."

Bennie: "So, you released your first album, entitled Slamelot, about two months ago. It didn't really chart well. How do you feel about it?"

Gideon: "What the hell do you expect, it's slam metal."

Travis: "It's our first release and we play an extremely obscure genre. We got a pretty underground following."

James: "I don't mind it at all. We never meant for this band to become big anyways."

Bennie: "So, now that we know a bit about your band, tell us a bit about yourselves?"

Gideon: "Well, I was born in 1986 in Bunnyburrow. I'm nearly 35 now. I had this weird thing against prey species back when I was younger but eventually grew out of it. I became a baker and worked with the Hopps family farm. About ten years ago, I discovered slam metal, and loved it. Last fall, I called upon Travis to form this band, and we also are engaged now. Pels Raseri will play our wedding. I first met Alister last fall with The Basement,

Travis: "I was also born 1986 in Bunnyburrow. I'm 34 right now. I have been friends with Gideon since elementary school and also had that weird thing against prey species but also grew out of it. I formed Stuckd back in 2006, had one hit, but disbanded last year. I met Alister drunkenly at an Alestorm concert last fall, but did soberly two weeks later under Aires' rule. We fought in the Battle of Savanna Central because we were members of The Basement and nearly died."

James: "I was born in 2002 in Muskegon. I'm 18 now. I was childhood friends with Alister but moved to Bunnyburrow in 2016, the same time he moved to Zootopia. I listened to a lot of extreme metal throughout high school and eventually got recruited for this band. Plus, my brother, Kyle, is the manager."

Bennie: "Favorite bands?"

Gideon: "Vulvodynia. No question."

Travis: "Probably Ingested or Acrania."

James: "Always going to be The Lynx Ten Seconds Of Life."

Bennie: "Best concert. GO!"

Gideon: "The Vulvodynia/Acrania double bill the other day at The Cupboard in Zootopia."

Travis: "Last year's Summer Otter tour, the Bunnyburrow stop."

James: "Probably that time I went to Baltimore to see Maryland Deathfest."

Bennie: "Anything else you want to tell us?"

Gideon: "Well, I got the entire Hopps family into slam metal. They were reluctant at first."

Travis: "I've been taking some screaming lessons, so I don't damage my voice on the upcoming tour. I threw my back out as well but have since recovered."

James: "Sometimes I find it weird playing in a band with two thirty-somethings, but hey, they act much younger than they are. And that is a good thing."

Bennie: "Well, it's been such an honor to have you out today. We'll see you on tour."

Travis: "See ya too. Adios!"

Gideon: "Mic drop!"

James: "Bye-bye-bye!"