**Authors notes: as I've said before I do not own any rights to Twilight or it's characters. We are now where the original story begins. Enjoy! I hope you like where I take this! Some dialogue is borrowed directly from Midnight Sun. I promise we're going to see the story diverge from the original after this, but I thought it would be kind of a cool "deja vu" vibe if I still kept certain things similar or the same. Certain events remain fate in this reimagining meaning no matter what they can't be escaped, but I promise to try and offer a fresh take on a story we all know and love! **
Chapter 1.
It was lunchtime at Forks High School. Well, lunchtime for the humans anyway. Though the burning in my throat and hollow feeling inside me said that I would also need to feed soon. I just had to stay in control until the evening when I could go hunting. Mind over matter. I only had to suffer through two more classes until the day was over. It's not like I couldn't leave school if I wanted to. In fact, my family would probably encourage it right now, but I didn't want their pity later. I would just have to hold my breath.
I hated being thought of as the weakest link. Having to run away and hunt every time there was what someone else deemed a close call. I didn't even know what I would consider a close call anymore. There was always someone one step ahead of me. Alice was always watching the future for me to slip up, and Edward would read my thoughts to try and catch what she couldn't. The golden children of the family. I loved them both to death, and I was happy they found each other. They truly were soul mates. However, between both of their gifts, they could be a lot sometimes.
If someone would have told me in my earlier years, when I was lethal and feared, that I would end up sitting through high school multiple times, constantly being baby sat so I didn't accidentally kill a human; I'd probably have ripped their arms off and shoved one down their throat before they could even register the awful sound of their limbs being separated from their body. But Alas, I was a civilized member of society now, and I had accepted the defeat a long time ago.
Alice and Edward would always swoop in to stop me before I did something I could regret, and for that I was thankful. However, even though I knew they were doing it out of love and concern, the constant monitoring left me feeling suffocated. I never had the chance to even try fighting my own fires. What would happen if they weren't around to jump in and save me all the time? I wouldn't know. Even when they would leave for a while and travel, Alice was constantly calling.
I was glad that Edward understood our bond, and he'd truly became like a brother to me over the years. I'll never forget the love I felt between them when they first met. When Alice realized that him being able to read her mind meant that he could watch the future with her, she showed him all of the love and trust they'd develop and the lifetime of happiness they would share. Neither of them ever looked back. Now after decades of being together, it's like they have their own language. They can literally carry on a conversation without ever speaking.
He never got upset with how much attention Alice focused on me, he just wanted to be supportive of whatever made her happy, and for some reason she took me on like a project. I think she felt responsible since she was the one who brought me to the Cullen's, and sometimes I worried that I was a burden to her. I wondered if it would have been better for her if she didn't bring me along and feel the need to watch me all the time. I think Alice almost felt guiltier than I did for the lives I'd taken since we arrived, feeling responsible that she didn't see them coming. She wanted nothing more than to make Carlisle and Esme proud of both of us. They were our parents for all intents and purposes, and they really have loved us as such since we showed up on their doorstep. Despite our mistakes. It'd been decades since any of us had an actual slip up. I took to the diet quicker than I expected, ever since that first night Alice and I left the Diner. Maintaining it was the hard part. I was forcing myself to focus on that memory now.
We left the city that night, running as fast as we could until we were deep in the Catskill Mountains. I watched her approach a doe and take it down. I was in awe of the graceful dance between predator and prey. Alice was fierce, and quick with her kill. She hopped on the doe's back, snapping it's neck and sucking down the blood in less than a minute, before discarding it's body. She hadn't spilled a drop or even wrinkled her clothes. She looked exactly the same as she had before her hunt, and I had to chuckle, I had a feeling my approach wouldn't be so neat. She smiled at me encouragingly. I followed her lead and let my instincts take over, draining the next doe we came across. We took turns hunting in the forest for hours. After I had taken down the doe, I drained two bob cats, and a mountain lion, over compensating for my thirst. Once I was done and I felt like my body couldn't hold anymore liquid, I realized the burning was gone. The taste had been less than desirable, but I didn't feel the need to go feed on a human. I was so happy that I grabbed Alice into a bear hug and spun her around, pouring all of my gratification and respect into her.
I found a new lease on life that night because of her, I hated myself for even feeling the slightest bit of resentment towards her. She'd done so much for me, and continued to. She truly was my best friend in the world. I replay her words from the diner in my mind often. The one's that, in the end, made me decide to leave with her. 'It's not as delicious as human blood, but it's a lot more guilt free!'. Guilt. I had to remind myself of the guilt. The problem with that was, the thirstier I got, the farther out the window my reason and logic flew, and the harder it became to hear her voice in the back of my head.
It was my 9th time through High School since being with the Cullen's, but being around humans never seemed to get any easier. It was taking all of my control to sit and blend in while my thirst was at this level, surrounded by nearly one hundred beating hearts. It had been two weeks since I last fed, which I knew was pushing it. The others were starting to feel uncomfortable also, which only magnified my thirst. I had to feel their longing, on top of my own. My family only worried about me the most, because I consistently had the hardest time being around humans. I wasn't the one with the highest amount of slip ups in the family though. Emmett, my other brother, takes first place in that category. As if he were the mind reader, he chose that exact moment to playfully punch me in the side, and because he caught me off guard, I drew in a sharp breath and instantly regretted it. Alice gasped and tugged on Edwards shirt, they were both watching me now.
