The waves rush past us as Graf Zeppelin's hull cuts through the water. The sound of water lapping against her hull was almost therapeutic, calming even. Graf Zeppelin's flight deck was completely empty except for the Kansen herself who stands up on her bow with her rigging extended. She looks cautiously from side to side, making sure there are no unwanted guests as we travel across the ocean.

There are three tugboats out in front of us with their cables attached to her hull, pulling with all their might to keep the ship moving. Graf Zeppelin enjoyed the illusion of being under her own power from the top of the flight deck. However, we are moving quite slowly so her hair and jacket only billow back in a strong gust of wind.

I approach her, making my presence known so that I don't scare her. Something I learned to do the hard way. She acknowledges my presence but says little else as I stand beside her, looking out over the vast waters of the Baltic Sea.

"Ah. So sweet, is it not?" Before I can respond she interrupts me. "Sweet things cannot last, the only thing that endures is hatred…"

I expect such a response. "I'm not telling you to change, but there is an abundance of hate in you. I understand where it comes from but it's moments like this that we humans live for."

"Your race divulges itself in pleasure and war. The two should never mix."

"That is very true." I wholeheartedly agree.

Over the past month, my curiosity had been killing me. I wanted to know exactly what had happened that caused her to be like this. Being serious seemed to be a common trait in Iron Blood ships but each one of them still could act with compassion. Graf Zeppelin seems to have lost all of her human emotions long ago and now all that remains is hatred. She rarely smiles, she is always taking things too seriously, she doesn't know how to relax.

I think that was my main objective. I wanted to see her relax. I can see all the weight she was carrying on her shoulder and wanted to help lift that for a moment at least. However, everytime I tried I was met with the same harsh reaction.

Graf Zeppelin strokes her fingers through her long hair and throws it to the side as we stand in silence, watching the Baltic sea pass us by. This may be the only time she ever gets to sail across open waters. It was a sad truth that made a pit in my stomach.

We had been ordered to move Graf Zeppelin from her moors at Kiel to Gotenhafen, closer to the Northern Parliament whom we held a steady truce with. Graf Zeppelin takes in her surroundings quite diligently as she gets a glimpse of what could have been. She sighs audibly.

"Perhaps I should give it more thought. The ocean is quite… less spiteful. It kills indiscriminately, but it also provides for all life. It is playing God."

I nod in agreement without saying a word, allowing her pink eyes to flash towards me for just a second. "I wish you could have experienced your first ocean under your own power. Even in a mass produced ship, I could feel the engines churn in the water. This, this is unfair to you."

"You are far too kind for your own good, commander. If you only worry about others then who will worry about yourself."

"I am aware of the consequences my livelihood may have. That does not change what I say though. If all I do is worry about consequences, then I would have never gotten out of bed one day and decided to become an officer."

"A fine way to live. I am envious of what you have."

The wind picks up just for a moment to blow her white hair behind her. It also flings her cap behind her into the wind. I quickly grab it before it can go overboard. I rarely see the top of her snow white hair as she constantly kept it covered by the cap. However, it was honestly embarrassing to see it for both of us. I hand her cap back without trying to make my embarrassment obvious. She takes it back timidly.

She places it back on her head and turns her attention back towards the ocean.

"Do not be envious of me. Despite what you have been through, you are still here. Even without proving it to me specifically, you are the strongest person I've ever met."

Graf Zeppelin seems to ponder that line in her head for a moment as I keep all my attention towards the sea.

"I am jealous of your seriousness. I wish I could take everything as seriously as you sometimes." I sit down on the flight deck.

"But I would also miss my own personality. It's best to keep what you have and do what you are good at other than wishing for someone else's talents."

"I did not think of you as wise, commander."

"I would hardly call myself wise. I just have more experience with emotions."

Graf Zeppelin sits down on the ground, putting away her rigging after petting her two sharks. She sits across from me, her black tights inches away from my own pants as she leans in at attention.

"Commander, I would like to familiarize myself with the human ability of emotions."

