Total Drama: Into the Great Blue Yonder

by CeruleanSeaScorpion

What if World Tour took it's themes of obsession, infidelity and toxic love seriously, and explored them on a deep, emotional level? What if the history and culture of the locations mattered in the challenges, and the dangers present in them were treated as true life or death stakes? Find all the answers and more, here on Total Drama World Tour: Into the Great Blue Yonder!

2. Nothing is Written (Part 1)

For most people, being trapped on a tin can for twelve hours with a bunch of strangers would sound like a nightmare. For Sierra, that just meant more time to get to know the coolest people in the world. Heather had come back from her trip up to the cockpit to deliver the news that their flight would be a very long one, and most people hadn't received the news as well as Sierra had. If anything, they seemed more bored about it than anything, as if this was the amount of waiting they had come to expect.

The contestants were divided about half-way between the galley and lounge. Sierra sat near the door on the lounge side, and every so often peeked back to check up on Cody. He and Harold had managed to find a paper map, and were plotting the aircraft's potential course based on their known speed and heading. Sierra nearly fell over swooning—Cody's smarts never ceased to amaze her.

Elsewhere, others were looking for ways to pass the time on the flight ahead. Duncan and Izzy took up DVD inventory duty; between the two of them they had a mental catalog of functionally every slasher, shoot-em-up and thriller movie made in the past century. Courtney, having a track record of selling recorded tracks, took it upon herself to organize the music library they had on hand for the stereo system.

The mood picked up when Rose came back and started making the contestants their meals for the flight. Making food for eighteen people was a tall order with any setup, much less the tiny kitchenette they were presented with. As such, dinner was several plates of pizza rolls, heated up in batches in the microwave, and served on a first come, first serve basis.

As the contestants settled in for their meal, Courtney stood up and tapped the side of her soda can with a fork. The effect was a sort of improvised bell, and it did the job of getting everyone's attention well enough.

"Everyone, I have an announcement I'd like to make," she said in her most formal tone, "It has come to my attention that nobody has offered a formal welcome to our newcomers. And as the only one here with counseling experience, I'm uniquely qualified."

"Oh you're unique alright," Heather muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Courtney asked, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at Heather.

Briefly Heather considered giving Courtney a piece of her mind, but she saw no good coming of it at that moment. And indeed, her restraint here and many times in the future would pay dividends she had yet to see. "Nothing," she flicked her hand dismissively, "Go for it."

Thankfully for everyone, Courtney too chose to take the high road and ignore Heather's sideways jab. "As I was saying." She turned and formally addressed Sierra first, being the closest, "Welcome to Total Drama, Sierra. I hope none of the… editing choices in the second season gave you the wrong impression of me."

"OMG, Courtney Valentino, talking to me!" Sierra had to take in deep breaths to calm herself. "You and Duncan are the heart-throb of the shipping community, I just. Wow. So uh, what's all this about bad impressions?"

"Ugh, just that Chris made sure the editors showed off every time I lost my temper without showing how he pushed me there. All because he was bitter about losing the lawsuit, which I wouldn't have even had to make if he just compensated me fairly for being cheated."

Sierra's eyes went wide with shock, "Chris would never! Were they really trying to make you look like the bad guy? I thought you looked awesome, tearing up that set, bossing your team around!"

"Yeah, he would." Courtney snapped back bitterly. "And, uh, thanks I guess? But I'm not angry, really. Just, pushed past my limits once or twice. That's what those snakes at the studio want you to think. I bet they made sure to only show the dumbest sounding rules on my relationship contract too, didn't they?"

Sierra was at a bit of a loss for how to respond, as in her mind the contract had been a completely reasonable arrangement, "I guess?"

"Well I promise they make sense in context. That contract was entirely for his benefit, not mine. If he doesn't straighten up his act soon, Duncan has a one way ticket to a lifetime of jail," Courtney took a deep breath as she was beginning to shake now, "He's not really a bad guy, he just makes bad decisions sometimes and never thinks before he acts. But he's really sweet underneath that and I think he's worth saving. And if he would just listen to me, then maybe he'd have a future as a decent, upstanding citizen… and… partner." As Courtney spoke of her lover her tone whiplashed between frustration boiling just beneath the surface, and a deep, longing affection.

"Uh, wasn't this supposed to be about welcoming Sierra or something? Not your love life?" Gwen interjected. Courney looked ready to smite her where she stood for that remark, but Sierra interrupted her instead.

"No no, it's fine. I'm the one who asked and really it's just amazing I'm here talking to you guys I could listen to this stuff all day lmao. There's a whole blog's worth of juicy details here. Sigh. If only I had my computer with me."

Deciding it was best to move on with her little spiel, Courtney turned to Alejandro.

"And welcome aboard, Alejandro. I hope your experience on Total Drama is safe, pleasant and fulfilling."

"When has it ever been any of those things for any of us?" Noah snarked.

"Ah, just because troubles may lay ahead doesn't mean we shouldn't wish each other all the best." Alejandro said, standing up from his seat to bow graciously to Courtney, "And I appreciate your formal greetings. It really does help to make myself feel welcome."

"If either of you need any help, beyond what the crew have offered, I will gladly assist," she said. "I am the only one here with counselor experience after all."

"With such a commanding presence as yours, I would have gone to you for assistance first without you saying a word," Alejandro said, and Courtney very nearly swooned over the compliment right there in front of everyone.

"Psh, yeah you would," Sierra nodded in agreement. "I've seen her report cards, she gets all As! Even in her extracurriculars. She totally knows her stuff."

That bit from the superfan killed the conversation dead on the spot, with half the galley staring at her awkwardly before returning to their meals. She looked around at them confused, wondering what she'd said wrong, but even as socially oblivious as she was she realized now might not be the best time to push the issue.

As dinner wrapped up, Alejandro noticed Bridgette pulling Gwen aside in the lounge away from the others. Not one to pass up a sensitive conversation, he very carefully positioned himself nearest to the corner they chose, pretending to peruse the mini-bar for refreshments.

"Hey, are you alright?" the blonde asked the moody goth, who replied with an indifferent shrug.

"I guess so. Why?"

"Don't try to avoid talking about it, I saw how you looked at Courtney talking about her relationship troubles."

Bridgette's chiding brought out a regretful sigh from Gwen, who looked away unable to voice what was on her mind. Luckily for her, Bridgette was able to read her like an open book.

"Still stung from the breakup huh? Hard to listen to anyone talk about love?"

"It's been months. I really should have moved on by now, but, I just feel so… stuck? And then having Courtney all waxing dramatic about her love-hate-life just reminds me what it was like towards the end…"

As inappropriate as it was at the time, the comment gave Bridgette a slight giggle, which she covered with a hand out of respect for her friend's struggles. "Oh, come on. You and Trent were never half as bad as those two. Even at your worst."

"Guess you're right. Is it weird that I understand what Duncan's going through more than I do Courtney?"

"Of course not," Bridgette assured her. "Just cause she's a girl doesn't mean she's like you. But, what do you mean by that, exactly?"

"Just that, well… I was hoping for something more casual and… Trent wanted something really serious. And now Courtney's acting like she's gotta be Duncan's life coach and he clearly…"

"Wants to smooch the day away with her?" Bridgette completed the thought.

"Yeah. Doesn't seem to care about the whole self improvement thing." One of her own pale palms came up to cover Gwen's face in embarrassment, accompanied by a long groan. "Ugh. I bet I sound like such a sap right now, comparing everyone else to my ex. Maybe I'm just as bad as Courtney."

"Don't beat yourself up about it." Bridgette held onto Gwens shoulder firmly, her eyes like deep wells of empathy that could see into souls. "If your heart needs time to heal, you shouldn't be ashamed of it. But, you should try not to see your ex in everyone who's having romance troubles either; it's not healthy."

A moment of silence was shared between the two, and Gwen simply nodded at Bridgette's wisdom with understanding. "Thanks. You're right, I'm probably just reading into it, projecting. Whatever. Let them do what they want to, I'll just focus on me right now."

As the two girls conversation wandered off into other topics, Alejandro thoughtfully processed what he had heard. From their perspective, they wouldn't have a reason to suspect a thing, and yet he'd nearly perfectly captured the whole exchange. It was a lovely friendship, and it was a shame that Bridgette would have to be one of the first to go. Someone like that could easily mend chaos and discord, and to win, Alejandro would need both. And with her strong empathic senses, she might very well see through him, given enough time.