"Hey bro you ready for tonight? I'm gonna try to wake up a big ole' black bear! You know how angry they get when you bring their lazy asses out of hibernation! You already know Alice won't let Edward mess up his clothes, and I'm itchin' for a good fight!" Emmett asked me, grinning ear to ear unaware of the problem that he'd just caused for me. He had already went back to admiring Rosalie, and wasn't paying attention to my dwindling control. My focus was now on the scent that I had caught in that unfortunate breath. A girl with long sandy blonde hair, that just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. She walked just a little too close to me when she passed by to talk to some of her friends at the table to our right. Just as Emmett hit me.
Venom flooded my mouth, I tensed up and grabbed the seat of my chair, gripping it as if I was willing myself to stay seated. It cracked slightly from the pressure, and then Emmett was looking at me too. He was still waiting to hear my response to his bear fighting invitation, and was trying to figure out what had me so tensed up. His confusion turned to worry as he looked around the room, then realization as he followed my gaze to the girl. My instincts were fighting my logic now, and I was starting to wonder which would win the battle. The girl was standing with her back turned to me, and I tried to get a handle on myself, but the moment she laughed and tossed her hair behind her shoulder, my eyes found the delicious looking vein on her neck and lingered there. Even the heat vents were taunting me, carrying her scent directly to me.
"Edward…" Alice said through gritted teeth, her fear increasing. I barely registered her voice, but something in the back of my head gave me the common sense to hold my breath again. Guilt. My brain knew deep down that I didn't want to harm the girl, but every cell in my body was saying otherwise, preparing itself for the kill. It wasn't even that she smelled any better than the rest of them, she was just the closest and most convenient item on the menu. I started to let my mind wander into dangerous territory.
I began to imagine myself walking over to her, sending her waves of calm energy. I could bend down like I wanted to whisper in her ear and bring her scent in with a long slow inhale before letting my lips brush her throat. Then I would sink my teeth into the soft flesh of her neck and - Clunk.
"Edward, what the hell?" I said letting out a low growl. He had kicked the leg of my chair, stopping my fatal train of thought. The front left leg of my chair now had a small dent in it, and I was now sitting slightly lopsided. Just enough to bother me, but not enough for the humans around us to notice. Edward was feeling concerned and slightly irritated.
"That's what would happen if you were left to fight those fires on your own." He said, slightly bitter. I thought about kicking him back but instead I let go of my chair and relaxed my hands in my lap. If I didn't breathe again, I could probably keep it together. The burning was starting to become tolerable again, though just barely. I tried my best to calm myself down before I could get us all into trouble. Blend in. A mistake like that, so public, would be deadly for my family. We had very few rules in our world, but not exposing our secret was one of them. I knew he was just trying to help, but sometimes it seemed like he felt superior.
"Sorry." I finally muttered, still holding my breath, but trying to gain back some of my composure. Alice gave me an encouraging smile, and tried to hide her relief. She was also feeling a slight bit of anger towards Edward. She must've seen how close I came to letting that little day dream come to fruition.
"You weren't going to do anything, I could see that!" she said trying to reassure me, but I knew she was lying. Edward knew it too. He tried to hide his frown, but was unsuccessful. I could feel his guilt. He felt bad for letting that go on for so long. He could see the visions in her head. He rarely tried to lie to me because he knew I could sense it, but Alice always felt the need to try and shelter me from just how close I would come to slipping up.
I stared down at the apple sitting in front of me on my tray, and thought back to that night at the diner and how I was about to drink the coffee right before I sensed Alice. Before I gave it another thought, I brought the apple to my lips, closed my eyes and took a big bite. I figured maybe I could make myself feel sick enough that I wouldn't want to think about anything else but choking it back up for the next 2 hours. I repeated the process until I was only holding the core of the apple. My mouth coated in it's offensive flavor.
"Jasper that might actually work!" Alice said wrinkling her nose and smiling, she was feeling sympathetic, and slightly impressed by my efforts. Emmett and Edward had a laugh at my expense, both of them cringing at the thought of what I'd have to do later. The only person unaffected by the events of the last 30 minutes was Rosalie. She, as usual, was too consumed by her own self adoration to be bothered by anyone else. I had felt actual lust coming off of her on more than one occasion while she was staring at her own reflection. No one in the world was as vein and self absorbed as she was, I was sure of it.
