If you recognize it, then I probably don't own it
Chapter 2: Evasion
I felt oddly buoyant as I walked from French toward the cafeteria, and it wasn't because Edward had insisted on holding my books, though that was certainly part of it.
Maybe it was the knowledge that my sentence was served and I was free!
Or maybe it was because school was winding down, and for the senior class that meant freedom was almost touchable.
Signs of it were everywhere. Signs of it were everywhere, posters crowded every hall of every building, the trashcans wore colorful skirts of spilled over fliers: reminders to buy yearbooks, class rings, and announcements; deadlines to order caps and gowns; neon bright sales pitches—the juniors were campaigning for class office, advertisements for prom hung ominously. The big dance was this weekend, but I had an ironclad agreement from Edward that I would not be going, no matter how much Alice bugged him to take me dress shopping.
No, it had to have personal freedom that made me feel normal. The ending of school gave me more anxiety than elation. Actually, I was anxious to the point of nausea, whenever I thought of it. I tried not to think about it.
But it was hard to escape the looming omnipresent topic of graduation.
"Have you sent your announcements, yet?" Angela asked when Edward and I sat down our table. She had her light brown hair pulled into a sloppy ponytail instead of her usual smooth hairdo, and there was a slightly frantic look about her eyes.
Alice and Ben were already there, too, on either side of Angela. Ben was intent over a comic book, his glasses sliding down his narrow nose. Alice was scrutinizing my boring jeans-and-a-rock-band-t-shirt outfit in a way that made me self-conscious. Probably plotting another horrific makeover that would involve wiping off my $30 mascara, $20 eyeliner, $2 lip balm, and $40 dollar skin tinting sunscreen. My choice of rock band t-shirts, that my grandparents had in their garage from their roadie days touring with the biggest bands had left them with a surplus of merchandise that I raided many times over, was the bane of Alice's existence. If I'd allow it, she'd love to dress me every day-maybe even several times a day—like her own personal Barbie doll.
"No," I answered Angela, "There's no point, really. Renée knows when I'm graduating and she's probably gonna want to bring her gross husband and the baby. My grandparents know and might be coming, but who else is there?"
"How about you, Alice?"
Alice smiled, "All done."
"Lucky you." Angela sighed, "My mother has a thousand cousins and she expects me to hand-address one to everybody. I'm going to get carpel tunnel. I can't put it off any longer and I'm just dreading it."
"I'll help you," I volunteered. "If you don't mind my shitty handwriting."
My father would like that. From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward smile. He must like that, too—me fulfilling my father's conditions without involving werewolves.
Angela looked relieved. "That's so nice of you. I'll come over any time you want."
"Actually, I'd rather go to your house if that's okay—I'm so fucking sick of my house. My dad ungrounded me last night." I grinned as I announced my good news.
"Really?" Angela asked, mild excitement lighting her always-gentle brown eyes, "I thought you said you were in for life."
"I'm more surprised than you are. I was sure I would at least have finished high school before he set me free."
"Well, this is great, Miri! We'll have to go out to celebrate!"
"You have no idea how good that sounds.
"What should we do?" Alice mused, her face lighting up at the possibilities. Alice's ideas were either grandiose or expensive or both. I could see it in her eyes now, if we let her decide she would bankrupt us.
"Whatever you're thinking, Alice, I doubt that I'm that free."
"Free is free, right?" she insisted.
"I'm sure I still have boundaries—like staying in the state, for sure."
Angela and Ben laughed, but Alice grimaced with real disappointment.
"So what are we doing tonight?" she persisted.
"Nothing. Look, let's give it a couple of days to make sure he wasn't joking. It's a school night, anyway."
"We'll celebrate this weekend, then." Alice enthused.
"Sure," I said, hoping to placate her. I knew I wasn't going to do anything outlandish; it was safer to take it slow with my dad. Give him a chance to appreciate how trustworthy and mature I was before I asked any favors.
Angela and Alice started talking about options; Ben joined the conversation, setting his comic aside. My attention drifted. It wasn't my freedom that had me daydreaming. While Alice and Angela planned trips to Port Angeles or Hoquiam, my mind began to drift further into the past.
Ever since I'd said goodbye to Jacob Black in the forest outside my home, I'd been plagued by a persistent, uncomfortable intrusion of a specific mental picture. It popped into my head almost constantly, almost every half hour, filling my head with images of Jacob's face—sometimes smiling or laughing, and sometimes crumpled in pain. The pain filled face was the last image I had of him.
As I saw his face again, pained as Edward held me back from taking his hand, I knew exactly why I was dissatisfied with my new freedom. Because I was incomplete.
Sure, I was free to go to anywhere I wanted—except La Push; to do anything I wanted—except see Jacob. I frowned at the table. There had to be some kind of middle ground.
