BURN
by cn-stardust
CHAPTER ONE
Weapons of Choice
THEA
The train whistle signals ten minutes until departure and the Potters are late as usual. The good compartments will be full and Thea's patience wanes as she glances down at her father's pocket watch.
Every year Theodora Malfoy waits at Platform 9 ¾ for her best friend to emerge and every year she is left standing impatiently as Albus Potter clamors in at the last minute amongst siblings and cousins of the Potter-Weasley clan.
"You'd think the world revolves around Potter's schedule," her father grumbles under his breath as he slides the pocket watch back into his cloak. She pretends not to hear him rather than admit her impatience is reaching its breaking point.
In the third compartment window from the end, her brother sits with his nose buried in one of his books. Even from a distance, it's obvious Scorpius's attention is elsewhere. He hates today, the memory of their mother lingering where she once stood waving them off to school with wide smiles and warm hugs.
Now if any of them smile it's guarded and fleeting. And they rarely hug. The Malfoy's specialize in rigidity and putting up walls. Especially in public.
The train whistle blows again and her cat Magnus stretches in the golden cage at her side. He's been cooped up for far too long and his displeasure is vocalized in a pathetic set of groans.
"Thea!"
She turns towards the sound of her name, sighing with relief as Albus rushes through the Kings Cross portal and onto the platform with his trunk and his owl in tow.
"How are you so incapable of being on time?" She mumbles as he approaches.
"Can we argue about that later?" He replies, placing a small kiss on the side of her cheek.
James, a disheveled mess of a seventh year, meanders by, his crimson and gold tie hanging undone around his neck and draped over the sides of his charcoal jumper. She gifts him a smile. A fake smile. A smile that warrants a reply and he graces her with a scowl instead.
"Claws in, please," Albus says and she only appeases him because they're running late.
She turns to her father and offers a weak smile. He'll be lonely when she's gone.
"Don't look so worried, I'll be fine," he insists and her nod is a lie because she'll worry about him anyways.
"I'll write to you so much you'll be sick of me," she tells him and his lips twitch into a lop-sided grin.
"Promise?" asks her father.
It's one of those times she wishes they were better at hugging. But instead she nods, crossing her heart as she pulls the trolley with her luggage towards the train.
"Take care of your brother," he shouts after her.
"I always do," she replies.
x
The train moves with impressive speed but magic allows the corridors of the Hogwarts Express to keep them from wobbling as they make their way down the narrow passage filled to the brim with eager students. Thea's stomach is eternally grateful. Muggle trains make her sick and the last thing she wants is to miss the first feast because of motion sickness.
Albus fumbles awkwardly through the clusters of students and he grips her hands tightly as she pulls him behind her. His discomfort in crowds rivals her own and so she squeezes harder when she looks back and sees his jaw clenched tightly. She doesn't remind him they wouldn't be in this predicament if he could learn to be on time because it will only sour his mood further.
Near the back of the train,Thea opens the door to a compartment and she finds four first years looking up at her expectantly. She puts on her best smile but Albus lets out a heavy sigh from her right.
"Thea," Albus mutters. She waves him off.
"Good Morning. First trip to Hogwarts?" she says, her voice as sugary sweet as she can muster as if she's mastered the art of diplomacy and for a moment she doesn't mind the way each of their eyes light up.
Save for one.
"We uh…" the young student stammers, a second year Gryffindor whose eyes are not light but wide with fear. "We didn't realize this compartment was taken."
Thea's smile only widens.
"We can share the compartment, can't we?" Albus pleads.
Thea's blinks, her long coal lashes fluttering as she eyes the second year, her lips aching at the corners.
"No, that's ok. We don't mind moving," the student insists, standing and pulling his rucksack from the shelf. "Hurry, let's go," he grumbles when he thinks she can't hear him. "She's a Malfoy."
It's said in disgust, like a filthy word as it leaves his lips and one by one the first years' smiles begin to fade. They rush to grab their things as well, severing eye-contact with Thea whose plastered smile doesn't budge. It no longer stings to hear her own name uttered in fear but the look of pity on Albus' face does.
The young students edge past them, muttering several 'pardon me's' and Albus sighs again as he and Thea enter the now empty compartment.
"We could have shared," he tells her and she shrugs.
"I wasn't going to beg them to stay, Albus. And besides, I like to stretch my legs."
