Guess who's back... back again...
Hey y'all, it's been awhile! Summer's right around the corner, which (with luck) means that I'll have much more time to indulge the swirling storm of insanity from which most of these ideas spawn.
Anyway, new day, new chapter. I was originally planning on splitting this into two or three parts, but my beta liked the idea of each chapter of this story being its own unique tale of insanity with a beginning and ending; We'll see how that plays out in the future, but I did see his point.
As always, let me know what you thought! Comments give me LIFE.
Take care of yourselves, and keep on being FABULOUS.
~Amaratsu
"Gentleman, Glandis," Ozpin pronounced solemnly, looking out over the unnecessarily large table in the staff meeting room, "I must come to you today as the bearer of bad news. In terms of money… we have no money."
The silence that followed was so all encompassing that one could have heard a pin drop, which he did since 2.0's pen had exploded in her hand with the force of a grenade and he was fairly certain that at least one of those pieces was called a pin. "Headmaster." She said slowly, her voice low and deadly, "Could you explain how exactly that came to be? The last time I checked our budget was well balanced."
"Just a little error over in the clothing department. A very inspired individual thought to use some of our leftover budget to outfit the students, brilliantly kind of them, I'm sure you agree. Anyway, there was just a tad less leeway in the budget than that good Samaritan expected, so we'll just need to make a few cuts to get back into the green. Nothing overly difficult, I assure you, I've already taken the liberty of supplying you with a proposal."
Raven 2.0 blinked before her eyes narrowed dangerously, thoughts flying through those emerald orbs faster than a house through twister as she immediately pulled out her scroll and focused in on it. Jitters leaned away from her ever so slightly, a wise reaction considering the fact that his signature yellow tie and admittedly unkempt shirt was already irreversibly stained by the last victim of 2.0's ire. Brothers rest its stationary.
"Aherm, perhaps we should discuss our plans for this year's batch of students?" The Stache threw out with a nervous cough, a courageous attempt to distract 2.0 that Ozpin wouldn't forget.
"An excellent proposition." Ozpin said, giving The Stache a nod, "We have been unfortunately unsuccessful in locating our pilot—Unfortunate, but nerves have gotten the better of many a man—as such we will be resorting to more… traditional means of aerial insertion."
Jitters choked on the sip he'd been taking from his thermos, "Is that wise, Headmaster?" He coughed, pounding a fist against his chest, "Couldn't we just take the path down the cliff?"
"Not without making significant changes to what we had planned." Ozpin said gravely, "As it is, a few changes will already have to be implemented. Considering the fact that we'll be launching them tomorrow morning, I feel that this is the best of the limited options available."
"Evidently." 2.0 murmured dangerously, her green eyes flashing up to fix Ozpin with a suspicious glare. She'd be checking into other methods of insertion no doubt, it really was a shame she couldn't recognize genius for what it was. He smiled genially in return, careful to keep any trace of smugness off his face. Not yet at least.
"I think it just goes to show how reliable of a method it is, whoever thought of must have truly been an individual of both great foresight and wisdom." He preened unashamedly. 2.0's expression twitched noticeably in a tic he kept telling her that she should get examined, but she seemed to fall for his ruse with little suspicion.
Time to lay out the groundwork for the finishing blow.
"It truly is an elegant solution to the problems that plague us." Ozpin declared, puffing up with pride, "Why, with this and a few other simple cuts we'll be more than prepared with the rigors of the coming year."
2.0's eyes widened before darting back towards the budget proposal he'd sent to her scroll. Perfect.
Ozpin disguised the triumphant grin spreading across his face with a delicate sip of nirvana, his eyes sliding closed as her reveled in the taste of perfect caffeinated victory.
"Oh—do add onto that proposal for me, would you? We should really dispose of this overly large table and get a replacement, it's been far too long, I mean really." He lifted a nearby nameplate and gave it a bemused look, "Professor Peach? Did we ever even have someone like that in our employ? Must have been so many years ago that I'd nearly forgotten."
Content in his victory, Ozpin made his way out of the meeting room with a soft chuckle and a kick in his step.
Glynda Goodwitch groaned, reaching up to rub her temples as the door closed behind her current employer, "Can I count on you two to fill in the others?" She asked the only other adults who'd been present.
"You can." Dr. Oobleck said with a tired sigh, reaching out to readjust Professor Peach's nameplate with a soft frown.
"Should I take it that my request to actually change the content of Grimm Studies' curriculum to something useful has been rejected?" Professor Port asked with a low groan.
Glynda's eyes twitched sporadically, "The headmaster," She said, trying desperately to hold onto her composure, "Believes that your anecdotal stories will have a 'profound effect' on the student populace by making learning 'uniquely fun and engaging'."
"That indeed sounds like a no." Professor Port muttered, "When I decided to try my hand at story-telling at that staff meeting, this was not the outcome I'd predicted…"
"Frankly, I'm just impressed you've managed to keep up the act for this long." Dr. Oobleck commented with a yawn, his forehead coming to rest on the tabletop with a soft 'thump', "I highly doubt I could have come up with enough stories from my hunting days to fill more than a few days of classes, much less a years' worth."
"Ahem, er, yes." Professor Port attempted to laugh boisterously, mustache twitching with clear discomfort, "It goes without saying that my overwhelming experience provides me with many excellent stories for use in the classroom."
"Indeed." Their green haired coworker mumbled into the hardwood.
"None of which are fabricated." Port insisted, somewhat desperately.
"Of course, of course, my good man." The good doctor yawned.
Professor Goodwitch eyed the man with some concern, "Will you be quite alright, Bart?" She asked, careful to maintain a professional demeanor and keep the concern out of her voice.
"I'll b'fine." Dr. Oobleck muttered hurriedly, banging his head gently against the desk before shoving himself upright. "Today was supposed to be a slower day, so I didn't think to… imbibe as heavily as normal."
That would explain the man's rather sluggish behavior, Ms. Goodwitch thought with a grimace. Shamefully, she was almost grateful for the change, it made it significantly easier for her to converse with him.
"You don't have to ask me, by the way." Dr. Oobleck continued, rubbing his temples, "I never went through with asking for a change in my curriculum."
