Late at night, the boys sat awake in their dorm room. It looked and functionally identical to their rooms, but it lacked something. There was a kind of quality to the situation that left it in for want of something neither could place. This older sister, Candace had left them with a letter that sat unopened on a nightstand, pressed beneath the weight of a desk lamp. At least, for now. A letter of well wishes from an older sibling could wait. At night Phineas dreamed of the city outside of the school. He dreamed of it as it could be. A great city, powered by their impossible machines. The lights of a glittering, future city only just hidden beneath it's lush greenery. A green, perfect city. While at the same time Ferb dreamt with the city. With one another exchanging binary lullabies like boxers trading punches.

Goo doesn't dream. She slept in a cold, single room. She sleeps at night with her mind dark from the constant inhibitors in the walls. God only knows what she could come up with in her sleep.

Down the hall, towards the section filled with the older students, a pair of students adamantly refuse to sleep. Joseph sits up on his bed and takes in a deep inhale on his poorly rolled joint, but chokes almost immediately after. He can't focus on sleep, but he also refuses to think about the day. But at the same time, he can't help but be brought back to it as his body growls with hunger. He did the right thing, didn't he? If he hadn't done anything, they all could have been massacred and if the others were right, they would have had their organs harvested. But...Joseph had never fed another person into The Null.

Sitting down on the same bed is Ed, who ate part of a gummy and has been stuck on the same page of an old E.C comic for the past fifteen minutes. Joseph's phone connects to a cheap bluetooth speaker with a harsh, electronic 'pop' sound. What followed was the harsh and bizarre sounds of the Death Grips song Takyon (Death Yon).

Ed moved from side to side, laughing to himself, "This is what my brain sounds like, Joseph."

"That's messed up, man," he gave Ed a gentle nudge with his foot. "Just get the heck off my bed before you get couch lock."

"Way ahead of you, d...Joesph."

"You ass," he laughed and snubbed his joint out in an old glass Faygo bottle.

Before long, they were both asleep, Joseph with his dreams of the U-Man screaming as he fed him to The Null and Ed with his dreams of...well to be quite frank, schlocky b-movie monsters.
Deep in the lower levels of the school was another room. A glorified teacher's lounge dressed in science lab drag. It might have been able to pull it off were it not for the two vending machines in the back corner. But, nobody's attention was on that. The attending staff were focused on the jar on the table in front of them. Inside the jar was a fist-sized chunk of pink flesh and black plastic.

Rogers, the sixty-two-year-old home ec teacher's face was very nearly the same shade of green as the splotches on his tie-dye shirt as he spoke, "You're saying that the kid left only this behind?"

"It's a mess, why didn't any of you tell me what he could do?"

Rogers' cousin, Headmistress Barbara spoke next. She looked half his age, despite them sharing a birth year, "It didn't feel important at the time. Your job is just normal teaching, the rest of the staff can handle the rest."

"I think I should have known, at least for the safety of the other students. I mean, for christ's sake."

A young red-haired teacher formed a second version of theirself and they both asked in unison, "And you said he was a U-Man? I figured those guys went out of commission years ago."

"Positive, had the black suit and everything. All of the body-snatching terrorist trappings. But, he had a gun that looked like it was made out of somebody's arm." said Emma Tutweiller.

"Like, you think we should call up Westchester for some kind of help?"
Rogers directed the question at Barbara, but before she could answer Miss Tutweiller spoke.
"No, I don't think so. I can get my class up to speed on combat training, we have to keep this from happening again."

The red-haired teacher and their dupe exchanged a look and crossed their arms then shot Tutweiller a copy of the same look, "No offence, Emma. but your students are temperamental at best, keep in mind that they did this. You have a loose assortment of criminals and fuck ups who are only here because they were press-ganged into our summer school program by a walking flag."

They pressed their hand to the jar of pink meat.

"Well I'm not exactly hearing any positive ideas, none of you really want anyone from the main school down here. If one of them comes down here it'll escalate things. I'm not interested in a riot or a localized genocide."

The following day in class, Joseph and Ed attempted to continue to sleep, while off in the corner Phineas and Ferb stared at Goo as she started to slam four cans of Monster without vomiting. Upon the completion of her herculean task, Goo turned to face the brothers.

"I've been thinking a lot about the second Bush Administration lately. Now, you see the big power in that relationship was Dick Cheney. Because Bush," She turned and cackled at nothing like a cartoon witch. "Bush, George H.W Bush is an idiot. The man doesn't know the price of milk. Dick Cheney and his Texan sock puppet let 9/11 happen. It's all right there, So we could invade Iraq. Wild stuff. But who's to say we won't be next."