"You're expressing one right now."

"What do you mean?" She says leaning in closer.

"The emotion of curiosity. You wish to learn more about something that you do not understand. That is an emotion we have labeled 'curiosity'."

"Intriguing. Then what other emotions are there?"

"There are countless emotions, one for everything that makes you feel a certain way. Your hatred of my species for example. You have encountered a displeasing experience and have associated the emotion of anger to it."

Graf Zeppelin remains silent.

"Happiness for example is something that brings you joy or satisfaction. Like seeing those who mistreated you lay to waste. That would be something that brings you happiness."

"And what if I don't?"

"Then I imagine you would feel anger or regret."

"What is regret?"

I think for a second, trying to think of a definition for regret she might understand without looking into her piercing pink eyes. She stares at me like a little kid might at a teacher who has been just asked a difficult question that they desperately want to know the answer to.

"Regret is the feeling that you get when you truly wish you hadn't done something or said something. It is usually followed after an argument or great change that you wish you could go back and repeat over for a different result."

"Regret… so there is a word for it."

I pretend I didn't hear her say that and move on.

"What else would you like to know about emotion?"

"How can I-... How can I get better at expressing it. F-for scientific reasons."

I try to hide my smirk forming at my mouth at her cute display of emotion.

"Try to talk more, the more you talk the more you will put emotion into your voice. It just happens naturally. It may also happen when you see something truly magnificent and think, 'wow. That's amazing…'."

Graf Zeppelin nods seriously. Obviously going to attempt this down to the letter. She stands back up just as her stomach growls. Graf Zeppelin pokes her stomach and turns to me.

"I thought Kansen didn't get hungry." I muse.

"We don't. It just wants something tasty."

"I see, well I can find something to make."

I get up on my own and head back down into Graf Zeppelin's hull as her Kansen follows just behind me at a respectable distance.

The port of Gotenhafen was quite a bit more dirty than Kiel. It was hastily made and had few patches of grass that weren't dead or dying. The smog in the air is almost sickening as we pull in, the tug boats stopping Graf Zeppelin's hull just before it hits the end of the dock.

Graf Zeppelin herself was not too eager to get off of her vessel as we are greeted by the dockmasters.

"Mówisz po polsku?"

"I-I'm sorry?"

"Co to jest? Język angielski?"

"Uhm. I don't speak polish."

"Świetny inny Niemiec"

Graf Zeppelin raises her chin and peers down upon the dockmaster with her pink eyes, the two of us were much taller than him.

"Nie traktuj go w ten sposób, bo nakarmię cię moimi rekinami" Graf Zeppelin says, her voice coming out far more deadly than I'm sure she was meaning to. Probably.

The dockmaster jumps at the armored carrier's retort, not that I could understand it. Graf Zeppelin puts one leg forward as if to prove a point. It causes the dockmaster to flinch.

"Proszę, spójrz na mnie uważnie, nie chcę zobaczyć ani jednej rysy."

"T-Tak proszę pani."

The dockmaster scurries up the stairs connecting the Graf Zeppelin to the port. I look back at her after he passes.

"I didn't know you could speak Polish?"

"Violence is a universal language." She pauses for a moment before turning towards the city. "Come, commander. I do not like the way he looks at me…"

She storms off of her hull and onto the busy street below. I follow just behind her, trying to keep up with her fast steps.

"Wait up! Where are we going?" I shout at her to be overheard in the crowd.

"Someplace with less people, I cannot stand this noise."

I did not think her to be so bold, however I knew she was not thinking what I was. I shame myself for thinking such thoughts as Graf Zeppelin grabs my hand and forces me through the crowd. Her grip is strong and dominant but it does eventually help me find my way out. She stops abruptly, causing me to run into her back.

I accidentally grab her stomach in an attempt to prevent myself from falling. She does not seem nearly as embarrassed by this as I do. I slowly get off of her, allowing the beautiful carrier to turn around and face me.

"I would like to go shopping."

