AN: So, here's what this story was about: It was supposed to be a one shot because during quarantine I watched GG again and I kept having scenarios in my head about the post-revival world. This was one of them. But when I was writing it, I came up with the idea of having that chapter and then writing some entries of Rory's journals, the ones she gave Logan (that's why I named the story Dear Logan). And I started to write that. And then I stopped and decided to post just the one shot. But I read the reviews and more of the story in present day came to mind and here's how I have now planned it: I'll post journal entries and present day (2017) chapters as I write them. Does this sound interesting to you as a reader? Should I scrap either part and just go with one of them?
I'm not a writer, I spend too much time writing dialogue and I forget to write down more narrative parts that sometimes help the story. I love reading descriptions but I'm terrible at writing them! So, my apologies in advance. I also don't have an end goal for this story because it was never supposed to be a full-on story. I have no idea if I'll have enough creativity to turn this into an actual story or not, but I'll try. I also find it very hard to write anyone besides Rory and Logan, so writing a bigger story implies I must use more characters and I don't know if I can.
Lastly, and if this story never sees a satisfying ending, please know that in my head Rory and Logan always find their way towards each other. After some soul searching and healing because neither of the two is free of guilt. But that's always my end goal. It's all about the journey, right?
Thank you for the reviews, you made this story go on when I thought I was done with it!
November 17th 2016
Dear Logan,
I told my mom today that I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. My mom got married today and I am pregnant. It still doesn't feel real, even though I've known for a while now. Who would have thought that our Mr. Toad's wild ride would live on, is living on inside me right now. I love Fall, my mother is a winter girl, but I just love fall. The ambience is always so warm, so mystical. I don't know what it is but I was always my happiest during fall. And now I have the best fall present. I went to the doctor a few days ago, all's good with the little tadpole. I'm 7 weeks pregnant and the heartbeat is strong. I have to cut down coffee so I'll have to tell Luke soon, but otherwise nothing much.
Love, Ace & baby tadpole
November 25th 2016
Dear Logan,
I told Paris. Oh my dear lord I told Paris. It was the Paris rant to end all Paris' rants. Why do we have Thanksgiving again? She has to be my doctor, or so she says. She's still in New York and I'm not driving all the way there and back for each appointment. She made me sync calendars with her so she can order me about what I can and can't do week by week. Why did I tell Paris?
Besides having my ear cut off by Paris, me and tadpole are doing great.
Love, Ace & baby tadpole
December 16th 2016
Dear Logan,
My mom has been asking me when am I going to tell you. I don't think I can. I wish nothing more than for you to be here with us, but I've made pro-con list after pro-con list and I don't know how to contradict what it has been telling me. I can't tell you. You know, my life's a mess, but I can deal with it. My mom is the queen of messy and she can help me navigate my late quarter life crisis. I'm writing my book and it's going well. I still write an article here and there, but I don't know if my heart is in Journalism anymore. I want to explore other options so in a way this baby will help me hit pause on the circus that has been my life in the last couple of years. But your life is not a circus, one could argue it is somewhat of a Greek tragedy, dynastic plans and all, but it's your life and you have chosen it. And you are thriving in it. I know working for your father was never your dream, but I've seen you Logan, you love it, you love London. It's where you belong, it's where you are supposed to be. So, I cannot yank you from that. And more important, I cannot even imagine what people could think of our baby. I can only picture that it would be the Straub-Francine incident all over again, over and over again. Can you imagine what people would say if they found out we'd been together all this time? You, engaged, me the daughter of an unmarried teenage mother. I can already hear the "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" between tea slurps at the country club. How did we get here, Logan? How did we let ourselves into this mess? I can't do that to my baby. I can't have them feel like a mistake all their life, I can't. I know the feeling and it is not pleasant. I'll do everything in my power to avoid this. So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I cannot tell you we're having a baby. I know you'll love them, in your heart, every day. And I know they'll love you. I promise to tell them about you, to tell them you love them every day, every single day, Logan. They'll get to know you, the you I fell in love oh so many years ago. I promise you that. But I am so sorry I cannot tell you. You can't imagine how much.
Anyway, baby tadpole is good and growing. 11 weeks already, almost done with the first trimester. One third of the way there.
Love, Ace & baby tadpole
December 28th 2017
Dear Logan,
We told my grandmother. My mother did, actually. Christmas was moved to Nantucket this year, to my grandma's new place. The landscape made me remember our weekends at the Vineyard and I was feeling kind of down. And morning sickness made its appearance in full force everyday by 8 pm. I was lied to all my life! There's no such thing as morning sickness. It's every day, all day sickness. I had the nerve to complain to Paris and she told me how good I had it, that I could be like princess Kate and have that hyper something or other illness and be confined to a bed for nine months.
Anyway, it became a bit hard to hide it from grandma. We waited a few days, until after Christmas, and we told her. I like this new Emily Gilmore, you know? She was chill (if I ever thought I'd say that about my grandmother!), she said we were due a baby in the family and she barely raised her eyebrow when I told her the father wasn't in the picture. I had to tell a lie and I hated doing it, to her and to you, but it is what it is.
Hope you had a great Christmas and have a Happy New Year.
Love, Ace & baby tadpole