By now it was starting to get late, and yawns could be heard throughout the group. Night had fallen during dinner, with several more hours on the flight ahead before it was due to arrive somewhere in the early morning. Harold and Cody said it would touch down in the Middle East, the Caucasus, or North Africa, based on their dead reckoning work from earlier. The issue of sleeping arrangements came up and everyone started to gather around to discuss it.

First to step forward on the issue, to the surprise of many, was Ezekiel. "So I've been thinking, eh? And I'd like to start this new season off on the right foot with the girls after what I said last time. I know it was wrong, and so I think the girls should have the lounge to sleep in for the flight."

Now this was enough to grab Sierra's attention, and most everyone in the room in fact. Alejandro didn't pay it too much mind, having promptly read Ezekiel as the provincial, ignorant sort he could discount early in the game.

Reactions to the suggestion were mixed among the girls. There was some discussion among themselves, some nodding, and some skeptical glares shot his way.

"It does sound nice." Lindsay was the first to speak. "Those couches are comfy."

"I guess," Gwen said, "but how do we know you're not just doing this because you think we're too weak to handle the cargo bunks or something?"

His face turned pale, and Ezekiel raised his arms as if surrendering to a foe. "No, that's not it at all. With God as my witness, I just want to do something nice to show I can change. All I'm asking is a second chance, eh."

"How can we know you're really serious about it?" Courtney asked, crossing her arms and bearing down on Ezekiel expectantly with her gaze.

"Uh, well, I. You see, one thing you should know is—"

"Oh give him a break already!" Lindsay cut in. "He's trying to be a better person, and you guys are acting like he's guilty of some big crime. Yeah, Edward said some pretty mean things before, but he's sorry now and I think we should let him have a second chance." She turned to Heather, who had refrained from speaking up until this point and retained an aloof attitude about the whole affair, filing her nails with disinterest. "Heather, I forgave you for saying and doing a lot meaner things."

Upon being addressed, Heather glanced up from her preening at Lindsay. "Whatever. I say if the bumpkin wants to give us the nicest beds, who am I to stop him?"

It wasn't exactly the support Lindsay had hoped for, but it wasn't rejection either so that was something. Just then, Tyler came to Lindsay's side, putting an arm around her.

"Lindsay's right, cut the guy some slack and let's just get to bed." He then added afterwards, directed more at Lindsay than anyone who might be listening, "and I'd totally sleep on the floor if it meant you were happy."

"Awwww, that's so sweet, uh, what was your name again?" Lindsay asked in the most phony confused tone anyone had ever heard her use.

Showing off his very amateur acting skills, he feigned the greatest deal of frustration Sierra had ever seen anyone feign. "It's me, Tyler!"

Lindsay was in a fit of musical giggles over his hammy acting, and failing completely at her attempts to look confused. Instead, she just looked completely enamored. "Oh, that's so sweet of you, uh, Tyson."

With nobody sure what either of them was trying to do, everyone decided that Ezekiel's plan would be good enough, and set about making it happen. The girls unfolded the lounge's couches into beds, and the guys headed aft to the galley and cargo hold.

"Hey Linds." Ezekiel caught the blonde on his way out. "thanks for standing up for me, eh. That was really cool of you."

"Awww, no problem Eric." She waved to him as he passed by on his way to the door. "It was really brave of you to apologize to everyone after what happened last season."

"Yeah well, after you let me have a second chance on that scavenger hunt between seasons, I guess I started thinking maybe I had a shot at fixing things after all. See you on the ground?"

"For sure, eh."

Having only started watching once Lindsay had stepped in to Ezekiel's defense, Alejandro found himself reconsidering the rural farmboy completely after seeing the exchange. Not one to sleep on an opportunity, he followed Ezekiel and Tyler back into the galley. Several of the guys had brought sleeping bags along for the trip, and were taking their chances with the galley floor instead of the cargo hold below. Some of the containers smelled particularly awful and were rather noisy too.

"I must say Ezekiel." Alejandro remarked, "I'm impressed how you navigated that situation. Though, I am also uncertain of how you ended up in it to begin with."

"Oh, it's a long story eh? Guess it goes back to our first day on the island. I said some stuff about how guys were smarter and stronger than girls? No, wait, let me back up eh. We'd lost the first challenge, and our team had more girls, so yeah."

Alejandro visibly winced. "You said that in front of everyone? Dios mio…"

Ezekiel simply shrugged, "Yeah, I guess, eh? Where I'm from both my ma and pa taught me guys gotta look after girls, and nobody would look at you funny for saying that sort of thing eh? But here it's different. And I was a jerk about it too so that probably made it worse."

"You come from a different background than most of us here?"

"Way out in the middle of Saskaetchewan. It's nothing for miles, eh. We used to say you could watch your dog run away for a week, it's so flat."

Laughing at the bit of rural humor, Alejandro nodded long. "And the others are not, I take it?"

"Oh, no. Most of them are from the suburbs eh. I'd never even seen a suburb until we drove into the city take the flight to the studio. They kept us thinking it'd be some really nice resort right up until they got us on the boat to the island. Everyone else was pretty ticked off about it, but I wasn't too bothered. Summer camp is a lot like a farm, eh." He cleared his throat, realizing he'd wandered off topic a bit. "So, the girls huh?"

"Sì, I believe that is what we were originally conversing about."

As Ezekiel explained his story he wore a look of serious guilt. Half a year to reflect had given him much to think about, and he spoke with solemn gravitas towards the whole matter. "The girls really took it all personally. Basically they all agreed to kick me off right there on the spot. They were really mad. God knows they had every right to be. They're definitely not dumber, a lot of the girls on this show are smarter than most guys I know. And Eva, she can break me in half. Oh, but uh, she's not here this season. She was in the first one, eh. You haven't met her."

"Fascinating. But you clearly seem to be doing better. What is your secret?"

"It's no secret eh. That's all on Lindsay. After the first season there was this big scavenger hunt for a million dollar case, and she and her friend Beth were the first to give me a second chance. Oh yeah, Beth's another girl who isn't here this season. She's awesome though, I was really bummed when I heard she wasn't returning but I can't blame her. If I won a million dollars, I wouldn't come back either. We worked together trying to find the case. We didn't end up winning, but we made a pretty good team."

"And then?"

"Well, after that, Lindsay left for the second season. Next time we saw each other she introduced me to her boyfriend Tyler. He's a really cool dude, we got along well and now he's gonna teach me how to talk to girls, eh."

"Self-betterment is a noble pursuit. I wish you the best of luck in that, amigo. And if you need any more advice about how to handle matters of a feminine sort, please do not hesitate to confide in me. You see the way the chicas look at me? I know what I am doing."

"No kidding, eh." Ezekiel nodded. "Well, I'll give you a holler if I think of anything. But I figure I'll hit the hay now, it's late and it's gonna be a long flight."

"Indeed."

With that, Alejandro left him to his business, surprised at the depth to the story of such a seeming simpleton. While he had no idea how he could use this rather unique situation to his advantage, the first step to such things was always to be aware. Aware he now was, and even if Ezekiel should probe not to be useful, he might at least prove fascinating.

---

Dawn brought with it the sight of the crystal clear blue of the Mediterranean sea below the aircraft. Breakfast was more microwave food, this time omelettes in a cup heated to perfection. It was a change from the dismal camp food they'd gotten used to in prior seasons, but hardly an inspiring diet. Sierra spent most of the morning fawning over Cody at breakfast, sitting at the table across from his. He'd look her way, and she'd pretend to be something else until he looked away, and then it was back to fawning.

A tug on her arm interrupted her train of thought, and she turned to see Heather sitting down next to her. Surely the audience would be as shocked as Sierra right now, and the editors helpfully chose now to splice in a bit of confessional from Heather herself.

"So here's the deal. I'm not exactly in what you'd call a strong position, what with Alejandro playing nice and making everyone think he's their friend or something. Seriously, how is nobody else seeing it! Ugh. I need allies if I'm going to survive. Ever since last season, Courtney's got it in her head that Duncan's got the secret hots for Gwen, and Gwen hates me, so I might be able to work something out there. But even if I get both on my team, two votes won't put me on top." She hammered her fist into her palm. "I'm here to win. And right now, that means… ugh. Playing nice with the new girl. The gross, creepy weirdo who has been helpfully gossiping away all our personal information the whole flight. Pretending to like that is going to be hard."

Meanwhile, in the real, present world, Heather's choice of words for Sierra was decidedly more diplomatic.

"So, Sierra, once we're on the ground, I was thinking we should team up. You're a fan, right? You've totally seen how Alejandro's been playing people for their votes right. If we don't stick together, he'll pick us off."