I blink a few times in surprise. That was the last thing I was expecting to hear from her.

"I want to see what it is like and just what about it you humans find so attractive."

"I-If you say so. You might stand out a little though."

"That is fine."

I debate what she means in my head. However that debate soon turns into a new one as I try to find a good place to shop for anything around here.

"W-what do you want to shop for?"

"Anything you would normally shop for. I just want to witness it."

A weird request, but one I am fine with. If she wishes to learn more about human culture than who am I to turn down her request.

"Well we should buy food last because it will go bad faster if I don't immediately put it into a fridge. I suggest we go buy some clothing for you. You need something other than that uniform."

"What is wrong with my uniform?"

"Nothing, it looks great. But wearing it around all day has got to be hard enough. What happens when you need to wash it? I can't have you walking around the carrier naked."

"I see your point. I will accompany you in 'clothes shopping'."

I was unaware of how few shops that sold clothing were in port towns. I thought this may be the one place where it is possible to find them but after an hour of searching I was proven wrong time and time again. Graf Zeppelin did not complain, she only stood a few feet away from me silently watching the comings and goings of random people.

Finally, I find one. But it is not exactly the kind I was looking for. Graf Zeppelin walks in without hesitation and quickly walks back out with a red flush on her face.

"I-I-I see. I had no idea you were quite so brave, commander. As expected of my commander..."

"You've got the wrong idea! I didn't notice it till it was too late!"

Across the street was a more 'friendly' looking clothing store that sold more traditional clothing. We walk in together and immediately begin trying to find something for her to wear while we are not doing anything except staying docked in the harbor.

"What do you think of this?" I grab a dark black undershirt off of the wrack. Graf Zeppelin immediately begins stripping, much to my surprise.

"W-w-what are you doing?!"

"Do not worry, my perverted commander. I am simply just wishing to try the clothing on before purchasing it." She says with a hint of annoyance in her voice at my obvious reaction to seeing her strip.

Graf Zeppelin stops just before revealing what was underneath her white lace bra. I had never seen her skin before, apart from the grotesque amount of cleavage she was showing and her stunningly monotone face. Her stomach was not as solid as I was expecting from a fit aircraft carrier. In fact, I can see the result of my cooking on her body as I stare. My eyes shoot immediately back up to hers as she pulls the back shirt down over her body.

She turns around to examine the black shirt which fits tightly against her body. So tightly in fact, I can see two little bumps at the end of her breasts even with her bra in the way between the fabric and her plump skin. I turn away both out of respect and embarrassment. It is immediately after I do so that I hear fabric ripping. I turn back to see her once again barely clothed body and two pieces of the black shirt in her hands.

"I-I'm not really that fat, am I?" She asks herself.

"Of course not, you're just a little… big around your chest. Perhaps we can find a better fit. Just as soon as I pay for this."

I slide the payment to the worker across the counter who seems more asleep than awake. I return to find Graf Zeppelin in a white blouse and black skirt. She still wore her tights, hiding her legs from view but she looked amazing. My heart skips a beat as I look at her just one more time before meeting her eyes with a smile.

"It looks great."

She gains a light hue to her cheeks as we pay for her clothing. We exit the store and both avoid our glances at the other one across the street.

"Thank you, commander. But I do not feel like I fit in with your kind in this kind of outfit."

"It is alright, You looked pretty out of place in your uniform too." I laugh.

"I do not look like any of the women of your population."

"That is because you're not like any of the other women. You're Graf Zeppelin, the mightiest carrier in the Iron Blood Navy."

"That's because I'm the only one."

"Even less competition for that spot then."

Graf Zeppelin rolls her eyes and follows me as I go to buy some food.

"Thank you for the meal, commander."

"It was my pleasure, Graf Zeppelin."

We had just finished another satisfying meal, however we ate on top of her flight deck, dangling our legs off of the very edge of it. Graf Zeppelin up until the moment she spoke had focused all of her attention on eating and none of it on small talk. This had become routine, we would chat, eat, and then sleep after the sun went down.

