CHAPTER 2:

The next few days were filled with complete misery. The funeral was the worst by far, seeing Helga in a coffin like that was just unbearable. It was a closed casket too, they thought it'd be inappropriate to show Helga's family and loved ones what her face and body have become, and I can't say that they're wrong there. I still can't get her last moments out of my head.

Perhaps the worst thing about the funeral, outside of the thought of Helga itself, was Olga. I don't think I've ever seen a person so distraught, even compared to myself. She would completely collapse to the ground when Helga's coffin was lowered, as did I. I threw my hat on the coffin before it descended and officially got buried.

Phoebe and Gerald were trying to help me get through this, but I can tell that Phoebe was barely hanging on by a thread. Not only did I lose the girl I loved, but she lost her best friend, Olga lost her sister.

And yet, despite this, Big Bob Pataki, throughout the whole thing had a straight face, void of any emotion. Maybe it's his way of grieving his youngest daughter's death, but that doesn't make me any less angry at how he was handling things.

The next days were filled with pure misery. Thinking about my parents when I was an orphan was absolutely nothing in comparison to this. I couldn't go a second without missing her. Every time I think about Helga I feel an incredible amount of grief to the point where I feel sick. I've puked up to 4 times a day, sometimes blood due to the lack of food in my system.

Eating gives me memories of her, of our dates. In class, I'd flinch in hope, just in the idea that she might throw a spitball at me. And when it doesn't come and I look back to her dusty, empty seat, I just get reminded of the horrible confirmation that she isn't here anymore.

Mom was trying to help me through this, but I honestly don't know how. I can see she's just looking out for me and she's worried but, it's been too painful to even let anyone help.

Dad was also trying to help, although I appreciate him trying to take my mind off of things, it's not exactly helping me either. I can't blame him and I guess it's difficult seeing your only kid losing sleep, losing weight, losing his spirit, seeing him have sunken eyes from crying every time I was left alone.

Grandpa and Grandma were the only ones who knew what I was going through, having believed that their only son and daughter-in-law was missing and most likely dead in San Lorenzo. They said that they'll be here for me when I'm ready to be helped, for now they'll just let me grieve. I'm thankful for everyone for trying to help. It's just too painful to think that I do, it just wasn't fair. Why hadn't it been me, why did she have to stand in the middle of the road, and why did I tell her to stay there. She has, had, so much more to give, so much more to offer and now it's just gone, it's such a cruel thing to have taken her when she wasn't ready, and in such a disrespectful manner too. Helga G. Pataki, this world needed you but, I needed you the most.

I've been dwelling on my own depression that I didn't even notice Phoebe was probably going through the same amount of pain that I am. You can see it in her eyes that she's trying to hold back and be strong and not worry Gerald. She has every right to be upset as much as anyone else. That was her best friend, and she had to plan her funeral plans, and she had to notify everyone. The Pataki's would have done it but Phoebe insisted she do it, she figured that Olga would ruin it and Helga would haunt them all.

But also I think it was just Phoebe's way of saying good bye and doing her last task as Helga's "assistant". I can't even begin to try to understand what she's going through, sure she is, was, the love of my life, but she was Phoebe's best friend for over 10 years, almost as long as me and Gerald, If anyone could console her, it's him. Meanwhile, I'm still wallowing, I can't even begin to think about confronting her death. I don't want to, it's not real, it didn't happen.

Now, I layed on my bed like most days, pondering. Just thinking. All of my thoughts were, of course, on Helga. I wondered; was this all my fault? I'm the one who left her on the street just to put away some stupid mail. Besides, if it wasn't for me, none of this would've happened! We never would've been on that street, at that time! The guilt made me nauseous once again as I sprinted out of my room and to the bathroom to puke for the 3rd time today. As I wiped my hands and mouth and went back to my room, I heard a sudden knock on the door.

I sighed, "Come in, mom."

"How'd you know it was me?"

"You're the one who only knocks instead of yelling 'I'm going in!'."

"Oh, well, how are you honey, do you want something to eat, I can make your favorite, or we just talk about how you've been feeling…Arnold—where's your hat?" she asked, "With Helga." I replied in a low voice. My mom raised an eyebrow at this, "With Helga…?" she asked, very confused. I sighed, "I thought I should give a piece of me to her, she's always liked my tiny hat." Her face softened as soon as I felt tears leak down my cheeks, "Mom, I just want to be alone for now, and I'm not feeling hungry but thank you.", I turned to look at her trying to convince her that I'm fine. "I'm feeling tired so I should take a nap, love you mom."

"Okay sweetie, I'm here if you need anything" She pulled my sheets over me and kissed my forehead, "I'll be downstairs with the boarders, sleep well." I watched walk down the stairs from my room and join the rest of the boarders down stairs, as soon as the door was shut I could hear all of them ask if I was doing okay, mom said that I was sleeping so they should all shut up. I smiled a little, that's something Helga would say.

However, just a second later, my mind settled. I was alone again. I tried closing my eyes and falling asleep, although not being tired. I couldn't at all, and I sat up and bashed my forehead against the wall. I wanted to go to sleep! I began repeatedly hitting the wall, however now with my fists. In just a few seconds, I was doing karate moves on my own wall, "WHY HER?!" I yelled, tears flying everywhere, "WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN ME?!"

I then stopped for a second and looked down, my knuckles were pouring out blood. I whimpered at the sight, now completely out of energy. Whimpering, I laid on my back before sleep finally overtook me.

I felt my eyes open again, it felt serene. like being in a meadow on a summer day with a cool breeze, it's been a while since i've felt any sort of relaxation.

"nold…"

I heard a voice that sounded familiar.

"Arnold~"

There it goes again!

"Hey Arnold!"

Helga?!

I turned my head to see her, it was actually her! she's right there next to me, with the same fire in her eyes, she looked like she was expecting an answer from me. "H-hi Helga," I said, looking at my oddly faced girlfriend, "I'm so happy to see you again!" Helga looked at me weirdly, staring me down as our surroundings altered. Now we were in the graveyard. Her eyes widened when she looked at a tombstone:

Here Lies

HELGA GERALDINE PATAKI

March 26th, 1987-May 14th, 1999

"W-wait," she stammered, and my lovesick gaze slowly drifted away, "w-what's going on?! Why is this here?! I'm alive!"

"What?"

I was also feeling confused, why was I here, she's right there, I can feel her body warmth, is this a nightmare? "Arnold! Why is there a grave with my name on it, and why is my middle name on it?"

"H-hel-, wait! What?! What's going on?!" I was so confused! What is going on?! Why is she being so weird?

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

First of all, HUGE thanks to the co-author of this story, celestial_lore on AO3!

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!