She stood on her chair and started to gesticulate wildly like an evangelical preacher, Ms Tutweiller was too hungover to particularly care. "Hear me out here, fellas. The next time we get a weird horror president we'll be dropped all around like atom bombs from the sky. Next thing you know, we're eating garbage in the bombed-out ruins of a city, ruled over by a cruel child-king who speaks only in emojis."

She started pumping her arms up and down like a manic pixie bodybuilder, "Then, before he can even get through a speech made of heart eyes and eggplants, his brittle bones, weakened from a lack of milk are shattered underneath the cold metal legs of Robo-Cheney."

Ferb raised his hand and spoke, "So...In this scenario is Robo-Cheney the big good because he freed us from being ruled over by this cruel boy king?"

"Well. No, because it's still Dick Cheney, he just has a bunch of little robot legs like robot Hitler from old comics."

"But why would someone attach Dick Cheney's head to a robot body?" asked Phineas.

"Why is he on his second heart despite not deserving his original one? I have a lot of questions, Phineas but I am lacking some answers."

Just outside they all heard the grunting and growling of Gate Guard Fitzsimmons The entire class along with Ms Tutweiller went to the window and saw the guard fighting with a creature with a metal crab-like body, but with the head of Dick Chaney sticking out of the centre.

Ms Tutweiller rested her head against her knuckles, "Well son of a bitch."

Goo opened up the window and mimed the act of taking aim with a sniper rifle before Tutweiller butted in, "None of that young lady. You brought that sputtering abomination into existence while talking with the boys. You have to get rid of it in a more complicated way. The rest of you should help her, it will be a good training exercise."

"But why?" asked Phineas.

Tutweiller clapped Phineas on the shoulder, "Not going to lie, strange Dorito-lad, you're going to encounter a lot of weird scenarios in your life as a mutant. Whether it's fighting a cyborg vice president or waking up in a puddle of melted plastic with a bunch of cow's legs and no answers. Right now I'm asking you to handle this in a somewhat safe environment."

She quickly shuffled the whole class out of the room and locked the door so that she could smoke cigars and drink. They went outside to face down the Robo-Cheney. Guard Fitzsimmons ran at it only to get smacked away and embedded in the wall, dazed, but alive.

Phineas cupped the lower part of his being where his face met his neck that definitely wasn't a neck and surveyed the scene, the Robo-Cheney was walking around and screeching.

"If you're god, then I'm the holy ghost and I'M GONNA FUCK THE VIRGIN MARY!" screamed the Robo-Cheney.

"Uh-huh. Goo, why did it say that?"

Goo replied with a shrug, "Sometimes if I don't invent a lot of personality for them they kind of latch onto other things. This one seems to have connected with one of Joseph Kallinger's hallucinations."

"Okay, noted. Okay, since it seems like Ms Tutweiller wants us to treat this like a game it shouldn't be easy. So, let's take stock of our abilities. Ed, what can you do?"

Ed puffed out his chest, "I'm strong."

"Alright, you're strong...try something with that and we'll see where we go from there."

Ed smiled and started to giddy tap the tips of his feet against the lawn. He then proceeded to pick up Joseph and toss him at the Robo-Cheney like a screaming spear.

"Okay, that's good," he cupped his hand to yell, "Joseph, when you hit him do the void thing around his head."

Joseph hit the Robo-Cheney with an uncomfortably loud thud. The beast didn't even seem to notice him, despite his arms and legs being wrapped around the strange metal neck that stuck up from the centre of it's weird crustation body.

"Mkay, good. Now just void his head!" shouted Phineas.

"This fucking sucks, dude!" He shouted back.

Now, Goo started to say, "Hey, maybe you shouldn't scream near the Robo-Cheney" or something along those lines, but before she could the Cheney head swivelled around with a smooth metallic whir. Then It's jaw unhinged and a sudden deluge of blue vomit blasted Joseph in the face with enough force to send him crashing into the ground, his eyes and mouth sticky with bright blue nonsense. It didn't even regard him after that. It just chittered away like a bored child that was finished with a toy it didn't care for.

As he laid there, on the ground, caked in blue slime, Joseph really considered that he would have rather had that U-Man shoot him with a weird arm gun than deal with this. Ed rushed over and scooped him up in his arms, in the same manner, one might a baby, and ran away as soon as possible with the Cheney head spraying his blue vomit at him as he trotted.

Phineas focused on Goo, "Why on earth does he vomit blue?"

Goo traced her foot in the dirt, a bit embarrassed by the question, "I...I thought it made him seem like a well rounded character in my head."

Ed dropped Joseph and ran at the chittering abomination, his arms raised above his head shouting, "Oh, why me, why me, oh, I mean oh my me
Don't see why I need all these hairs can't stand by these!"

