A dive within the mind

Gasps filled the hallway as I addressed my sister in all but blood in the most sincere and vulnerable way as possible.

In my peripheral vision, I saw the class' eyes glued to us, wondering what was happening between the strict teacher and the loner of Soubu.

I tried calling her with a whisper, but it looks like I called her a little to loudly than how I wanted to, just like what she did seconds before.

Hiratsu- Shizuka slowly glances upward, finally meeting my eyes. Her disappointment slowly fading and being replaced by curiosity and gratitude, silently thanking me from getting her out of her funk before it even happened. With a quick nod of acceptance, I asked again.

"What happened?... Are you okay?"

I couldn't stop myself from asking if she was okay. This is the closest she has been from breaking down in public, the closest instance of her almost forgetting that we weren't alone and was actually being stared at by quite a lot of students.

She slowly shakes her head indicating that she wasn't, in fact, okay. With a quick glance towards the classroom, seeing that many eyes and ears where listening on us, she placed a firm hand on my shoulders, silently pleading for support and went closer. Her breath tickled my earlobe and she said;

"We need to talk. Later."

Shit. This is serious. I wonder what it's about? With a quick nod to reassure her that I understand, she let go of my shoulder and shook her face, wearing her mask once again. Seeing her doing this, I quickly placed mine back, the ever present glare coming back in full force, only a slight twinkle in my eye left to tell her that I'm still here for her.

She glanced at the clock behind me, seeing a few bewildered faces from the sudden change in our attitudes. With a smirk, she said;

"You're late."

"I am."

"Detention?"

"Lunch?"

"Faculty."

"Sure."

With our quick exchange done, we get ready to step in the classroom, only to see all of them facing the window, obviously listening in on our conversation. With a sigh, I slowly walk to my seat under the stares filled with confusion and envy. This is bad, I hope the rumors from what happened earlier won't bite Shizuka's ass later down the road.

"what was that?"

"what were they talking about?"

"did she call Hikitani by his first name?"

"he called her Shizuka? what was that about?"

"its probably why he's 3rd in Japanese, he might be bribing her or something"

"or maybe she's 'bribing' him? ehehehe"

This is getting out of hand. I can't even focus of the lecture. I hope this doesn't escalate to something worse.

The distinct sound of the lunch bell woke me up from my thoughts. The classroom's shuffling noises increased tenfold as students slowly formed their cliques. However, something's different is happening today. Something unusual.

My neck hairs stood up as I sensed something different from the usual goings on of the classroom during lunch. With my curiosity piqued, I slowly looked sideward, only to see them staring at me.

Great. Just Great. More attention about me. I hate it.

Can't they see how uncomfortable I am with their stares? Why can't they just take the hint? Ugh, fine. Looks like I have no other choice.

The area around me dropped a few degrees, seemingly following my command. if I were in an anime or manga, A dark aura would've probably pulsed throughout the room, it doesn't matter. Even without the color, I know that they all felt it. A palpable tension clouded over the room. Slowly buy surely, I glared at each and every one of them, silently conveying my darkest desire.

Leave me alone. I want to die.

A looked away, and suddenly, people stopped talking in general.

Silence.

Finally.

Unfortunately, it only lasted a few seconds.

Shizuka came barging in the room, looking frantically around like a lost puppy looking for its owner. The class all turned to her in one, surprised by the sudden noise of the door colliding with the adjacent wall behind it.

"Hikigaya."

"What."

Shit. That came out with a bit more venom than I wanted. I looked at her, silently apologizing for my tone by lowering my mask for a few seconds and instantly getting it back up.

She nodded and said; "Come with me. We need to talk. Now."

With the two of them slowly leaving from sight, the silent classroom became a frenzy of discussion as to what happened.

"I wonder what they wanted to talk about." I asked to my friends.

"I don't know, Yui. But something is definitely happening between the two of them, I feel it." Muira-san said.

"AHAHAHAHA, Hikitani and Sensei? No way. Hikitani is, like, really lame. Dude." Tobe, the clown of the group, said in a very loud voice.

"I don't know guys. Did you see their expressions earlier today. It's unsettling. It's like, they're wearing masks or something, and just instantly lost it when they saw each other." Hayama, the leader of the group, said in a very thoughtful manner.

"So, you think they're dating or something? Damn, Hikitani-kun got the moves! Wow, he's so lucky, Sensei's like, a total bod, ya know?"

Tobe and the boys' conversation slowly devolved into girls and how hot they are, while the us girls slowly tried to piece together what happened.

I wonder if they really are a couple, and if so, why Hikki? He's like, the loner of loners. Even Kawasaki-san thinks so. I hope he isn't in trouble.

Even though our conversations are few and far between, I still think of him as a friend. Ever since he saved my dog, Sable, from bring hit by a car, I've always felt gratitude towards him for what he did. I tried befriending him a few times, but he seems too closed off and depressed to even accept. Ever since, I've tried to help him by stopping my friends from being mean to him. Unfortunately, I can't stop the others from calling him names, seeing as I don't have that much of a reach on the student body.

I feel guilty for letting himself fend off the name calling. I really want to help him. But how?

How indeed?

This place holds a special place in my heart.

The rooftop of Soubu High became our de facto meeting point ever since Shizuka found me sulking here one day. Since then, we would always talk here about our lives, our worries, our thoughts.

It's been a few days since I came up here, but every time I do, the view still takes my breath away.

From the railing, you could see the suburbs of Chiba, on the south, the malls and restaurants, and when looking above, nothing but clear skies and no skyscrapers to obstruct them.

Truly a place to behold, if only not for the skulking 27 year old beside me.

We were both leaning against the railing, looking out towards the horizon. She was smoking another cigarette while leaning against my shoulder for comfort.

Apparently, she got rejected. Again.

Last night, she went on a date with an old friend, came back to his apartment, and had a good time. In the morning, she woke up to an empty bed, some leftover scrambled eggs, and a note saying that he had a good time, but wasn't looking for something steady right now. A one night stand, a bad one at that.

"He wasn't even that good."

"Shizuka."

"He could barely last for a minute!"

"Shizuka."

"Ugh, what a waste of condoms, prolly could've bought more ciggies with the money."

"Okay okay, fine. I get it. He's bad, no need to rub it in my face that you're getting some." I grumbled.

"Ha ha. I'd rather not get anything if that's what's available. Like, seriously, its overrated." She said, giggling slightly about my discomfort.

"You tell that to a virgin."

"Why? You jealous? Wanna get some? I told you that you just tell me and I'd pop your cherry real quick." She smirked.

"Very funny." I said in a very deadpanned manner.

"I'm teasing, I'm teasing. Besides, I don't want you to have a girlfriend, you'd leave poor old me alone." She joked, with a hint of embarrassment.

"You know I won't, Shizuka. You're like, my only friend in this stupid world." I tried to tell her with a straight face, only to chuckle at how normie that sounded.

"Hmm. I don't know if I should be glad or sad about that." She jokingly tried to look like she was thinking before joining me in my laughter.

It was a few seconds before we recovered and stayed in comfortable silence. It's moments like these that make me appreciate my friendship with my sensei. She's one of the few people who could tolerate my sense of humor and my love for silence.

It was 10 minutes before classes started when she broke the silence.

"Hachiman, I have a favor to ask you." with a hopeful voice laced with a hint of fear and apprehension.

What is it?