I updated this on AO3 on Saturday and apparently just forgot it's on here too so here you go! I've never been to therapy and don't really know how it works so if anyone has any comments or corrections please let me know! Enjoy!

When Will was presented with an Excel spreadsheet full of all the information from the pamphlets Dr. Branwell had given him, he wasn't quite sure how to feel. At first he was angry, but he wasn't angry at Jem for hiding it from him. Instead, he was angry that Jem stayed up late and went through all of that overwhelming information by himself. Immediately after that, he felt bad that Jem felt that he needed to do that for him. Then, finally, he felt relieved that everything had been all sorted out already and all he needed to do was listen to Jem.

Despite that, he found himself doing everything he possibly could to avoid it. Instead of just sitting down at the table with Jem, he went to the bathroom, remade the bed, washed the lunch dishes, made tea, and threw away some old food he found in the fridge while getting milk for the tea. Jem just sat at the table the entire time, patiently waiting and staring and the word "Avoidance" in the symptoms column of the spreadsheet.

Finally, Will handed Jem his cup of tea and sat down in the chair next to his. "Are you ready or did you run out of things to do?" Jem asked.

"Bit of both, I think."

"Is there anything you don't want to talk about?"

Will out his elbows up on the table and rested his chin in his hands. "Not symptoms."

"I'll avoid those, then," Jem said. "So, there's therapy, which you're already in…"

Will had no idea that there were so many different treatments for PTSD until then. The only type of treatment he had ever heard about for PTSD was just plain old therapy, but that was just one possible treatment. There was also cognitive processing therapy, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, which sounded way too complicated to even think about trying, stress inoculation training, and multiple different medications, which included both antipsychotics and antidepressants.

"There's also prolonged exposure therapy," Jem said. "That's where you have to expose yourself to triggers or things you've been avoiding."

"Definitely not that one. I think there would be some ethical issues there."

"Yeah, I think we'll save that one for another day."

Will tried to drink out of the mug that had been empty for almost 15 minutes and sighed. "How many more of these are there?"

Jem scrolled down a bit to check and said, "Just one more. Service dogs."

Will frowned. "I thought they were just for people with disabilities."

"PTSD can usually be considered a disability," Jem said. "They're called psychiatric service dogs."

"What do they do?"

"Whatever the person needs, I guess. They can wake people up from nightmares, stop panic attacks, do deep pressure therapy to lower their heartrate…"

Will shook his head and said, "I don't think it's bad enough for that."

"Dr. Branwell can probably explain all these different treatments better than I can," Jem said as he closed his laptop.

Will leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "If I even do any of them." He had accepted the fact that he had PTSD by now but hearing about all those treatments was just too much. He was just planning on going to therapy for a few weeks, getting some tips from her, and then figuring the rest out by himself. He didn't need anyone else's help and he didn't want people going out of their way to try to help him.

"Can you please just try to do what she says?" Jem asked. He could obviously see how apathetic Will was about the whole idea of treatment. He knew that Jem just wanted him to get better, but he wasn't going to keep going to therapy if it wasn't working.

"We'll see," was all he said.

. .

The rest of the week leading up to Will's second appointment went well, or as well as it could for a person with PTSD. There were some encounters with triggers, but it was nothing too severe and Jem was right there to help. In fact, the whole week went so well that Will was starting to think that he wouldn't even go to his appointment. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on who you asked, that all changed the night before the appointment.

It had been raining all day, which was completely normal for London. There was a thunderstorm on the forecast, but it wasn't supposed to come until just after midnight. They went through the day just fine while the rain pattered against the window, then got ready for bed and read for a bit before going to sleep. For the first time in a while, Will had had a pretty good night's sleep with only one or two nightmares or night terrors. He'd been able to go back to sleep pretty quickly after each one and he was hoping that that night would be even better. He was obviously getting better without any treatment and he was planning on telling Dr. Branwell that the next day so he wouldn't have to come back next week.

Then, three hours later, Will was woken up by a loud clap of thunder.

