Elena felt nervous as they drove to Bobby's house. Dean and Sam had explained that she was living with him and had been since she was turned into a human. There was so much to learn about herself and get caught up on. She was worried about the women in Massachusetts who died, she was worried about whatever was inside her mind blocking memories that even an angel couldn't access, and she was worried about the baby she was carrying. It was all too much, and she didn't know where to start in trying to sort things out. The one thing she was grateful for was that Cas had healed her arm after they left the hospital, and she didn't have to wear the awkward cast anymore.

"Cas?" Elena inquired.

Cas looked over at her in the car from his spot behind Sam.

"Yesterday you said that the baby isn't a Nephilim because I'm not a human. If it isn't a Nephilim, then what exactly is it?"

Dean glanced at Cas in the rearview mirror, waiting for his answer to Elena's question.

"I have no idea."

They waited for him to continue, but he remained silent.

"What do you mean you have no idea," Dean asked slowly, his eyes narrowing.

"I have no idea what this baby is, only what it is not. It is not a Nephilim, nor a human, nor an angel, nor a unicorn. Nothing like this child has ever existed."

Sam opened his mouth to speak, then paused before deciding to continue.

"Okay, Cas, so wait. Are you saying this baby is something new?"

Cas looked at Sam intently.

"Yes, Sam. That is what I am saying."

"So, whatever this baby is, there's not even a word for it?" Sam continued.

"That is correct."

Everyone took a moment to let the information sink in. Dean got a hopeful look on his face.

"Well, in that case, I think—"

Sam immediately cut him off.

"You're not naming another species, Dean," Sam told him with exasperation.

"You didn't even hear what name I was going to say," Dean said pointedly.

"Do we really need to? I mean, come on, Jefferson Starships?"

Elena looked at Cas, confused, and he shook his head. Dean pouted and Sam threw up his hands before rubbing his forehead.

"Okay, Dean, what do you think this new species should be called," he sighed.

Dean grinned, laughing at Sam's defeat.

"You're gonna love it, Sammy, I promise" he said. "I think we should call the baby a Divine."

Sam paused for a moment, a slow smile spreading across his face.

"Okay, I'll admit it, that's not half bad."

Dean looked to Cas and Elena, waiting for their reactions.

"Divine," Cas said softly, gazing at Elena with a smile on his face.

She felt her throat tighten as her body reacted to him against her wishes. She felt her cheeks burning and looked down at her lap, determined to force herself to calm down.

"I don't have an opinion," she muttered.

She glanced at Cas and saw the smile drop from his face, replaced with a look of sadness. Elena bit her lip and looked out the window.

"Did you find anything out about what's wrong with my mind?"

Elena watched Dean shoot Cas a look in the mirror, but she wasn't sure why. Cas frowned and looked out the window on his side.

"It is unclear," Cas told her.

She didn't know why, but she knew he was lying. She felt dread starting to simmer low in her belly. This was why she had to be cautious and not trust them too much. They were telling her the truth about some things but leaving other things out or hiding them entirely. She bit her lip as she considered what to do. She wondered if they be more or less likely to tell the truth once they got to Bobby's house.

"Where did you go the night that those women were murdered?" Elena asked, making her decision.

Cas gave no acknowledgement of her question.

"Cas, in the hospital, Sam said I was worried you killed those women because I woke up in the middle of the night and you were gone."

"Yes."

"If you didn't kill those women, where were you?"

"I cannot answer that."

Sam and Dean exchanged worried looks, and Sam looked back at Elena. She blew out her breath forcefully, frustrated by the secrets and lies.

"I don't remember anything. How am I ever supposed to trust any of you when you're all lying to me and keeping secrets from me? That isn't what friends do."

None of them answered her, silence filling the car again. Dean turned on the radio and turned the volume up, effectively shutting down any further conversation. Elena glared at him for a few minutes in the rearview mirror. He noticed but refused to yield.

They arrived at Bobby's house a little after seven that night, after a couple brief stops for gas, snacks, and bathroom breaks for Elena. Sam had called ahead and explained to Bobby what was going on, both with the women in Massachusetts and Elena's memory issues.

"I knew I never shoulda let you go off with these idjits," Bobby told her when they walked in the house.

Elena smiled at his description of the men. She felt like calling them a few choice words as well. They gathered in the kitchen at the table, Bobby and Cas choosing to remain standing.

"You got any idea of next steps?" Bobby asked Dean, who shrugged in response.

