Read The Fine Print

by MisterHalt

Shinji has a penpal when growing up, and trades his soul to them for chocolate as a joke. Not so funny when it turns out he needs it to be an eligible pilot. Formerly You Should (Not) Sign Weird Contracts.

2. Ch2 - It's a Surprise!

Chapter 2 - It's a Surprise!

"This is... problematic."

Ritsuko stood with her hands clasped behind her back. The chilling look in the eyes of Commander Gendo Ikari never failed to send a shiver down her spine. "There appears to be nothing we can do to fix this. The Third Child is simply incapable of generating an AT-Field, despite his synchronisation with Unit-01. We even took the time to try him in Unit-00 with no success."

"So we have a problem," Fuyutsuki remarked from his standing position just behind and to the right of the Commander. "We could still deploy Pilot Ikari in Unit-01, but he would be in danger the moment an Angel raises an AT-Field. If he can't raise one to counter it, he would be both defenseless and unable to hurt the enemy. We can't rely on the Eva going berserk every fight in order to breach an Angel's AT-Field."

"Unacceptable," Ikari swiftly replied. "While the safety of Unit-01 is paramount, the AT-Field would have provided sufficient protection to make any deployment an acceptable risk."

"We could just wash him out and get the Marduk Institute to 'discover' another pilot," Ritsuko bluntly suggested. "Put Ayanami in Unit-01 and the new pilot in Unit-00, since that Eva should have the least problems with a different pilot."

"That is a possibility," Fuyutsuki conceded, "but we need a pilot now. The Fourth Angel could attack in a month, or in an hour. With the First Child's injuries making her temporarily unsuitable, we should try to bring the Second Child to Tokyo-3."

"But Unit-02 isn't ready for transport yet," argued Ritsuko. "It's still being prepped to travel along the upgraded Trans-Siberian Railway, and moving it by air will cost far too much and potentially not get here in time anyway."

Ikari gave a slight tilt of his head. "Indeed. The old men would balk at spending so much money this early in the scenario, especially after already paying for Unit-02's current transport arrangements. But I do not believe that is what you had in mind, Fuyutsuki?"

"No, it wasn't. I was going to suggest that you speak with the Committee about bringing Pilot Soryu to Tokyo-3 by plane, to see if she can synchronise with Unit-01."

Ritsuko raised an eyebrow. "You really think Unit-01 will accept her?"

Fuyutsuki raised his arms in a half shrug. "Who can say? The Evas are capricious beasts. But I believe Pilot Soryu will do just fine. And all we can do is try."

"Not getting sentimental on us, are you Fuyutsuki?" Ikari remarked with what might have almost been amusement in his voice.

"Just offering a suggestion. Besides, if this doesn't work, we are only out the cost of airfare for a thirteen year old girl."

More like a thirteen year old girl and all the crap she'll want to bring with her, thought Ritsuko, who remembered what she had been like at that age.

"I believe the Committee will be amenable to this," said Ikari. "Especially if I emphasise that our only other available pilot is incapacitated. For now I shall simply tell them that the spare was useless. We do not need the old men prying into this when even we cannot reliably determine the problem."

"Very well," replied Ritsuko with a nod. Then, as if only just remembering, she added, "And what about the spare in question? Shall I arrange for him to be sent back home?"

Knowing the relationship, or lack thereof, between the two Ikaris, she believed she knew the answer. Therefore, his reply came as a complete surprise.

"The Third Child will remain in Tokyo-3 for the time being. Only when we are sure we have exhausted all possible avenues shall he be sent away."

Ritsuko very carefully did not express any surprise at the order. Well I'll be damned, you might just have a heart in that chest after all. Out loud she said, "Then if there is nothing else, I'll be off. I want to go through the data from the Third's attempts myself. There has to be something we're missing."

"Dismissed."

XXX

The door closed behind the blonde scientist, and silence descended on the imposing black room belonging to the Supreme Commander of NERV for several minutes. Finally, Gendo raised his head a tiny fraction of an inch.

"This is a very strange occurrence, Professor."

