Author: Catlover51
Genre: Crack/Humor, Romance, AU
Summary: Darth Vader thought it was the last he'd see of his former master after Obi-Wan's body mysteriously vanished.
Obi-Wan is determined to prove him wrong.
As always.
Warnings: Mentions of Death, Explicit Language
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that are in Star Wars.
"I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain." -James Baldwin
Darth Vader is not having a good day.
Actually that is an understatement, Darth Vader is having the most terrible day of his life including the day when his mother died or when his dearest Padmé died, taking their child with her, turning him to the dark side.
He thought those bad days were hard to top. Since, his mother who raised him and loved him so much, despite the circumstances. His wife who he loved more than the Galaxy, literally died.
He thinks it's oddly poetic, for the dark side, had free him from the chains of the Jedi.
Padmé's sacrifice, for yes it was a sacrifice. If it's not, Darth Sidious would not lie, his master would not lie, he was not wrong!
Vader's bad day he pretty sure started after he striked down kriffing Obi-Wan fucking Kenobi, (he does not miss him what are you talking about?), for not so long after he had heard the Force crying at him in a million warning bells.
You might think Vader would learn to move to the edge of the galaxy and be more trusting of the Force, who saved his life in multiple occasion, to get him away from trouble, but no he just had to be stubborn. He can now, standing a few distance away from his blue hue translucent (definitely hotter) former master, admit he is a forcedamn idiot.
"Hello, Anakin." his supposed to be force kriffing dead former master said, Kenobi saying his long forgotten name in an unidentifiable tone. Vader felt his face heating up which should be impossible. Blinking dumbly at a certain 20 years younger Kenobi just like in his padawan days sunburned red hair and all, (no, he was not focusing on Kenobi's muscles how dare you), who that last time he saw was weighed down with guilt and age. He screamed. Which coming from his voice synthesizer sounded like that one vine with the battery's packages.
"Yes, Anakin. I know you think you could escape your Master and his lectures, but I assure you." Kenobi took one step towards him, lights were flickering around the area Kenobi's space, like a scene straightly pulled out of a horror movie.
"Not even death shall do us part." Kenobi grinned sinisterly, twisting his handsome face unnaturally. A grin Vader recognizes from a memory he doesn't want to relive, a grin that pulled Anakin kicking and screaming out of the dark side, the grin he dubbed Obi-Wan's 'Master Of Trolling' persona hell bent on annoying a target. In his Jedi days he has only seen this grin targeted to two Sith, both are now dead.
"Nooooo '' Vader screamed dramatically like his unknown son when he discovered a dark lord was his Father. Vader ignited his lightsaber and started swinging it like a baseball bat.
The Stormtroopers that were gandering around him because seriously who wouldn't be curious if your boss was standing there like he just saw a ghost. In this case, Vader was seeing his nightmare come alive.
Well, you know what they say about curiosity. When Vader started swinging his saber like a rookie baseball gamer first time using a bat, the stormtroopers around him were scattering to safety not wanting to get hit.
Obi-Wan sighed like a parent dealing with a annoying child, he thrusts his arm forward aiming the Force like Yoda does, what happen is Vader being thrown like a basketball to a bunch of boxes that was conveniently put there by the power of cliche movie scenes.
"Are you done throwing a Sith tantrum? I know for a fact you were not this whiny even when you were a Padawn." Obi-Wan placed his hand on his hips, examining his finger nails.
Darth Vader has never been so grateful to not have hair before, for he might have ripped them all off in the sight of Force Ghost Obi-Wan.
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."
Vader had never ever wished he had listened to Kenobi's not-so-useless-after-all threats, so much as he has now.
Obi-Wan is having the first great day, in his eternity of afterlife. He knew Vader was already breaking, stormtrooper's in his crew started avoiding him, not wanting to face 'the wrath of Darth Vader'. Obi-Wan not for the first time, he maniacally laughed out loud.
"Would you stop that?" Vader said frustration dripping in every word. Darth Vader spun around, his cloak and dramatically floated through the air gracefully. A stormtrooper that was slowly creeping to him no doubt to report important messages to the 'dark lord', turned tail back and ran off like a mouse who just saw an enormous cat.
Kenobi smirked like the thorn in his force damn side, "What are you going to do Anakin, kill me?" Kenobi quipped, sarcastically rolling his eyes.
Darth Vader proceeds to make choking, dying cat noises.
Due to Kenobi's desperate need to distract Vader, the mission reached him after the hologram being passed around Vader's crew like a game of hot potato, while Kenobi made snarky comments that nearly drove Vader more mentally unstable than he already is.
Luke Skywalker in a thankful tone sighed, the Force temporarily silencing his grieving thoughts for Ben, his mentor that was like family, then boosting his optimism.
"You ok, kid?" Han Solo inquired curiously.
"Yeah, Han. Surprisingly I am." Luke Skywalker said breathlessly.
"For some odd reason, I felt like I just dodged a bullet."