"Alice? Alice!"
Angela's panicked voice yanked me back to reality. She was waving her hand back and forth in front of Alice's blank face. Alice's expression was something I recognized—something that sent immediate panic throughout my body. The vacant look in her eyes—she was seeing something very different than the mundane lunchroom that surrounded us, but it was every bit as real in its own way. Something was coming, something that would happen soon. I could feel the blood drain from my body.
Then Edward laughed, a very natural relaxed sound. Angela and Ben looked toward him, but my eyes were still locked on Alice—was she seeing my death? My turn? She jumped suddenly, like she'd been kicked under the table.
"Is it naptime already, Alice?" Edward teased
Alice was herself again, "Sorry, I was daydreaming, I guess."
"Daydreaming's better than facing two more hours of school."
Alice threw herself back into the conversation with more animation than before—just a little bit too much. Once I saw her eyes lock with Edward's, only for a moment, and then she looked back to Angela before anyone else notice. Edward was quiet, playing absentmindedly with a strand my hair.
I waited anxiously for a chance to ask Edward what Alice had seen in her vision, but the afternoon passed without a minute of alone time.
…
It felt odd to me, almost deliberate. After lunch, Edward slowed his pace to match Ben's, talking about some assignment I knew he'd already finished. Then there was always someone else there between classes, though we usually had a few minutes to ourselves. When the final bell rang, Edward struck up a conversation with Mike Newton of all people, for the parking lot. I trailed behind, letting Edward tow me along.
I listened, confused, while Mike answered Edwards unusually friendly queries.
"…but I just replaced the battery," Mike was saying. His eyes darted his ahead and then back to Edward warily, I guess they were talking about cars.
"Perhaps, it's the cables?" Edward offered.
"Maybe, I don't really know anything about cars," Mike admitted, "I need to have someone look at it, but I can't afford to take it to Dowling's."
I opened my mouth to suggest my mechanic—my Jake—but closed it again. My mechanic didn't want to talk to me these days—he was too busy running around as giant wolf.
"I know a few things—I could take a look, if you like," Edward offered. "Just let me drop Alice and Miri home."
Mike and I both stared at him with confusion on our faces.
"Er…thanks." Mike mumbled when he recovered, "But I have to get to work. Maybe some other time."
"Absolutely."
"See ya." Mike climbed into his car, shaking his head in disbelief.
Edward's Volvo, with Alice already inside, was just two cars away.
"What the hell was that about?" I muttered as Edward held the passenger door open for me.
"Just being helpful." Edward answered.
"Sure you were."
Alice in the backseat, began babbling at top speed.
"You're not really that good a mechanic, Edward. Maybe you should have Rosalie take a look at it tonight, just so you look good if Mike decides to let you help, you know. Not that it wouldn't be fun to watch his face if Rosalie showed up to help. But since Rosalie is supposed to be across the country attending college. I guess that's not the best idea. Too bad. Though I suppose for Mike's car, you'll do. It's only within the finer tunings of a good Italian sports car that you're out of your out of your depth. And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche. I don't know that I want to wait for Christmas…."
Of course she was trying to deflect with that stupid car, she'd already been to the website eight times in the last 3 days building custom models with tan leather interior and heat massage seats. And Edward and I would be alone soon, so I could confront him about what Alice saw.
But he seemed to recognize that too. He dropped Alice at the mouth of the Cullen's drive as usual, though by this point I half expected him to drive her to the door and walk her in.
As she got out, Alice threw a sharp look at his face. Edward seemed completely at ease.
"See you later," he said. And then, slightly, nodded.
He was quiet as he turned the car around and headed back to Forks. I waited, crossing my arms across my chest, waiting for him to start. He didn't. What had Alice seen today at lunch? Something he didn't tell me. As if I couldn't keep a secret, please. I was the best at keeping secrets. There was no reason for him to tell me things.
So we were both silent until we got back to my father's house.
"Light homework load tonight." He commented.
I nodded.
"Do you suppose I'm allowed inside again?"
"He didn't throw a fit when you picked me up for school."
But I was sure my father was going to get sulky fast when he got home and found Edward here. Maybe I could make something extra special for dinner. Little Mikey was at a friend's house for after school, and Prissy was working a 24 hour shift.
…
Instead, I headed up the stairs, and Edward followed. He lounged on my bed and gazed out the window, seemingly oblivious to my edginess.
I stowed my bag and turned the computer on. There was an unanswered email from my mother to attend to, and she got even more impatient when I moved up here. I waited for my ancient computer to load. My fingers drummed against the keyboard, stabbing my password on the keyboard.
And then his fingers were on mine, holding them still.
"Are we a little anxious?" he asked, softly.