"Certainly not something we could have predicted."

"But now we have to deal with the consequences."

"If that's even possible."

Gendo hummed in thought. When he realised that no further answer was forthcoming, Fuyutsuki decided to speak up about something that had been on his mind for a few days. "I don't suppose you understand what Ayanami said to him in the Eva cage, do you? Could that have something to do with this?"

Gendo's eyebrows furrowed as he recalled the scene. His estranged son, cradling the injured girl he had just caught after she had been knocked from her gurney. Those three small words that he would have missed had it not been for the highly sensitive security cameras installed in the cages...

"What are you...?"

Not 'who are you?', as if meeting a stranger for the first time, but 'what are you?'. Later, after reviewing the footage of the event, he had noticed Rei staring with great intensity at the Third Child, even as she was placed back on the gurney and wheeled away.

"I'm afraid I have no answer either, Professor," he admitted. "With Rei still in serious condition, and our workload thanks to the attack, it will still be some time before I can speak with her. For all we know it may have simply been a hallucination brought on by her medication and injuries."

"Whatever it is, I guess we'll find out soon enough."

"But will we like the answer?"

XXX

Shinji was very unhappy.

Perhaps it was the way he had scowled at Misato as she'd waited to meet him outside the change room after the shenanigans on the bridge, or perhaps it was the way he was currently walking faster than normal, as if hoping to outpace her and reach the elevator first so that he could slip away.

Misato's longer legs let her easily keep up with him, however, and made it into the elevator without any trouble. It ascended slowly, leaving the two of them basking in the awkward silence.

"I'm really sorry, Shinji," she finally managed to say, shame written all over her face. "It was unprofessional of me to laugh like that."

Shinji huffed and folded his arms. "You promised."

"I know, and I apologise. I think the stress of the long day finally got to us."

"...It doesn't matter anyway. I'll be getting sent back to my teacher soon, since I can't do the job I was brought here for."

Misato stared at him. Despite becoming the pilot of a multi-billion yen war machine, this was still just a young boy in front of her. A young boy who had, according to the file she had been given on him, lost his mother at a young age and was sent to live with a stranger for most of his life. Why his father, the Commander of NERV, had sent him away was a mystery, and it was unlikely she would be given an answer.

She opened a panel above the elevator's floor buttons and punched the emergency stop button. The sudden halt jolted the two occupants as she turned to look at Shinji. "Look, I don't know about the higher ups, but I'm not ready to admit defeat just yet. You're doing your best, but something isn't working properly. That's not your fault."

"I know what's wrong!" exclaimed Shinji. "I sold my soul, so the Eva can't use its AT-Field! It is my fault!"

"It can't be that," replied Misato in what she hoped was a calming tone, "because selling your soul is impossible outside of fiction. It would have happened somewhere else in the world by now and we'd know of it."

"But it's the only thing that makes sense! You guys said you went over everything, so what else could it possibly be?"

Misato shrugged helplessly. "I'm not the head of Project E, so I can't offer anything like a reason. But just signing a piece of paper wouldn't be enough to cause something like this to happen. Or... not happen."

Shinji sighed heavily and leaned hard against the wall of the elevator. "I knew nobody would believe me. And I just know I'll end up back with my teacher sooner or later, since I'm apparently useless in a fight now."

The despondency in the boy's voice made Misato echo his sigh. This soul thing seemed just so ridiculous, and yet Shinji was adamant in his belief that it was the cause of their current problem. "How about this then? Find me something that can solidly prove you sold your soul and I'll argue right beside you to convince Ritsuko and the others."

"...You'd do that? For me?" Shinji asked as he slowly turned to look up at her, surprise on his face. "But I don't even know how I can prove it. And what if they punish you for wasting their time?"

"Don't you worry about me," Misato replied, just as her phone began to ring. "Just focus on finding that evidence." She drew it out of her pocket and answered.

"Is everything alright, Captain?" It was Hyuga, the dark-haired young bridge officer that always seemed to go out of his way to help her. "I'm seeing an emergency stop alert for your elevator."