"Terrorizing first years already, Malfoy?" When Thea turns, James Potter is leaning against the open door frame, his best friend Sebastian Barbary at his side and a small sprig of red hair peeking out from somewhere between them.
James towers over Thea, every inch of him smug and disheveled. His oversized jumper hangs loosely from his arms crossed over his chest as he stares down at her. He weaponizes his tallness because he likes that Thea has to crane her neck to meet his gaze.
When she does, his brown eyes are filled with a familiar challenge. She steps forward, pressing her hand to his charcoal jumper. Her eyes rake over him once and when their eyes meet again, her pale eyes accept his challenge.
"Don't be jealous, Jamie. I save almost all of my terrorizing for you," she whispers.
His jaw twitches at the nickname, his eyes flickering to her fingertips
"One day," Albus whines. "Why can't the two of you control yourself for one day?"
Thea doesn't look away first, she holds James's gaze and waits for his discomfort to set in. She can do this all day. But he shifts at her words, at her nearness and every ounce of smugness dissolves.
"Prefects are meeting in 10 minutes," says James and Thea smiles when his gaze falls down to the small bit of ginger that pushes her way out from between James and Bas. "I'm bringing Lucy to sit with Lily."
Thea eyes the miniature Weasley, already dressed in a perfectly pleated first year uniform. Her timid gaze dances between James and Albus, her fingers grazing the spine of a first year text on herbology.
Thea raises a brow.
"She can stay with me," Thea offers, her fingers falling to Lucy's soft auburn ringlets.
"No," both James and Albus say at the same time.
"Come on, little Weasley," she beckons to Albus's cousin. "I won't bite."
Lucy reaches out for Thea's hand but James steps between them.
Thea is no longer interested in her game with James, bored of his scowl and the disgust dripping from his eyes Just when she's resolved to conjure one teeny tiny hex, she feels Albus' hand over hers where she reaches into her back pocket.
"What?" she asks. "I said I wouldn't bite. I promise I'll be on my best behavior."
"That's what worries me," James mutters, staring down at Thea with a too serious expression.
"I'll supervise," volunteers Bas. "So long as that 'no biting' rule extends to me."
Thea shoots him a toothy grin. "No promises, Sebastian."
Bas coughs to cover his amused scoff when James shoots him a glare.
"Fine," says Albus. "But please don't fill her head with nonsense on her first day."
Thea frowns. "I give a first year bad directions one time and suddenly I'm full of nonsense?"
"I heard about that. Didn't they end up in hospital?" Bas asks.
Thea claps her hands over Lucy's ears. "Sebastian, please. Don't fill her head with nonsense."
"This is a really fucking terrrible idea," James says, rubbing his palm over his face and up through his mess of brown hair.
Thea pushes Albus outside the compartment and into the corridor. "Have fun with your loser prefects, nerds. Bas and I have some corrupting to do."
"Thea," Albus says and pauses, swallowing whatever he planned to say. "Be good," he finishes with a small smile in the corner of his lips.
She winks. "Only for you, darling."
JAMES
The last remnants of summer linger in the night air. James exhales a stream of smoke, his head leaning back against the castle exterior. From his perch in the window of his dorm he can see the black lake below and the moonlight glistening off the dark water.
"You good, mate?" Bas asks when he returns from the baths and finds James still sulking.
James points his cigarette hand towards the nightstand next to his bed. Bas unfolds the parchment, his eyes grazing over the rigid words still spinning in James's mind.
"He couldn't even wait one day," James says. He pulls the cigarette back to his lips, taking in another long drag.
"I thought you said he laid off the pressure, this summer?" Bas asks.
"Yeah right. He wouldn't shut up about how intensive auror training has gotten. The only reason I'm taking N.E.W.T.s. Defense Against the Dark Arts is because of him. Now he wants to know what apprenticeships I'll be applying to and wants me to talk to Professor Slughorn for a recommendation."
"What happened to telling him you didn't want to be an auror?"
James just shrugs because it's easier than the truth. The truth is he tried. Every day during summer break he woke up intending to tell his father he didn't want to follow in his footsteps. But the words never came. The truth is he's scared of the way his father will look at him when he realizes James hates being a Potter.
"Albus wants to go to Romania this summer to train with Uncle Charlie," he says instead. "I think that was disappointment alone would destroy my dad. Not sure what he'd do if both of his sons rejected the path he's laid out for us."
