Fandom: Gravitation / グラビテーション
Title: Creating Infinity.
Pairing: Ryuichi x Tatsuha
Rating: PG-13
Description: (sequel to "Things don't last forever.") Tatsuha receives a surprise on White Day that he never expected to get.
Disclaimer: Gravitation does not belong to me, but Murakami Maki-sama!
Creating Infinity.
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 2 – Room tango.
After the meeting, I have absolutely no idea what to do because my mind is partly in shambles. What starts out as losing all feeling to my fingers and toes has now invaded the rest of my body. For now, it doesn't feel like my own as I'm floating between absolute bliss that I get to be with him one more time and it isn't a daydream. And pure hell that I'll let him string me every which way he wants while he rejects me in spurts every time we become closer.
Not that there's much to start with in the first place, being just a fan and all.
He doesn't even have to exert that much effort anyway.
I'll be a sucker every time…
I don't care that you figured out the meaning of the novels, but being with and without you is difficult, Ryuichi-sama. I only spent a few real moments with you, but they've sustained me until now and it makes me wonder how could I ever live on without you? The rest of the blanks and gaps are filled by all your songs, the permanent soundtrack of my life.
But there are times I wonder if life without your voice could've been more peaceful.
Less heartbreaking on my part.
Especially just being passersby to each other in our own lives.
By the time everyone filters out, we are left in the room and I glimpse at the floor before raising my head again to meet his eyes. He's looking straight at me and it's so intense that I run away to the back of the room with the coffee maker, making myself a cup.
"Do you want one too?"
"Sure."
With my back facing him, I put the filter into the machine and open the jar with the fresh French press coffee I've brought to share with everyone.
I couldn't drink instant after being in your house. I want to laugh at myself at only discovering how far you've influenced me.
"Where are you staying?" I place the cup before pouring the water.
"I want to stay with you."
"At the temple?"
He doesn't answer.
Turning my head, I glance at him but am a little startled. He's still observing my every move and I begin to blush.
My shamelessness in my head and facing the real thing before me…
Nothing is making sense. The numbness starts to penetrate my brain.
I hand over the first cup to him, but he cups both of his hands over mine. "Think of this as my delayed White Day gift. A very delayed one, Tatsuha."
Blinking at him, my heart flutters at still trying to understand that my idol is holding my hand and all I want to do is escape from him.
Somehow, I push the cup into his hands while I make my own.
"Sure," I plainly reply.
Break me all over again, Ryuichi-sama.
A brief smile comes to my lips. "You remembered that time I came to your house. I'm flattered."
He clearly retorts in all seriousness, "I'd never forget about that."
"So you're doing what I did at that time and returning the favor? You didn't have to."
Tap…tap…tap…
Again, I hear him moving towards me. "Tohma was the one who bought me the ticket."
"Why would he do that?"
"As a reward for figuring it all out. I knew it was yours."
Almost clicking my tongue, I avoid his gaze yet again while stirring in some Hokkaido milk.
"Your pen name was to throw people off, wasn't it?"
Pretending to be light-hearted about the whole issue, I face him and take a sip of my coffee before putting it down. Grabbing my robe, I slightly lift it above my ankles. "In the eyes of the world, I'm still a monk. This and that are separate."
They only come together when I write. It's my only way to find peace…
"We're so alike, Tatsuha, aren't we?"
He maneuvers to get closer towards me, but I deftly move backwards in our version of tango.
There's a part of me that refuses to marry the idea of this reality intersecting with his. That day in Los Angeles was part of a dream, my one-day fantasy arranged by my brother-in-law, and not totally because he's a member of Nittle Grapser.
/"I can't believe you're sending me to HIM! But what am I supposed to do?"
"Be yourself. You're his gift."
"Me? I can't be his gift! I know you know I love him, but even I won't take advantage of you being his bandmate. The concerts and paraphernalia are different from this. This is-"
Tohma interrupts while pulling on the rim of his hat, "Well, that's why I'm sending you there."
"You're not even going to deny that you gave me a straight answer?"
Shaking his head, it's the first time I've been privileged to glimpse inside the mind of Seguchi Tohma, the person more locked inside than Nittle Grapser's genius vocalist.
"When it comes to Ryuichi, I never play around." He turns around and waves his leather hand.
But without him saying it, I could hear it through his tone, "Ryuichi deserves more than I could ever give him."
I don't know why, but I understood it from the bottom of my heart.
It made me wonder what their past was like for them to be that solid./
"I'm glad you were able to make a decision."
"Yes, I did."
When I lift up my head, he's right in front of me.
I wonder what's changed that now he's the one pushing to become closer while I'm the one receding.
I put my cup down and gulp. "So, where are you really staying? All jokes aside."
Placing one hand on either side of me to keep me from escaping, he holds onto the table with me in between. "I want to stay with you, Tatsuha."
He just stands there, persistently looking at me. Without the persona of all the sexiness he oozed out earlier, but the subdued, contemplative person I'd met that Valentine's Day.
What you don't know is that I fell in love with that person more than the one on the stage. The one I'd idolized for so long…
I nod my head. "Got it. You're in luck because my father's gone on a retreat to Miyazaki-ken in Kyushu. Something about training to learn more about Izanami and Izanagi in their home shrine."
"So you manage the temple by yourself?"
"Of course. Remember I told you my sister and brother have their own lives-"
He yanks my hand, pushing my forehead to his shoulder. Holding the back of my head, he gently rubs the tips of my hair with his fingertips.
The tingles from his fingers to my brain feel amazing…
"Ryuichi-sam-"
"Just Ryuichi is fine," he softly says.
"What are you…"
He leans forward.
"What if I told you I came for you, Tatsuha-kun?"
Batan.
I open my eyes widely and end up sitting on the table.
But as I sit there on the table, he's holding me in between his arms. With my back against the wall and legs apart with him in the middle, I don't feel the need to pull away.
Right now, he's holding more than body, but all of me, his heat seeping into my skin but absorbing my soul. And singing a song only I can hear, the Siren is already working his magic…
Surely, this must be a dream and I'll wake up soon, just like I always do.
Tsuzuku… / To be continued…
-
Author's note: Ohisashiburi, Gravitation~! I am making a point to take this in incremental steps because while one day is only 24 hours in a person's life, it is still 86,400 seconds. And so much can happen in one day to make it seem so short and fast at the same time.
I just want to savor Tatsuha and Ryuichi again while their chibis are biting my brain and saying, "Pwease, play with us again, Yui~!"
Love,
Yui
4/11/2021 7:14:03 PM – Los Angeles
4/12/2021 11:14:03 AM – Tokyo