Redmond: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Violet: Killed without hesitation.
Redmond: No.
*Edward and Cheslock are doing something absurdly dangerous*
Edward: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!
Cheslock, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.
Bluewer: You know those things will kill you, right?
Violet, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.
Greenhill, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.
Redmond: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
Edward: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Soma: Okay, but in my defense, Cheslock bet me 50 cents I couldn't drink all that shampoo.
Edward: That's not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
Harcourt: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Cheslock will and will not eat.
Soma: Grass? Yes!
Harcourt: Moss? Yes!
Soma: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Harcourt: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Soma: Worms? Sometimes!
Harcourt: Rocks? Usually nah.
Soma: Twigs? Usually!
Harcourt: Greenill's cooking? Inconclusive!
Edward: How did you… test this?
Harcourt: You just hand him stuff and say 'eat this' and if he eats it, he eats it.
Edward: ... I don't know how to feel about this.
Clayton: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
Edward: Do you take constructive criticism?
Cheslock: I only take cash or credit.
Bluewer: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Greenhill: You need to stop.
Edward, talking to Cheslock on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?
Cheslock: You bet!
Edward: At what temperature?
Cheslock: 535.
Edward: That's the clock.
Cheslock:
Edward:
Cheslock: 536.
*Redmond and Bluewer sitting in jail together*
Bluewer: So who should we call?
Redmond: I'd call Violet, but I feel safer in jail
*The squad is having dinner together*
Clayton: Edward, can you pass the salt?
Edward: *Throws Cheslock across the table*
Store Worker: Would a Mr. Gregory Violet please come to the front desk?
Violet, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: *points to Greenhill and Redmond*
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Greenhill and Redmond, simultaneously: We got lost...
Violet: I didn't even bring you guys here with me-
Harcourt: Hey, Edward...
Edward: Yes?
Harcourt: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's on?
Edward:
Edward: Where's Soma?
Bluewer: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.
Greenhill: Oh, you've been?
Bluewer: Once. In Monopoly.