"Ooh, ooh! Coming to the expert are we?" Sierra asked, bouncing up and down excitedly and squealing, "Never fear. I've seen every episode of Total Drama a hundred times and I've devised a plan for exactly this situation! And now the queen of strategy in Total Drama is asking me for advice! Eeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Sp you'll stick with me on the next challenge?" Heather asked hopefully.

"Sure, but before we strategize we have to wait to see the team composition. We might not even be on the same team. Lucky for you, I have several plans on what to do if you make friends on the first day and get split onto different teams. I modeled them after a hypothetical Island AU where Katie and Sadie don't get to switch teams and have to compete alone."

"A… U?"

"Alternate Universe. It's like. You imagine a world where something was different, and that changes how things turn out."

It was at this point Heather was seriously reconsidering just how desperate she was for an alliance, especially with someone who might not even end up on her team. She didn't get to consider much longer however, as the public address system blared out Chef's voice everywhere aboard the aircraft.

"Attention, we are now beginning our descent into Egypt! I want asses in seats and strapped down, now! If any of you maggots see one of your rank not strapped in, you will properly seat them. I've not lost a man on any of my landings and I am not about to lose any of you punks today, is that understood?"

The message hit home hard and fast. The contestants scrambled into the available seats wherever they could find them, buckling in tight. Among all the contestants, Alejandro could sense an almost chilling sense of dread. The man over the speaker commanded such a presence that everyone aboard seemed more fearful of his wrath, than they had been of the impending landing.

"Is that our pilot?" Alejandro asked Tyler as he buckled in next to the jock.

"Who, Chef? He's kinda a bit of everything you know? Back on the island, he basically ran the camp, and you did not cross him. Ever." The dead serious look in Tyler's eyes sent a shiver up Alejandro's spine. Tyler was clearly a strong guy, easily one of the physically powerful contestants present, and yet in his expression, Alejandro saw a profound, primal fear when he talked about Chef. And yet, more than that as well.

"He sounds like a force to be reckoned with."

"Yeah man, remember the big dude on Chris's right at the awards ceremony? I think that's the only time you saw him, but if you did you'd remember."

"Wait, he works here? I thought he was just the bouncer!"

"Yup, that's him. Dude's the size of a truck and could probably pick one up. You don't have anything to worry about if you don't mess with him and you follow his rules though. We gotta teach you all of those, before you make a wrong move and get your butt chewed."

"Of course. What sort of guest would I be on your show if I didn't learn the house rules? Don't fear for me too much amigo, I've lived with very high expectations my whole life. Following hard rules is practically one of my habits."

And of course, learning to play them to your benefit, he thought to himself.

"If you say so, man," Tyler replied.

Below the aircraft, the sandy shores of the Mediterranean had come into view. Just beyond it, a single paved runway. From their current altitude it looked like a single pencil scratch on the golden canvas of the Sinai Peninsula, though only Chef and Emily up in the cockpit could appreciate the incredible vista. El Arish International airport was hardly equipped to handle such a titan of the skies, but it was the only concrete airstrip around for miles.

All this was very hard for the contestants to parse out from where they sat, as there were only a few small windows through which to see it. The jet made lazy circles down to the ground, taking its time in the descent from 10,000 meters in the sky. On some of the final circuits it made before lining up for approach, they could just barely see another plane already parked on the field. That must have been Chris's private VIP aircraft. Somewhat more ominously, they also noticed two Egyptian fighter jets flying defensive circles around the plane, a grim reminder of the dangers present in the region.

"Oh Jesus, oh holy Mary it's shaking, why is it shaking?" Owen began to chatter frantically as the airframe rumbled and shook on final approach.

Right there with him was Noah, who barely took notice of the turbulence as he perused his latest find in classical literature. "Relax, big guy, it's just the thermals rising off the desert. Maybe some currents. Nothing that'll kill us, probably."

"Probably? Probably?!"

"Well I can't say it definitely won't kill us. Thousands of people have died of refrigerators falling on them and you're never afraid to go near those."

"Of course I'm not afraid of those! They're full of food and lots of delicious goodies. I have a reason to risk my life opening a fridge, but what could a plane that's shaking apart possibly have that I want?"

Just then Izzy bounced into his lap and unbuckled him so she could strap herself in on top of him. "Paid vacation with your girlfriend and best friend?"

The effect she had on Owen was immediate and calming, and his frantic blubbering ceased once he had her in his arms.

"Oh. Haha, right. Yeah, you guys are the best."

Despite the bumps and rattles felt inside, the aircraft's descent and landing were surprisingly graceful. Insofar as putting several hundred tons onto the ground at hundreds of kilometers per hour could be graceful. Contact with the ground was a sharp jolt, followed by a heavy lurch that threw the contestants forward in their seats, as all thirty-two wheels slammed the brakes to bring the machine to a rapid stop.

Nobody dared to unbuckle until told otherwise, staying in their seats for the next couple minutes as the engines powered down to idle.

"Attention, this is your Captain speaking," Chef addressed them over the speaker. "I want to see everyone out of this tin-can yesterday! When I come around to the back of the plane everyone better be there, and you'd best be sure nobody is missing on the head count or there will be hell to pay!"

As quickly as they had strapped in, everyone at once unbuckled from their seat belts and harnesses, scrambling for the ladder. The rear door was already open at the base of it, and as they slid down the ladder in single file they gathered into an amorphous blob underneath the tail of their huge airplane. Just the two tail fins alone dwarfed the wingspan of a typical regional jet, and provided a welcome shade against the bright Egyptian sun they'd stepped into. The balmy 30 degree heat punished them for dressing in winter wear, and many sweaters and coats were ditched at the plane while they waited for Chef to come around.

It wasn't long before he made himself present, bringing with him the crew of interns that would be along for the ride this season, about ten or so including the flight crew. The contestants gave Chef their undivided attention, something the newcomers picked up on rather quickly and imitated. He surveyed the group with a perpetual scowl on his face, and nobody dared to look him in the eye.

"Alright, listen up gutter rats!" he bellowed. "I may have my hands full in the cockpit this season, but that doesn't mean shit's changed! My rules still apply, same as always, are we clear?"

The reply was as instant as it was universal. "Yes sir, Chef Hatchet!"

A single nod towards the contestants was all the indication they got that he found their response was satisfactory. "Now, stay here until we've unloaded everything for the challenge. I don't want to see any of you maggots wandering off into the desert untilChris or I says so, understood?"

"Yes sir, Chef Hatchet!"

"Good. Billy, Charlie, get over here and help me get the two ton truck out, we'll need it to unload that container over there. Emily, Rose, you get the jeep and pick up Chris." Chef then added in a voice low enough for nobody to hear, "Lazy bum won't leave his plane until we go get him."

Indeed, Chris's plane was parked on the airfield maybe a kilometer or so off in the distance, and the host showed no signs of leaving it on his own. For the next hour the contestants suffered through much idle waiting, and it would only be once the small white jeep had been retrieved from the cargo bay, that the flight attendants could fetch their pampered overlord from his airborne luxury suite, and the show could actually begin.

For the viewing audience at home however, it would seem as if Chris had arrived the instant the plane touched down. Thanks to the magic of editing, the plane would land and the next shot would be of the charismatic host with two pretty girls driving him to where the contestants were congregated. In between was a single confessional spot, courtesy of Cody.

"Man why'd it have to be Egypt? Now I owe Harold ten bucks. That's the last time I take a lousy bet from him…"

That Chris waited to be picked up might also be explained by the host's appearance—he had traded his usual clothes in for a long white robe and headdress that would look familiar to anyone who had seen the critically acclaimed film Lawrence of Arabia. Which is to say, nearly nobody in the cast, though Sierra would later discover the reference months later via a helpful comment on one of her Chris fan-pages.

"Wow, looks like today's gonna be a real scorcher. And it's not even summer yet! This place has some wicked heat in it dudes, and you better be ready to face it because today's challenge is going to be a fun little homage to T.E. Lawrence's Great War adventures."

"Who?" Gwen asked flatly. Similar looks of confusion among the cast gave Chris the impression nobody was going to get what this challenge was a reference to, but that didn't seem to particularly bother the host.