I looked up, he was closer than I expected. His golden eyes smoldering, just inches away, and his breath was cool against my lips. I could taste him on my tongue.
Kissing Edward was always nice, his lips gently moving with mine. It surprised me a little when his fingers braided themselves into my hair, securing my face to his. My arms locked behind his neck. One hand slid down my back, pressing me tighter against his stone chest. My skin tingled as his fingertips danced down my back. He knew what he was doing. He knew what he wanted—what we both wanted in this moment.
I knew I had about three seconds before both of us tossed inhibition to the wind, and continued doing what we started. As much as I liked the taste, the action… I didn't want that now.
I pulled my face away from his, breaking his hold with ease.
He chuckled once. His eyes were bright with excitement.
"Ah, Peach." He sighed.
"I'm not anxious, I'm super chill all the time!" I reminded him
"Maybe we can be super chill on the bed?" He offered.
"Maybe you can be super chill outside?"
He smiled crookedly and disentangled himself.
I shook my head a few times, whispered bastard under my breath, and turned back to my computer. I was logged in now.
"Tell your mother I said hello."
"Mhmm," I hummed.
I scanned through my mother's email. Delighting in how her nail art Instagram was doing, how the Salon was. How my grandparents were doing, they had gotten in contact with Record Label to cut a demo. Grimacing when she discussed her husband of two years, and their almost one year old baby. It frustrated me to no end how he was a decent husband and father to his kids (he has two kids from his first marriage that were older than me and closer to 30) and my mom, instead of the icky gross gym teacher at my old high school.
I'd spent most of my life being a parent to my mom, patiently keeping her grounded instead of letting her talent as an artist take her to a career of a starving artist. It wasn't that she wasn't a parent to me, it was that finances and bills didn't come naturally to her. It was always me reminding her to pay the rent, or go grocery shopping, or come to parent-teacher-night. It wasn't that she wasn't a good mom, she was the best, but deadlines and due dates didn't come naturally to her. Typical artist.
I was very different than her, maybe in spite of her. The responsible one, at times the Buzzkill, the thoughtful and cautious one. The one who posted the bills, cooked, went grocery shopping, the one who knows all the passwords and where everything is. I was so different from my mother, and yet I seemed to be following the same path.
Silly and romantic, my parents married fresh out of high school when they barely knew each other, producing me a year later. She always told me she had no regrets, but I don't know. I was an angel baby, she got lucky with. So she pushed herself through community college; paying for every bill she had, every expense. And when she graduated she pushed herself through nail tech certification so she could get a quality job she wouldn't hate. She drilled it into my head—marriage is serious. Mature people went to college and started careers before they got deeply involved in a relationship. We both thought I would never been dumb, young, and in love. How stupid of us.
Then I hit the parting line, and remembered why I had been avoiding her emails.
You haven't said anything about Jacob in a long time, she'd written. What's he up to these days?
She and my father had been talking, for sure.
I typed quickly, tucking the answer in middle of a paragraph.
Jake's fine, don't see him much. He's too busy with his friends in La Push.
I finished typing, reminding her book the plane tickets and hotel to my graduation. I added Edward's greeting and hit "send".
I didn't realize that Edward was standing silently behind me again until after I put the computer to sleep, I was about to scold him for reading over my shoulder when I realized her wasn't paying attention to me. He was examining the black box with wires curling crookedly away from the main square in a way that didn't look healthy for whatever it was. The stereo Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper had given him (for my car) for his birthday. His constant bitching that my radio was shit (and that my taste in CD's was subpar) had gotten to them, and since we used to spend a lot of time in my car it made sense to shut him up. The stereo was now collecting dust at the bottom of my closet.
"What did you do to this?" he asked, horrorstruck.
"Ruined my nails pulling it out of the dashboard."
"So you tortured it? As what retribution?"
"I'm bad with tools." I reminded. "I had to ask my mom for dip powder to fix my nails."
He shook his head, unable to keep a mask of tragedy, "You killed it."
I shrugged, giggling, "I maintain, I'm not at fault."
"It would hurt their feelings if they saw this," he said, his mood changing. "I guess it's good that you've been on house arrest. I'll have to install another one before they notice."
"No, don't. You're in trouble, and you have to listen to my CD's."
"I'm not replacing it for your sake."
I sighed, "It doesn't matter, and you're still listening to my CD's."
"You didn't get much use out of a lot of things last year," he said in a disgruntled voice. I didn't see him move, but he was a stiff rectangle of paper.
I didn't answer, a lot of things happened this past year; a lot of things I wish didn't, a lot of things that I'm glad did, and some things I wish were still happening. His eighteenth birthday, a day I had insisted he celebrate, had ended in disaster. Equally we were both sensitive about it. I think him more so then me. I was surprised he would bring it up.