We lost our ability to use the cafeteria long ago as Graf Zeppelin has become a storage vessel for the reich's lumber. Something Graf Zeppelin was not too happy about. Nothing had changed in our routine for almost half a year. Graf Zeppelin would always wear the same expression and I would continue to feed her and stand next to her as she looks out across the horizon in hatred.

It was cold, beyond freezing in fact. I had bought winter clothing while we were in town earlier that day because I knew it was going to be below freezing for the next few months. Graf Zeppelin however was still shivering as the hot soup dries up in the bowl.

I take my winter jacket and wrap it around her, causing her to sigh out in relief for a brief moment. I knew I didn't have much time before the winter winds would take me, so I try to strike up the last conversation of the night.

"It's beautiful."

I lay down on her flight deck and look up at the bright stars in the sky. There was no moon and the light pollution was kept to a minimum as everyone saved their electricity for the heat. You could see the very edges of the galaxy from right here.

Graf Zeppelin does not respond, she only digs her head into the warm interior of my winter coat. I chuckle slightly as she too soon finds herself on the deck of her carrier, looking up into the sky.

"Tell me, commander. Do you believe in gods?"

"I suppose it wouldn't surprise me if there is one." I had gotten quite used to her random questions.

"I do. I believe he laughs at me from his chair wherever he is. Even now, he laughs at me as I try to find the same beauty you see in the stars…"

"Graf…"

She does not react to me using her nickname this time, only breathing shakily.

"I wish to see them closer. If I could reach out and grasp the night sky in my hand, maybe then I could finally see the beauty in them. But who am I kidding other than myself."

"What do you find beautiful, Graf?" I have begun to shake from the cold.

"Nothing… I hate everything that this world has to offer. My heart is colder than the temperature outside. I hate this town, I hate these clothes, and I especially hate the stars. They mock me with their brilliance, their own radiant light casting down on the layer of darkness which surrounds me. They mock me as if to say I will never be as bright as them. They selfishly take up the night sky just for that reason…"

"Well I-I f-f-find you beautiful, G-Graf."

Graf turns over on her back to look at me.

"Wh-what?"

"You remind me of t-the stars in the sky. Shining brightly despite their constant black surroundings. Even if you don't shine brighter than those stars in the night sky, you have always been a star right here on Earth. P-perhaps I'm saying all of these embarrassing things because it's so cold out. P-please just ignore me…"

"I don't hate you, Adol."

"Don't try to force it for me, I'm going inside before I freeze to death. I'll see you tomorrow."

I get up and walk into the island, immediately relieved by the lack of winter winds and the warm interior. I watch Graf Zeppelin speak to herself through an icy window in the island. I grab one last bowl of soup and place it in Graf Zeppelin's room before turning in for the night.

At this point, I can't call what I'm experiencing as love. It's just the feeling of needing to protect something I hold dear to me. I guess it could be considered the love a mother has for her children, but I also feel that isn't right. It could just be sympathy, something I could never hope to understand. I only wish the best for Graf Zeppelin. I cannot even begin to fathom how much meaning was behind her words, "I don't hate you."

I stare up at my ceiling in my bed and hope an answer will come to me as I lie there. I close my eyes and fall asleep as I feel them getting heavier and heavier.

…

When I wake the next morning, I find my jacket back in my drawer. I put it on and it smells like Graf Zeppelin. I sigh as I make my way out the door. Polish winters are hard, especially on an aircraft carrier without heating. We had to spend as little time outside as possible to remain warm. While Graf Zeppelin could stay in the cold for far much longer than I could, she was not immune to the effects of it.

I had an idea. The officer's building was heated, I could take Graf Zeppelin and head there while getting some work done in the process. I knock on Graf Zeppelin's door.

"H-hey, Graf Zeppelin. I am going to the officer's building. It's heated a-and I'm sure the others won't mind if you tag along. It's getting too cold to stay in the carrier anymore…"

Graf Zeppelin unlocks her door and exits, slowly closing the door behind her. She wears her uniform. Even after I bought her some more clothing, she still would wear the hot uniform. Not that I mind, she has the perfect figure to make it work.