He wrapped his entire body around one of the cyborg's weird spider legs and took a big bite out of it.

Phineas grabbed at his hair, "Can we please form a plan here?"

Joseph spoke, "Not going to lie, man. I'm pretty fine with dying right now."

Phineas growled and started rooting around his bag, "Okay, fine. Fine. I have an idea. Goo, can you imagine up a bunch of things and put them between us and Cheney?"

Goo winced and in an instant, the yard was flooded with a sea of shambling, technicolour crowd of people, all of whom started to crowd around Robo-Cheney and Ed.

Phineas dug out a pair of strange metal gauntlets that had strings of wires and LEDs flashing violent colours. He tossed a set to Ferb and another to Goo.

"Okay, Goo, follow our lead. Joseph, when Robo-Cheney gets near you I need you to do the void thing."

Goo was listening but she was suddenly hit by a smattering of viscera. Robo-Cheney was ripping through her crowd of imagined flesh shields like it was nothing. His cruel spider legs just rending and tearing.

Goo collapsed and started retching at the horrid smell of the gore and the sight of a bisected Manish creature with cotton candy hair. She looked it in it's eyes and spoke to it, "I'm sorry, you were so beautiful and you should have been brought into this world for pure reasons."

She made a finger gun and blew the candy-man away into the great oblivion. Vanishing it along with it's spilt entrails.

Joseph began to speak as he too had been caked in gore when a shirtless and violently pale boy wearing only a pair of shorts and a burger king crown came out of nowhere and bloodied his face with a powerful left hook.

The cruel boy-king cast his wild-eyed gaze on the others and somehow spoke, ":) :) w;!"

Goo and Phineas stepped back as the crazed imaginary boy started swinging his large fists around like a drunken toddler. All the while still screaming, ";( XD !"

There was a hard, meaty sounding thud. The boy's wild expression fell and his eyes went dull and empty. The boy's body toppled to the ground, revealing that behind him was Ferb, holding a large pipe wrench that was now caked in blood and chunks of the skull.

That was what finally put Goo over the edge and she proceeded to vomit. Phineas shot his brother a pained look, "Good lord, man. That seemed like overkill. Did you have to hit him that hard?"

"I didn't hit him, the wrench merely turned in my hand."

Phineas helped Goo to her feet. She kept looking up, away from the corpse of the Cruel Boy King. The three of them smelled something like a bunch of burnt batteries and turned their head to find it's source. Headmistress Barbara Roberts ventured into the yard, behind here were a crowd of students and faculty that had been watching for most of the fight but had concluded that it was none of their business. Her body was enveloped in a fire that was a brilliant shade of pink. In the palms of her hands, they could see a set of strange mounds that were glowing. In rapid succession, she pitched them at the face of Robo-Cheney with all of the force of a professional softball player. They slammed into the creature's face, balls of melted plastic searing its face.

Headmistress Roberts smiled to herself, "That was oddly cathartic."

She turned her attention on the kids that were still conscious, her smile still present, but there was a sense of urgency attached to her words, "Flynn, is Gribble still alive?"

They all turned and heard Joseph groan.

"Yes."

"Good, you three go help the other one and steer Cheney into the building," she said.

"Steer him into the building?"

"Yes, the building can shrug off the mortar fire of a tank, it can handle a cyborg war criminal."

Without another thought, the three of them ran over and pried Ed off of the leg of Cheney, as the three of them pushed they forced the entire body of the creature into a granite column. Caving in his gargantuan head with a wet pop.

By the end of it, most of them were sweating. Goo had taken to vanishing away the brutalized flesh shields and the corpse of Robo-Cheney. Ed helped Joseph up. While vanishing Cheney also vanished the blue vomit, it failed to correct his nose, which had been busted up by the cruel child king. The front of his shirt was soaked with his own blood. Headmistress Barbara approached the group, looking just a bit apprehensive. She dug a tampon out of the inner pocket of her blazer and handed it to Joseph.

"You'll need to see a school healer, but this will help with the bleeding for now," She said.

Joseph didn't say anything, he just used the tampon to stuff up his nostril. And gave her a thumbs up.

"Now, as for the rest of you. I would not call...well at least nobody's dead. That's good.

Goo stepped up to her.

"This is my fault Ms Roberts if I hadn't-"

Headmistress Roberts cut her off, "Goo, relax. Nobody is mad at you. Things like this just happen. Sometimes you wake up in a pool of cow legs with no answers."

"That is the second time I've heard that today," said Phineas.

Ms Roberts clapped Goo on the shoulder, "Now, all of you can go get washed up, you smell foul."