"Do you realize these are about to expire?" he asked, holding the paper out to me. It was another of his altruistic gifts—a couple of vouchers that his parents had given him so he could meet my mother officially.
I took a deep breath and in a flat voice answered, "No. I actually haven't forgotten them."
His expression was carefully bright and positive; there was no trace of any deep emotion as he continued. "Well, we have a little more time. You've been freed…and we have no plans this weekend, since you refuse to go to prom with me." He grinned, "Why not celebrate your freedom this way?"
I snorted, "By going to California?"
"You did say something about the continental U.S. being allowable."
I glared at him, narrowing my eyes, trying to figure out what his plan was.
"Well?" he demanded. "Are we going to see Renée or not?"
"You actually want to meet my mother?"
"Well—"
"Charlie will never allow it." The thought of my dad being okay with me spending a weekend under the oblivious eye of my mother, he'd blow a gasket.
"Charlie can't keep you from visiting your mother. She still has primary custody."
"Nobody has custody of me, remember? I aged, gracefully, in January. They're your tickets, anyway."
He flashed a brilliant smile. "Exactly."
I thought it over for a short minute, I didn't want to fight with him. My father would be furious—of course. My father would go back to barely speaking to me, and I'd probably be grounded again. It was definitely smarter not to bring it up. Maybe in a few weeks, as a graduation favor.
But the idea of seeing my mother now, was hard to resist. I needed a mommy-hug, something magical that could soothe my anxiety. The last time I saw her was when I was in a hospital bed and she was a couple of weeks away from giving birth. Not exactly the best memories to leave her with. Especially if I was to drop off the face of the Earth in a couple of weeks.
But Edward—Edward probably had this idea that he was being introduced as my fiancé and he would be meeting his mother-in-law. And then I would be yelled at by my mother for rushing into to marriage (a conversation about buying cow when I could have the milk for free was once had when I was 13 and I was not reliving it).
Edward scrutinized my face while I deliberated.
I sighed, "Not this weekend."
"I don't want to fight with my dad. Not so soon after he's forgiven me."
His eyebrows pulled together. "I think this weekend is perfect," he muttered.
"Another time," I took his hand in mine and lead him to the bed. "Cuddle with me."
He followed me onto the bed, without protest. He laid down on the right side, by the window, and I laid down in his arms.
"You're trying to distract me aren't you?" he asked.
"Is it working?"
"Not when I know what you're doing. You aren't the only one who's been trapped in this house, you know."
Suspicion returned, his bitching was so not him—not unless he was hungry.
"You could go anywhere you want," I reminded him and placed my hand over his heart, "I know I keep asking you to come over at night, but you have choices too. You still do."
"The outside world holds no interest, not unless you are out there with me."
I rolled my eyes, "Liar."
"I am serious," he put his hand on top of mine, interlocking our fingers.
I looked up at him, his jaw was slightly clenched.
"Then let's go outside slowly. For example, we can start with a movie? You get the tickets, I'll get the popcorn?"
He groaned, "Never mind. We'll talk about this later."
"If you're trying to negotiate me taking you to dinner, you're in luck because I'm willing to spoil you."
I felt him shrug, as he considered my offer.
"Okay, new subject," I said. I'd almost let him distract me—had this been his intention? "What did Alice see today at lunch?"
My eyes were fixed on his face as I watched measuring his reaction. I was hard to gage because I didn't see whole face from my vantage point as his little spoon snuggling in his arms.
So I got on top of him, my eyebrows raised expectantly.
His expression was composed; there was only the slightest hardening of his topaz eyes. "She's been seeing Jasper in a strange place, somewhere in the southwest, she thinks, near his former…family. But he has no conscious intentions to go back," he sighed. "It's got her worried."
"Oh." That was nothing close to what I was expecting. But of course it made sense that Alice would be watching everyone. Her soulmate especially. While they aren't as obvious as Rosalie and Emmett were, I knew their closeness was enviable. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I didn't realize you'd noticed," he said, "It's probably nothing important, in any case." Edward put his hands on my hips.
I shook my head, "I'm not starting that right now."
"Why not?" He said with a quick glance to my nightstand.
"Because I'm no psychic, but the Chief is picking up his son from a play date and will be home early today."
"How early?"
I shook his head, "You're incorrigible."
"I'm a man." He reminded me, as I slid off him.
I took his hands in my and pulled him to sit up. "A man with math homework."
…
We went downstairs to work on our homework, just to ensure my father and brother could see us when they walked through the door. Edward finished in minutes, I waded through my homework laboriously until I decided I was over it and went to cook dinner. We would be bringing P her dinner so she didn't have to eat bad cafeteria food.