Bas rummages through his trunk and pulls out a small bag of rolled herbs and his lighter. James perks.
"I was saving it for after the first day of Potions because it's going to be brutal, but I think this situation seems a bit more dire," says Bas.
"How did you smuggle that in? They search for contraband at the luggage check."
"While you were sulking around the house this summer like some pathetic wanker I was in Majorca learning useful spells and smoking premium herb."
James lets out a chuckle and reaches for the bag, inspecting the dried substance under the light of the lantern hanging in the window.
"And here I thought the Herbology Club was there for research," James teases, tossing his legs back into the room and digs through his own trunk for rolling papers he uses for his cigarettes. "Dom said things got pretty wild."
Bas's laugh is low and his tattooed fingers toy with the lighter in his hand. "She would know. Roxy said our Head Girl finally let loose a bit."
"Oh yeah?" asks James, concentrating as he sprinkles the herb onto the small square of paper. "That seems decidedly un-Dominique."
Bas leans back into his pillow, his hands behind his head. "Probably has something to do with Malfoy."
James's tongue pauses as it slides over the paper's edge.
"Why would it have anything to do with her?" he asks, his words slow and tentative as he seals the paper and packs the ends.
Bas chuckles. "Honestly, I don't think I was meant to know. I saw them sneaking off one night towards the beach."
James shakes his head, holding the joint between his fingertips as he inspects the edges. When he decides it's good enough he crosses the room, leaning down towards Bas who lights it with an abrupt flick of his lighter. James inhales, the smooth feeling of the herb flowing down the back of his throat. His eyes close as he holds his breath.
"Can't say I blame Dom" Bas continues. "I won't deny, I've always been a little curious myself."
James erupts into violent coughs as the smoke leaves his lungs. "What?" he asks between coughs, leaving Bas in fits of laughter. Bas pats him on the back but it doesn't do anything but make it worse. "You can't be serious?" James finally gets out when he can breathe again and Bas rolls his eyes.
"Just because you have this ridiculous hate-on for her doesn't mean the rest of do. Sure she has her moments, but she's not..." James's eyes narrow. "Oh come on, Jay. Even you can't deny she's hot."
Ivory skin flashes behind his eyes. Long plaited brown hair tied over her shoulder in a red ribbon. Her infuriatingly direct gaze as she cranes her neck up towards him with eyes the color of pale blue ice.
James shakes his head.
"I leave you alone with her for thirty minutes and suddenly you're in love with her?" James passes the blunt to Bas who lets out another low chuckle.
"I'm not blind, that's all. You may be content in pretending she's some ogre intent on destroying your life, but…"
"I don't think she's an ogre," James interjects.
"Who's no ogre?" a voice asks from the doorway and both Bas and James turn to where Davie Finnigan stands with a bag draped over his shoulder and wide gap-toothed grin.
The two rush over and simultaneously lift their friend into the air as they erupt into cheers and shouts.
"Look who finally decided to show his face," says James. "Just when I was getting used to the idea of only sharing the room with Bas. I'll admit, I was looking forward to keeping the stench of your socks at bay."
"Summer trip got delayed back in Belfast. Dad had a bit too much fun with some childhood friends of his. But you conjured me with all this talk of ogres," Davie jokes, throwing his luggage onto the empty third bed.
"We weren't talking about ogres," Bas says, passing the herb to Davie who takes a hit, smiling as the smoke pours from his lungs in a long blissful sigh. "We were talking about Thea Malfoy."
Davie slaps his hand over his chest. "I saw her on my way in, Merlin help me. If you didn't insist on hating her, I think I would cut out my heart and serve it on a platter."
Black fingernails. Red-stained lips. That stupid fucking smirk.
"You're both dead to me," James mutters, snatching the spliff from Davie's just as it's raised to his lips. James breathes in the herb, this time exhaling without sputtering like an idiot.
Bas opens the lid to the lighter and closes it with a loud clunk. "I think you should consider it, mate. Think about it. The way the two of you carry on sometimes it's hard to tell if you're arguing or engaging in some very heated foreplay."
"She hexed my broom to grow thorns every time I rode it. Do you know how embarrassing it was to spend hours having Madame Nguyen pulling thorns out of my arse?"
Bas stifles a laugh with a cough. "I'm pretty sure they never proved that one."