"Back in the day, a fellow named Lawrence showed up and decided the empire ruling around these parts was pretty uncool, but nobody wanted to do anything about it. So he goes around convincing a bunch of Arab dudes that this whole empire deal is pretty bogus, next thing you know that's a whole rebellion. So they planned up this big raid to blow up the Suez canal, which is like, important to the economy or something? Anyways, point is that you'll be traveling West towards the canal over the next couple days, just like the Arabs did when they raided it in 1815. You'll be traveling along Route 55 South—"

"Uh, Chris." Harold interjected. "The Great War was in 1915, not 1815. And the Arabs didn't raid the Suez Canal, the Ottomans did. The Arabs were rebelling against the Ott—"

"Wow, very fascinating, and sadly, irrelevant," Chris interrupted.

"How can you say that?" Harold asked with indignation. "Of course it's relevant, every conflict including those continuing today have their origin in—"

"That sounds like a lot of stuff our average viewer doesn't really care about." Chris once again shut him down. "Now if you don't mind me finishing? You'll head South along Route 55, then take a detour into the…" Chris trailed off as he squinted at the cue cards he was holding. "Sadder… All Hatin? Ah, whatever. It's a narrow road through the southwest that'll take you dudes through some gnarly hills, before you get back onto the main road and head west to the Suez. Good news for you is the rough parts should give you pretty good shelter for setting up camp."

"You want us to sleep in this wasteland?!" Leshawna asked, visibly flabbergasted.

"Won't have much of a choice dudes. It's a full three day's camel ride across this place, maybe two if you really drive hard."

"Could you repeat that?" Heather said tersely, "because I just thought I heard you say camel ride."

"No need to repeat, you heard correctly. Chef, show them their rides."

Chris's right hand man turned over the latch on the large container they had rolled off the ramp with the trucks, and inside resided six large dromedary camels. Their size was immense in a way one couldn't appreciate viewing them while safely caged and at a distance in a zoo, but was readily apparent when on the ground mere meters from them. They were much like a big horse in size, but unlike a lithe equine, these dromedaries were massively robust, their well-fed bodies almost looking comically unbalanced upon their thin, stilt-like legs. And yet these offered them steady footing, which they made use of to tug against the reins keeping them tied to the shipping container turned stable.

"You'll have the next hour to search the cargo hold for whatever you need to survive three days in the desert. There's six camels, that means three of you and about 50 kilos of baggage to a camel. Unless it's carrying Owen, who will probably need his own camel just for him.

"The challenge is a race, and the first to cross the finish line will get first dibs on the rewards for your next challenge. Arrive first, and you get the best pickings. Arrive last, and you'll get whatever everyone else has already rejected. So find some people to ride with, enough supplies for three days, and get your butts moving if you don't want to come in last! Once you have your supplies and your groups, go to Chef and he'll assign you your camel."

"That's it? We're not going to actually learn how to ride them? You just want us to hop on and go?" Cody asked fearfully.

"You've all been in challenges with some kind of animal handling." Chris shrugged, not a concern in his eyes.

It did little to assuage Cody's worries. "None of those were camels!" Before he could offer more protest, Sierra dashed into view and put a hand on his shoulder, leaning down to more properly look him in the eyes instead of at the top of his head.

"Never fear Codmeister." She grinned from ear to ear. "My mom's whole side of the family is Polynesian; navigating is in my blood! Just stick with me, and we'll find our way out of the desert, no problem. I'm practically a thousandth generation sailor, and the desert is just an ocean of sand!"

"Uh, I don't think that's something you inherit." Cody scratched his head. "I think you have to learn it."

"Nonsense. There were no schools ten-thousand years ago, it's all in the soul. Trust me. I know where I'm going at pretty much all times. Even my mom's always been impressed with how I have this freaky ability to find whatever I want." Her eyebrows waggled at him suggestively.

"Right, but how will that help us handle a camel?"

"Oh, it won't. But at least we won't get lost!"

Ignoring the whole diversion Sierra took Cody off on, Chris looked around the audience for any more questions. Seeing everyone in a thorough state of confusion and ready to ask more from him, his self-satisfied smug grin found a home right on his face. "Any more questions?"

"Uh, yeah." Noah raised a hand. "Are you sure this is safe?"

Chris laughed. "Listen dude, I know you don't get out much, or like, ever. But seriously, it's only three days. If you can't hack it, that's on you."

"Not the hike genius. This country. Don't you read the news?"

"Oh. That. Well fear not, because the Egyptian military's rolling out in force for this. They've been trying to recover their tourist industry after a few uh… accidents, and this show is the perfect publicity to show it's a safe place to visit. Every inch of ground you'll be covering has been scoured, and there will be jets in orbit and helicopters on standby every minute we're here."

"Great. That's what I call the pinnacle of safety, our beloved host having literal air strikes at his fingertips."

"Don't you just love me? If there are no more questions, then I'd suggest getting your butts moving! I want you dudes out of my face in the next hour. Move people, move!"

As everyone rushed back into the airplane to raid the cargo hold for whatever supplies they could find, Sierra continued following Cody closely. "So, me and Heather were thinking of teaming up, and we need a third person for our group and I'd love to have you. Uh, I mean, we would like to have you."

Cody seemed uncertain, his eyes flickering over to a certain blue-haired goth girl who he'd been eying since Season one. "I don't know, I don't think Gwen would approve. Sheand Heather still are at each other's throats…"

"You're still hung up over her?" Sierra's voice flared up with frustration, her arms crossing over her chest. "Have you even seen her confessionals about you? She's called you an annoying little brother, in front of millions of people, on live television. She just thinks you're some bratty little kid! You need to get over her and spend time with people who actually appreciate you."

The color drained from Cody's face. "She said that?" he asked as if a punch to the gut had knocked out all the wind in his lungs.

Realizing she may have struck a nerve too hard, Sierra backed up away from him and unfolded her arms. "Yeah? I… you didn't know? Did you never rewatch the show?"

"Uh, no. Not really." Cody shook his head. "After that bear attack I spent the rest of season one and most of season two in the hospital. Once I got out, the closest I got was watching 'Gwen Total Drama Best Moments' compilation videos online. Y'know?"

How dare he! was the first thought that popped into Sierra's head. That she was the author of no less than twelve "Cody Total Drama Best Cutest Moments" compilation videos, one of which had recently been her first video to surpass a million views, was an irony missed by her fit of jealous indignation.

"I knew I was no Trent. And when they were happy together I was happy to let them be. After everything that's happened I hoped I'd have a second shot," he sighed, trailing off and rubbing the back of his neck, "but a little brother? Is that really how she sees me?"

"Yeah. That's pretty much it."

Crestfallen, Cody looked at Gwen once more before his shoulders slumped and he shrugged at Sierra. "Whatever. I'll stick with you guys then."

As they arrived in the cargo hold, they passed by Lindsay and Tyler, the latter of which seemed curious about a particularly reverent Ezekiel. He had this sort of incredible childlike wonder about him, a fascination with every mundane dune and rock that he laid eyes upon from his vantage point high up on a stack of crates.

"Hey Zeke man, you seem pretty stoked to be here," Tyler said.

"Oh I don't even know how to put how… just, all of what I'm feeling eh? Growing up, lotta Bible reading, the only time I ever got to leave the house was for church. And this is, y'know, where it all actually happened eh? Egypt's where Moses led his people away from the Pharaohs, I figure we won't be too far from where he split the Red Sea when we hit the Suez yeah? Crazy to think we'll be walking close to the same path they did thousands of years ago, eh?"

Lindsay, for her part, was thoroughly amazed by the spirituality on display here, and would listen to Zeke talk. She was much like a young child watching nature documentaries, which were full of large words they didn't understand, but also displayed pretty animals they enjoyed. "Wow, that is so deep and thoughtful. Have you, like, always wanted to go here?"

"Never thought I'd have the chance eh. I guess you could call it a dream come true? Maybe it means something, like I was brought closer to God by being here so I could, I don't know, discover something, I guess?"

"Hey, talk to God all you want man"—Tyler gave him a supportive thumbs up—"but if He starts talking back, let me know. That might be just a heat stroke. I would know."

"Thanks, eh. Mind if I come along with you two? You've really helped me out between seasons and hey—maybe we'll end up on the same team?"

"Awww we'd love to!" Lindsay agreed, looking to Tyler for a similar level of approval and finding it easily.

"Sure thing. I'll start looking for water. Zeke, can you handle getting supplies for a camp?"

"You know it. I've slept outside more times than I can count—and some of those were actually camping."

A tug on her arm pulled Sierra's attention back to Heather. "Don't bother with those two. Lindsiot already thinks I'm satan or whatever because of—" She cut herself off and paused. "You already know about all this right?"

"Duh." Sierra scoffed as if it were a topic which even the most inexperienced neophyte fan ought to be familiar with. "Didn't you two make up during Action though?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that." Heather sighed. "Let's just say that she's forgiven me, but she still doesn't trust me."

