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Rachel misses her mark one time too many. The music behind her came to an abrupt stop with the sound cutting out mid note. Jesse's brows furrowed in contemplation as he eyed her wordlessly before turning to the band behind them.

"Alright, give us ten minutes, guys," he huffed, displeasure clear in his tone. "Maybe Rachel can find her cue then."

Rachel rolled her eyes at the jeering remark, but otherwise kept her mouth closed as she looked off towards the side. The fact that he was right was the only thing keeping her from lashing out.

Crossing her arms, Rachel waited for the room to be empty before staring up at Jesse pointedly.

"That was harsh," she couldn't help but note. She wasn't used to being the weak link. The feeling was probably as uncomfortable for her as it was for Jesse. They've been impeccable in their performances for years now. Hours spent constantly practicing had made sure of that. In their younger years, she had been the one encouraging and pushing him to be better. The swap in roles wasn't lost on her.

Jesse narrowed a critical gaze. "You've said far worse about many, many others."

Rachel pursed her lips and nodded. "That's fair," she acknowledged faintly. She turned to walk over to the podium and lean against it as she started paging through her script aimlessly. Though she was loath to admit it, she was embarrassed at how absentminded she had become in the wake of Quinn's return.

"Oh, Rachie." Jesse released an audible sigh. "What's going on with you?" She heard him shuffle closer and she was wrapped up into a warm embrace a moment later. "If this keeps up, I might have to ask you to refrain from the sex marathons until at least opening night is over," he stated teasingly as he pressed a sweet kiss to her cheek.

Rachel leaned back into his chest as her eyes slipped close. "Not that it's any of your business," she began in a huff, "but Quinn and I are waiting before we engage in intercourse."

"Ah." Jesse set his chin on her shoulder. "I see." Rachel considered his tone, noting that there was nothing in his voice that gave away his emotions one way or another.

She licked her lips. "Yes, we decided that it's for the best."

Jesse released a derisive snort then. "And which one of you came up with the abstinence schtick this time?"

Brows furrowing at the mocking remark, Rachel eased out of his arms so she could glare up at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

A hint of a smile played on his lips as he began rocking her back and forth. "Uh, exactly what it sounds like?" Jesse chuckled. "You two always think that the 'no sex' attempt is going to fix the problems you're avoiding."

"That's not true," Rachel denied promptly as she crossed her arms once more. "If anything, it's the opposite." A flush of guilt went through her at the reminder of how she tried to use sex to drown out her feelings about the assault. She had talked to Alison about it a few months ago, her mind still not completely wrapped around what had happened to her. To them. "But if you must know, it was my idea," she chewed on her bottom lip nervously. "We're not even officially together yet, Jesse."

"I'm guessing that was your decision." Jesse paused in his rocking so that he could turn her towards him. "What did Quinn have to say about this development?"

Rachel shrugged, though her stomach had begun to twist with nerves the longer the conversation went on. "She was fine with it."

Pursing his lips, Jesse released her from his arm so that he could face her properly. "Really, Rachel, don't you think it's time you and Quinn stop making decisions about your relationship without the other person's input?"

"What are you talking about?" Rachel stepped back then, feeling uncomfortable under the weight of his gaze. "I did tell Quinn—"

"That's just it, Rachie. You told Quinn. Did you ask her what she wanted or how she felt or even—"

"Make no mistake, Jesse," Rachel interrupted in a hiss. "The only person who is allowed to make decision on who I have sex with is me," she spat out. "To imply otherwise is—"

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

Rachel faltered at the anger she could hear in Jesse's voice. She held his eyes for a moment before she bit her lip and looked away. "Quinn agreed that it would be best if we waited."

"Of course she did, Rachel." A heavy sigh escaped Jesse as he relaxed his stance and set his palm on his hip. "The last time she disagreed with you, you broke up with her."

The words are like a slap to the face and it must show because Jesse's arms are around her once more. "I'm not trying to hurt you, love," he promised as he gently squeezed her waist. "But you told me how much you hated when Quinn would pull her "come here, go away." act with you."