The light was on and Jem was right there next to him, but he was still absolutely terrified. It got even worse when there was another clap of thunder, even louder than the last one. Had he been facing the window, he might have had a bit of a warning from the flash of lightning, but his back was too it and he didn't know when the next one was coming. They were loud and unexpected and even though the sound was lower pitched and lasted longer, they sounded very similar to gunshots.

And he absolutely hated that sound. Every time he heard it, it meant something bad was coming. Something bad was going to happen to someone and he didn't know if it would be to him or someone else but no matter what he couldn't stop it and couldn't protect them-

The next clap of thunder had him pressing his hands over his ears and curling up as small as he possibly could. Maybe they couldn't get him if he made himself a smaller target, and if he couldn't hear anything then he couldn't hear anything bad happening to others.

But, no matter how hard he pressed, he could still hear the thunder.

. .

Jem was also woken up by the thunder, but his momentary panic immediately faded when he realized that that was all it was. It just sounded like thunder to him, not anything else. It didn't remind him of anything. It was like a jump scare in a movie: he was surprised by the thunder, but now that he knew what it was, he was fine. Unfortunately, he was the only one.

Jem was about to go back to sleep when he felt movement behind him and realized that although he was fine, there was someone that probably wouldn't be. He'd heard about people with PTSD being triggered by thunder because it sounded similar to gunshots or other loud noises. If Will panicked when the kettle whistled or Jem dropped a fork on the floor, he was probably going to panic at the sound of thunder.

Jem turned over to find Will curled up into a ball with his hands over his ears. That in itself was fine and probably a normal position for anyone scared or triggered by thunder, but his hands were also curled almost into fists and he was pulling his hair by doing it. Jem was fine with him trying to cover his ears, but he wasn't fine with Will unintentionally hurting himself in the process.

"Will?" he said. "I'm going to touch you, okay? It's just me."

Jem carefully reached out and touched the back of Will's hand. He hadn't been sure if Will was awake before, so the lack of reaction he got when he touched Will probably meant that he was and that he had heard Jem. Despite that, he still went slowly and carefully watched Will for any sort of reaction. He really didn't want to go out in public the next day with a black eye, so he had to be careful.

He slowly moved his hand up and started to wedge his fingers under Will's, but it wasn't an easy job. Will had quite the grip when he was panicking, so Jem had to really work to get his fingers in there. When he eventually did, he started working on gently prying Will's fingers out of his hair. He was just going one by one and keeping the rest of his hand under the ones he'd already loosened up to keep them away. His progress was almost completely reversed when the thunder sounded again and Will clamped his fingers down over Jem's.

The loss of progress didn't discourage him but instead made him even more determined. Will's grip on his hand was tight, and he could only imagine how painful that same grip would be on his hair. He switched his tactic from one finger at a time to trying to work on all of the fingers at the same time. It was definitely harder, but he made more progress more quickly and by the time he saw lightning flash outside the window again he had replaced Will's hands with his own in a much gentler grip. It was a good thing, too, because that particular clap of thunder was louder than the last one had been and he doubted it would have gone well.

When the sound finally stopped, Jem moved one hand and said, "Can you roll over and face me?"

Will didn't move and Jem thought he'd either fallen asleep or wasn't aware Jem was talking to him, but then he slowly rolled over and resumed his curled-up position, but this time facing Jem. Jem quickly put his hands back over Will's ears before the next flash of lightning came, then realized that Will's eyes were open and he was staring straight at him. Jem smiled and said, "Are you alright?"

The only response he got was Will shaking his head no. Well, at least he's honest this time, Jem thought. The next clap of thunder had Will squeezing his eyes shut and the moment ended. Jem thought for a minute, then reached over and grabbed his phone off of the bedside table. It was fully charged, so he wouldn't have to worry about it dying.

He'd been a little scared of thunderstorms when he was little and hated waking his parents up so often, so instead he would put his hands over his ears and pull the covers over his head. The added barrier of the blankets didn't muffle the sound of the thunder too much, but it was something. He wouldn't be able to completely block the sound, but it wouldn't hurt to try.