Edward helped, though he did whisper we had enough time in my ear. And he made faces when I handled the raw ingredients—raw human food disgusted him somewhat. I made Grandma Miriam's stroganoff, because I was sucking up. It was my father's favorite.
My dad seemed to be already in a good mood when he got home with my brother. He didn't even go out of his way to be rude to Edward. Edward helped my little brother with his homework, until I called everyone to eat. Then he excused himself, as usual. The sound of the nightly news drifted from the front room, but I doubted Edward was really watching.
After eating his second helping, my dad kicked his feet up on the spare chair and folded his hands contentedly across his stomach.
"That was great, Peach."
"Can I be excused," Little Mikey asked, "Cause I want to play game on the X-box."
"Put your dishes in the dishwasher." My dad instructed.
Mikey made it all the way to the sink, dumping his dishes and running up to play the X-box.
"I'm glad you liked it. How was work?" I asked as I put some of the stroganoff into a container for P.
"Sort of slow. Well, dead slow really. Mark and I played cards for a good part of the afternoon." He admitted with a grin, "I won, nineteen hands to seven. And then I was on the phone with Billy for a while."
I tried to keep my expression the same. "How is he?"
"Good, good. His joints are bothering him a little."
"Oh, that's too bad."
"Yeah. He invited us down to visit this weekend. He was thinking of having the Clearwater's and the Uley's over too. Sort of a playoff party…"
"Okay," was all that I could say. But what could I do? I wasn't allowed in La Push by my gag fiancé, and the pack wasn't thrilled the vampires were back. So I doubt there would be no conflict if I went, even with parental supervision. I wondered if Edward would have a problem with my dad hanging out in La Push. Or maybe that rule only applied to me, since Billy was human.
I took the dishes from the sink and started rinsing them before putting them in the dishwasher. Edward appeared silently and began to help me.
My dad sighed and gave up for the moment, though I imagined he would revisit the subject when we were alone again. He heaved himself to his feet and headed for the TV, just like every other night.
"Charlie." Edward said in a conversational tone.
Charlie stopped in the middle of the kitchen, "Yeah?"
"Did Miri ever tell you that my parents gave me airplane tickets on my last birthday, and that I want to use them to meet her mother?"
I dropped the plate I was rinsing. It noisily clattered in the sink tapping other dishes, glasses, and utensils. It didn't break, but it echoed across the room.
"Peach?" My dad asked in a stunned voice.
I kept my eyes on the plate, "Rat bastard," I hissed at Edward.
Charlie swallowed loudly, and then his eyes narrowed as he turned back to Edward, "No, she never mentioned it."
"Hmm," Edward muttered.
"Was there a reason you bought it up?" Charlie asked in a hard voice.
Edward shrugged innocently. "They're about to expire. I think it might hurt my mother's feelings if I never got to use them. Not that she'd say anything."
I stared at Edward in disbelief.
My father thought for a moment, "It's probably a good idea for him to meet your mom, Miri. And introduce him. She'd like that, she'd like seeing you again. I'm surprised you didn't say anything about this."
I stayed silent.
He frowned, "If he wants to be introduced to your mother, that's his choice."
"His funeral." I corrected. My mother, as great as she was, could be…overbearing when meeting new people. It was uncomfortable, to say the least.
"Now when you say they're you mean that Miri's mother and husband will be flying up?" Charlie went on.
"No I mean… one ticket for me, and one for her. To go down to California."
I dropped the plate again, it clattered in the sink once more. I could hear the sharp huff as my father exhaled. The blood rushed into my face, fueled by irritation and chagrin. Why was Edward doing this? I felt my heart beat rise, panic was beginning to set in.
"That's out of the question!" Charlie shouted in a rage.
"Why?" Edward asked, his voice saturated with naïve innocence. "You just said it was a good idea for her to see her mom."
Charlie ignored him. "You're not going anywhere with him, young lady!" he yelled. I spun around and he was waving a finger at me.
"Me!" I shrieked, "What the fuck did I do?" Anger pulsated through me automatically, an instinctual reaction.
"Entertaining the idea of going to California with him!"
"No I didn't!"
"It doesn't matter, you're grounded!"
"What!"
"Starting now, you're grounded!"
"For what!"
"Because I said so!"
"I didn't do anything!"
"It doesn't matter, my house my rules!"
"Fine then I'll move out! Do you want me gone tonight or can I have a few days?"
His face went bright red. I instantly felt horrible. Shame and guilt careened through me. I took a deep breath and tried to remain calm, "I'll do my time without complaining when I'm being punished for something I did. I didn't do anything today."
I glared at Edward and hoped in this moment he could read my thoughts: your fault!
My dad sputtered and said nothing comprehensible.