"I wouldn't either if I was in her shoes," Cody remarked morosely, glaring over at Gwen. "You just can't trust some people."

"Not that I mind him being on our side about Gothy, but what the hell happened?" Heather asked Sierra in a lowered voice. "That dork was saying her name in his sleep on the flight over here and now he's looking at her like she stabbed a puppy in front of him. What gives?"

"Oh! I told him about what Gwen said about him in the confessionals. Now he can realize that she's not interested and realize how perfect I am for him!"

Confusion turned to shock in Heather's expression, grabbing Sierra's shoulders and pulling her down to eye level. "You what?!" she snapped. "You had that strategic information up your sleeve and you just blew it to get him to rebound into you?"

"But it's all true! The sooner Cody realizes what she really thinks of him, the sooner he can move on from that dumb crush!"

Facepalming, Heather had to step back and take a deep breath, trying to contain herself. This alliance with Sierra was already proving potentially more stressful than it was worth. But she still had valuable information. The things Heather would put up with for an advantage amazed even her sometimes.

"You can't just drop huge bombshells on people like that and expect them to take it well. If you want to manipul—get people to do what you want them to, you have to nudge them. Ugh, we're already behind on packing for the challenge, so we'll talk about this later. Just, try not to upset Cody any more, alright?"

Reluctantly, Sierra nodded in agreement, rolling her eyes as soon as she turned away from Heather. Cody would be just fine, given a few minutes he'd be out of his funk, and his life would be so much better for having discovered the truth. And hey, keeping an eye on him while he was getting over it was an assignment she could do all season.

Now that there was the real risk a frustrated Cody might do something stupid in front of Gwen, Heather kept an eye on her while she went through a checklist of things they needed. Surviving the desert was probably like surviving the woods, with more consideration lent to shade and water, after all. As Gwen and Bridgette left the cargo bay with their latest loot in hand, they spotted DJ alone and flagged him down.

"Hey DJ, found anyone to partner with yet?" Bridgette asked. "We could use an extra set of hands."

"I'm free Bridge. Let me help you out."

For two people who could not possibly look more different, Bridgette and DJ had an unspoken mutual understanding and a remarkable similarity of temperament. It translated in practice to a very natural working relationship between the two, with the Jamaican giant seemingly able to sense Bridgette's intent before she'd made it clear verbally. Coupled with his titanic strength, there was no task they were left incapable of performing easily, and they would be one of the first teams to finish their preparations.

Elsewhere, Alejandro was on the hunt, and it brought him surprisingly close to Heather despite starting on nearly the opposite end of the cargo bay. More specifically, he'd pieced together from context clues that Gwen was fresh off a breakup, and Bridgette's relationship had unexpectedly turned long distance.

Putting on his most charming smile, he looked both girls right in the eyes as he approached. He got just close enough to be bold, within arm's reach.

"Ladies, may I be of some help?" he asked. "Surely such beauty shouldn't be made to suffer the hardships of this dry land."

Bridgette's cheeks turned rosey and she tried to stifle her bubbly giggles. "Wow, such a charmer. Do you always lay on the compliments so thick for girls who already have boyfriends?" she asked.

"Just because a woman can't be mine doesn't mean I have to ignore her radiance," Alejandro replied. His eyes turned to Gwen. "But you? You're an ivory idol, free in the world of love, as I've gathered."

Gwen fought hard to keep her cold exterior up. She was freshly sore from open wounds in her heart, and Alejandro had such a beautiful accent and a voice that made even the most verbose and obtuse compliments sound sweet. His presence was like a promise of comfort, but also a danger of more of the same disappointment and heartbreak. She held her hands together in front of herself and tried her best to look away from his eyes.

"Thanks but… I'm not really looking right now." She bit her bottom lip, and for a moment, her eyes flickered past Alejandro to an unseen point beyond. "Besides, I don't think you're my type."

"And we've already got all the help we need." Bridgette thumbed over at DJ, who was carrying around two of those big 5-gallon water jugs you see on those water dispensers. A feat of strength to be sure, but not a phenomenal one. What was phenomenal however, was how he had one in each hand as casually as one would hold a water bottle. Alejandro was suitably impressed, and nodded in acknowledgement of DJ.

"It seems all your needs are well taken care of then," he said, bowing and stepping back with uncanny grace for a young man of such a robust build. "Until next time."

One might attain the false impression of Alejandro as courteous to a fault, even somewhat of a pushover for taking the rejection so lightly. Such would be a severe misjudgement of his character. As the son of the diplomat, Alejandro understood what few did at his age—how to play the long game. He had tested the waters boldly with his unabashed flattery, and in doing so found some interesting results, which he went up to the confessional to share.

"Bridgette seems unusually insistent that she has a boyfriend any time a guy tries to get familiar with her," he noted. "Perhaps it means nothing. Or perhaps it means she's interested, that she's feeling things she doesn't want to act on, and only the obligation of her relationship keeps her decent. It's a line of investigation I'll have to pursue."

"As for Gwen. She's putting up a defense, that much is easy to see. It's as if she wants to move on, but she can't. Is she waiting for something? She mentioned that I am not her type, which can be a polite euphemism when rejecting someone, or it could be real and literal. It's too early to say, and it may be presumptive of me to say, but already I have ideas about what it might be."

He was none too humble in how he carried himself in the confessional, and looked absolutely beside himself with smugness about his ability to start forming ideas from a single line from a conversation. On that ominous note he vacated the confessional and headed back down into the cargo bay.

Coming down the ladder, he noticed that Harold and Leshawna had converged with Tyler, Lindsay and Ezekiel's group, with the rural farm boy and the orange haired nerdling having split off from the rest to have their own aside.

"It's such bogus that Chris wouldn't let me flex my mad history skills," Harold sighed with frustration. "That knob probably wouldn't know Egypt from Persia if Cyrus the Great kicked his ass."

"Yeah eh! I bet he thinks Jesus built the Ark"—Ezekiel laughed a very nasally laugh that came with bouts of snorting—"or that Muhammed betrayed him at the Last Supper, eh?"

"Gentlemen!" Alejandro interjected in a most cordial and friendly tone. "It's good to finally see some intellectual discussion of my own caliber. It is truly a shame our host couldn't tell Muhammed from Muhammed Ali, there is such a rich history to this part of the world that a more erudite person could appreciate."

Pushing his glasses back up his nose as they slid down from sweat, Harold nodded in agreement. "I'll say. So, have you come to me for my legendary expertise in survival skills? For such a studied man of the wilderness as myself, the daunting hazards of the desert are most easily overcome."

It took physical restraint on Alejandro's part not to burst out laughing at the geek's superfluous use of language. Hiding disgust and contempt was something well-practiced by the diplomat's son, but forcing down laughter was a skill less well honed, and a welcome challenge of his prowess. "Good with words too, I see," he said, his facial muscles straining to keep his lips straight. "If you and your lady have room for one more, then perhaps I may join and learn from the master?"

The way Harold was visibly soaking up the praise would be obvious to anyone—they needn't have Alejandro's perceptiveness or Sierra's vast depth of knowledge. That he was so easily given in to flattery delighted Alejandro greatly. While Harold and Leshawna were difficult to decipher as a pair, individually they wore their hearts on their sleeve, and were very much a case of what you see is what you get.

"I'm honored you wish to absorb my teachings. But a gentleman always consults his lady before making decisions."

Turning to Leshawna, he'd find her already looking their way. Or more correctly, in Alejandro's direction.

"You wanna bring all that sugar along? Not afraid he'll eat up all the attention H-bomb?"

"What do I have to fear?" Harold puffed up his nonexistent chest muscles. "I'm about the coolest thing on this plane. Stick with me and you'll be sure to arrive at the finish line first."

"See? That's why I can't get enough of you, stringbean. You rock that confidence."

"And I'm glad I'll be serving under such a competent leader," Alejandro added. The way Harold beamed after that was simply delightful. He was already thinking of Alejandro as someone who trusted in his expertise and skills, real or otherwise.

"Hey Lefonda, since Harry and Edward are getting along so well, why don't we all go together?" Lindsay suggested. "We can share stuff and if one of us gets hurt there will be more of us to help."

"An excellent idea from a beautiful girl," Alejandro nodded in agreement.

"Hey, back off man, she's mine," Tyler pushed him back away from Lindsay, who looked at him as blankly as one can look at someone they are starstruck with love by.

"Uh, who are you again?"