"Y-yes. Let us go. It is getting much colder in here."

As cold as it is inside the carrier, it is much colder outside as a thick layer of snow has accumulated on Graf Zeppelin's flight deck. We slowly trudge through the snow, sticking close to each other for the extra warmth. It is not a long distance to the officer's building which may have saved our lives as we collapse to the ground when we arrive, our feet completely soaked and every part of our bodies freezing.

I help Graf Zeppelin back up and head into my office where I take off my boots and socks and lay them on the radiator. I stick closely by the radiator and warm my hands over them as I feel the cold melt away.

Graf Zeppelin has other plans as she begins to take off her tights. A process which I cannot help but be drawn to. Her perfect legs were finally unveiled as she slips her tights off slowly and lays them on the radiator. She sighs as the warmth of the radiator also warms her as well. She catches me staring at her legs.

"Be careful where you stare, commander." She says seriously.

"Yes of course, my bad." I say composing myself.

Though it could have just been my imagination again, I swear I see Graf Zeppelin's face turn red for a moment before immediately turning back to her usual self. She continually tries to cover her legs with her hands as she dries her tights over the radiator. She is obviously self conscious about them. In reality, they were beautiful legs. I wish she would show them more often but that would lead to me being distracted far more often.

She stares at me again, shooting daggers into me as I attempt to stare at her legs once more. I could not help myself, my eyes were naturally drawn to them.

"Next time you do it, I shall grant you a despair worse than death."

"Y-yes, sorry Ma'am."

My eyes remain above waist level for the rest of the time she warms her tights. Having Graf Zeppelin barefoot, walking around the office was far more distracting than I thought it would be. As I sit down to try and accomplish some work, she comes up to my desk and sits down upon it. She grabs a file from the pile and reads over it.

"Administration of oil to fleet reserves. Interesting. Just sign here, commander." She hands me the paper after having read through the entire thing in only a couple of seconds.

"I'm impressed, Graf. You read the entire thing?"

"C-could you stop calling me Graf. I-it's embarrassing." I'm sure it was a real blush this time.

"O-oh. Right, sorry. Graf Zeppelin?"

"Yes, I have. I have made judgements of your character to deduce that this may be something you would sign."

I read through the document and shake my head yes.

"That's impressive, Graf Zeppelin. Could you do that with all of my papers? That would make this go by so much faster."

"Of course."

And so, we began our daily occurrence of signing papers. She would read them and decide on what was best for the fleet, only counseling me if it were absolutely necessary. With this strategy, we got work done five times faster and allowed for more time to be allocated elsewhere.

The more we worked, the better reward Graf Zeppelin would receive. Usually in the currency of food. However, as Spring comes around once again, she gave me a weird request.

"You want me to choose?"

"Indeed. You have always been asking me what I want but I have never asked you what you want."

True to what I had said, Graf Zeppelin was beginning to put more emotion into the way she spoke. She still held the same disdain for the world but at least I could hear her attempt to put some emotion in the way she speaks.

"That's because I would much rather see you enjoying yourself than indulging me in something I want to do."

"As your secretary, I demand that you put that insipid sentiment aside and treat yourself. You have been overworking yourself lately."

"I-If I have to."

Graf Zeppelin nods.

I had never tried Pierogi before and I had no idea what I had been missing out on. At first I thought it was a dumpling but it was so much more. At first, they taste just like any regular dumplings. But then when you bite into them it's like an explosion of flavor happening inside of your mouth. I had eaten the entire plate just as soon as Graf Zeppelin was finishing hers. We both sigh in relief at the same time.

"Thank you Graf Zeppelin. This was definitely worth the trip out here for."

"G-Graf is just fine."

My eyebrows perk up in surprise. "But I thought you said you didn't want me calling you by that name."

