The Reunion

Sansa's POV:

As Sansa, Brienne and Pod walked into the square of Castle Black, the whole of Night's watch and the Wildlings stared at them with suspicion and bewilderment. Sansa might've noticed that bit if she wasn't so focused on finding one person among these sorry lots. Recognizing one of the Wildlings, the one with red shaggy hair who's been staring at us for nearly the whole time we arrived here. She immediately glanced away at him to continue for her search when finally she noticed… Father? The man who captivated her stood on top of a staircase returning her gaze.

No, it's Jon. Father's dead, Joffrey made sure I saw his staked head in King's Landing. He looks exactly like him, but not as broad in width yet. After a moment, Jon stepped down the staircase slowly also in disbelief, and I reciprocated dismounting my horse to meet him halfway. Finally, Starks reunite once more. I couldn't hold my breath properly until finally I lunged and held him to me. I don't know if he's relieved or disappointed that it was me out of all our family but Jon… I swear I'll be different this time, don't leave me… I continued to hold onto him just savoring the feeling of being safe for the first time in a loong time. Just let me stay here.

Until Jon broke the moment and whispered to me. "Come inside, it's cold out." I nodded into his shoulder, still not letting go of him. Tears and all of my heartbreak was about to burst. I didn't care if anyone saw me right now but I'm just so glad.

Sensing my breakdown, Jon finally broke my embrace and held onto my hand and led me up the staircase. I couldn't really tell where we're going until finally I'm warmed and seated somewhere, and Jon tenderly handed me a bowl of something. Reminding me that I haven't eaten since midday yesterday.

I slowly sipped the warm soup. I can feel my belly warm up and my tongue dying from the taste. But I continued sipping, thinking of what to say to him. I glanced towards him over my bowl and saw him just staring at the hearth, I looked towards it. There was something moving in the flames, I blinked and just saw normal flames again. I'm just tired and now I'm seeing things. It was finally too quiet for me.

… "Good soup…" I looked towards him and saw him smiling and I quickly looked down. Where are my courtesies? After all this time and all I could say to him is that. Suddenly, memories of eating a good hot Kidney pie in the great hall of Winterfell came to me.

"Do you remember those Kidney pies Old Nan used to make?" I glanced towards him for a response.

"The ones with the peas and unions." Was that what was in those pies? I don't quite remember and just nodded along in agreement.

We were about to fall into silence again until Jon added. "We never should've left Winterfell." Jon how I wish that was the case.

"Don't you wish we could go back to the day we left?" I told him the question that's been in my prayers for years. "I want to scream at myself, don't go, you idiot." it's my fault Father died, Jon. Hate me please, I don't deserve-" Jon interrupted my thoughts

"How could we know?" That stomped me but I wanted to remind him what an ass I was, that everything that ever happened to our family is my fault. I should've obeyed Father, should've protected Arya and I should've been nicer to you.

"I spent a lot of time thinking of how awful I was to you." I paused and thought of what to say to make him forgive me. "I wish I could change everything-"

Jon spoke over and said, "We were children." I know Jon but still.

"I was awful, just admit it." Don't dismiss this please. I didn't realize I was smiling already, just how desperate am I to redeem myself to him?

"You were occasionally awful," he chuckled. NO, I was awful dammit. Then he continued "I'm sure I can't have been…" I tuned him out and I just wanted him to see my faults and blame me. But he just smiles at me.

"Can you forgive me?" I know this is a small thing to ask for forgiveness but if he forgives me for this small thing then I hope he can forgive me for all the rest.

"There's nothing to forgive-"

"Forgive me" Before I knew it my face started to hurt for smiling this long. This wasn't about repenting anymore, and this feeling of being welcomed and at home is so… joyful.

Jon finally concedes and admits that I was awful. "Alright, alright… I forgive you." as he finally managed to get it out between his manly giggles. I couldn't hold in my giggles anymore and I released it. When was the last time I ever giggled? How could this stranger just forgive my years of neglect and find it in his heart to make me laugh?

I gestured towards his ale, silently asking for something to wash down the horrid soup. After a poor attempt of my consumption of ale and Jon saying something about how horrible the ale that Night's watch has.

I asked him, "Where will you go?" finally getting my composure back

He countered, "Where will we go?" that made me happy, to finally have someone that wants to protect me for me. "If I don't watch over you? Father's ghost will come back and murder me." you'll do it only because it's your duty? You are our father's son. I should've known.

Then I repeated what he said, " Where we'll we go?" Then Jon briefly explained what happened to him and why he couldn't stay here. Well, I wasn't planning on staying here and hiding from Ramsay forever, we'll have to bring the fight to him and return Winterfell to my family.

"Then there's only one place we can go," We shared a look at each other and then I finished "home." Jon replied with rhetoric and that irritated.

"We'll take it back from them." I tried to stare him down into agreeing with me. I took a breath and said.

"I don't have an army." that reminded of the oddity that Jon saved the wildlings.

"How many wildlings did you save?" I asked him, pressing him into seeing my way. I can see his honor from a league away. And quickly told him. "They owe you their lives." I drawed out the sentence and added. "Do you think I'll be safe if Ram- Roose Bolton remains Warden of the North?" leaning to his feelings of duty towards me. "Winterfell is our home, it's ours. It belongs to our family, We have to fight for it-"

Suddenly Jon turned towards me and raised his voice. "I'm tired of fighting, It's all I've done since I left home and I've killed men of Night's watch and men of the Free Folk." I could see that Jon also has his nightmare. "I hanged a boy younger than Bran!" if he tried to murder you then let him hang, Jon. There's no guilt to be had there. He paused and composed himself. "I fought and I lost." his voice rasped towards the end.

But Jon I've also been beaten and violated. I wanted to say that to him but I won't let what that monster did to me be known. Begone and be forgotten. I closed the distance between us and simply said. "If we don't take back the North we'll never be safe." Then I stopped and stared at him in the eyes and pleaded. "I want you to help me but I'll do it myself if I have to."

Then I left to go look for Brienne and get her help to find me a room. I don't want to be with Jon for now. Jon will help me. He has to.