Jem turned on the flashlight on his phone and put it face down next to his leg. The placement meant that it wasn't too bright up by their faces, but bright enough that they could avoid what had happened last week with the darkness. He pulled the covers up over their heads and put his hand back over Will's ear, then reached down and pulled up the weather app on his phone. From what the storm looked like on the radar, they were going to be there a while.

The thunder lasted for another hour, but Will didn't fall asleep again for another hour after that. By that time, it was 3:00 in the morning and Jem was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. He hadn't wanted to fall asleep before Will, so when he noticed that Will had relaxed and his breathing had evened out, he gave up the fight and let his eyes close. Will had a tight grip on his shirt even while asleep like Jem was the only real thing in a world of fear. It reminded him of the first night in the hospital, but now they were in their own bed at home instead of in a loud and harsh hospital room.

Jem pulled the covers back a bit just in case his phone died in the middle of the night, took one last look at how peaceful Will looked at the moment, and went to sleep.

. .

There had only been one more sudden awakening that night, but it was just from a nightmare and it didn't take long for both of them to go back to sleep. Despite that, Jem was exhausted. He'd only gotten about seven hours of sleep and he usually needed about nine hours to feel fully rested.

Will was in a similar situation, but he was a bit worse off than Jem. His sleep was a lot less restful than Jem's was and he'd eventually given up around five and just got out of bed. Jem had been able to sleep until seven when Church had decided that he needed breakfast from Jem and only Jem. By that time, Will had already showered and made breakfast for both of them. He was also feeling a little jittery, but he thought that was just from lack of sleep and the coffee he'd been drinking all morning.

Jem didn't notice anything was wrong until he went to pick up his fork and it slipped out of his fingers. It only made a small clink sound when it hit the plate since it was only a drop of about an inch, but Will jumped like someone had just fired a gun right next to his ear. He calmed down fairly easily when he realized it was just Jem's fork and just passed it off as an isolated incident. That would have been a good explanation, had it not kept happening all day.

Jem flushed the toilet and Will dropped the book he was holding. Church lost a toy behind the TV stand and yowled at it and Will almost dropped to the floor and covered his head. He forgot to keep an eye on the kettle and the whistle almost gave him a small heart attack.

It took Jem a while to figure it out, but he eventually realized that Will was definitely in a state of hypervigilance. He was constantly on guard and looking around like someone was going to jump out of the refrigerator and attack him. Every sudden noise or movement made him jump, even seeing Church jump onto the couch out of the corner of his eye. He'd read about it in one of the pamphlets, but he hadn't noticed Will acting like that at all in the last few months. It was probably a bit of a holdover from the thunderstorm mixed with exhaustion. It wasn't good that it was happening, but it was probably for the best that it was happening that day rather than any other day. Dr. Branwell would be able to address it while it was happening, which would probably be more beneficial than talking about it later.

A few hours later, it was finally time to go to Will's therapy appointment. Jem drove again, not because he didn't trust Will with the car or trust him not to turn around and drive back home, but because Will hadn't driven at all since he came home and he certainly wasn't going to today. He'd asked Will if he wanted to drive a few times before and he'd said no every time.

The drive actually went a lot better than Jem had imagined. Will seemed to have relaxed a bit now that he didn't have to worry about Church just appearing out of nowhere and scaring the living daylights out of him. He did seem to be making better use of the rear and side view mirrors than Jem was, though, but at least it meant he wasn't surprised when cars passed them. He even let Jem listen to classical music, which was very rare because Will claimed it was "boring" and "lacked enthusiasm." Jem just felt that Will hadn't heard the good stuff yet.

Too bad it had to end.

The worst part was that they weren't involved in it at all. A car in the next lane was going just a little too slow and the driver behind them was obviously impatient. He honked his horn to try to get them to speed up, which would have been completely fine and understandable if Will hadn't thrown his arm out in front of Jem, grabbed the door handle in a white knuckled grip, and twisted around at a neck-breaking speed to see where the danger was coming from.

It definitely scared Jem, but he couldn't just stop in the middle of the road to try to calm Will down. Instead, he grabbed Will's outstretched arm with one hand, kept the other hand safely on the wheel and his eyes on the road, and repeated "It's okay, you're safe" until Will stopped breathing like he'd just run a marathon. He gently added a few miles to his speed to try to get where they were going just that much faster and kept an eye out for somewhere to pull over just in case.