"Oh. Right." She should have realised that, in a place like NERV, there would be special contingencies for things like stuck elevators. "Everything's fine, I just, um... accidentally bumped the stop button."

"...That button is behind a panel you have to open."

"I, um... bumped into it really hard?"

"Er... Understood, ma'am. I'll start the elevator back up for you." The elevator began to move almost before he finished talking. "By the way, Pilot Ikari's with you, right?"

"Of course he is. Why?" Shinji glanced at her quizzically.

"Considering what happened today I'm fairly positive he's upset with us, so the news I'm about to give you might help."

"Lay it on me."

"Since Ikari's... you know... and Ayanami's still in hospital, Commander Ikari has decided to get the Committee to transfer the Second Child to us ahead of schedule to see if she can synchronise with Unit-01. She'll be arriving tomorrow morning and placed into your care."

"Oh really?" A smile erupted on Misato's face, only serving to further confuse Shinji. "That's great! But it's a bit short notice for me."

"...Says the woman who suddenly decided to take care of a teenager."

"Fine, I take it back. Anything else?"

"Um... yes. Please tell Ikari that all three of us are sorry for laughing at him."

Misato agreed and gave a farewell before hanging up. She passed along the apology before adding, "There's also some good news. Tomorrow I'll..." She paused as a better idea came to mind. "I'll need you to come with me tomorrow. To get that good news."

"To... get good news? What do you mean?" Shinji was very confused now, but at least he didn't seem unhappy anymore.

"It's a surprise!"

XXX

"Misato, where are we going?"

"It's a surprise!"

"At 5:30 in the morning?"

"An early surprise!"

"...Are we going to the airport?"

"Your surprise is getting flown in!"

"This early?"

"Early surprise!"

Shinji tiredly rubbed his eyes and groaned. This was too early even for an early riser like him. "How are you so perky? The last couple of days you sounded like a zombie when you woke up in the morning." Hearing the heavy, clumsy footfalls and loud groaning sounds right behind him as he prepared breakfast had given him a minor fright.

"I have had so much coffee!" Misato excitedly explained as she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel of her Renault Alpine A310. "So much to sort out! Leftover paperwork from the Third Angel's attack! Preparations for A-... the surprise! Plus I knew we'd need to leave early so I had some more coffee!"

Shinji leaned slightly away from Misato as an elbow flashed past his face. The woman drove like a pursuit stunt driver on a normal day, and apparently being just beneath the overdose point of caffeine made her exaggerate any arm movements she made. He was almost expecting her to make car noises, but the loud engine was probably enough for her.

Despite everything, somehow they made it to the airport without crashing or being pulled over. A flash of Misato's NERV identification got them quickly through security, and Shinji trailed along in her wake. Any attempt at questioning was met with something along the lines of "Surprise!" so he soon gave up. A rough idea of what was actually happening was starting to form in his mind, and his mood began to improve. Soon they were sitting near an arrival gate, looking out through the floor-to-ceiling windows at the airport runways, and all that was left to do was wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

Shinji regretted not bringing his SDAT, as when he looked up at a nearby clock, he saw that only half an hour had passed. He tried to get Misato's attention, but the now formerly-caffeinated woman was now dozing in her seat, and he didn't have the heart to wake her up. So he continued to wait. And just as he was about to fall asleep too...

He leapt out of his seat in shock when somebody tapped him on the shoulder.

There was a snort of laughter, then the stranger said, "Wow. Reckon I can hitch a ride next time? Because you almost took flight there."

The somewhat familiar voice froze Shinji in the act of turning around for a moment. It seemed that his rough idea was right. He cleared his throat and swivelled to face the newcomer. The flame-haired girl he had spoken to yesterday was standing there, clad in a bright yellow dress, with a hand on her hip. Two black-suited men stood a few feet behind her, looking around for any threats. The suits were still a sight Shinji needed to get used to, but he at least understood that their job was to protect people outside of NERV headquarters.

He didn't know why she was still wearing the A-10 clips though. Weren't they only needed while piloting?