"That was then and this is now. But I will only allow you to call me by my first name if I can call you by your first name."

"That seems like a fair deal. What brought this on all of a sudden?"

"It's just far easier to say half of my name instead of the entire thing. Just like it's easier to say… A-Adol instead of Commander."

It did not seem like it was easier with how she struggled to say it. We sit in silence, as is quite usual, for a much shorter period of time than usual however. Graf Zeppelin is the one to strike up conversation first.

"Have you received any more news on the condition of my construction?" I can almost hear the hope in her voice. I cannot bear to look her in the eyes as I say my piece.

"N-no. I'm sorry I haven't. It seems like your construction is still paused…"

Graf Zeppelin bows her head. I dare not assume as to what emotion it was associated with. However I felt terrible for her. I decide to do something that can potentially be enough cause to shear my hand clean off. I take off Graf Zeppelin's cap and pat her snow white head. To my surprise, she doesn't seem to mind. Perhaps it had something to do with the meal we had just eaten together or the fact we were out in public for everyone to see.

I remember the second fact far too late to save my pride as I quickly attracted the attention of everyone in the restaurant. Graf Zeppelin clenches her fists together and bows her head even deeper to hide the great blush on her face. I slowly remove my hand from her head and snuggly place her cap back on.

"S-sorry. I just thought…"

"Do not worry commander… I-it was a nice gesture."

I'm just about to speak up when an officer comes charging through the door, running up to me and saluting.

"Sir! Urgent message!"

I salute back cautiously. Hoping and praying that he had not seen my interaction with Graf Zeppelin just moments earlier.

"What is it?"

"You have new direct orders to leave base Immediately. Further information will be presented to you in a more private space."

Murmurs rise among the diners at the restaurant. Mostly in Polish, I cannot understand a word they are saying.

"I understand. Come, Graf Zeppelin."

"Yes, Commander."

The three of us walk out into the beautiful springtime weather as the spring winds blow mildly against the trees. We quickly pick up the pace as we feel the urgency of the situation unfold as hundreds of tanks and troops flood the city. They all bear the Iron Cross, signifying they were friendly. That did little to alleviate any stress I have.

"What's going on?!" I shout above the sounds of massive landships crossing our path every couple of seconds.

"The Invasion of the Northern Parliament, that's what!"

"I thought we were in an alliance?!"

"Were being the keyword there. The Führer has just ordered all troops fighting on the western front be moved to the East. It's only a matter of time before this section of Europe erupts in chaos!"

"How can we help my Führer." Graf Zeppelin asks sternly and seriously.

"You are to-" He is cut off by a tank which almost runs him over. They shout at each other for a few seconds before the tank moves off.

"You are to proceed under tug power towards the naval port Stettin. There your construction will begin as proceeded."

Graf Zeppelin almost jumps with joy, you can see it on her monotone face.

"Understood. Let us go, commander. Thank you, officer."

"Of course, good luck!" He jogs away from the group leaving us to dodge and weave between tanks, civilians, and troops.

"Did you hear that, Graf! I told you he wouldn't forget about you!"

Despite her cold expression, her eyes light with passion as she drags me through the crowd.

"The black goat's horn has sounded. Treasure this time to speak with your loved ones, for that time is about to draw to an end." She says passionately.

I successfully break free from her grasp and split off from her to collect the things in my office before climbing aboard the Graf Zeppelin. When I reach her flight deck, the tugs are waiting for me to give the order to take her away. I stare at Graf Zeppelin who gives me the most enthusiastic nod she can muster.

The sounds of tanks still loud enough and large enough for me to see as the entire Iron Blood army speeds through the city with great haste. I look back to find the entire city enveloped by Iron Blood troops as they cross the city to get to the Northern Parliament.

"Take us away." I say into the radio. Immediately, the three tugs begin to take us out and away from the peaceful little town. It wasn't the prettiest town, but we had called her home for almost over a year. I had many memories here and it was almost sad to see it go. Something deep down inside me told me we would be seeing the city again.

Though on very different terms…