"And the nest of pixies in our dorm, in fifth year?" reminds James.
"To be fair," counters Davie. "That could have been anyone. We did make some enemies when you fell out with Preston."
I save almost all of my terrorizing for you, Jamie.
James's jaw clenches as Thea's words claw through his mind.
"Remember last year when she charmed that photo of James in the trophy case?" Bas reminds them. James cheeks burn red. "Turned his nose into a tiny…"
"Yes," James interrupts. "That one is burned into my brain, thanks."
Davie and Bas don't even bother to hide their laughter. James stands quickly and grabs the towel from his nightstand. As he heads for the door he shoves down the fleeting sensation of Thea's fingers pressed up against his chest on the train.
"I'm going to take a shower," he says, clearing his throat.
"Oh come on, Jay. We're just joking, mate!" Davie shouts after him.
The sound of laughter fills the staircase even after James closes the door.
Jamie sounds again and again in his mind with every step down the tower's staircase and he curses Bas for bringing her up in the first place. He hates the way it sounds on her lips, the way she weaponizes his own name with ease. Every word intentional. Every glance laced with venom.
Like a true Slytherin.
James is used to hot showers, loves the way the boiling water feels like it could melt his skin from the bone.
But today the water is ice cold. For no particular reason at all.
THEA
She's not supposed to be here.
In fact, students are strictly prohibited from being in the Astronomy tower when class is not in session. But it has the best view of the stars and so she decides the rule is worth breaking, at least for one night.
Cigarette smoke burns her lungs as she inhales grief and exhales a swift facade of indifference. Her features are painted in moonlight, caressing her pale skin like a kiss from the moon itself. Thea bathes in the beauty of the night until her veins sing with starlight.
The wood floors creak under heavy footsteps and Thea flicks orange-lit ashes out into the abyss.
"You shouldn't sneak up on people," she whispers into the dark.
The footsteps pause at her side. "You shouldn't be up here after hours."
She glances up into the pale green eyes of her brother, his sandy colored hair blowing delicately across his milk-white features as the wind gusts around them. She slides a small glass over to her right and he sits down next to her, his legs dangling out over the castle walls.
It's a long way down, she always thinks. A fall that would take an eternity or end in an instant. Thea pushes the intrusive thoughts from her head as she opens the flask on her left, the dwindling cigarette still wedged between her index and middle fingers.
"Are you going to report me, Brother Mine?" she asks.
"As Head Boy, I probably should."
She wishes he would smile, but his face is expressionless as he holds the glass where she pours amber liquid into it. His eyes nestle themselves up into the stars where his mind always wanders. He's always lived there, amongst the constellations and comets and other mysterious wonders that seem utterly unattainable and always out of reach.
Just like him.
"Did you make captain?" she asks. It's small talk, and she hates small talk. They both do, but the longer she talks the longer this moment will last and so she feels the claws of desperation sink somewhere beneath the recesses of her chest as she speaks.
He nods. "You?"
"Nah," she replies. "It should be Alec. He's the one who likes the speeches."
The silence is excruciating, tearing at the insides of her eardrums as she watches her brother escape somewhere she can never seem to follow.
"You should tell Dad. He'll be proud."
"Theodora," Scorpius says slowly. His voice is low. Stern. "I'm not doing this."
She nods slowly, pouring the contents of the flask into her own glass. They both raise their glasses to the sky.
"Happy Birthday, Cygnus," she whispers, the name catching in her throat for a split second before she clears it away with expensive whiskey and the lingering feeling of regret.
Scorpius waits only a few seconds before sliding the glass back towards her. He stands, clearing his throat once and turns back towards the long staircase in the corner of the room.
"Can't you stay a few minutes longer?" she asks and she hates the way it comes out like a plea. She sounds young, like a child. Like the child who clung to her brother all those years ago when Cygnus died and he was all he had left.
Scorpius pauses for only a second. "Go to bed, Thea," he says and his creaking steps disappear into the night.
Thea takes one last swig of from the flask and savors the way it burns.
She can't go to bed, she thinks. When she sleeps she dreams.
And when she dreams, there is only death.
A/N: Thank you to my returning readers who fell in love with the original "Burn" I posted several years back. I don't plan on changing the story TOO much but there are a few things I wanted to adjust so hopefully you enjoy it as much, or more, than you did before. Thank you for the reviews and I look forward to hearing more from you all. -cn