"Um... Hello Miss Soryu," he haltingly said in German. It was his first time speaking to her face to face, and he wanted to make a good impression. Using her native tongue seemed like a good start.

"Hel-" Asuka paused, then shook her head before replying in the same language. "No. None of that formal crap. Call me Asuka."

"Oh, um... sorry. Then... hello Asuka."

"That's better!" she said with a sunny grin. "It's great to finally meet you in the flesh."

"Um, yeah. You too." Shinji nervously mirrored the grin, before adding, "Wait, how did you know who I was from behind?"

"I didn't, but Misato's hair is hard to miss." Asuka glanced away. "Speaking of which, we're probably gonna need a luggage trolley for her."

Shinji blinked. "Huh?" She pointed to where she was looking, and he followed with his eyes to see Misato slowly tilting sideways in her chair. "Oh. Right. Misato's still asleep."

"Sleeping like the dead. She didn't drink and drive did she?"

Shinji shook his head. "No, she just nearly overdosed on coffee due to NERV work and getting ready for you."

Asuka smiled warmly. "Heh, nice to see she hasn't changed at all. Anyway, go get a trolley so we can take her out of here."

The two teens got a lot of odd looks thrown their way, as well as several members of staff and security wondering what they were doing. In fairness it was an odd scene, watching two teenagers push a trolley with an unconscious woman on it; Asuka's carry-on bag sitting on Misato's lap by the redhead's explicit request. Her escorts were no help, simply standing back and remaining silent, letting the teenagers do the talking. Fortunately, Asuka's NERV badge sufficed for keeping them out of trouble and they made it to the baggage carousel.

"Wait, this is it?" Shinji wondered aloud when Asuka only collected two suitcases before heading off.

Asuka gave an expansive sigh. "Yeah, I had to pack light and in a hurry, since NERV wanted me here as soon as possible." As they reached Misato's car, she took the keys out of the woman's pocket. "There'll be more stuff coming later, when Unit-02 is getting shipped over. That's a ways off though, so hopefully this will be enough for the time being." She stopped and thought for a moment before, with a sly glance at Shinji, before mumbling, "Eh, I can always just go out and buy whatever else I need."

"Oh. So... should we wake Misato up now?" Shinji asked once Asuka's bags were loaded into the car.

Asuka looked at the still slumbering woman, before giving a shake of her head that sent her hair cascading about. "Nah, she's going to be horribly tired, will drive like a maniac anyway, and I don't particularly feel like being in a car accident on my first day here. Put her on the back seat, I'll drive."

"Oka- wait what?"

In response, Asuka rummaged around in one of her bags, before withdrawing a card and showed it to him. "I. Have. A driver's license," she said with a smug grin, as if that explained everything. Shinji's stunned expression prompted her to roll her eyes and add, "Yes, I'm fully capable of getting us home. Don't you trust me?"

"N-no, I do trust you, I just... wasn't expecting that. Sorry."

Asuka smirked as she opened the driver's side door. "So then if there are no more complaints, let's go. Hope you remember the way home. If we get lost I'm blaming you."

Shinji gulped. He hoped so too, or they'd be wandering around Tokyo-3 for hours.

Once Asuka's bodyguards peeled off to get into their own car, the blue Alpine pulled out of the parking spot, and they made it all the way out of the airport before Shinji realised he was tightly gripping the armrest out of sheer habit. Asuka might have been much younger than Misato, but she was driving the roadster as smooth as silk. If there were any police that saw a problem with someone of Asuka's age driving, the NERV license plates on the car would likely make them look the other way.

"You know," Asuka suddenly spoke up, jolting Shinji out of his musing. "I was starting to get a little worried, what with you dropping off the internet for several days without warning."

"Um, sorry," Shinji replied. "When I got the letter from my father, I had to leave immediately. My teacher insisted. I didn't get any time to talk to you until... well..."

"Yeah..." Asuka nodded glumly, before brightening up. "But hey, what a coincidence this is, huh? You and me, two complete strangers on opposite sides of the world who've been talking to each other for years, and we're both Eva pilots!"