"Clearly we were on to something with the Grigori being involved in the assaults on those women. The four that were killed a month ago, none of them were pregnant. The two that just got killed were, but it doesn't make sense why they would've been killed," Sam said.

"Only thing I can think is they were gettin' rid of the ones who didn't get knocked up. Maybe they knew you were on their trail with the other two and decided to get rid of the evidence," Bobby offered.

Sam frowned and shook his head.

"It still doesn't make sense, though. Why go to all that trouble to create Nephilim only to destroy them? I think it would've made more sense if the women went missing, if they had been taken and hidden until they gave birth."

"Do we have any other leads we can follow up on?" Bobby asked Cas.

"Unfortunately, no. Things are still very bad in Heaven right now, and with everyone focused on the fight it's hard to get information about anything else."

"It would be nice if we could figure out what's wrong in my head, and why when you tried to search my mind you got thrown across the room," Elena commented to Cas.

"Wait, you didn't tell us about that," Sam said.

"You told me there was just something blocking part of her mind. You didn't say it was violent. What the hell could affect you like that?" Dean questioned.

Elena made a note to pay attention to why Cas told Dean but not Sam about the mind block. Dean had also looked at Cas in the car when she brought it up, but Sam hadn't reacted at all, as if he didn't know what she was referencing. There was something weird going on there. Cas let his gaze wander to the ceiling, sweeping side to side slowly as he spoke.

"I am not sure what is causing the block. I am not sure why it had a physical effect on me when I tried to search. It didn't seem important to mention something that I can't explain."

Bobby scoffed.

"Uh, that's exactly why it's important, idjit. If even you can't figure somethin' out, don't that tell you somethin'? Sounds an awful lot like some kinda spell. You boys find any hex bags while you were out there?"

Dean shook his head.

"Anything else strange happen?" Bobby continued to question, and Dean stopped.

"Oh. Well, remember when we first got there?" Dean asked Sam, who nodded in understanding.

"What happened?" Bobby asked, though to Elena it sounded more like a demand.

"When we checked in to the motel, their computers were down or something. It took a while to get everything squared away. Elena and Cas were in the car and thought we had only been gone a few minutes," Sam answered.

"How long was it really?"

"Like half an hour?"

Bobby stared at Sam and Dean.

"You mean to tell me you went to a town where you knew some sort of witchcraft was goin' on, and when our feathered friend and Elena here mentioned they were missing almost half an hour of time, none of you idjits thought to do anything about it?"

Sam winced as Bobby yelled.

"I mean, we thought it was weird, but…"

"But nothin'! You know the stakes! Idjits! All of you!" Bobby continued to shout. "And you," he said, lowering his voice a little as he looked at Elena, "you shoulda known better. I taught you better than that. I know you don't remember nothin' now, but you shoulda known."

Elena looked down at the table, her cheeks burning. It was hard enough to learn about herself from everyone else's stories and memories. Having Bobby berate her for mistakes she couldn't remember was mortifying. She felt tears welling in her eyes and tried blinking them away, but it wasn't working.

"I need to go for a walk," she said, pushing her chair away from the table and leaving.

She half-expected Bobby to stop her but he let her leave, and no one spoke up or tried to follow her out. After a few minutes walking away, she heard someone jogging up behind her. Sam appeared at her left side and fell into step with her.

"You okay?" he asked.

Elena glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes and looked forward again, clearly irritated.

"Right, stupid question," he admitted. "I'm sorry you're going through all of this right now. I mean, things were hard enough before, and now you don't even remember. I'm sure it feels like you're being dumped in the middle of the ocean during a storm with no life jacket."

Elena frowned in response. His description was pretty accurate, and he seemed to be empathizing with her, but she didn't want to get too comfortable and let her guard down. She might miss something if she did, and she couldn't afford to miss anything at this point.

"If you don't want to talk, that's fine, I'll just walk with you unless you tell me to go. But, if you want to talk, I'm here," Sam continued.

She stopped walking and sighed, crossing her arms and squaring her jaw as she looked off in the distance.

"To be honest, I don't feel much like talking. Mostly because you're all lying to me about things. I don't know what, and I don't know why. How can I believe you or trust you when I know you're keeping secrets?"

"Elena, we'd never keep anything from you to hurt you or put you in danger," Sam explained, but she shook her head.