"Now, that I know you know that I have every right to see my mother for the weekend. You honestly can't object if I were to take Angela or Alice."
"Girls," he grunted with a nod.
"Would I bother you if I took Jacob?"
I'd only picked his name, because I knew my father's preference for Jacob, I knew my feelings for Jacob, and I instantly wished I hadn't; Edward's teeth clench together with an audible snap.
My father struggled to compose himself before he answered, "Yes." He said unconvincingly, "That would bother me."
"You're a shit liar, dad."
"Miri—"
"It's not like I'm headed off to Las Vegas to being a stripper. We'd just be seeing mom and Grams and Gramps!" I reminded. "She's just as much a parental authority as you, and Grams and Gramps more so."
He threw me withering look.
"Are you implying mom is bad at looking after me?"
Charlie flinched at the threat implicit in my question: I'm going to tell mom you think she's a bad parent! Oh, she would be yelling at him on the phone for days.
"You better hope I don't tell her about this!"
"You better not, Miri." He warned, "I'm not happy about this."
"There's no reason for you to be upset."
He rolled his eyes, but I knew that storm was over.
I turned to finish the dishes.
…
"So my homework is done, your dinner is done, the dishes are done, and I'm not grounded. I'm going out to bring P her dinner. I'll be back before ten-thirty."
"It doesn't take that long to go to the hospital and back." My dad said, his face was almost back to normal, and flushed red again.
"I'm going somewhere after," I admitted, "I'm not sure yet, but I'll keep it in a ten mile radius. Okay."
He grunted that did not sound like approval, and stalked out of the room.
"You're coming with me." I told Edward.
"We're going out?" Edward asked, his voice low and enthusiastic.
I glowered at him, "Yes, I'm going to yell at you, after we give P her dinner."
He didn't look as apprehensive as I thought he should.
…
I waited to begin until we were safely in his car, as we left the hospital parking lot. I had given P her dinner, and we both said hello to Carlisle.
"What the fuck was that?" I demanded.
"I know you want to see your mother, Miri—you've been thinking about her often. It's really the main thing I've been over hearing lately."
"So what?" I crossed my arms.
"You want to see her, I want to meet her. And clearly you were too much of a coward to deal with Charlie, so I interceded on your behalf."
"Oh, bullshit. You threw me to the sharks!"
"I don't think you were in any danger," he rolled his eyes.
"I told you I didn't want to fight with Charlie!"
"Nobody said you had too." He eased onto the empty road, turning his brights on.
"Oh are you kidding me! How was I supposed to react once he started screaming?"
He chuckled, "You are cute when you yell at me, you know."
I stared at him, speculating. He didn't seem to notice. His face was serene as he gazed out the windshield. Something was off, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Or maybe it was my imagination.
"Does this sudden urge to see California have anything to do with the party at Billy's place?"
His jaw flexed. "Nothing at all. It wouldn't matter if you were here or one the other side of the world, you still wouldn't be going."
I was just like with my dad—I was being treated like I was a misbehaving baby. I grit my teeth together so I wouldn't start shouting at him. I didn't want to fight with Edward, too.
Edward sighed and when he spoke his voice was warm and velvet again. "So what do you want to do tonight?"
"I don't know. Yell at you more?"
"You can yell at me at my house? You haven't seen Esme in a while."
"That'll be nice."
"Especially when she hears what we're doing this weekend."
"Just focus on driving," I ordered, staring out the window, "There are a lot of dead animals on the road today."
"I don't see any." He remarked.
…
We didn't stay out late, I'd promised. It was still past 10, so my brother would be asleep. I was not surprised to see the lights still on when we pulled up in front of the house—I knew Charlie would be waiting to yell at me.
"You better not come inside," I said, "It'll make things worse."
"His thoughts are relatively calm." Edward teased. His expression made me wonder if there was some joke I was missing. The corners of his mouth twitched, fighting a smile.
"What are you laughing at?" I demanded.
"Nothing," he said quickly.
"Whatever, I'll see you later?"
He laughed and kissed the top of my head. "I'll be back when Charlie's asleep. We can have a repeat of what we did at my house."
"If you get so lucky."
…
The TV was loud when I got inside. I briefly considered trying to sneak past him.
"Could you come in here, Miri?" Charlie called, sinking that battleship.
My feet dragged as I took the five necessary steps.
"What's up, Dad?"
"Did you have a nice time tonight?" he asked. He seemed ill at ease. I looked for hidden meanings in his words before I answered.
"Yes," I said hesitantly.
"What did you do?"
I shrugged, "Hung out with Alice and Jasper. They taught me how to play chess, I'm very bad. But Alice beat Edward, and Jasper did a really good job of pretending to be bad."