It took almost five minutes for Will to stop looking over his shoulder. The car had turned off the road a few minutes ago, but his brain probably hadn't connected the sound to any specific car, or even a car at all, and he was just looking for any kind of danger. Soon after that, he lowered his arm from where it was still protectively pressing against Jem's chest, but he kept his hand in Jem's, who had perfected his technique of driving one-handed in the last few minutes.

Finally, Jem pulled into the parking lot of the building and parked and turned off the car. He unbuckled his seatbelt, one-handed, as had apparently become the norm, and turned to Will, who had made no move to unbuckle his or get out of the car. They had time before his appointment started, but Jem was worried that he wasn't moving for the same reason at the day before.

He was about ask Will if he was alright when he heard, "Can we just sit here for a minute? I'm not trying to get out of it, I just…"

Jem could tell that Will didn't want to finish and said, "Of course, as long as you need," before he could continue. He took the time that they sat there to really take a good look at Will, something he hadn't been able to do while he was driving. His beathing had definitely slowed down but every breath was hitched like he was trying not to cry or let it speed up again. His eyes were darting around looking for any kind of danger, real or not. He hadn't relaxed at all and his hand that didn't have a tight hold on Jem's was clenched in his lap.

This was going to be an interesting therapy appointment.

They didn't move until there was about five minutes left until the appointment. Jem had zoned out while staring at a plant and was snapped out of his daze when Will let go of his hand and unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Ready?" he asked.

Will shrugged, said "No," and got out of the car.

. .

"So," Dr. Branwell said as they sat down, "how are you feeling today?"

Will ignored the way his heart was pounding after hearing a door slam in the hallway and said, "I'm fine."

"I'm sure. Did you hear that thunderstorm last night?"

Will nodded. There was no point trying to lie about that.

Dr. Branwell smiled. "And?"

"It was fine."

"Are you sure about that?"

Apparently lying to a therapist just didn't work. "It didn't go well and now every little sound or movement is like a jump scare."

"That's very understandable," she said. "That's called hypervigilance. Does it feel like you're constantly on edge or looking for danger?"

"Someone honked at another car on the way here and I put my arm out in front of Jem to protect him."

Dr. Branwell nodded. "It's very common, especially after that thunderstorm. The only thing you can really do is stay in a quiet area with something or something you feel safe around, but I think you've got that covered," she said with a wink. "Now, did you remember your homework from last week?"

Will pulled the crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to her. There were definitely some missing, and probably some he didn't even know about yet, but it was a fairly comprehensive list.

Dr. Branwell read over it for a second and said, "I've seen a lot of these before. The 'sudden noises' and 'gunshot sounds' are very common, but the other ones, not so much."

"I think it's kind of a "you had to be there" situation," Will said.

"So there's darkness or not being able to see, stale bread, sudden noises, blood, cold floors, extreme heat or cold, gunshot noises, yelling and dirty water. Any others?"

"I guess thunder can go on there too but that's everything I know about."

Dr. Branwell quickly copied the list down and then handed it back to Will. "Great. That'll be very useful. I think we'll go through one a week and just talk about where you might encounter them and how you can avoid or handle it. I do eventually want to know the backstories behind these but only when you're ready to talk about them. Sound good?"

Will nodded. "Sure."

"Alright. I also want to try out some medications that should help with things like hypervigilance and anxiety. I'm just going to prescribe a low dose of Prozac and Xanax for now and we can go from there and raise the dose if we need to." She filled out two prescriptions and handed them to him, then continued. "For them to work, though, you have to stick to the regimen and take them every day, alright? You also need to let me know if you have any side effects so we can monitor those and make any necessary changes. And if you have any serious side effects, you need to call a doctor or go to A&E."

"I'll see what I can do."

"I'd recommend getting those filled right away so you can start as soon as possible," Dr. Branwell said. "Now, that thunderstorm. Can you give me some more details about how it went?"