"Yeah, you say that, but look at it from my perspective. Maybe we did know each other and were great friends and all, but at this point it's like I met you yesterday. In that short amount of time, I learned a lot of stuff that's just…well, it's insane. Angels and unicorns and babies of all sorts of species combinations and witches and demons, and I could go on and on, but it's exhausting and I'm sure you get my point. What I also know is that you and Dean weren't sure if Cas had murdered people, and you said I also wasn't sure about it, and apparently none of us knew whether he was going to kill my baby if it was the wrong cross-species. I just get to wake up and meet three guys, one of whom is the father of the child I'm apparently carrying, and all I hear is that he maybe can't be trusted. And Cas told Dean something he didn't tell you, and I get the feeling there's more to it than that, so now I think they're lying to you. Why would I trust any of you?"

Sam raked his hands through his hair and nodded.

"I don't know about Cas and Dean lying to me, but everything else you said…you're right," he said honestly. "When you put it like that, it does sound pretty bad. It is pretty bad. There's a lot of heavy stuff happening, and we're all on edge. I know it seems like we didn't trust Cas, but before this, I wouldn't have questioned his loyalty for a moment. He's proven to me and Dean that he'll die for us going against what Heaven wants. At the same time, that was his home for…pretty much ever, before he met us. He's known us for a split second of his life, and I think a lot of things are still ingrained in him. We just have to work with him to show him he doesn't have to drink the Kool-Aid anymore. Anything he's ever done, though, he's always done it with good intentions and always believed it to be the right thing to do."

"Why won't he tell us where he went that night, then?"

Sam frowned and shook his head.

"I don't know. I just have to believe that he's got a good reason for not telling us. I can say that I believe him fully when he says he didn't murder those two women and their babies. I understand now why it's hard for you to trust us. I hope you believe that I wouldn't lie about believing him. This whole thing is too important. If Dean and I thought for a moment that he was responsible or was going to hurt you, we would've banished him and hidden you somehow."

"You can banish angels?"

"Yeah, there's a special sigil you can draw, but it has to be done in blood. It's not permanent but it helps. There are also wardings to keep them out. I'll teach you the designs, if you want."

Elena nodded and started walking again.

"Your description about being in the ocean was pretty on-point," she admitted after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm sorry you're going through this."

"Yeah. Me too. Do you think there's a way to figure out what spell was used and reverse it?"

Sam rubbed the back of his neck and made a face.

"I hope so. I mean, we're gonna try everything we can to figure it out."

They kept walking in silence for a few more minutes. Elena hadn't asked Cas about their relationship, but she felt it was a little easier to talk to Sam about it.

"So…Cas is the father of my baby."

"Yeah, he is."

"And we were…dating? Or something?"

"Yeah, you two were definitely together. There was something going on between you two pretty much from the moment you got turned into a human."

She frowned, wondering what Cas was expecting of her now. He hadn't said anything or tried anything, he had kept his distance and been respectful. She wondered how long that would last, and what would happen if they couldn't reverse whatever spell was used on her.

"He's not going to pressure you, or anything like that," Sam told her, somehow sensing what she was thinking.

"It's just weird to wake up and not know someone, and then find out you're having their baby. What am I supposed to do? What if I have this baby and still don't have any memory of him? I can't be in a relationship that I don't remember. But clearly if I'm having his baby, we were in a relationship, so then am I doubting myself just because I don't remember? Should I just trust that he's that person and pretend like it's okay? If I don't, does that mean I don't trust myself?"

Sam looked overwhelmed by her litany of questions.

"Uh, well, I don't think you need to think about all that at this point. You could come up with a bunch more questions and concerns about things that might never happen. None of us are expecting you to be with him right now when you don't remember anything, him especially. Maybe just take it slow and try getting to know him. Then if something happens, it happens, and it's okay."

"Well, what if I decide I don't like him?"

Sam laughed.

"Honestly, I'd be pretty surprised if that were the case. You two have always had a special connection, and I doubt it went away just because you can't remember. But if you decide that, no one will hold it against you."

He gave her a look she couldn't identify, so she looked away as they walked. The moon was rising in the sky, and the dusk that surrounded her when she set off had turned definitively to night.

"I think I'm ready to head back," she said, and Sam nodded.

"Sure. Are you cold?"

"A little, but I'll be fine. We're not too far from the house."

Sam took off his coat and put it over Elena's shoulders. She flashed him a smile and he smiled back.

The next few days, Bobby and Sam spent time combing through book after book, searching for a way to track down whatever magic had been used against Elena. Cas was giving her space, but she noticed how often he stared at her. She couldn't deny that she found him attractive, and when he looked at her intensely, her throat tightened and her face flushed. She would always look away first.