And I smiled, watching Edward and Alice play was interesting to say the least. They kept changing strategy because Alice foresaw Edward's moves and Edward read Alice's mind. They played most of the game in anticipation of each other. Their game was quick with Edward eventually relinquishing his king. And then they turned into teams as I played Jasper, each taking turns to help me prolong the game before I lost. And when we finished Edward and I went to his room to finish what we had started in my room, without fear of being interrupted.
Charlie hit the mute button—an unusual action.
"Look there's something I need to say." He frowned, looking uncomfortable.
I sat still, waiting. He met my gaze for a second before shifting his eyes to the floor. He didn't say anything more.
"What's going on?"
He sighed, "I'm not good at this kind of thing. I don't know how to start…"
I waited again.
"Okay, Peach. Here's the thing." He got up from the couch and started pacing back and forth across the room, looking at his feet the entire time. "You and Edward seem to be pretty serious, despite your insistence that you aren't. And there are things that you need to be careful about. I know you're an adult now, but you're still young, Miri, and there a lot of things when you…well, when you're physically involved with—"
"No!" I begged, jumping to my feet, "Please no! Shut up, Shut up! Please for the love of god! No! Do not give me the sex talk, please tell me that's not what you're doing."
He glared at the floor. "I am your father. I have responsibilities. Remember I am just as embarrassed as you are."
"I don't think that's humanly possible. Anyway, Grams already got you beat, ten years ago. You're off the hook."
"Ten years ago you didn't have a boyfriend." He muttered unwillingly. I could tell he was battling with his desire to drop the subject. We were both standing up, looking at the floor and facing away from each other.
"I don't think the mechanics have changed much." I mumbled, and my face had to be beat red. This was beyond the seventh circle of hell; even worse than realizing Edward knew what was coming when we were in the car.
"Just tell me you two are being responsible." Charlie pled, obviously wishing a pit would open in the floor so that he could fall in.
Hell, I would jump in. But no way in hell was I admitting to my father that I was sexually active.
"Don't worry about it, Dad, it's not like that."
"Not that I don't believe you, but since I found this in your nightstand." He brandished the box of condoms I stored in the back of my nightstand drawer; behind all the pay stubs, old emery boards, sleeping pills, birth control, my SSRI's, stamping plates, headphones, and hand lotions. "And I know you'll say anything to get out of this conversation—"
"That's not mine," I said quickly, in a small voice.
"Whose is it then?"
"Angela's." I said.
My father narrowed his eyes at me. "Angela's?"
"Yes."
"If it's hers, why do you have it?"
"She…asked me to…"
"Buy it for her?" My father finished for me.
"Yeah." I threw in an awkward laugh, "Don't worry, Edward is very old-fashioned. You have nothing to worry about."
Charlie sighed. "Mhm, yeah. Sure he is."
"I really wish you were not forcing me to say this out loud. Seriously. But…I'm a…virgin." Liar. "And I'm not about to change that any time soon." Liar!
Then I gagged, and my dad cringed, but he seemed to believe me.
"Can I go to bed? Please?"
"In a minute," he said.
"Please, Dad? I need to go hide under my blankets and scream into my pillow."
"The embarrassing part's over, I promise." He assured me.
I shot a glance at him, and was grateful to see that he looked more relaxed, that his face was back to his regular color. I'm sure my face was beet red. He sank down into the sofa sighing with relief that he was past the sex speech.
"What now?"
"I just wanted to know how the balance thing is coming along."
"Fine, I guess. I made plans with Angela today. I'm going to help her with her graduation announcements. Just us girls."
"That's nice. And what about Jake?"
It was my turn to sigh, "I haven't figured that one out yet."
"Keep trying, Peach. I know you'll do the right thing. You're a good girl."
Nice. So if I didn't figure it out, I was a bad girl, and also I'm currently lying to my father. And I had to figure out how to get the box of condoms back into my room.
"Mmhmm," I agreed. The automatic response, with a fake smile. Jake was so good at being the 'it's-all-good-guy'. Jake was so good at saying 'mmhmm' even with an it's-all-good patronizing tone he used with his father he was still…good.
Charlie grinned and turned the sound back on. He slumped lower into the cushions, pleased with his night's work. I could tell he would be up with the game for a while.
"'Night, Peachy."
"I'm going to take the box back…for Angela." I said, grabbed the box and racing upstairs before he could stop me. "See you in the morning."
…
Edward was long gone and he wouldn't be back until Charlie was asleep—he was probably out hunting or something to pass the time—so I was in no hurry to undress for bed. I wasn't in the mood to be alone, but I certainly wasn't going down stairs ever again. I shuddered, throwing the box of condoms under my bed.
So, thanks to Charlie, I wound up anxious. My homework was done and I didn't feel mellow enough for reading or listening to music. I considered calling my mother with the news of the impending visit. But she had a baby, she was probably sleeping.