Glynda winced in sympathy, "Yes, the headmaster has expressed that he was rather… inspired by your turn of phrase."
"Those who do not learn from history, are bound to repeat it." Oobleck intoned solemnly, "I cannot say that I expected him to take it quite so… literally. Still, I was not raised to back down from a challenge."
"Well, yes… but recounting the entirety of human history is a feat that seems rather… taxing."
"Nonsense, I'm the picture of health!" Oobleck snapped suddenly, "He's a crafty one, that headmaster of ours. He thought to challenge my resolve as a scholar, hold me to my own words, make me a liar! A clever ploy to be sure, but one that I'll overcome with grit and determination; The very essence of what makes humans and Faunus the true masters of Remnant!"
"Right…" Glynda said placating, giving the man a more careful look over. Oobleck almost exclusively looked as if he'd gone several days without sleep—likely because he had in all honesty—but upon closer inspection she could see that the bags under his eyes were threatening to give him a permanent squint. "Bart," She said carefully, "When was the last time you got some rest?"
"There is no rest for the wicked!" Bartholomew declared, blue eyes wide and manic, "And that means we can ill afford any or they'll outwork us!"
Professor Goodwitch sighed, "Professor Port? Please escort Dr. Oobleck to his quarters. It will do us little good to have him seen by the students in such a shape. Make sure he's settled and then deliver the meeting notes to the other professors." She fixed her coworker with a stern glare that had the man snapping to attention despite his clear exhaustion, "Dr. Oobleck, I expect you rested and ready for initiation tomorrow; I will take over your shift for tonight watching over the prospective students." Oobleck made to protest, but Glynda silenced him with a look.
"Good call." Port whispered, nudging him with a chuckle as he helped his friend to his feet. "What in the name of the Brothers were you up to that you came out the other side looking this haggard?" Glynda felt her lip twitch in amusement at the larger man's poorly veiled concern, but she didn't allow the indulgent smile to spread any further than that.
"Something Ozpin mentioned to me the other night…" Oobleck muttered.
Glynda froze.
"Dropped by my office late, wanted my thoughts on some theory that's been making the rounds in the archeological community, something about a civilization that predates everything on Remnant. I myself had considered it, but it just seemed too preposterous… Still, he made some good points—purely playing devil's advocate of course—and I ended up staying up late looking for more information buried in our records…"
Oobleck's voice trailed off as he was gently escorted down the hall, but Glynda's ears strained to catch every word from where she stood rooted in place. The man had no idea just how close to the truth he'd come. Ozpin hadn't been forthcoming about all the details, but she was aware of the fact that Ozpin and Salem had come from a society that predated all traditionally known records.
Why would he mention that to Oobleck? Why now?
The old man was up to something, that much was obvious… And she knew exactly where to start untangling this web.
Even as she stepped out into the hallway, her eyes were already locked onto her scroll and the budget proposal she'd received. It was… surprisingly extensive, it'd take hours for her to puzzle through the whole thing. Still, Deputy Headmistress Glynda Goodwitch wasn't a quitter. Ozpin had been playing his little games for centuries, but she'd be damned before she let him do further damage to their hallowed establishment without putting up a fight. She was the only one who stood a chance at matching the headmaster, the only one who could pull Beacon out of the spiraling hole he'd dug for it. If she had to wade neck deep into the depraved mind-games its errant caretaker so enjoyed, then that was a sacrifice she was willing to make to save them from devastation. She'd worked too long, suffered too long, all for this. She'd have her day in the sun, she'd make sure of it.
As intensely focused as she was, both on the scroll and on her daydreams of a shining future starring Headmistress Glynda Goodwitch, she walked right by the shadowed figure watching from an alcove.
Hook, line, and sinker.
/*/
Qrow didn't generally consider himself to be a lucky man…
Now was no exception.
"Qrow." His sister said, her tone businesslike as she stepped through a portal of swirling inky-red darkness, "I got your message and—what are you doing?"
Qrow Branwen, self-proclaimed ladies' man and arguably one of Vale's most capable hunters, could only gape in silent horror from where he stood with his pants around his and a lonely/willing barmaid laid out on the bed before him. "H-hi sis?" He stammered out, desperately trying to hold onto any shred of suavity, "Fancy seeing you here, I—uh—didn't think you'd respond so quickly?"
Raven just stared at him, one delicate eyebrow climbing higher and higher in her hairline. Qrow cringed internally, but met those red eyes with a solid glare of his own, desperately trying to hold on to the dregs of his battered and beaten dignity.
Something in Raven's eyes shifted and she opened her mouth to respond, which was the moment the barmaid decided to remind the two of them that she was still present with an ear-piercing scream. "Demon!" She shrieked, terrified eyes flicking wildly between his sister's blood red eyes and the—admittedly hellish—portal she'd emerged from.
"No wait—" Qrow tried, reaching out to try and calm the frightened woman.
The barmaid's eyes widened and she slapped his hand aside, face going white as she focused on his own ruddy red eyes, "Incubus…" She gasped.
"Only in his dreams." Raven snorted.
"Ray!" Qrow shrieked, appropriately scandalized, "Don't listen to her she's just being—" His next words were cut off with a choke as his prospective partner beaned him over the head with a pillow—which promptly revealed a previously unknown rip in its lining and burst all over him in an explosion of downy feathers.
As the metaphorical dust—and literal feathers—settled, Qrow could only sigh despondently as he listened to the terrorized screams of the sweet woman he'd spent the last hour and a half getting to know fade into the distance. "You did that on purpose." He accused hollowly around a mouthful of feathers.
"Oh please." Raven snorted, idly waving away a floating piece of down with a sneer, "We both know which of our semblances is responsible for this mess."
Was it telling that he didn't argue? Qrow decided that he didn't care that much as he made a futile attempt to pick the remnants of the pillow out of his hair, mouth, shirt—his everywhere. He tried to pull the feathers out of his everywhere.
"Put your pants on Qrow." Raven drawled, sounding remarkably bored considering the outrageous (but disturbingly common) statement that had passed her lips.