"Well... I don't know about that right now..." Asuka raised an eyebrow, and Shinji quickly decided a change of subject was needed. "Anyway... I take it you know Misato well?" he asked as the car changed lanes to prepare to exit the highway.

If Asuka was surprised by the subject change, she hid it well. "She was my guardian for a few years in Germany. Then she got moved over here and someone else took over. That person is Kaji, and he taught me to drive." She snickered a little. "Took a bit of convincing, but he eventually caved."

"...Who?" The way she spoke of him, it sounded like Asuka thought he knew who this person was.

Asuka glanced sidelong at him for a brief moment before returning her attention to the road. "Oh, has Misato not told you about him?"

"No, I haven't been living with her for very long, and most of my time here has been spent at NERV in the hospital. So far I've only really been home for one or two days, and she's been at work. Morning and night are really the only times we see each other, and... well..."

"Mmhm, she's still half-asleep most mornings."

"Speaking of which, is it normal for her to drink a beer every morning?"

"As long as I've known her, Misato's been like that. Beer in the morning to wake up, beer at night to help her sleep. Does she still do the shout?"

"You mean that 'yeaaaahhhhhh' thing?" Since they were in a car, Shinji refrained from doing the can slam that traditionally accompanied the yell.

"I'll take that as a yes."

They drove in companionable silence for a while, heading down the off-ramp and soon arriving in Tokyo-3 proper. Shinji did his best to recall the layout of the city from the very few times Misato had driven him around, and somehow they made it to the apartment building.

As Shinji was getting out of the car, he asked, "You said this Kaji person taught you to drive. Even with your convincing, why would he teach a... um... younger you?"

"In case of emergency, mostly," explained Asuka, exiting the car and locking the door before moving around to the boot. "An Eva pilot is a critical asset after all. If I got into trouble and nobody was around to help, he wanted to make sure I could quickly escape or get to NERV by any means necessary. He also taught me how to hotwire a car for the same reason." She chuckled. "Then told me never to use that skill unless I actually had to, or he'd come down on me like a ton of bricks. And when he was done teaching me to drive, he gave almost the same lecture since I'm nowhere near the legal driving age."

"Well this... doesn't really count as an emergency," Shinji mused, before turning to the car's final occupant. "But I think he'd understand. Anyway, how are we going to get her upstairs?"

"Upstairs?" Asuka looked up at the building towering over them and groaned. "Aw crap. What floor are we on?"

"The seventh. There's an elevator, but we'd still need to get her there."

Asuka folded her arms. "Pfft. Screw that. There's security around here, right?"

"Yeah, Section Two guards this building." Shinji paused and looked around. "Wait, where's the car with your bodyguards? Did we lose them while driving here?"

With a dismissive wave, Asuka replied, "Chances are someone else took over the escort, so they headed off once we got here. Anyway where are the ones assigned to this building? Inside?"

"There should be three in the lobby, two at the seventh floor elevator entrance, at least two more on patrol around that floor," Shinji promptly replied. When Asuka turned and stared incredulously at him, he added, "I've only been properly here for a couple of days, but so far there's always been men in suits at those spots."

"Good, means I don't have to walk far to find them. Wait here."

Asuka swiftly headed off to the apartment lobby, returning half a minute later followed by a slab of meat in a black suit. She pointed at Misato's sleeping form, still on the back seat of the Alpine, and the guard gently extracted her before heading off to the lobby. Asuka turned and followed, and Shinji almost said something about her luggage before realising what the sneaky girl had done. Fortunately for his arms, she really had packed light.

A minute later, they were at the seventh floor, where Shinji unlocked the door and let them in. The guard went straight for Misato's room, exiting empty handed a few seconds later and brushing past the two pilots without a word as he headed back downstairs.

"So..." Asuka looked around at the apartment, taking it all in. "Kind of a small place for three people."

"More like three and a half," Shinji corrected.

"Half? What do you mean?"

The other fridge hissed open, giving Asuka a jolt of surprise. A blue and white penguin with a red crest stepped out and stared at them.

"Uh... What the hell is that?" Asuka finally managed to ask.