"How could you forget! Come on Linds, it's me, Tyler! Tyler!"

"You're not Tyler. Tyler's like, the cutest ever, and and really hunky, and sweet, and like, so dreamy. There's nobody here like that," she said, and winked at him when she thought nobody else could see. They definitely could, but Lindsay didn't know that.

"Anyways, are we all in agreement?" Alejandro cleared his throat to draw attention back to himself. "We ride together, yes?"

"Sure thing, eh."

"Fine by me."

"Love it!"

"Woohoo! Desert hiking to the extreme with my girl and my buds! Yeah!"

Tyler's overenthusiastic response drew a bit of attention, including that of Heather. "Did you hear that?" she asked Sierra. "They're teaming up to give themselves an advantage. Two can play at that game."

"But who's left to team up with?" Sierra asked.

"I don't see juvie bait and his lawyer girlfriend in that group. Let's find them before the new guy sinks his claws into them too."

Locating the show's resident punk and the prim and proper law-school student was a matter of scouring the cargo bay until they found the former carving various vulgar shapes into a wood palette braced between two crates. Duncan hadn't so much as packed a single water bottle, and Courtney was busy filling their bags in between glaring at him.

"Duncan, we need to get ready for this trip. Stop making wood carvings of your genitals and start helping me pack!"

"Relax sweetheart, it's just three days. I've gone longer without food in prison. I figure we just travel light and ride that camel hard so we get there first. There's bound to be a reward for being first right?"

"Ugh, you can't just go through life ignoring the rules and thinking you can just skip ahead with some macho stunt," Courtney retorted. "What if you ride the camel too hard and we're stuck out in the desert with a dead camel hundreds of miles from help? What then?"

"Aren't you the one who wants to be some big-shot lawyer one day? How are you ever going to get anywhere if you don't grab life by the horns and take some risks? I thought you were just starting to loosen up and learn to live a little when we started dating, but that pole has gone twice as far up your ass as before."

"Well I'm sorry I'm concerned for our lives!" Courtney threw her arms skywards in frustration.

"Look, I'm not saying we ride off with nothing," Duncan relented, once he'd given her some time to cool off a bit. "Just pack the minimum so we're faster. Yeah, it's risky, but you heard Chris right? The army's got this place on total lockdown. They'll probably have helicopters, jets and tanks all over the place. If we get into trouble, rescue's only a few minutes out right?"

"So you do have an actual plan?" Courtney smirked, giving his hair an affectionate ruffle. "Maybe you're learning something after all."

"Hey don't give yourself too much credit princess. It takes a good plan to pull off a good crime."

Courtney's expression soured and she crossed her arms, shaking her head in disapproval. "That's something I want you to get away from."

Putting up his hands defensively, Duncan nodded. "I know, I know. I'm speaking from past experience. I've been clean since we hooked up, promise."

It was at that moment that Heather decided to step into view of the couple. "Heard you two were travelling light. Smart."

"Yeah, and that generally means going alone, so whatever you're selling, we ain't buying," Duncan cut her off, but as he did Courtney put a restraining hand on his shoulder and pulled him back.

"Not so fast. Let's hear her out," Courtney said, looking at Heather skeptically. "You have some nerve coming to us for an alliance after everything you've done." She then nodded solemnly. "I respect that."

"Uh, thanks? Listen, two other teams are already forming an alliance. They'll be sharing supplies and traveling together. If we want to win, we have to start sticking together like they are."

Courtney still didn't look convinced. "So what? The more people they have, the more it will slow them down. They can only go as fast as their weakest link."

"Uh, they'll all be riding camels, it doesn't matter how fast each person is," Heather pointed out. "So what's important is how fast you can set up and pack up camp, right? More hands means that goes faster, right?"

Now that seemed to melt the ice, and earned a nod of approval from Courney. "Hm, you're right. We could make up a lot of time with a strict regimen in regards to our camp operations."

"Why camp? Just sleep on the camel." Duncan shrugged. "Can't be much worse than a prison cell."

"Not all of us have your enviable experience sleeping on concrete floors, jailbird," Heather retorted.

"For your information, I'm making sure Duncan never steps foot near a correctional facility again." Courtney wrapped her arms around his chest defensively. "Isn't that right?"

"Heh yup. I'm going clean alright. But that doesn't mean I just forgot those useful skills."

Heather rolled her eyes. The day Duncan actually got off his life of crime was the day she grew a conscience beyond whatever got her further in the game. In short, a day not soon in passing. "Whatever. So are you in or what?"

Duncan and Courtney alternated between looking at each other, and looking at Heather. Now that weirded Heather out. The fighting she could tune out, that was normal, but when they communicated without speaking, that was entirely uncanny to her. It was too quiet. She wished they'd just go back to yelling.

"Very well." Courtney nodded in agreement, offering Heather a handshake. She readily accepted it, sealing the deal to, at least for now, work together. "your proposal is acceptable. Consider this meeting adjourned."

As the second supergroup formed, the last team by process of elimination was Owen, Noah and Izzy. In fact, they were actually one of the very first groups to form, being a couple and their best friend, but the choice in editing to focus on the newcomers and their interactions would make it seem to viewers that these three were actually the final team.

"No offense big guy, but we're probably going to want a cart." Noah patted Owen on the back. "We don't want to shatter our poor camel's legs."

"Oh don't worry guys, if the camel breaks, you can ride me the rest of the way," Owen joked.

"I already ride you. Woohoo!" Izzy laughed maniacally, winking and shooting Owen finger-guns. Noah couldn't roll his eyes far enough to express his thoughts on her unique brand of flirting.

"But seriously. Izzy, you get the food and water so Owen doesn't snack away our supplies while packing them. Big boy, you're with me, we're going to find you a cart."

Looking after the two was an almost paternal task for Noah. Izzy was too unhinged and had no sense of self preservation, and Owen was well-meaning but not always strong on common sense. He could at least be glad Katie and Sadie weren't here—their energy combined with Izzy's would make it near impossible to contain the chaos. Hanging out with all of them at once was fine at Playa Des Losers when there was no pressure to win challenges or survive whatever torture Chris was throwing at them, but out here? No thank you.

With some time, he and Owen found a cart suitable to carry the latter on their journey. Other teams were starting to complete their preparations by now, and as the forty-five minute mark passed, more and more people were being issued their camels. The first contestants to get them were understandably nervous. It was Bridgette who took the first leap of faith among those early to complete their prep.

She approached the camel, led out on its reins by Billy and one of the junior interns. Flanking them was Chef, whose stature was still imposing even next to the camel—or perhaps, even more imposing, given that he could look down on all but the largest of them. If anything went awry with the animal handling, he looked single handedly capable of wrestling it to the ground.

The creature they were presenting her with didn't seem hostile to Bridgette, and it curiously extended its neck in her direction, nostrils flaring as her hand came close enough to smell.

"There there, easy," she whispered, and indeed the camel seemed to understand her.

"There you go." Billy nodded along as he passed the reins to her free hand. "Remember these aren't wild animals, they're raised around people so they know how to read you."

Bridgette began walking the camel away from the containerized stables and towards their packed bags. It kept pace with her while walking, not once tugging at its reins or kicking her, and the rest of the cast watched in awe of her animal handling prowess.

"Now, sit," she ordered it firmly, and it dropped down obediently to a sitting position.

"You really do have a way with animals," Gwen commented as she began fastening the bags to the saddle.

"It's true, but I don't deserve all the credit." Bridgette petted the beast of burden on the head affectionately. "Our new friend here is a beautiful creature, I was only able to connect with her because she opened up to me first."

"It's like Mama always said, trust is a two way street." DJ nodded sagely.

Up next was Heather, who was much less zen and stately about her approach. She eyed her own camel warily as she tried to mimic how Bridgette did it.

"Okay you big stupid sand horse, let's just get this over with," she muttered. Her hawkish gaze met the dromedary's eyes, and the camel began to fidget and stamp its feet nervously. Heather's eyes were like that of a predator from its perspective, and as soon as she was handed the reins it tried to pull away from her.

"Sierra, a little help?"

The fangirl rushed to her side to help with the reigns, and with her strength they were able to get a hold of the fussy camel. The more they tried to force it into line the more it struggled. Sierra proved shockingly powerful, nearly able to pull the whole animal along by the reins against its will.

Suddenly the animal kicked at her, and as Sierra jumped backwards to avoid it she lost her balance. With no feet on the ground to anchor her, all the force from her pulling on the reins sent her tumbling into the sand below, right beneath the camel. Sierra screamed in terror, which only served to agitate the camel, which began stamping and grunting in distress with the girl on her back beneath it, right in the way of those powerful hooves.