Qrow glared at her with all the ferocity that a humiliated, pants-less man could muster as he gathered up what remained of his dignity to pull up his trousers. It wasn't a pleasant experience; feathers poked and prodded him in places no feathers ever should, and he didn't even bother to try and close them around the downy mass that bulged out comically as he sat on the down-covered and sheetless bed. "Don't you usually make me wait forever before finally deigning to show up?" He complained bitterly, "Some stupid bull about needing to look all proud and independent?"
His sister simply shrugged one armored shoulder, clearly unbothered by his ire, "I had some free time. I figured I'd do you a favor by not using up so much of yours; If anything, you should be thanking me for being so thoughtful."
Qrow glanced at the door that was still hanging open and the trail of down leading out of it, "Thanks." He said flatly.
"You're quite welcome, little brother." His twin sister replied, her voice poisonously sweet, "Now what was it that you needed? As much as I enjoy our little chats, we both know that I'm a little less generous with my patience than I've been with my time."
Qrow scowled at her, but found that he couldn't quite meet her eyes as he made his admission: "Amber was attacked."
Raven stiffened, which was a good thing really. His sister was most dangerous when she was relaxed; A relaxed Raven was getting ready to draw her blade in a liquid arc of steel and dust, so he'd take stiff any day. "Was she." She stated neutrally, "I take it that since you said 'attacked' instead of 'killed' that the attack wasn't successful?"
Qrow was silent and he felt the force of his sister's eyes as they drilled into his skull. What would be the best way to answer that question without ending the day with a fight? His time ran out along with Raven's patience to the harsh rasp of a blade being drawn a few inches out of its sheath. "Dust, Raven, keep your pants on." He snapped, "This isn't easy to explain!"
"Isn't it now?" Raven murmured, her voice a dangerous purr. Crimson eyes met crimson eyes, and Raven's narrowed, "Weren't you playing guard dog? What, did your semblance kick in in the middle of battle?"
Qrow wouldn't lie, despite everything his sister had done, that one hurt a little. "Lay off Ray," He snarled, shooting to his feet and getting nose to nose with his sister, "At least I do my job!"
"Your job." Raven whispered venomously, crimson eyes burning like hellfire, "One I want nothing more to do with."
The two of them stayed like that for a moment—a silent showdown that was more familiar than any form of sibling rapport—before Raven scoffed dismissively, "This is a waste of my time."
"They took something from her." Qrow called out after her as his sister backed away towards her portal, taking childish satisfaction in the way she stilled at his words, "I'm not sure how, but one of 'em got their hands on Amber and was pulling something out. She's been in a coma ever since."
Raven was silent for a time, but Qrow knew enough about his sister to catch just the edges of a few of the thoughts lurking behind those bloody eyes. Raven was worried, even if she'd never admit it, even if she'd never ask for help. There was little love lost between the two of them now days, she'd burned too many of her bridges for that, but when push came to shove she was still his sister; He'd not leave her in the dark if he didn't have to.
It was the unspoken truth behind their little meetings, disguised under layers of intrigue and distrust that made it palatable for everyone involved. Raven could pretend that she was only being passed information such as the identities of the maidens because they didn't want her attacking them, and they could pretend that it was solely so that she could keep an eye on any that wandered into her area. It wasn't the strongest of lies, but it was what they had; It was what they were comfortable with.
Qrow would never forgive her for what she'd done, he couldn't, not when he loved the little firecracker as fiercely as if she'd been one of his own; But he couldn't truly hate his sister, not when it had been the two of them against the world for most of their lives.
"Who was it." Raven stated bluntly, breaking Qrow out of his thoughts.
He scrambled to collect himself, to not show a moment of weakness that might tip her off as to nature of his thoughts. She'd never had much patience for sentimentality. "I'm not sure." He admitted, raising a hand to forestall her snarling objection before it could fully form, "One of them had some kind of semblance that cloaked them. I couldn't get much more than a glance before they managed to hide any defining features, and I was a little more concerned with Amber's condition."
"So not only did you let them get away, but you also have no idea who they are or where they may strike next." Raven summarized icily, her voice dripping with contempt.
Qrow bristled, "If you have a problem with how things were handled, you're more than welcome to take a crack at it yourself. But we both know that's never going to happen, is it?" He was wandering into dangerous territory and he knew it, but Raven's hypocritical condescension was really getting under his skin. As bad as he felt about what had happened, she was the last person on Remnant he wanted criticizing his decisions.
Raven's lips thinned, but her hand stayed by her side as she sent Qrow a pointed glare. "You're treading on dangerous ground." She warned lowly.
"At least one of us is." He replied evenly.
Raven snorted, but let the comment pass, "Where is the Maiden recovering? Have you taken proper precautions to ensure her survival?"
Qrow grimaced, "She's not." He admitted, "Oz thinks her attackers managed to snag some of her powers, apparently pulled out a good portion of her soul. She's basically a vegetable in the basement of Beacon."
Raven's mouth fell open, a rare sign of emotion from his usually stoic sister, "They did what?!"
"They drained her. She's missing most of her aura, and a good chunk of the Maidenhood with it."
"Kill her." Raven snapped immediately, catching Qrow off guard with her ferocity, "Perhaps if we pass on her powers now we can snap them right back out of her attackers."
"No!" Qrow shouted, alarmed, but Raven rounded on him in an instant.
"Is this more of your sentimental bullshit shining through?" She snarled, crimson eyes flashing like bloody knives as she abruptly began pacing the small room Qrow had rented.
"It's rationality!" He shot back, finally grabbing her attention, "The one draining her was a woman, I know that much for sure! Who do you think the powers will go to when she's gone? Even if they don't get dragged back to the person holding half of them, what are the odds that the last person Amber's mind was focused on won't be her attacker?"
Raven stilled once more. "Fine. I can see why you'd hesitate." She admitted, "But at least tell me why in the name of Oum is she being kept at Beacon?"
Qrow blinked, "Why wouldn't she be?"
Raven threw her hands up in the air in agitation, "Maybe because that's literally the first place anyone would look for her?!"