"He's Pen-pen," Shinji replied as he headed for the regular fridge after placing Asuka's bags on the table. Pen-Pen had still been asleep when he'd left that morning, so he hadn't been able to give the penguin his breakfast. "He's kind of Misato's pet."

"'Kind of'?"

Taking a tin of fish out from the fridge, Shinji nodded. "You'll understand soon enough. At least you didn't meet him like I did." He kept his face turned away as a blush of embarrassment grew on his face. That really had been an awkward moment, Misato's casual reaction hadn't helped, and there was no way in hell he was going to tell the whole story to anybody. Ever.

The penguin hungrily rushed over to Shinji, who opened the tin and poured it into a bowl which he sat on the ground.

"Pen-Pen, this is Asuka," he said as the avian began to chow down. Without looking up from his meal, Pen-Pen waved a flipper in the vague direction of Asuka.

"Er... Hi."

"Don't be surprised if you see him reading the paper." He received a disbelieving stare from Asuka. "I'm serious. I think he reads the stock reports. Misato said he's a genetically engineered warm water penguin. He was going to get euthanised when the experiment was over, so she took him in."

Asuka stared at him, then at the penguin for a long time, before bringing a hand up to rub her face. "You know what? I'm just going to pretend it all makes sense. Where's my room? I need to sleep off some of this jet lag."

"Oh yes, it's just down the hall." Shinji started to move past her. "I just need to move my things out and it'll be rea-"

A hand on the back of his shirt collar stopped him in his tracks. Without even turning to look at him, Asuka spoke.

"You mind running that by me again? I must have misheard you."

Shinji froze. Her voice had lowered, sounding almost dangerous, as if she was starting to get mad. He mentally went back over what he had said, trying to work out what he had said wrong, and turned up nothing. So he repeated himself.

"I need to move my things out?" It wasn't supposed to be a question, but he sensed that he was treading on thin ice.

"Are you saying there's only two bedrooms in this apartment?"

The ice began to creak.

"...Yes?"

"Two bedrooms. Three of us are living here." Shinji almost corrected her, but one look at her face as she finally turned her head to face him sealed his mouth shut. "I'm a girl, and you're a boy, so we're not sharing the same room." Asuka leaned in closer to him, and he gulped nervously. "If you're so eager to give me the bedroom, then where the hell are you going to sleep?"

Shinji pointed down the hallway. "T-there's a room across from the bedroom. I-I was just going to move into there."

Asuka headed down the hallway, pushing Shinji ahead of her. Only when they got to the door of the room in question did she finally let go so that she could open the door. Without saying a word she stepped inside and looked around, before exiting the room a few seconds later.

"Shinji..." she slowly began.

"Y-yes?"

The ice shattered.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" she almost screamed into his face.

"Sorry!" Shinji flinched away from her, shielding his face with his arms.

"What possessed you to think that it was fine to get kicked out of your own bedroom and shoved into a damn closet?!"

"I-I-I'm not getting kicked out," he stammered. "I'm g-giving it to you."

"There's not even a bloody window in there! I could touch both sides of the room without even stretching! You'd be better off living in a toilet!"

"Why are you so angry about this? It's my choice!"

Asuka closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out again after five seconds. "Because you shouldn't have to sacrifice yourself like this. I'm the newcomer, if anything I should be the one in the closet."

"You don't deserve that!"

"And neither do you!"

"You're going to need the space anyway, when the rest of your stuff arrives."

"I can stick most of it in long-term storage."

"But-"

"Would the two of you please knock it off?"

Both of them turned to face back up the hallway. Misato was leaning heavily on the archway leading to the living room, clutching her head in one hand.

"It's Asuka's first day here and you're already arguing?" she growled. "What the hell is the problem?"

It was not Misato the Roommate or Misato the Guardian in front of them at the moment. This was Misato the Superior Officer. Asuka and Shinji glanced nervously at each other, before Shinji stepped forward.

"I wanted to give Asuka my room, since she would need it more," he explained.

Before he could continue, Asuka jumped in. "And I'm not about to kick him out of his room and into a closet. He deserves better."