I could call Angela, and tell her about the condom thing. But I didn't want to talk to Angela. She wasn't who I needed to talk to.
I stared at the blank black window, biting my lip. I don't know how long I stood there weighing the pros against the cons—doing the right thing by Jacob, and seeing my closest friend again, being a good person, versus making Edward furious with me. Hell, I didn't exactly care how Edward felt about my seeing Jake. Ten minutes maybe. Edward was only worried about my safety. But the one thing, consistently, holding me back from seeing Jake was that Jake didn't want to see me.
The phone wouldn't help, Jake was ignoring my calls, and refused to answer since Edward's return. Besides, I needed to see him. Smiling again the way he used to. I needed to replace that awful memory of his face warped and twisted by pain if I was ever going to have peace of mind.
I had an hour probably. I could make a quick run to La Push and be back before Edward realized I was gone. It was past my curfew, but would my father really care about that when Edward wasn't involved? One way to find out?
I could see Jacob's shit-eating grin when I'd tell him Charlie had found a box of contraception, him holding back his laughter and failing. My impromptu unbelieved lie. Charlie giving me the sex talk. He'd be pissed that Edward and I had been physical a handful of times, but I knew him well enough that he'd understand. I was imaging the lecture he'd give me as I grabbed my jacket and shoved my arms through the sleeves as I ran down the stairs.
My father looked up from the game, instantly suspicious.
"You care if I go and see Jake tonight?" I asked, "I won't stay long."
As soon as I said Jake's name, my father's expression relaxed into a smug smile. He didn't seem surprised at all hat his lecture had taken effect so quickly. "Sure, Peach. No problem. Stay as long as you like."
"Thanks, Dad," I said as I dared out the door.
Like any fugitive, I couldn't help looking over my shoulder a few times while I jogged to my truck, but the night was so black that there was really no point. I had to feel my way along the side of the truck to the handle.
My eyes were just beginning to adjust as I shoved my keys in the ignition. I twisted them hard to the left, but instead of roaring deafeningly to life, the engine clicked. I tried it again with the same results.
And then a small motion in my peripheral vision made me jump.
I gasped and swatted when I saw I was not alone in the cab.
Edward sat very still, a faint bright spot in the darkness, only his hands moving as he turned a mysterious black object around and around. He stared at the object as he spoke.
"Alice called," he muttered.
Alice! Fuck! I'd forgotten to account for her in my plan. He must have had her watching me.
"She got nervous when your future disappeared rather abruptly, five minutes ago."
My eyes, already wide with surprise, popped wider.
"Because she can't see the wolves, you know," he explained in the same low murmur. "Had you forgotten that? When you decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You couldn't know that part, I realize that. But can you understand why that might make me a little…anxious? Alice saw you disappear, and she couldn't even tell if you'd come home or not. Your future got lost, just like theirs.
"We're not sure why this is. Some natural defense they're born with?" He spoke like he was thinking out loud, still looking at the piece of my truck's engine as he twirled it in his hands. "That doesn't seem entirely likely, since I haven't had any trouble reading their thoughts. The Black's at least. Carlisle theorizes that it's because their lives are so ruled by their transformations. It's more an involuntary reaction than a decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything about them. In that instant when they shift from one form to the other they don't really even exist. The future can't hold them…"
I listened to his musing in guilt-ridden stony silence.
"I'll put your car back together in time for school, in case you'd like to drive yourself," he assured me after a minute.
With my lips turned into a frown, I retrieved my keys and swiftly climbed out the truck.
"Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand," he whispered just before I slammed the door.
I stomped into the house, slamming the door, too.
"What's wrong?"
"Truck won't start," I grumbled.
"Want me to look at it?"
"No. I'll try again in the morning."
"Want to use my car?"
I wasn't supposed to drive the cruiser. My father must be desperate to get me to La Push. Nearly as desperate as I was. But the thought of Edward fucking with my dad's police car, effectively stranding us here.
"No. I'm going to go to bed." I grumbled. "Goodnight."
I stamped my way up the stairs, and went straight to my window. I unlocked the frame and placed my hands on the metal frame.
I stared at the black glass for a long moment. He deserved to be kicked out, to be isolated, to be punished. But I could hardly sleep alone anymore. Not when every shadow seemed to wear a cloak or have red hair. Or every gust of wind seemed to whisper my death. So I sighed, and opened the window just a crack to let him know he was welcomed in.
…
Before I'm told that I'm ruining it, I want to remind you that I WANT YEARNING, A LOVE TRIANGLE, AND DRAMA! The next chapter won't be out for a while, but I am planning on updating OWAW and S2WOM in between (patience please). Let me know what you think!