The danger was thankfully short lived, as Chef grabbed the dromedary bodily and pulled it well clear of Sierra, allowing Heather to get in and pull her back to her feet and to safety. One Chef had it under control, Billy worked to calm the animal down to get it back into a manageable state. Heather, meanwhile, was thoroughly shaken by the near-disaster.

"Ugh, it's defective or whatever. Get me another one," she demanded testily.

"There's nothing wrong with that camel," Bridgette interjected. "You came up to it acting freaked out, and they can sense that!"

"What do you know, budgie whisperer?" Heather snapped at her harshly.

"No, she's right." Billy said, bringing the camel back to her after he'd calmed it. "Sierra, maybe you'd like to try?"

"Ooh! Ooh! Yes please! I'm a seventh generation Bavarian sheep herder on my dad's side, I totally got this."

Though her approach was more brash than Bridgette's, Sierra's perhaps unwarranted confidence in her abilities did at least seem to inspire the faith of the camel. At least long enough to get it over to their supplies and sat down, with a bit of yelling and a depressed Cody being nearly kicked twice.

With the first few examples setting the tone, one by one the others soon began handling their camels. Docile as they were for such large animals with a reputation for a bad temper, they were still large animals. Moreover, they required a certain confidence and authority to control. That nobody was injured in the whole affair was a tribute to the skills of the interns, and the contestants quickly adapting to strange new tasks set upon them by the host.

Once the hour mark arrived, Chris ordered everyone out of the cargo hold. What they had was what they'd have to live with, but they weren't going to be dismissed quite yet.

"Prep time's over peeps, but there's still a few things before you get to the real fun. First things first, everyone on each team gets a map and compass. Don't say I never do nice things for you," Chris explained while Chef and the interns distributed said maps and compasses. "And for one lucky member of each team, a GPS. Decide among yourselves who gets it."

"Your GPS units are not properly weatherproofed against these arid conditions," Rose commented as she handed one to Alejandro, Harold and Leshawna's group. "I recommend limited use of it to correct for navigational errors with your paper map and magnetic compass. It may fail with extended exposure to sand and heat."

"Hey!" Chris snapped at her. "You're spoiling my fun! They were supposed to find that out after those pieces of junk broke."

"Lay off Chris," Billy spoke up, "I didn't explain that to her, it's not her fault she didn't know."

Glaring at the leader of the intern corps, Chris puts his hands into a steeple as he cast a silent judgement upon the blond. "You run a tight ship, Billy. I'd hate to think you were slipping. Losing your mojo. That would be very bad for everyone, considering how hard it is to find a replacement between intercontinental flights, dude."

"I'm not, sir," he replied quickly. "it was just a minor miscommunication."

The host shrugged and returned his attention to the contestants, but addressed Billy with one last remark. "I know. But if I wasn't keeping you on your toes, where would the fun be in that, hm?"

Feeling that his point was made, his next words were to the teens gathered in front of him with their beasts of burden ready to take them into the desert. "One last thing. Along your route there will be three landmarks with colored flags. Before you can keep going, you gotta find a ticket hidden somewhere in the area marked off by the flags. No ticket, no go." As an example, Chris held up a blue strip of paper with the Total Drama logo in red across the front of it.

"If we get to a landmark first can we just steal all the tickets we can find and use them to pass the rest?" Duncan asked.

"Nope," Chris shook his head, "one team, one landmark, one ticket. Them's the rules, tiger. And each of you should have one when you cross the finish line. I wouldn't want to be the poor schmuck without a ticket."

"Great, we have to spend even more time wandering around in this sandbox." Noah rolled his eyes. "And you won't even tell us why we need these stupid pieces of paper after the finish line."

"What can I say? The more confused you are, the more fun I have," Chris said as he drew a starter pistol from the pockets of his white robes. "On my mark, mount your camels and head out.

"Three!

"Two!

"One!"

The thunderous crack of the starter pistol going off announced the "go", and all at once eighteen teens saddled up on their mounts. One by one they stood, and the convoy marched into the scorching sands of the Sinai Peninsula. Slowly the plane became smaller and smaller behind them, and the desert seemed to grow vast, and all-encompassing. Before it had just been something lingering in the background as they had scurried about their airborne home preparing, but as they marched away from it, the world seemed to swallow them whole over the course of several hours.

Acutely aware of the dangers of the sun when endured for long periods, all of the contestants provided shade or coverings for themselves. Many wore broad hats, others affixed sun-shades and parasols to their saddles to shield them from the burning sun. Even in what was relatively mild heat for the region, heat stroke was an ever-present danger. For those that could handle the climate, sunburn still posed a serious risk, and sunscreen had been a premium commodity during the looting of the plane.

As each camel and its riders formed into one of the two big groups, a steady race to stay ahead began. The battle to cut ahead was fought over the course of hours as sand swallowed the plane, and the road and maps became the only reference point in the ocean of dunes. Each side slowly pushed their beasts a little bit faster than before. A kilometer per hour, maybe. Perhaps a half or quarter of one. The afternoon would melt into evening, and then into sunset. Through such long stretches of time, small advantages in speed could translate to entire kilometers gained.

Not everyone was pleased with the arrangement however. Duncan outwardly balked at the cautious, steady approach.

"Heh I bet I could ride this big ugly thing right past Dorkus and his entourage," he said, jerking his thumb at Harold up in the lead. "We'd be way ahead in no time."

"Tsk tsk tsk," Courtney wagged her finger coyly at Duncan, one arm around his waist and her chin on his shoulder, "think you're a hot camel jockey cause you've been riding all day?"

"I'm hot stuff with anything I can jump on and ride," he replied flirtatiously. "I bet you'd love to see me leave these posers way back in the dust, wouldn't you?"

"Oh it'd be real fun," Courtney admitted, but a sigh and a shake of her head told him he wouldn't get to try it, "but remember what we talked about? It's a three day race, we have to gain time by finding tickets and getting camp set up quickly, remember? Once we can see the finish line and distance isn't a problem, you can roast them for dinner." And indeed, before their journey was done Duncan would have his chance to test his skills as a rider, pushing himself and his animal to their limits. Courtney's promise would not go unfulfilled.

Soon, Courtney would get a chance to prove her theory. As the sun began to dip towards the horizon, they came up towards more rugged territory. Wadis traced the remnants of riverbeds. Some were recent, others were profoundly ancient, nestled between the slopes of hills that might have once been the shoreline of a river or lake thousands or millions of years ago.

Along the road ahead was a small town. Just to the right of it, maybe a kilometer or so, was a long, low hill ringed with tall green flags. It stretched out to the right as far as the eye could see, but for the challenge all that mattered was the nearest corner. His eyes peering at an increasingly orange background, Ezekiel was the first to make out the shapes in the distance, and realize what they were.

"Look eh! There's those flags Chris was saying about! Let's hoof it!"

"Nice catch, prairie boy!" Izzy cheered him on from the back of the group. "Giddy up Getrude!"

Almost all at once both herds of animals broke into a sprint. Not all realized immediately what was going on, but nobody wanted to be last to arrive at whatever important thing it was that had been spotted. The hoofbeats were thunderous, they were a roll of drums heralding the arrival of a battery of teens who wanted nothing more than to claw their way to fame and fortune. Each of them could envision their hands on screens the world over, from the very first leg of the very first challenge.

In the distance, in the town by the hill, residents watched silently. These to them were strange people from a strange, faraway land. Perhaps it was best that most were unaware of the decadent, all-consuming phenomena of reality TV that had brought them here. To the people of this land they were simply more visitors in a long line. Before them had come many tourists, and before the tourists, came conquerors. Some had worn turbans and carried kilijs, encompassing this part of the world under Ottoman rule. Still others had brought the reign of the Union Jack, wearing brodie helmets and rifles. Their empire too, had since passed on.

Now they came wearing gawky teen fashion from Hot Topic and the Gap, bearing not swords or guns but instead mp3 players and the cheap commercial tabloids that their overseer had stuffed the plane with. Much of the content was about reality TV itself, and a few op eds even speculated about the new season of Total Drama to premier that summer. If the pen is indeed mightier than the sword, and one accepts a printer as the natural evolution of the pen, then the tabloid industry could readily be argued to be a juggernaut of force on a level to rival the greatest military superpowers. And the thousands of cheap pieces of paper, upon which at any given time millions of eyes were fixated on, were the ammunition with which they waged their war against common decency and good taste.