Shinji nodded. "Basically, neither of us want the room if it means the other person doesn't have a proper bedroom."

Misato blinked slowly at them. "You're arguing... over who should not get the room? Trying to give it to each other?"

The two teens looked at each other again, before answering in unison. "Yes."

"Great, why couldn't this be something simple?" Misato muttered. "And sharing it is out of the question?"

"No way!" Asuka exclaimed. "We may know each other, but not that well. I'm not about to share a room with a perverted boy!"

"I'm not a pervert," Shinji mumbled.

Misato shrugged. "Why not just play Janken for it or something?"

"Play what?" Asuka tilted her head in confusion. As Shinji quickly began to explain, she said, "Oh, rock-paper-scissors. No, that'd still end up with somebody in a closet."

"Well then I don't know," Misato declared as she threw her arms up. "Neither of you want to budge on this and I'm still so tired I don't know how the hell we got home." Asuka opened her mouth to answer, but Misato raised a hand to forestall any comment. "Wait until I'm actually awake. I need more sleep before we head off to NERV and see if you can pilot Unit-01. In the meantime, keep arguing or whatever, but for the love of Yebisu, keep it down!"

With that said, the tired woman stumbled off back to her bedroom, leaving two chastened teenagers in her wake. There was silence in the hallway for half a minute, before Asuka broke it.

"So what do we do?" she asked.

Shinji sighed. "I still think you should have it. You're the best pilot after all."

"Me being the best doesn't mean anything here. We are both pilots, not robots or dolls. We both deserve proper living arrangements instead of a hole in the wall." Asuka tiredly rubbed a hand across her face. "This is just going to go on forever, isn't it? We can't both not have the room."

"No," agreed Shinji, before furrowing his brow in thought. "Wait... maybe we can."

Asuka stepped back and folded her arms. "If I'm not sleeping in the same room as a boy, there's no way I'm sharing a closet with one!"

"Er, that's not what I meant," Shinji sheepishly replied as he scratched at the corner of his mouth. He certainly hadn't expected such an argument to blow up like this, but now he believed he had the perfect solution. "Apart from Section Two, I think we're the only ones living in this entire building."

"That wouldn't surprise me," Asuka replied. "Wouldn't want any rogue elements this close to saviours of the planet. But what does that have to do with..." She trailed off and her arms dropped to her sides as realisation struck. "Oh. Oooohhh. Instead of us arguing over who gets the bedroom here, you're suggesting we get our own apartment! You clever little boy! I might just have to take back what I said about you."

Shinji had started to nod as Asuka got the idea, only to stop at the last thing she said. He decided it was better not to ask for clarification. "It would solve the problem and give you lots of space for your stuff when it arrives."

"While still remaining close to Misato and under the same Section Two protective detail."

"Oh... right." Shinji's enthusiasm waned slightly. "How would she react to this? She seemed so happy to have me as a roommate." Or maybe it was the fact that I tidied the place up and cooked for her, he carefully did not say out loud.

"Well it's not like you're moving across the city. But then again, we don't even know if she'll allow it," Asuka mused. "At least, not until she's had a proper sleep."

"Speaking of sleep," said Shinji, noticing her occasionally drooping eyes. "Weren't you going to have a nap? You'll need to be fresh for the test, so take my room for now. We can talk to Misato about this later."

Asuka opened her mouth to argue, but a yawn came out instead. "Fine," she relented. "It had better be clean though."

"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?" Shinji raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"You're a boy."

"What does- oh." Said boy's face turned bright red. "No! I don't do anything like that!"

Giving only a smirk in response, Asuka pushed past him and into the hotly contested bedroom. After a moment of staring into the room, she sighed and said, "If Misato does agree to this, I want a proper bed in my room," before closing the door.

"Um... okay?" Shinji lamely said, before shrugging and heading off towards the kitchen.

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A/N: Thanks to someone better at names than me on Discord, this story now has a different name. Because let's be honest, there are a lot of fics that use (not) as part of their title and sometimes they might blur together in people's minds.