"It's not the same, Jay," Rachel mumbled as she lowered her arms so that she could grip his sides. "I'm just doing what's best for our relationship"

"Ah, and did you do what was "best for your relationship" when you told her you were okay with her fucking other girls?"

Rachel's heart lurched at the pointed reminder; a wave of nausea went through her as she recalled her trip from November. "That's not—that's not what happened," she mumbled, her throat closing up a bit as tears stung her eyes. "All I said was that she needn't hold back on my account. We weren't together anymore, she was away at school—"

A caustic laugh escaped from Jesse's mouth. "Oh, so does this mean that you're going to fuck other people when we move to New York for college then?"

"Of course not," she bit out as she pushed against his chest, hating that he was calling her out on her own hypocrisy. "I would never—"

"You would never?" Jesse mocked lightly as he gripped her chin and lifted her face so that she was forced to meet his gaze. "So then what made you think that Quinn would?"

Rachel's eyes shifted away as a few tears slipped along her cheek. "I just, I...I…"

She thought back to November as she attempted to sort through the swirl of emotions flowing through her. What had she been thinking when she had told Quinn that?

It was the first and only time she had gone to visit Quinn during her sister's first year at school. And they had been having a nice time. New Hampshire was beautiful, the campus was absolutely amazing. The cafes and shops around the city were new and exciting. Most importantly, Quinn finally looked happy.

Even though it was away from her.

But that's what she had wanted, right? It should've been a perfect time to discuss their relationship and ensure that they both still desired the same things. But as they had walked around campus and all these gorgeous girls kept coming up to Quinn to remind her of inside jokes that Rachel couldn't share and talk about experiences that Rachel was not privy to, something ugly had welled up inside of her. The fact that these girls knew a side of Quinn that she herself would never know.

It was anger and insecurity that prompted it. Bitterness had taken route in her heart and eventually she just started spouting off about how Quinn clearly didn't need her anymore and was better for it.

Things had been weird between them ever since.

Hindsight being 20/20, it was probably the worst thing she could've said.

Jesse gave her a moment to digest everything before he asked. "When is the last time you two really sat down and talked about your relationship?"

Rachel worried her bottom lip as she considered his words. "When we came back from New York."

"And you haven't talked since then?"

"I've been busy, Jesse." Closing her eyes, Rachel turned away as she pinched her nose and attempted to stop herself from crying. "With everything going on, I just haven't had time."

"Rachie, you know I love you," Jesse started quietly. "And I will always be on your side, but the way you treat her is shitty." He raised a hand to stop her from protesting. "Wait, allow me to amend that. The way you treat each other is shitty."

"I'm just doing what's best for us," Rachel repeated hollowly, the words long since having lost their meaning. "We haven't been together in a year. Things change."

"Quinn was desperate to be with you before she left for school. I doubt that's changed." Jesse paused before licking his lips and taking a deep breath. "I think you're scared, Rachel. And when you're scared, you can be so unbelievably cruel."

Rachel reared back at that, the words shocking the tears from her eyes once more. "I'm not vindictive, Jesse. I would never intentionally—"

"You called her a Lima loser, Rachel."

"To incentivize her to do better!" she snapped, irritated at having her own coarse words thrown back at her. "How could I possibly be with her when—" she faltered then, swallowing uneasily as her mind finally caught up with her mouth.

The look Jesse leveled her with was pointed and the gravity of what she said hit her a moment later. Guilt twisted in her stomach. "Oh God." She felt sick. "Oh, God." Rachel fell to her knees and covered her face. "I'm awful."

Insecure, selfish—

"You're human, Rachie," Jesse's voice was gentle as he kneeled down next to her and placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "I'm not trying to rewrite history. I'm just saying that perhaps you should consider being more honest with yourself, if not with her."

"I love her, Jesse," Rachel mumbled as she sniffled softly. "So much that it hurts sometimes."

"I know you do, sweetheart," Jesse cooed as he wrapped his arms around her and drew her closer once more. "And Quinn loves you." He angled her head up so he could gently wipe away her tears. "It's going to be okay. Just talk to her."

Rachel swallowed thickly, an ache sounding in her chest. She leaned into him, burying her face in his collar and wished, more than anything, that she could believe that.