Qrow scoffed, "She'll be plenty safe there. Salem would have to launch an attack on the entirety of Vale to do anything to Beacon, and that's not even considering the fact the Oz himself is there to dissuade anyone from trying anything."
Raven shot him a venomous look, "Qrow." She said shortly, "It's Ozpin. He's been trying and failing to stop Salem for centuries, and that's if he's been trying at all. He'll fail again, and Beacon will fall."
"He's also way more powerful than he has any right to be." Qrow stated with a raised eyebrow, "He's put a lot of effort into Beacon, mostly its coffee machines but still. I don't think he's just going to let them burn it to the ground without putting up a fight."
"Qrow, he burns his office down every few months."
Qrow waved a magnanimous hand, "Aside from that."
"Right." Raven said, not sounding the least bit convinced, "How long ago did this happen, exactly?"
"It's been a bit." Qrow admitted with a shrug, "I thought Oz was waiting to know more before he let you in on it. Not sure why he got so insistent on you being informed all of a sudden when we'd learned nothing new, but I can't say I disagree with having more eyes on the lookout."
Raven glanced away, her expression unreasonable, "I see." She said, her tone neutral.
Qrow sighed, he'd known from the start that his sister wouldn't be convinced to return and fight the good fight, but he'd delivered the message as requested. Still, he couldn't leave it like this. He owed her that much.
"If that's all, I'll take my leave." Raven murmured, her crimson eyes focused on something off in the distance as she turned back towards her portal.
"She was accepted into Beacon by the way." He said.
Raven stilled, but Qrow caught the red flash of one of her eyes for just a heartbeat. "Then you'd better hope she's wiser than you, lest Ozpin take her down with him as well." She said quietly before vanishing into the swirling darkness.
Qrow let out a long breath, abruptly feeling exhausted, before allowing himself to fall backwards into the bed with a satisfying 'thwump'. He couldn't say he was in the mood to do much else today, meetings with his sister tended to leave him like that, and he'd rented the damn room so why not? He'd earned a lazy day, and who was to say? Perhaps he'd have some luck in a different tavern later in the evening…
The door to his room burst open, revealing a stoic looking priest with a mighty scowl. "That's him, that's the beast!" His last case of 'luck' sobbed, pointing at him with terrified eyes from where she cowered behind the man.
"Bwuh." Qrow parried the accusation eloquently, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth as he tried to process.
"Brother's preserve us, the beast is already speaking in tongues…" The priest exclaimed, causing the woman to cry out in horror and despair. This couldn't end well without an explanation, one he refused to give while sprawled out on a bed covered in the massacred remains of a pillow. Qrow shot to his feet, desperately trying to think of something that could tide this all over, when he remembered that he'd never bothered to buckle his pants. His semblance was in top form and it hadn't forgotten, choosing that moment to reveal a bird of an entirely different nature (and name) in an explosion of feathers and down.
"Fascinating…" The priest murmured, eyes unflinchingly focused below Qrow's navel, "I'd heard incubi could take on animal features, but I was rather hoping it'd be more… equine in nature."
Qrow sputtered at that shocking admission, and his erstwhile sweetheart flushed slightly, "Er, actually, that might be from when I made my escape."
Qrow would have kissed the woman if that wouldn't have been massively inappropriate considering the situation they were in. "Exactly!" He said hurriedly, taking a step forward while being careful to keep his hands clearly visible, "This is all just a big misunderstanding pal."
"Back demon!" The priest boomed, his hand shooting into his clothing and coming out clutching a symbol of his faith. He evening sun caught on the polished silver, reflecting painfully into Qrow's eyes and making him flinch slightly. "Yes… you fear this don't you, demon?" The man stated, licking his lips in anticipation, "You'll get no quarter from me, beast, I'll not let you use your multiple writhing appendages to penetrate anyone tonight!"
Qrow's mouth opened and closed soundlessly, a look he shared with the startled woman who was staring at the man like he'd revealed himself to be a Grimm in disguise.
"Oh dear." The priest said slowly, making very deliberate eye contact, "I seem to have… dropped my protective amulet."
The silver dropped to the floor with an ominous tinkle.
"I'll just have to slowly bend over to pick it up." The man said, his breath coming rapidly as he stepped over the pendant before turning his back on Qrow.
The woman behind him met Qrow's eyes and shook her head rapidly, 'I'm so sorry!' she mouthed.
Glass shattered from the third story window as Qrow took the valorous way out.
/*/
Nothing. There was nothing in the budget proposal, nothing especially egregious anyway. Some of the proposed ideas were actually fairly good, which had been so jarring to discover that she'd wasted a rather inordinate amount of time trying to find the razor blades in those particular candy apples.
Still, to find nothing after so much time—after so much effort—she wasn't sure what to think. It certainly didn't help that she'd been forced to spend her time juggling her duties watching over the children while laboriously pouring over her scroll, especially when she'd started to feel the beginnings of a migraine forming after the first hour. She'd powered through, however, she always did. It was a shame all her effort hadn't yielded much fruit. Ozpin must have put a significant amount of thought into the budget, he'd even gone so far as to set a portion of it aside to order the security measures Ironwood had been pushing for and new uniforms for the students to take some of the financial pressure of their backs.
Fighting back a tired yawn, Miss Goodwitch set her scroll aside for the moment. She'd discovered over the course of the night that Ozpin had already sent in orders for portions of the budget—something that had only further fueled her paranoia—but aside from a few notes she'd already submitted she couldn't find anything that really stood out.
Taking a break to lean against a nearby wall, Miss Goodwitch took a blessed moment of respite to rub her pounding temples. She was still in her prime, but it was hardly healthy for anyone to pull an all-nighter and she'd be lying if she claimed she didn't feel the effects of it. Still, she reflected as she made her way to her quarters, it perhaps hadn't been the best idea to spend a solid portion of her shift squinting blearily at her scroll; She couldn't remember having this much trouble focusing her vision after other nights spent working.