Rosalie and I had been posing as the "Hale" twins for the last few decades. Carlisle had suggested that we share a last name since we were both blonde and had enough resemblance that we could pass as real siblings. She had been slightly offended that anyone could be compared to her, but she didn't protest. Her one condition was that we used her last name because she argued, in disgust, that mine sounded too Southern. I didn't really care enough to put up a fight. Jasper Whitlock had a rough go of it, and I was just ready for something new. So, Jasper Hale it was. The twin thing came later on from Emmett. He decided to start calling us that one day to try and get under Rosalie's skin, and it just stuck. The irony of the whole thing was that Rosalie and I probably had the least in common of anyone in the family. Deep down we loved each other in our own way I guess, but we just weren't that close. I didn't take it too personally though because she didn't really have a soft spot for anyone but Emmett. That was probably because he was the only one that worshiped her the way she felt she deserved.
Suddenly, as if he had heard his name being called, I saw Edward turn his head to a table in the middle of the lunch room, something had captured his attention. I could sense his curiosity. He looked back to me with an odd expression, and then to Alice. She was lost in a vision, I couldn't get a good read on her feelings. They were all jumbled up.
"Jessica Stanley is giving the new girl, Bella Swan, all the dirty laundry on the Cullen clan" Edward said, turning to Emmett. It felt like he was trying to hide something from me, he was working hard to mask his emotions. My eyes found the new girl then. Bella. The name was fitting, she was beautiful. She was staring right back at me with big chocolate brown eyes. I felt her embarrassment, and she looked back to Jessica, who had still been talking her head off. Jessica stopped for a moment when she noticed I was staring at Bella, and I was suddenly hit with a thick wave of her jealousy. I couldn't help but smirk.
"Anything good?" Emmett asked, amused.
"Rather unimaginative, actually. Just the barest hint of scandal. Not an ounce of horror. I'm a little disappointed." Edward replied, trying to seem casual. But He was starting to feel frustrated.
I turned my attention back to Bella. If I hadn't been so caught up in my thirst the first portion of the lunch period, surely I would have noticed her sooner. Her emotions were so unique, jumping out at me far more than those around her. It was very rare I'd come across a human with that level of emotional complexity. It was almost comparable to a vampire. I was having a hard time sorting through all of her feelings, though embarrassment was the most prominent one. It seemed she wasn't comfortable with all the attention she was getting on her first day. It's a good thing she couldn't feel all the lust and desire coming off the majority of the male students around her. It was interesting, most of the other girls her age would die for that kind of attention, especially her little friend Jessica. Bella seemed like she just wanted to go unnoticed, and was oblivious to the fact that all the boys were taken with her. Bella was asking Jessica something now speaking barely above a whisper, I couldn't make out everything she was saying but that's when she looked at me again.
"That's Jasper Hale. He's totally gorgeous…obviously. But like…don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently nobody here is good enough for him" Jessica said rolling her eyes and letting out an exasperated breath. I'd been completely ignoring her for the last two years since we moved here from Alaska. The lust and longing that came along with her constant staring was not welcomed or reciprocated. She seemed to be the only brave human this time around to develop a dangerous infatuation with one of us, and I unfortunately was on the receiving end of it this time. Usually it was Edward or Rosalie. After several notes she left in my locker went without reply, she eventually gave up and started focusing her efforts on Mike Newton, who was currently completely captivated by Bella, he was oozing with his attraction for her. That irritated me for some reason.
Bella's emotions were swirling when she noticed I was still looking over at her. Awe, wonder, curiosity, attraction, embarrassment. Loads of embarrassment! She blushed, her cheeks flushing with the most lovely rose color I've ever seen. She pulled her bottom lip up into her teeth, and looked away from me, developing a nervous grin before turning back to Jessica.
"I wasn't planning on it." She said so low I barely caught it. I looked over to Edward, wondering what she was thinking, jealous that he had direct access to her thoughts. However, he was staring at her now too, his mood flipping between curious and frustrated.
Crap. Was I doing it again? He was probably annoyed with me for thinking about her for too long. What was I even thinking? Less than ten minutes prior, I had been fantasizing about drinking some poor girl dry in front of everyone. Now I was wondering what was going on in this girls head? I knew it was probably for the best that I didn't focus my thoughts on any one human for too long. I needed to stop myself before she became just another target of my deadly day dreaming.
The urge to leave took over then. I decided I didn't care what the others thought, I wasn't proving anything to anyone by taking risks that endangered us all. Carlisle always said it was better safe than sorry. I stood up then, and turned to head towards the door that lead directly outside, deciding to fight my own fire for a change. At least it was my decision this time. I looked back once at my family before leaving. Emmett and Rose were confused by my abrupt departure. Edward was still feeling frustrated, barely noticing I wasn't at the table anymore, still staring at the girl. Alice was starting to feel panicked as she looked ahead, lost in another vision, but I was too determined to get the hell out of there to worry about what she saw. I couldn't help but wonder why Edward was still so worried about the girl, I was leaving. Surely she'd be fine.
I tried to push my thoughts pertaining to the chaos of the last hour to the back of my mind as I walked to the woods behind the school. As soon as I was behind the tree line, and out of the range of human eyes I took off running, and ended up going much farther than I intended. It just felt good to clear my thoughts and re-calibrate, though somewhere in the back of my head sat the big pair of chocolate brown eyes, and the nagging suspicion that they were in danger.