better/worse

Chapter 2

The last lesbian Lena befriended broke her heart, crushed her spirit and stole her girlfriend. Once bitten, twice shy. That's why Lena thought it was great when Stef Foster went out of her way to befriend her. Stef was a straight (unattainable) married (separated) woman with a five year old son who attended Lena's school. Stef was exactly the kind of friend Lena needed. She was fun to be around and easy to talk to, and yet sometimes Stef would look at Lena with such intensity that Lena would lose her train of thought, her breath would catch in her throat, and she would suddenly be able to feel her heart hammering away in her chest. Lena always stared at her in return.

The day they met, Lena had been stuck by how timid Stef appeared. She was nervous that day, Stef later admitted. Desperate to make a good first impression as the single parent of a child with an absent father.

Lena didn't know much about Mike, Stef's husband. She didn't ask.

Lena knew that Mike was still involved in Brandon's life, but that's only because Brandon stayed with him at weekends; and weekends were when she and Stef had begun to hang out.

It all started with coffee (and Lena hated coffee).

Stef swung by the school one lunchtime with a stuffed animal for Brandon. He had needed to bring a toy to school to draw in art class and had accidentally left the stuffed animal he had selected in the car. Lena caught Stef in the corridor. She had come straight from work and this was the first time Lena had seen her since the day they met. She approached Stef slowly, taking in the way her cop uniform extenuated the curves of her body. Her hair was braided and placed out of the way on the top of her head. She looked powerful and in control. This Stef Foster was a far cry from the reserved mother Lena remembered guiding around campus. Lena felt rather hot all of a sudden.

"Mrs Foster?"

Stef smiled and it wasn't just to be polite. Lena could tell because her face genuinely lit up as she laid eyes on Lena. "Ms Adams, hi."

"Call me Lena, please."

"Then you should call me Stef."

Lena couldn't help herself. "Not Officer Foster?"

They shared a laugh. Lena's cheeks burned and so did Stef's.

"I'm just here on my lunch break to drop off this little guy for Brandon," Stef said, holding up the stuffed animal. "He needs him for art class this afternoon."

Lena nodded. "Ah, I see."

"Are you going somewhere?" Stef asked. Lena couldn't pretend she didn't enjoy Stef's gaze as it swept across her body, taking note of her handbag and jacket.

"Busted." She smiled. "I'm off to grab a coffee – I'm on my lunch too. I don't usually do caffeine, but I've been roped into hosting this PTA meeting after school. Let's just say I think I'm going to need all the help I can get to look alive for it."

Stef raised an eyebrow. She didn't suppress her smirk. "Is there something wrong with PTA meetings, Ms Adams?"

Lena's eyes sparkled mischievously. "No, they're fine. I love parents. I just don't want to babysit them."

Stef paused.

"Well, if you wanted the company, I wouldn't mind grabbing a coffee on my way back to the station..."

If Lena was surprised, she didn't show it. "I'd love the company."

And so, they went for coffee.

Later, Stef turned up unexpectedly to the PTA meeting. That afternoon was the most fun Lena had ever had juggling the demands of needy parents with the bureaucracy of teaching staff.

Lena knew her that her friendship with Stef was unprofessional. Lena knew that her infatuation with this woman was inappropriate. But Stef made Lena feel alive for the first time in a long time.

And things were easy – until they weren't.