The contestants had holstered these weapons of mass destruction, and came upon the hill with various ropes, hooks and the vigor with which to properly use them. Tyler excitedly led the charge for his team, taking the rocky slopes with nothing but sheer guts and strong hands. The number of times he lost his footing and only held on by a pinky were as innumerable as they were embarrassing. But every time it seemed as though he was about to fall, he'd hear Lindsay shrieking in terror from the bottom. The thought of letting her down was far more terrifying than getting hurt. He got hurt all the time, it was an ordinary part of life to him as much as breathing. But disappointing his girl? That was the sort of pain that got adrenaline pumping and gave him the strength to haul his whole body weight up a rock ledge with just one arm.

For the other team, Courtney was chosen to take the rope to the top of the hill and fasten the line to bring the rest of her team up. Her approach was methodical and steady, each hold carefully chosen. Her verterancy in rock-climbing, of which she spoke much about, pertaining to her training as a counselor as it did, was vividly visible in her technique. What Courtney lacked in enthusiasm and outward bravado, she made up for in grace and professionalism. And Duncan got a great view of her hindquarters in action out of the deal.

"Sometimes I feel like the luckiest guy on this whole show," he remarked, whistling salaciously at the eye-candy above. It wasn't just the view either though. As rough as things were with Courtney, he still loved having a girl who could kick ass and take names. The smile it brought to his face was as genuine as any he could muster.

"You could say that again," Cody nodded in agreement.

Through exhaustive effort, Tyler was the first up. But he was breathless due to his overexertion and struggled to get the rope secured, giving Courtney precious seconds to make time up. Just as Tyler finished anchoring his line, Courtney arrived on the hilltop, with energy to spare for a quick and efficient bit of work with the rope.

One by one the teens scrambled to the top of the hill, turning over every stone and sifting through every grain of sand in that ring of flags. Fortune smiled upon the faithful for Ezekiel, who was the first on his team to dig a green-colored ticket out from beneath a small dried up shrub.

"Nice work dude!" Tyler gave him a high-five as he showed off his prize. The farm boy only hesitated a little before giving the open palm it's requisite smack.

"Thanks but it was just luck and a bit of blessing, eh? Not much I can take credit for, no sir." He shook his head.

"Nonsense, man, you've got skills!" Tyler encouraged him with the enthusiasm of a big friendly dog.

"How about we stay up here and help the others? We did agree to work together right?" Ezekiel replied.

"Count me in. I love extreme scavenger hunts! Yeah!"

Their altruism in staying behind reaped benefits soon after. Coming to the aid of Noah, Owen and Izzy, Tyler was able to help the latter up onto a tall boulder with a ticket on top of it. Once the item was secure, Izzy performed a backflip off the top of the rock and landed derriere first into the sand with a cacophonic laugh.

"Hey Zeke check it out, mine's red!" She said, matching her slip of paper up against the one the farm boy held in his hand. Indeed, hers was a bright stop sign red, not at all like the lime green of Ezekiel's ticket. They both had the same official Total Drama logo. That both were genuine articles, there was no doubt.

"Huh, I guess there's multiple colors eh?" He tilted his head, "Wonder if that's important."

"I'm sure it will be," Noah remarked dryly. "It wouldn't be in the game if it wasn't there to make us suffer somehow."

Their success had not gone unnoticed by the others, who had yet to find a single ticket. Having just brought up the final member of their team on the rope line, Courtney rushed to join her team in the search for tickets.

"Did you hear?" Heather asked her. "Those losers over there are already up two tickets and we've found squat! Nothing."

"I'm not deaf," Courtney replied testily as she turned over stones and checked underneath desiccated shrubs. "We just have to push on and catch up."

Over the next few minutes, the hill swarmed with contestants. The total area looked about half the size of a soccer field, and with nearly twenty people packed onto it, it was a crowded place to be looking for valuable items. The tide turned for Courtney's team when she unearthed a red ticket like Izzy's. Minutes after that, Gwen called out the location of another ticket.

"Well, what are you waiting for, grab it!" Courtney snapped at her.

"Just one problem Courtney." Bridgette chimed in, motioning her over to the side of the hilltop opposite the way they ascended. Beyond a small ledge was a steep drop down the hillside, and halfway along the descent was a red ticket wedged between two rocks.

"We have to get that ticket," Courtney said. "Does anyone have any extra rope?"

"Just this bit of spare cord." Bridgette motioned to about three or four meters of coiled line, no thicker than her finger, tied through one of the belt loops on her pants.

"No way!" Courtney shook her head. "There's too much risk, that flimsy thing won't hold her if she falls."

"Then I won't fall," Gwen said bluntly. "Bridgette, give me the rope. The longer we stand here yacking the bigger head start they get."

Bridgette and Courtney shared a concerned look between them, but the former ultimately relinquished her line to Gwen, who snapped it onto her belt with a carabiner at the end.

"Just be careful, okay?" Courtney cautioned Gwen as she prepared to go down the hillside, "I have enough trouble looking after one rebellious knucklehead."

Gwen wanted to just shrug off her warning, not one to pay mind to Courtney's bossy rulership of whatever group she found herself in. Yet, here it seemed that she was genuinely concerned for her safety, and for Gwen that at least merited a nod. "Yeah, sure. I'll… be careful, or whatever."

As promised, she began her descent cautiously. It was a steep hill and not a sheer cliff, so she could manage the descent fairly well without having to rely on the rope to hold her up. It was still plenty steep enough to hurt if she fell, and how much it hurt was still vivid in her memory after one particular challenge in season one. She reached the end of the paracord line and was just above where the ticket was lodged into the rock, but she just couldn't reach.

Slowly, carefully she inverted herself, legs up, arms down, to get more reach. Her boots wedged into a crevice above so she wouldn't slide down, and she reached for the scarlet red paper strip. She was centimeters away from having it. She stretched out as far as she could, not only extending her arms but her legs and waist to just get those last few hairs widths she'd need to get purchase against the ticket.

After several agonizing seconds, her chalky fingertips managed to snag a good hold on the end of the ticket.

"Got it!" she cried. The news carried to her teammates waiting at the top, and cries of jubilation resounded through the hills. Now victorious, she just had to get back to the top.

Slowly she began to pull her feet from the ledge, so she could turn herself upright and climb back. Suddenly and rapidly however, the whole sandstone ledge the crevice was a part of shattered into dust, and Gwen was suddenly and roughly jolted out of the precarious hold she'd placed herself in. Now unbalanced her body tumbled, suspended by the paracord as intended for maybe the first few seconds. Then the unmistakable snap of tearing fabric made itself heard, and Gwen could feel as she was loosed from the cord.

At the top, her raspy scream echoed across the desert hilltop, and all heads snapped towards the direction it came from. Duncan's face turned a deadly shade of pale, and he was first to rush to the opposite side of the hill to retrieve their climbing rope. Courtney was fast on his heels, but skidded to a halt as caught sight of Harold raising up one green ticket in his hand. The other team had all three of their tickets and could move on. She had hers already, staying behind now meant putting Gwen's wellbeing over that of her performance in the competition.

Duncan had already undone the rope and was hauling it up as fast as humanly possible. Courtney felt like she was standing on the edge of a crumbling cliff, pressure was mounting to make a decision. Stay or go, the pressure mounted.

Stay or go? Choose people over ambition?

Stay or go? Last time she'd opened up, one of her own teammates backstabbed her.

Stay or go? Time was up.

---

A/N: Changing the challenge was something I had in mind for a while- I understand the cultural heritage importance of the pyramids but I also feel like they're the only thing about Egypt that gets talked about. Even if it's not as "safe" of a choice as the pyramids, I wanted to set the challenge in a region steeped in their more modern, Arabic history.

Alejandro in this story isn't just going to breeze through making people trip over him effortlessly. Sure, he's attractive and charming, but he'll need more strategy here to come out on top than just making everyone else in the game forget they have a brain. So I changed up his interactions with the girls accordingly- they like him, sure, but he hasn't really gotten into their heads yet. I think that's an important distinction.

I didn't like Cody simping for Gwen after he apparently learned his lesson in TDI, and I also didn't like that Sierra never talked to him about the issue. And in fixing that I corrected some continuity from Island- of course, if he'd been attacked by a bear he'd have been out for pretty much the whole season and then some. It was always kinda weird that he leaves the island in a full body cast and then a few days or weeks later in Playa Des Losers he's completely fine except for some sunburns.'

It's fun to write Heather being so desperate she actually has to play nice. She's still snarky and ice cold but she has to take the edge off.