She hadn't made any effort to spend more time alone with Cas. She was still nervous, especially knowing he was purposefully keeping something from her. She believed that Sam trusted him, and she was starting to trust Sam, but it still felt like a stretch. She still hadn't figured out why Cas and Dean had been weird about the mind blocking thing, which continued to weigh on her mind. There was too much pressure to be someone she wasn't, for her to remember him when she didn't. He wasn't saying anything indicating that, but she could tell from all his staring and the disappointed looks when she chose to stay away from him.

It was a lot easier to talk with Sam, though he was busy with Bobby most of each day. Dean was spending his time fixing his car from the mechanic who fixed it from the accident. According to Dean, the guy had "violated Baby" and he needed to fix all that had been done wrong. That left her alone in the house with Cas hanging around, and there were only so many times she could make excuses to leave the room when he entered it. She knew that he knew she was uncomfortable being around him, and she felt badly for it.

After lunch one day, she was heading into the living room when she noticed Cas sitting stiffly on the couch. He glanced up and saw her, and she saw a flash of emotions cross his face. His eyes lit up at first, then quickly he pulled back the excitement and tilted his head down, his expression dejected already. Elena bit her lip, considering her options. Clearly, he thought she would find a reason to leave the room and go somewhere else, and he knew he was the reason why. Even though she felt uncomfortable, she decided she owed it to him to speak with him a little.

"Is it okay if I join you?" she asked, and he looked at her, completely surprised.

"Of—of course," he said quickly.

Elena got the impression he thought if he didn't accept right away, she might change her mind. She sat in Bobby's reclining chair, pulling her feet up underneath her.

"So…how's it going?"

"Difficult."

Elena nodded and looked down, swallowing hard.

"I can't be her," she said softly.

"There is no her, only you."

"No, there's definitely a her. And she remembers everything, and she meant so much to you, clearly, and I guess…you meant a lot to her. But I'm not her, and I don't know how to try to be her, and it feels weird and wrong. It's like I got dumped into someone else's life and I'm trying to catch up, but all the feelings are wrong and everything is scary," she said, fiddling with the necklace she always had on.

It had been on her when she woke up. It had a beautiful angel figure in a wire pendant. Cas watched as she played with it, a small smile on his face.

"I made that for you," he told her, tilting his head toward the necklace.

"Why?"

"At the time, I had to be away from you for a while and I was missing you very much. I gave it to you so that you always had me close to your heart, even if I couldn't be with you. I have one as well," he told her, pulling out a necklace from under his shirt.

Elena leaned forward to look at it, noting that his featured a unicorn in the pendant.

"I'm sure she thought it was very sweet," Elena said.

"You did," he replied.

"What if the baby had been a Nephilim?"

He tilted his head and squinted, confused. Elena felt a surge from her heart, and she pushed aside the thought that he looked adorable when he did that.

"Instead of whatever…instead of being Divine," she continued, using Dean's name for the baby. "If it had been a Nephilim, what would you have done?"

Cas looked down, his expression tight. Elena worried that she had angered him, but she felt it was a valid question to ask.

"I'm not a monster," he said softly, his voice shaking a little.

She waited, sensing he wasn't done. After another minute of silence, he looked up at her, his eyes staring into her soul.

"I would do anything for you. If our child was a Nephilim, there is nothing I wouldn't do to protect you both."

"I'm sorry she didn't trust you enough to tell you. I'm sorry you found out the way you did."

"I understand why you did it. Dean has spoken to me about my behavior regarding the topic of the Nephilim. I said I would get rid of them. Of course you were afraid of me and what I would do. I'm sorry that my…programming…is so hard to overcome. I'm sorry I gave you reason to doubt me."

They sat quietly for a little while, the silence finally comfortable.

"What did you like about her?" Elena asked after a little while.

"I'm not sure it would help you to hear this," he replied, continuing to explain when she frowned at him. "You have already expressed you feel disconnected. I don't want to add pressure by creating an idea you feel you need to compare yourself to or force yourself to be."

"Yeah, that makes sense. I feel like I'm already doing that, with what little information I have."

Cas looked at her sympathetically.

"Is there something else I can do to help?"

"Would you like to go for a walk?"

He gave her a smile, and Elena felt her heart stop for a moment. He deserved the chance for her to try getting to know him, as Sam suggested. Whether she got her memories back or not, he was clearly going to be a part of her life. It was going to take time and work, but already she felt a little more comfortable being around him.