Opening the door that led into her office—her living quarters lay just beyond—she let a little of the tension she habitually carried around with her bleed out with a long sigh. Finally isolated from the world outside her doors and free to let her hair down, she did just that. She'd have to fix it up later before stepping out to meet the students for initiation anyway, and she hoped that letting it out of its tight curl might bring with it some welcome relief. She'd have to move quickly however, Ozpin might have had few compunctions about being 'fashionably late', but he waited for no one. Still, she had time for a spot of tea to keep herself awake—she'd never be caught dead imbibing in that nightmare fuel her boss put in his body—and Glynda wasted little time entering her rooms to get started.
Her personal rooms were modestly decorated, she didn't make much of a habit of spending much time there after all, but they were far from being barren of personal belongings. She wasted little time making her way over to one such example and set about making her tea.
A flash of reflected light caught her attention.
Slowly, disbelievingly, dull green eyes turned to regard the pair of spectacles sitting innocuously on her nightstand. A pair of glasses that, by all rights, she had been convinced until now were sitting squarely atop her nose.
"No…" She whispered, her tone betraying her shocked disbelief even as her eyes gave another incriminating ache, "He didn't…"
He had. She couldn't tell the difference without switching back and forth a few times, but only one of the glasses had her exact prescription. The other had most certainly been altered.
Every ache of her head, every second of eyestrain flashed through her mind and she found herself grinding her teeth hard enough that her jaw added its own unique ache to the list.
He'd played her, sought to get her tired, make it difficult to focus.
Something Ozpin mentioned to me the other night… Bart's voice drifted across her mind.
Glynda cursed abruptly, so that's why he'd paid their other resident caffeine junkie a visit. All to leave her disoriented an exhausted, all to keep her off-balance, how long had this plan been in motion?!
The budget proposal. There had to be something there after all, something that she missed. She'd checked over the first and last section before giving up and making her way down the document piece by piece, but she must have missed something. She yanked her scroll from her pocket and began to go through it feverishly, desperate for something to stand out and reveal the truth.
Nothing. There was nothing standing out to her.
Fine.
Desperate times called for desperate measures.
Ozpin was arguably a smart man, but he was also distracted and disorganized. She'd had to help him break back into his own accounts often enough to be able to log into those accounts herself. It shamed her to lean on such ignominious measures, but the bastard had swapped out her glasses and she wasn't exactly feeling generous.
Nothing.
Glynda stared disbelievingly at her screen, feeling as if the floor had fallen out from under her. It wasn't possible, he had to have been planning something. There was nothing useful in his mail, nothing out of the ordinary. It even looked like he'd gotten the invoice for those uniforms they'd wanted, a fair price for that many uniforms if she thought about it—
Wait.
Beacon had an official account for those purchases, something from which the invoice should have been forwarded. Why had he been the first—and only—recipient?
Heart pounding, Glynda opened the attachment and went over the data. The majority of the cost seemed to come from several copies of just over half a dozen outfits. The rest was made up of hundreds of pairs of cheap socks.
Glyda stared at her scroll, feeling numb. The uniforms had been the one thing she hadn't viewed with much suspicion, that and the camera's Ironwood had recommended.
Why?
Was he planning on some Brother's awful cosplay again? What was going on? She'd been pouring over these documents for hours and it felt like it was all just one huge—
A notification popped up on her scroll warning her that initiation started in just a few minutes
…Distraction.
It was only when she'd made use of her semblance to get herself to the initiation site double-quick that she realized that she'd failed to look into any other methods they could use to avoid having to rely on Ozpin's insane launch pads.
/*/
As Ozpin started to explain how initiation would work, Professor Goodwitch wasted little time looking through the files on her tablet. Her role in their current task was minimal at best and she'd had the details memorized for weeks. Students were tasked with retrieving 'relics': metal balls that were hooked up to recognize the personal scroll each initiate had been granted access to. Each student would be paired up with a partner based on the first two people to make contact with them. It always surprised and worried students to realize that they'd be receiving a partner on their first day, and today was no exception.
Unfortunately, she was in for a surprise of her own.
She'd said her line about same day pairings, the bomb she'd dropped on just about every class that'd proceeded them, when Ozpin spoke up to inform the students that they'd be partnered with the first person they made eye contact with. Professor Goodwitch blinked, her eyes immediately darting to her tablet which was cheerily showing all the relics as perfectly active and waiting to be retrieved. This wasn't part of the script, which meant that Ozpin had finally made his move.
What was his game? She had little doubt that most of the students present thought this was just a lazy excuse to avoid having to put any thought into partnering people together, but they didn't know Ozpin like she did. The man was a control freak, obsessive in his own fickle, whimsical way. The only question was just how precisely this benefitted him. Professor Goodwitch remained still as Ozpin laid out a set of instructions they most certainly hadn't discussed before, hiding her mounting frustration behind a practiced façade of indifference. Inside, however, her mind was racing, pulling bits and pieces together at a frantic rate in a desperate attempt to connect the pieces of a madman's puzzle.
"Are there any questions?" Ozpin finished with bored expression.
"Yeah—um—sir…?" A scraggly blonde said, raising his hand hesitantly.
"Good." Ozpin steamrolled over the boy, making the scrawny blonde cringe into his ill-fitting armor. "Now, take your positions."
Professor Goodwitch watched with trepidation as the students readied themselves, falling into poses that ranged from well-balanced and prepared to some odd judo stance that she couldn't for the life of her figure out the purpose of. All except the blonde boy, who nervously raised his hand once more. "Um, sir…? I've got," He swallowed nervously, eyeing the sheer drop before them with obvious trepidation, "A question…"
What was the old man thinking? The eye-contact pairings, the strange directions, the only way he could possibly take advantage of that would be if—
Ozpin faced the blonde student with a bland expression and a noncommittal hum, one hand cradling his coffee as his other stayed firmly behind his back; Reprogramming the launch pad's directional settings on the scroll he'd hidden there.
…If he had some way of deciding where the students would land.
A pad fired, sending a white-haired figure she recognized as Miss Schnee flying off somewhere to the East. The blonde boy jolted in place at the suddenness of it, casting a panicked glance in that direction before turning back to the headmaster with a nervous smile. "So this landing strategy… thing, what is it? You're, like, dropping us off or something?"
