- Eleanor, what's up babe?
- Your highness, Eleanor says with a deep, exaggerated bow.
- Okay, what do you want? Spill it.
- Why would you as... Snorts Eleanor. Okay, fine, I'm gonna level with you. I want you to do your magic reset thing again and send me back to Earth. For good this time.
The Judge starts to laugh hysterically, barely getting the words out.
- I'm sorry, you... want me... to... reset you... Earth. Thanks babe, she says wiping her tears, I needed that laugh.
- Well, happy to help but that wasn't a joke. I really need to get to Earth again.
- Why would you wanna do that? You're literally in HEAVEN. And I'm telling you honey, Cincinnati ain't no heaven.
- I want to go help Michael.
- Help Michael what? He's a demon that's existed since forever. I'm pretty sure he can handle America.
- Look, I know Michael. He needs someone.
Eleanor hesitates for a second.
- He needs me.
The Judge raises her eyebrows but stays silent so Eleanor takes that as a sign she should continue.
- The truth is I haven't felt ready to move on yet and Janet helped me see that the reason is Michael. You have to admit, he helped all of us. Without him, this place wouldn't exist. Without him, even I wouldn't probably exist anymore. Not the way I do now, at least. He was my guide through both the Good and the Bad Place and now I need to be his guide on Earth.
Eleanor smiles.
- We're a team, he and I. Always have been, always will be. Can't be a team of 1. So...
She stopped, looking nervous.
- We do owe a lot to Michael. But I've already meddled with your death once and meddling again would be permanent. See, I don't think you understand what you're asking. You will have to stay on Earth until you die of natural causes, then go through the system again to see if you qualify for the Good Place. You will have to live long after Michael is gone. You would quite literally give up paradise for a dirty, smelly truckload of bowel movements.
- Vivid. Look, I know, I've thought this through and I'm convinced this is what I need. What we both need.
- Okay then hot stuff, it's your funeral. You know, Michael is lucky. I never thought I'd see someone be so fiercely loyal to a demon... Are you two banging?
The Judge wiggled her eyebrows.
- What?? No, get your mind out of the gutter lady.
- Okay, whatever you say, I'm just saying, it's gonna be close quarters on Earth. Better watch out. Although, between you and me, I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to tap that. He is quite the handsome devil for sure.
Eleanor gives a polite laugh, clearly uncomfortable.
- I'll make sure to pass that compliment along.
- So, you wanna go now?
- Give me one more day, I want to say goodbye to my friends.
- Okey doke.