It was coming together, had it all been a bluff hiding the truth? Ozpin's real goal must have been to keep her too busy to think of replacing his 'inspired' idea to reutilize those horrid launch pads… but to what ends? Nimble fingers flew across her tablet as she pulled up the surveillance app.
"No." Ozpin said, his tone bored, "You will be falling." Another pad went off, this time sending the student far off to the West; Where initiation was supposed to be held.
Professor Goodwitch bit the inside of her lip hard as her eyes scanned over the data. Every launch pad except seven had kept their original programming; The seven that had been altered all had their settings changed to launch the students off towards the old ruins that were often used for exercises for the upper-classmen.
"Oh." The blonde said, scratching his hair in what she quickly identified as a nervous tic, "I… see… So did you, like, hand out parachutes for us?" Red haired cut through the air like a blade as Miss Nikos' wide green eyes found the boy. Professor Goodwitch, distracted as she was, couldn't help looking up at that. The Champion gave Ozpin a panicked look, her mouth opening to say something, but was cut off by her own launch pad as it sent her flying.
To the East.
The majority of the cost seemed to come from several copies of just over half a dozen outfits.
Professor Goodwitch cursed bitterly in her head, fingers flying as she pulled up the names of the students on the pads even as Ozpin gave the boy a distracted reply she didn't fully listen to. It didn't take her long to recognize the name of one Miss Ruby Rose, the prodigy student Ozpin had shown such unique interest in whose launch pad was pointed inexplicably East. In an instant, Glynda knew what she had to do, the old man had outplayed her at every turn, she was aware of that, but he'd made a mistake. Ozpin had taken great pains to keep his plans for the launch pads hidden, going so far as to reprogram them on-site to prevent anyone from catching wind of his deception, but that in of itself revealed the importance of that one step. She wasn't positive exactly what he had in mind, but whatever it was required Miss Rose to be launched to the East.
He may have outthought her, outplayed her, and outplanned her, but she didn't need a plan to brute force a hole in the twisted web he'd wove around them all.
Professor Goodwitch reached out with her semblance, wrapping Beacon's youngest applicant in a cocoon of invisible energy. All she had to do was alter the girl's direction as soon as she was fired and Ozpin's plan would fall apart.
All she had to do was betray those hopeful eyes that had stared up at her with naked admiration and longing from an interrogation room after fighting side by side to beat back a threat to Vale.
"I'm sorry Miss Rose." Glynda whispered, nothing more than a ghost's breath passing her lips, "Should the worst happen, I swear to have you first on our list of applicants when you graduate Signal."
Professor Goodwitch steeled herself, even as Glynda pulled up the student profiles to spare one last glance down at the girl she was about to pull into their twisted games; One last glance at those hopeful silver eyes.
ERROR
Glynda blinked, her eyes darting towards the entry directly under Miss Rose's. A blonde boy smiled goofily at the camera, eyes shining with excitement over an aura monitor that was returning a consistent error reading.
No.
Emerald eyes swam before her vision, eyes filled with a sudden suspicion that never had the chance to be voiced.
It was impossible, there was no way they could miss something like this.
"Uh, huh, yeah…" Jaune Arc said with a lost expression.
Surely it would have showed up on his transcipts—
Glynda released her hold on Miss Rose and desperately worked to weave her power around the boy, but she was flustered and panicked, she wouldn't make it in time to yank him to safety!
Phantom green eyes drilled into her, copper circlet glinting in the sunlight as Pyrrha Nikos opened her mouth to point out what the adults should have noticed.
Jaune Arc was speaking even as his launch pad sent him flying towards certain death in the West, the foolish boy utterly unwilling to surrender and admit his deception even in the face of such overwhelming odds. At least it would have, had her power not solidified in one final burst as Glynda utterly refused to accept the reality that rose up to meet the boy. A shockingly high pitch shriek rang out over the Emerald forest as the boy suddenly curved in the air, leaving her range of control and cutting a path East towards where she desperately hoped Miss Nikos was waiting.
/*/
Ozpin took a sip of coffee with a raised eyebrow as he watched one of the rejects get launched in what was most certainly the wrong direction. "Well that was rude." He said mildly.
"That boy had no Aura!" Raven 2.0 raged, her face flushing with anger. She really needed to work on that temper of hers.
"Really?" Ozpin blinked, taking another relaxed sip as he eyed the direction the poor sap had been launched in, "Might as well add him to the advanced course now, then."
"This is no time for jokes!"
"I'll say, what were you thinking throwing him into the deepest part of the forest like that? It's far too dangerous for an unprotected lad like him."
2.0 seemed to take offense to his rather on-point criticism, her power rushing towards him like a freight train. Ozpin, knowing his priorities, dropped his cane in favor of protecting his coffee mug with both hands as he was launched over the side of the cliff and dangled over the multi-story drop. "You son of a bitch!" His secretary spat, green eyes flashing with rage as she ground her teeth together in that way he kept telling her was bad for her dental health.
How unfortunate, this was why he couldn't ask her to take over the academy and pursue his dreams of opening up a roastery, the poor woman was clearly in desperate need of direction if she let her emotions so overwhelm her. Time to break out the big guns. "My dear Miss Gladwich, I'm quite disappointed in you for letting your emotions rage out of control like this. I've never met this body's mother, but I'm sure the poor woman was quite distraught to learn that her comatose son's body had disappeared from the hospital. You shouldn't speak about her so, I'm quite certain she's been through enough by now."
He really had meant to go back and sort that out one day, but when he'd awoken from his previous life in a body that had already lacked a mind he hadn't really seen the point in going through all the drama when the alternative was so much… simpler.
2.0 faltered, and for a rather disconcerting moment the power keeping him aloft flickered, "You WHAT?!" She shrieked.
"Goodness, I'm right here." Ozpin said irritably, reaching up to rub one of his ears with a wince, "Use your indoor voice Glandy… Or, well, I suppose at least a quieter outdoor one."
"No, no, ignoring that. Stick to what's important." 2.0 muttered to herself (didn't she know speaking to herself wasn't healthy?) before fixing him with a fiery glare, "What's going on here Ozpin?"
"You mean you haven't put it together yet?" Ozpin said, bringing his mug up to take another casual sip. Being held aloft by psychic energy was actually quite comfortable, it turned out, perhaps he'd have to ask her for a repeat one of these days…
"You sent students far away from the initiation site." 2.0 ground out.
"Hmm? Oh. Well, yes." Ozpin muttered distractedly, "I could hardly risk cross contamination with the students, you know."
Apparently she did not.
Ozpin sighed, goodness, but he thought he'd taught her better. Oh well, there was nothing for it, she'd learn best by seeing a great mind in action. He couldn't just leave her be after unleashing the devastation of playing the 'disapointed' card on her, after all. A good employer built up their employees after breaking them down. "I appreciate you little attempts to keep an old man sharp Goodlywarb," He said kindly, "But goodness I thought you'd come further than this with all the games we've played."
2.0's tic was back on full display, but he figured education should come first and chose to ignore it. "It's quite simple, really, I just needed to keep your attention occupied for a short period of time; All to make one little change."
"The directions, your instructions…" 2.0 muttered.
"Ah, yes." Ozpin said with an encouraging smile, "Excellent, you begin to see it. A relic is, definitionally speaking, an object surviving from an earlier time, especially one of historical or sentimental interest. I believe you'll agree that the spheres we commissioned from Atlas earlier this summer most certainly do not fall into that category. This exercise is meant to test our initiates on their ability to listen and follow commands they received before going to the field. Any initiates who demonstrate that they allowed their eagerness to show off or slay Grimm obstruct their ability to follow commands have already demonstrated that they are not yet ready to attend this hallowed academy."
A reasonable explanation, if he did say so himself.
"The uniforms…" 2.0 whispered, "You only planned to pass seven students from the start…"
"Oh, no, no." Ozpin deflected with a small smile, "I believe you'll find that those came from a different budget meant to help students with financial needs. Miss Ren and Miss Valkyrie most certainly needed it.
"It was right in front of me the whole time…"
"Yes." Ozpin said proudly, "I believe you'll find that the best way to hide a trap is with the truth. I laid enough breadcrumbs to get you on my trail, all to distract you from the real trap as it snaked its way closed. A truly impressive display, I know, I'll have you know that I'm quite proud of you for setting up such a delightful exchange. You do an old man proud."
"You… you…!" 2.0 growled, no doubt stunned into silence by the magnificence of his plan.
"We have a problem!" Jitter's voice interrupted their tender moment, sounding stressed, "Several massive Grimm have cropped up, they're all heading East towards something, and there's a group of initiates directly in the way!"
"Oh goodness, they must have honed in on that poor boy you flung into the forest." Ozpin said, taking another a casual sip of coffee, "I had wondered if anyone hadn't heard his shrieking." He paused, furrowing his brow at his cup as a sudden thought hit him, "Are you sure his Aura wasn't unlocked? I don't see how he could have gotten in without it. Besides, with that lung capacity there's a fairly good chance he's got quite the endurance…"
"I need backup!" Jitters reminded them urgently, "I'm holding most of the Grimm back, but there's one going after a team of boys! I can't protect all these students alone!"
"Mark them down for the advanced course." Ozpin suggested helpfully.
"RARRGH!" 2.0 roared, releasing her hold on him as she streaked across the sky towards her beleaguered colleague like a comet.
"Rude." Was all Ozpin could say as he plummeted towards the forest floor below, hands coming up to cover his mug protectively as the treetops rushed up to meet him.
/*/
Jaune Arc didn't generally consider himself to be a lucky guy; Sure, it could be argued that managing to get admitted into the single greatest learning institution for Huntsman without the requisite training or even Aura was an incredibly lucky feat, however, anyone who claimed such would be ignoring the lengths he'd gone through to secure the paperwork that had slipped him in under the radar. AClockworkOrange must have been a master of subtlety, the kind of guy that worked a simple nine-to-five on the surface while being some kind of secret hacker hero as night fell. He really owed that guy big time, enough to apologize for maybe being so nervous that it wouldn't work that he'd utterly forgotten to plan for how he'd actually make it through initiation.
Anyway, Jaune didn't normally consider himself super lucky, but as he made his way to the stage beside his new teammates with an ear-splitting grin after surviving certain death he had to send a little thank you to whatever beings were watching over him. Not only had he made it through initiation, he'd somehow managed to befriend a girl who had to be, like, the single strongest girl on the planet. At least he thought so going by the way she'd fought. She'd mentioned something about being a celebrity, but he could only really remember that she'd been on Pumpkin Pete's, although that definitely made her the coolest girl in their year. He was certain she'd make a great leader for their team, she was clearly beyond incredible! It was honestly a little intimidating having such incredible teammates, but he knew in his heart of hearts that they'd be fine following Pyrrha—or even that Ren guy, he seemed to have his head on straight—for their years at Beacon. The future was looking bright.
"Led by Jaune Arc!" The headmaster announced, cruelly shattering his dreams even as Pyrrha shattered his arm with an excited punch to the shoulder.
He took it all back, whatever being was watching over him clearly wanted him dead.
As he walked off the stage in a daze, panic starting to course its sinister way through his veins, he vaguely heard the scary Professor make an announcement that another team of boys (Cardinal, he thought?) would be let in on a special exception for courageously distracting an elder Grimm to keep it away from other initiates. His heart plummeted, with powerhouses like his teammates and heroes like that team, what chance did he stand?!
"Well played, Galligahn." A voice commented from beside him, making him start in fright, "I really didn't expect her to pull such an obscure exception to get around my rules."
"P-P-P-P-P" Jaune stammered incoherently, staring with terrified eyes at the very man who'd just doomed him.
"Yes, it is I, little James boy; Ozpin, headmaster of this prodigious academy." The silver haired hero winked one eye jauntily at him, "But please, you can just call me Ozpin."
"Yes sir." Jaune responded automatically, "I, James, will call you that."
"Good to hear, John my boy." The headmaster said, making Jaune almost choke in terror, "I suppose you're wondering about my choice of leadership for your team?" Did he dare admit it? Was this some sort of convoluted trap?! Fortunately for Jaune's fizzling mind, the headmaster apparently did not need his input to carry on the conversation. "You see, Jim, you impressed me. I had you marked down for the advanced course for sure, even went so far as to draft up the email, but then you emerged from the forest with a conquest already under your belt."
"It was a team effort, sir!" Jaune squeaked, desperate to pass the blame—er—the responsibility on, before the rest of what Ozpin said drifted down through the layers of fear and paranoia clouding his frantic mind. "Uh, wait, the advanced course?"
"Hmm?" The headmaster said distractedly, eyes gazing off into the distance dreamily, "Oh, yes, it's like the normal class, except no one is allowed to contact you until after your training is complete in four years. A genius idea from my previous secretary, very legal, I assure you, totally spy training stuff and the like probably."
Jaune's mouth fell open, "Bwuh?" He said intelligently.
The headmaster tutted disapprovingly, "But that's old news my boy, old news. We're on to bigger and better things now. I was worried, I'll admit it, but then I saw a beacon of hope emerge when you returned from the Emerald Forest."
Despite himself, Jaune felt a trickle of pride flow through him, did the headmaster really mean that? It was all he'd really ever wanted, to be accepted, to be allowed to be the hero he knew he could be. If headmaster Ozpin believed in him, maybe he could believe in himself too…
"Yes, one girl conquered, and the other two well on their way…" Ozpin murmured, patting Jaune on the shoulder proudly.
Jaune's mind screeched to a halt. "I'msorrycomeagain?"
"It's quite simple my dear boy." Ozpin said genially, "I've already locked down the Moe element for my dream project, all I was missing was the harem protagonist. I was disappointed by the yield, I'll admit it! But I really should have counted on a 'Blonde bastard coming through' as Qrow is so fond of saying."
Jaune felt the ground swaying up to meet him, although he had to give whatever being watching over him credit for coming up with a whole new nightmare he'd never even thought to fear. "I… I don't…"
"Yes my boy, that naivety, that sheer loveable denseness, you'll be perfect! I really need to thank Glendis for finding you."
"Thank you, sir." Jaune said blankly, vision swimming dangerously. He vaguely took notice of Pyrrha's concerned look from where his team was waiting for him across the hall.
"Ah, I see that I've taken you from her long enough." Ozpin said with a wink, "Well then, off you trot. Oh, do be sure to work your charms on Miss Lie Ren next, everyone enjoys a reserved beauty with an exotic flare. Just remember to keep it PG! A protagonist like yourself can see, but never touch! I wouldn't want to have to expel you after all!"
Jaune nodded dumbly, desperate to do anything to end this conversation. If he'd known that the headmaster was a raving lunatic he'd never have thought to apply! It was one thing to think that Ren was a girl—forgivable, really, sorry Ren—but to think he stood a chance with Pyrrha?! Madness. Sheer madness.
"Well, I guess I don't need to worry about talking to girls anymore…" He said, voice sounding somewhat hysterical even to him, "The good 'ol Arc charm might actually come in handy…" Just not for what his father seemed to be under the mistaken impression it was actually for.
So, updated goals, yeah. Somehow manage to pass himself off as a normal student long enough to get his… underdeveloped skills up to snuff, and stay girlfriendless long enough to avoid immediate termination. He had great confidence in his ability to do one of those two things.
/*/
He was screwed. Well and truly screwed.
He supposed that it was irony, in a sense, that after managing to hide from the Grimm just long enough to come within a stone's throw of the cliffs of Beacon that a group of initiates would be the ones to pound the last nail into his coffin. It had seemed a sensible decision at the time, taking shelter in the only man-made structure for miles to wait for rescue, and it'd even had the added benefit of being suspended over a massive chasm to throw off the trail he knew the Grimm were following. When he'd poked his head out in time to see a group of brightly dressed teens engage in combat with an absolutely massive Nevermore and Deathstalker, he'd made the sensible decision to lay low and wait for fight to wrap up before calling out for aid.
A foolish decision.
The Nevermore must have seen him, it'd certainly seemed to take great pleasure in shattering the temple where he'd taken cover in an utterly unnecessary attack that'd had the added benefit of destabilizing his shelter enough to send him plummeting into the depths below. As he'd fallen towards certain death, he'd watched the initiates pull some freaking action movie bullshit to escape certain death and done the only thing he could think to do.
Beacon's resident pilot had given the gods, the girls, and especially Ozpin both middle fingers before surrendering himself to his fate.
Perhaps he needn't have been so hasty. A branch had caught him, snagging onto what remained of his harness and bringing him up short with a jerk that had left him dazed and confused just long enough for several pink explosions to send a black shape plummeting down past him, a stray rock having the suspiciously good fortune to crack the branch he hung to and give him the perfect amount of time to scramble for a better handhold before having his salvation slip from between his grasp like his last relationship.
He had a brief moment to consider that that particular thought was quite the one to go out on before the ground cheerily rose up to greet him.
Pincers flashed, white bone standing out even in the muddy light at the bottom of the canyon as a heavily injured and immensely pissed off Deathstalker sought to snap him out of the air. He'd never be sure if the beast was just too exhausted or too injured to do it properly, but the reasons mattered little when its claw didn't quite snap shut fast enough as the Deathstalker managed to turn most of his downward momentum into sideways momentum and send him flying across the canyon floor. Rocks and broken stones bit into his skin as he pinwheeled across the ground, rolling to a stop nearly fifteen meters away and significantly worse for wear.
He'd never know how long he lay there, drifting in and out of consciousness and listening to his own shaky breaths as stones continued to clack down from above. Eventually, however, he managed to roll himself over just enough to make out the creature he now shared living space with. The Deathstalker wasn't going anywhere, its carapace shattered in multiple places and its legs all but useless beneath it. He watched in mute fascination as it made another what must have been long running series of attempts to struggle to its feet and finish him off before it collapsed to the earth with a long hiss.
So they both weren't going anywhere anytime soon; He didn't need to doctor to tell him that.
Things couldn't get much worse, could they?
Somewhere nearby, a coyote howled.
Uh oh.